Latest Posts by enokioats - Page 2

we're running out of time to fuck it we ball....

Technoblade

website

You, the villain, have decided to confront the magical girls yourself. Their reaction was not one of fear, but of amazement. “You look SO FRIGGING COOL!”

Many ages ago Death was defeated and sealed. Immortality is the norm, but the loss of death has lead to a society of ultralites that rule over never dying slaves. As Death’s first reaper after the unsealing, you are here to remind them why Death exists… and why your master should be feared.

You’re an alien spy that has replaced someone in order to blend in on Earth. Turns out the guy you replaced had a very unhappy wife who immediately realised you aren’t him when you treat her like a normal husband should.

You angered a witch, and in retaliation, she transformed you into an unmovable tree in a public park. Months later, she returns with the sinister hope of reveling in your suffering, only to find that you are not only surviving but thriving and happier than ever before.

Humans are born with demon counterparts to protect them.The more innocent and pure a person is the more mean fierce and terrifying their demon becomes.Today you met an 82 year old woman with the kindest sweetest demon you’ve ever met.

i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE

whats cool about being trans is my parents are totally right. i did kill their beautiful son. im the thing that animates his corpse in an ever more convincing parody of a happy girl. i devoured him from the inside out and now there is nothing left of him and he is dead dead dead and there is only me, with my hollow eyes and dark eyeliner and long hair, and my big smile. my limp, effeminate gestures belie the marionetting of the boy they loved. my fagginess is his death. already his body becomes a fitter home for my parasitism in full; the tits, the hips, the thighs. sorry about your kid. thanks for the biomass <3

the world is a scary place when you are a small and edible thing

I think the only person I've met in real life with 100% career satisfaction was this gal I knew who was a presenter at a children's science museum and delivered every line like she was running a WWE match. Every time you passed the room where she was giving a presentation, you'd hear something like "WHO'S READY FOR CEPHALOPODS?!?" and the kids would go absolutely nuts cheering.

You can only reblog this today or until the next Monday, June 19th, 2028.

I think I may be trans- 🧍

I am not for sure

“oh they’re not taking away chronological dashboard, well everything’s okay then” they also said in the post they’re making reblogs collapsed (like comments on twitter) so you won’t see the full conversation in a post. they also won’t get rid of tumblr live despite it being an annoying and cancerous data-miner that isn’t legal in much of the world. they won’t even let you opt out of tumblr live for more than seven days. they implemented a terrible photo viewer that mimics tiktok and makes it so you can’t zoom in on images. they took away the ability to view prev tags. they’re making it so you have to sign in with your email to view almost any thing on tumblr. they’ve already made it so you have to sign in to send asks, even on anon. they’re slowly phasing out custom blog themes.

the things that make tumblr at all usable and favored by us– the older web blog features, the anonymity– that is still being taken away. it HAS been being taken away for some time now. i am urging you people to reveiwbomb the tumblr app. force them to acknowledge that users do not like these changes.

new type of guy just dropped

hey writers! OneLook Thesaurus lets you find that word you can’t think of but can describe! go check it out!

this 50′s hungarian comic strip I’d never heard of until now is so damn cute for something that also gets so horny

HAPPY FIRST EVER INTERNATIONAL AROMANTIC VISIBILITY DAY

HI!!!

I'm in University now, so pages will be slow </3

I did received all your nice messages! You guys give me strength, I will try to be more active about what I'm up to here. Kids will be back soon!

For now, Kennith singing "Out of Touch"

May 9th is Kermit's birthday!

Happy birthday, Kermit the Frog!!

From Pepe's book It's Hard Out Here for a Shrimp:

Trope: Unconventional Caretakers

My favorite.  My raison d'être.  What I love in every media I get my hands on.  The vast majority of what I write.

I love unconventional caretakers.  I love people forced to help their enemies.  I love people dragging themselves to the first familiar doorstep they see, even if it isn’t friendly.  I love people becoming reluctant allies because of the situation.

Knocking on their enemy’s door and collapsing because even death is better than torture.  Staring at your enemy’s bruised and broken form and realizing that you feel…horrified.

You’re not helping them, not really.  It’s just a…ceasefire!  You’re totally taking advantage of their absence, not hovering in the doorway and wringing your hands.  

They don’t know why you’re helping them.  All they can do is lie miserably in bed and hope that this time you’ll slit their throat.  The waiting is killing them.  They refuse to beg but how long will that resolve last?

I love the ‘we aren’t friends in any way, shape, or form but I couldn’t leave you there’.  I love the ‘this threat is bigger than the both of us’.  I love people looking at those they normally despise in horror, because there are lines they don’t cross.  That no one crosses.  And they’re going to make sure everyone gets that lesson.

Trope: Enemy to Caretaker

See also: Unconventional Caretakers.

Reasons Why I Love This Trope So Goddamn Much (not anywhere near a description of the totality of my feelings on this topic, but a start):

- The vulnerability.  The sheer terror of being exposed in front of someone you hate (who hates you).  The panic and stoicism of attempting to cover up the pain until it’s too much.  Until you can’t.  Until the agony is worse than letting them see your tears.

