3 Of My Classes Are Fully Asynchronous. I Love It. I Think The Discussions Are Just Dumb And Superficial,

I've been a mess lately, but it's a good kind of mess. I actually felt ~happy~ yesterday. It was a foreign feeling. I've been trying to catch myself feeling happy or proud of myself. It's the same idea as trying to catch kids being good instead of catching kids when they're being bad. I had a really good day at work yesterday. Driving home I was a bit stressed, but I heard some great feedback and I was just on cloud 9... well compared to stressy and depressy. I really needed that with the pandemic, online classes, weird hybrid subbing, my grandma, and just everything else.

One of my great great aunts or something like that used to have a lemon tree in her kitchen (old greek lady) and I want to do the same when I finally get my own place 🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

Hey I've been like incredibly swamped lately so sorry for being absent.

I actually have been working a lot, but this week I only worked on Monday (I was so incredibly off that day for no reason and I made some really bad mistakes such as saying shit in front of sheltered middle schoolers when I got locked outside of the building when the door became unpropped and I let them out to break up the weird hybrid schedule and also kinda losing 4 kids but they just twisted my directions to go for a walk around the school... those incidents shouldn't have happened). I normally have Tuesdays off because of my inconveniently timed composition class. I took Wednesday off to get ahead for school (would have gotten more done if I didn't get blown out cuz CANVAS glitched the literal second I submitted my high stakes midterm). Tomorrow, Thursday I get my second dose in the morning. I had a kinda bad reaction to the first shot (actually was like the second dose with swollen lymph nodes, low grade fever, exhausted, headache, dizzy, just overall feeling bad) for 48 hours and then still a little out of it for another 48 hours. Fingers crossed this dose goes much smoother. Just in case it doesn't, I have everything done that is due before Sunday at midnight. I also got my mom to drive me to my appointment tomorrow cuz I damn near passed out at the place and driving home (i dont do well with shots if you can tell but they're so important and I wouldn't risk not getting it).

I've been doing in person subbing, which is a big jump for me. It's a lot more stressful because I'm constantly reminding middle schoolers to pull their masks up and to give each other a little more space. Their behavior also got a lot worse because they haven't been in person for nearly a year. However, they really needed this. It just sucks that they're being put in this position. Getting the first dose made me feel a little better, although I walk in with a thing of wipes, two masks, hand sanitizer, a pack of back up masks, and no lunch (they've been shoving kids into classrooms to eat because the lunch rooms are tiny). Wish me luck!

Officially caught up on all my sick work!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Now to tackle this week's activities that mostly accumulated on this weekend 🙃

Also, I use google docs as a planner because my online classes are hard to manage with their random postings and due dates and changes. I normally don't need to do this, but the rainbow highlighting at the top was part of a list of everything I needed to do this week (I am doing the work for this week and last week). I color coded it for each day to help break it up.

Happy leaf sweeper

(via)

@kopikuestudies that's the worst. Especially since proof writing isn't always the most natural feeling thing. I hope things worked out for you. Just know, math feels like such a horrible and unrelenting subject. If you're struggling, everyone else is or just lowered their standards or already took the class. Please try to find it in you to relax and do something non-math related. Take home math exams are literally torture in a new form.

Yesterday was a very long  day, and was made even longer by attempting to do a math test for a good 6 hours.

I felt so unproductive, depressed, stressed, and distracted today. I'm overwhelmed. I dropped a stats class yesterday (first time ever doing that) because

1) I no longer want to minor in stats

2) I truly couldn't understand the lecturer

3) the course didn't closely follow a textbook.

It wasn't her accent, I had absolutely no issue with that, but her slides just didn't make any sense. There were no sample data or pictures or diagrams and even the formulas didn't make sense (instead of sub scripts she would just put random punctuation afterwards). I gave it a valid shot for two classes, but it was clear we weren't a good match. I'm now enrolled in a comp class (counts towards my degree), but I'm so incredibly anxious. Writing stresses me out so much. I also think that my university doesn't do a good job with their composition courses. I finally got a copy of the syllabus and textbook, and I'm going to be rereading and rewriting about essays I saw in 10th grade Accelerated English. I feel anxious even though I have already done this. I have a lot to improve on, which is painfully obvious, but it doesn't sound like this course will help me. Also, I'm now about 1.5 weeks behind in that course. I needed today to be productive, but my mother called and brought up some touchy stuff and I got all blown out. Anywho... here's what I got through (1/3 of what I needed to do)

• read ch. 1 for reading in the content areas

• read ch. 3 for reading in the content areas

• digested a pre-recorded presentation + took notes

• explored some cool vocabulary sites for teaching K-12 (mostly elementary if we're being honest) (it's very very important to teach literacy in all grades for all subjects but my university kind of drops the ball with high school / secondary ages)

• did 2 loads of wash

• actually put away my clothing

• saw my sis and it was a little cathartic to talk about how messed up my mom is and what we went through but also bothered me a lot

...And with that I'm gonna go to bed and hopefully tomorrow I feel a bit better and can get some more stuff done considering all the due dates coming up 🤞

Now I want iced coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

oliviabynature via instagram

School has been a bit chaotic. I had to take a couple days off to recover from the first dose of the vaccine (I'm notoriously bad about shots). While I'm so incredibly grateful that I could get it, I was knocked out for 2 whole days and am behind.

72 hours of chaos:

●read a chapter + notes + watched necessary videos and presentations

●graphic organizer activity for this (past) week (mind map with bubbl.us or whatever that took too long)

●discussion readings + post + reply

●19 page assignment

●"long term assignment" that was a 4-5 page essay in response to an article that I did within 12 hours

●170 minutes of stats videos + notes

●initial contribution for stats group project

●lots of essay revising for a comp class + submission

●reading this week's essay for comp class and prepared notes

●shoveling my corner house and my grandma's house *twice*

I wish I could say that tomorrow is going to be better, but it's not :/

My region is currently being pummeled by a snow storm and I'm going to have to get up early early to shovel 7-12 inches of snow before my online comp class and another grueling day of online learning while my grandma is currently dying alone in a hospital with a positive covid test along with many other health issues

~It's fine. Everything is fine~