XXX

the scientists used to enter my enclosure with radiation suits on. they were advised not to get close to me cause if i bit them or they hung around me too long, they could get a lethal dose of radiation.

but some of them still would pet me when they pumped me full of chemicals. some would leave parts of their lunch for me near the entrance to my enclosure. the way some of them looked at me...i think they forgot that i was just a reanimated corpse of a wolfdog that had been be so modified it could barely be considered a wolfdog anymore. i much more resembled some kind of alien or shapeshifter.

still though...some of the scientists wanted and still want the best for me. even now that they remotely monitor me.

sometimes i can hear their radio calls in my head. make observations about my behavior. giving me migraines to deter me from getting too close to humans. making my body hurt and ache when i stray too far from where Im meant to be.

i wish my current environment was more like my enclosure. nice and foggy and chilly. mostly wastelands expect for a few sparce shrubs and dead trees. i used to dig burrows in the dirt and sleep underground. i miss the smell of dirt.

x

Kyoto International Conference Center

do yall think i’ll get shit on for posting this?

ALSO!!! IMPORTANT!! if anything on here is wrong pls correct me so i can post with the right information :))

x

# 26 . 07. 24

🦴 ! There’s an assumption that all physical therians / holothere identify as an animal on a physical level due to autism, psychosis or due to forming an animal alter.

🐾 ! However, I rarely see people discuss how other aspects of mental health influence their animal identity. In my personal experience, I think that my obsessive compulsions and intrusive thoughts are a rather large part of my identity as a physical therian.

🥩 # content warning for compulsive auto-cannibalism and emetophobia warning

♟️ ! I struggle with compulsive skin eating, I have sustained great nerve damage and broken bones from this, however I cannot digest human flesh and often it comes back up shortly after.

🦴 ! I am then frequently met with the urge to feed my regurgitated flesh to my ‘pups’. Whilst I do not have any children or pets, due to hitting sexual maturity at the age of 7, I deal with incredibly overwhelming maternal instincts despite being a man.

🐾 ! I often see others want to discuss the ugly side of therianthropy, the aspects that repulse most other humans, yet outside of mild species dysphoria, I am yet to see more than a handful of creatures discuss these animalistic urges that aren’t ‘tiktok ready’.

♟️! I am a coyote through and through, not just in appearance or connection. I am more coyote than just a fluffy tail or tall ears, I am coyote in my behaviour and real life too.

Headquarters of the French Communist Party, Paris. Oscar Niemeyer.

memory is a monster

the mountain goats/waste isolation pilot plant warning/john irving/allison meir/waste isolation pilot plant warning/arthur miller/the mountain goats

me when phantom shift(I’m also incapable of sitting normally apparently)