- The mistrust.  The constant second-guessing.  The suspicion of every move they make.  The concocting of escape plans, one after the other, because how can you tell the difference between being restrained for your own good and being captured?  The cuffs sure look the same.

- The surrender.  Hitting rock bottom.  Watching you give in and knowing that you’ve given up on everything because if you can’t fight against your enemy, you can’t fight against anyone.

- The unexpected compassion.  A hand where you expect a fist.  A bandage where you expect a break.  Snappish words and voices raised in anger and understanding, finally, that their bark is worse than their bite.

- The lack of safety.  There is no one to catch you when you fall.  No one who’s safe, who’s reliable, who’s trustworthy.  You are hurt and alone and you curl up and wait for the blow.  The slow relearning of trust.  The hesitant steps towards hope.  (The shattering, sometimes.)

Enemy.  To.  Goddamn.  Caretaker.

Please.

Wait wait wait. Who is Tag and Bink???

BUCKLE IN WE’RE IN FOR A LONG, WILD RIDE

i’ve talked about Tag and Bink before in tidbits here: 1, 2, 3

so THIS is Tag Greenley and Bink Otauna, aka the most IMPORTANT characters in the Star Wars franchise. (they’re also canonically both latino written by a latino writer and drawn by a latino artist but that’s less important)

These two are the cause of nearly every problem in the entire Star Wars franchise while also being the solution to every plot hole they’ve ever had. They are the leading characters in a short run 2006 comic series called Tag & Bink Were Here. The story basically goes through the OT as we follow these two as Rebel soldiers running around undercover as stormtroopers and cause chaos through sheer dumbass duo shenanigans. Along the way they pretty much start accidental beef with everyone they come across. These two have been in Vader’s presence 4 times and lived, they’ve been pursued by both Boba and Jango Fett and survived. I won’t go into all of them but when I say they solve every plot hole in Star Wars, I mean they solve ALL of them. 

What stormtroopers would be oblivious enough to let Obi-Wan sneak past them on the Death Star? Tag and Bink!

Who shot C-3PO on Cloud City? these two, obviously.

Who stole the Imperial ship for the Rebellion? 

Why was Boba Fett, the most dangerous bounty hunter in the galaxy, taken out so easily by a blind guy waving a stick? (won’t spoil this one but it’s pretty funny)

Eventually their story leads to them ranking up as the Emperor’s Red Guards 

only to reveal at the very end that they were YOUNGLINGS, once upon a time.

They’ve known each other their whole lives and have pretty much been each other’s closest and only friends. Apparently they struggled at the Jedi Temple. like.. BADLY. It’s also implied that they were bullied by the other youngings/padawans and also that none of their teachers/masters really paid attention to them. They are also the explanation of the Rishi Maze File’s disappearance, which they accidentally deleted while trying to study at the Temple library. They were scared enough to try to run away from the Temple temporarily, which led to them getting chased down by Jango Fett. They finally lose Jango but run straight into a young Anakin Skywalker. Which leads to the greatest retcon of all time:

ANAKIN’S ROMANTIC DIALOGUE IS SO DUMB AND TERRIBLE BECAUSE TWO 10 YEAR-OLDS WROTE IT FOR HIM. 

the explanation on why they help him break the Jedi Code kills me every time. Also they wrote every cringe romance line EXCEPT for the worst one:

And how did Anakin repay these two children for helping him win the love of his life, you ask? By running off to Tattooine after having mommy nightmares and leaving them stranded on Naboo after he forgot about them when the Clone Wars started and replacing them with another sassy child. Understandably pissed, these two crawl their way back to the Jedi Temple to give him a piece of their mind, which takes them 3 whole years because intergalactic war had broken out. And the day they make it back to the steps of the Jedi Temple? Same day Palpatine executed Order 66. Of course, they run right into Anakin in full murder-mode, but become the ONLY people Anakin spared after turning to the Dark Side. Their reward for helping Anakin get laid was to not get killed. Tag and Bink are the founders and leaders of the Screwed-Over-By-Anakin-Club, worsened by the fact that Bink is Alderaanian and lost his family/planet to Vader.

So they may have unintentionally caused the Fall of the Jedi and Republic by going to the library to study, but they also caused the Fall of the Empire in the same stroke, as they are the very reasons that Luke and Leia even exist. 

We haven’t even gotten to the part where Tag and Bink exist as Force-sensitives as an unnoticed byproduct of Darth Plagueis (The Wise) messing with Force manipulation. Which is.. incredibly hysterical that the biggest scariest Sith Lord brought down the entire Sith Empire by sheer accident while messing with his evil magic science experiments. 

The best part? TAG AND BINK ARE CANON. They were in a scene in the Han Solo movie, which was unfortunately removed from the final cut. BUT they made it to the novelization and visual dictionary. There was plans for another 3-part comic to be made about them causing havoc in the Sequel Trilogy, which never saw the light of publication, but the author Kevin Rubio says that Tag and Bink solve THIS plothole:

and the author also encourages fans that these two stormtroopers who noped out on Anakin’s grandson’s temper tantrum are also Tag and Bink:

but anyways, in conclusion if you wanna see two himbos with major Side Character Syndrome while being massively underappreciated (Din wants what they have) running around causing problems just click the link to the full free comic series online: X