911 Season 8 Episode 9 Could Alternatively Be Called “the Buckley Siblings Being Fucking Crazy, But

i haven't watched the ep (yet) but friendly reminder that DID is one of the most misunderstood disorders in media, and that people with DID are NOT evil or dangerous. the most likely person they hurt is themselves, not the people around them. it's fucking disgusting that 911 is demonising an already heavily-misrepresented disorder, shame on them.

Uber product placement , Playstation product placement , whatever those caffeine shots are is product placement , U-haul product placement , his fucking truck Denali product placement , AMAZON PRIME product placement AGAIN . What is going on why does Eddie have all the products in his scenes I'm dead

Eddie isn't sure what he's expecting when Buck meets him at the airport. Red-rimmed eyes, splotchy face, hunched shoulders probably. Not this. Distant eyes, blank face, straight-backed. He'd been braced to catch Buck as soon as he landed, had spent his whole flight locking every bit of his own grief away to be thought about at a later date, let the guilt pool in his chest instead.

I should've been there, I could've -

He'd been ready to catch Buck, but it's Eddie who falls into Buck's waiting arms. Eddie who tears up. Eddie who clutches at the back of Buck's shirt like a scared child. And it's Buck sweeping his hands up and down Eddie's back, holding him together, murmuring:

"It's okay. I've got you. It's not your fault."

Eddie doesn't cry in LAX. His grief is a private thing. Always has been. He locks it into his bedroom and lets it out behind closed doors. But Buck is the safest space he's ever had, so he lets himself break a little. Lets himself shake apart under Buck's hands until he can ground himself with a deep breath at the junction of Buck's neck and shoulder. Until he can stand on his own.

Buck looks at him, eyes searching, deepest of furrows between his brows, so devastatingly gentle. And Eddie kind of wants to fucking scream at him for being okay. He'd needed to take care of Buck. He'd needed to have something to do. But now Buck is looking at him like he can fix him, and Eddie wants him to. So badly. But Buck knows Eddie's grief is for South Bedford Street, not LAX, so all he does is lead Eddie out to the parking lot.

It's a silent drive. Buck tells him the details of the funeral. Clinical. Sparing. And Eddie watches Buck's knuckles turn white on the steering wheel. Listens to the creak of leather under an unyielding grip. And he sees it then. The countdown over Buck's head, ticking away steadily. He's grateful in a way.

They pull up to the house silently. The engine falls quiet. And they stare at the door. The door Bobby had appeared on the other side of just a few months ago for a goodbye dinner. At the house. The house Bobby made coffee in when Eddie couldn't stomach being alone. At the home. The home Bobby helped him build in every way.

Buck gets out of the car. Eddie follows. Buck unlocks the door. Eddie locks it behind them. Buck disappears into the kitchen. Eddie pauses.

Can't quite separate Bobby from kitchens in his mind. And it's not like Bobby ever cooked anything in Eddie's kitchen, but there's some stupid grief-crazed part of his brain that thinks he'll find Bobby at the stove for a last supper. A parting gift to Eddie. Because Bobby was always too good. Too generous. Too understanding. When it came to Eddie.

When he finally makes it in there, Buck is stood staring into the fridge. Vacant. Eddie joins him, presses their shoulders together as hard as he can without knocking Buck away, and looks at Buck's fingers curled loosely around two beer bottles. Eddie knows it's not the early hour staying his hand.

It feels wrong. To find comfort in alcohol at Bobby's expense.

Carefully, Eddie unpicks Buck's fingers from the bottles and watches as Buck's arm falls limp to his side with such weight it bounces off his hip. Swings once, twice, stops suddenly. Eddie grabs the water filter. Closes the fridge.

"Sit down," he whispers. Sure, steady.

Buck sits down.

Eddie grabs two glasses. Fills them with water. Leaves the filter on the side. Who cares? Who fucking cares? Takes the glasses over to the table in shaking hands. Spills only a little. Sits opposite Buck. Stares into his cup.

"I didn't say it back," Buck rasps eventually.

Eddie picks his head up with great effort. Ony manages it because he wants to see what hurt he's caused. Their missing medic. Absent in their hour of need.

"What?"

"B-he-he told me he loved me." Buck's eyes go wide. Horrified. Haunted. Hollow. "He t-told me he l-loved me, and I could-couldn't say it back be-because that would mean..." Buck chokes a sob into his hand. "I thought we'd fix it. I-I-I thought we'd find a way. We-we always do. I couldn't say it-it. I didn't want t-to let him go. And now, he's..." Buck's face crumples first. Then, the rest of his body follows, folding in on itself in the chair until he looks almost as small as Christopher had the first time he'd ever sat at this table. "He's d-gone, and he doesn't know I love him."

"He knows, Buck." Eddie's hand curls into a fist on the tabletop. Doesn't know what to do. For all he'd been ready to hold Buck together, he's not sure how. "He knows you love him, Buck. You told him every single day."

"But I never said the words!" he snaps. Pure rage. Pure guilt. He looks up at Eddie. Blue eyes wet and red and wild. The rage and the guilt seeps away, leaves only pure grief. "I never said the words."

He sobs then. Doesn't choke it down. Lets it out. Eddie reacts like it's instinct even though he's never done this before. Just somehow knows in his bones what to do when it comes to Buck.

He stands, rounds the table, slides a hand into Buck's hair, one on his shoulder, pulls Buck's face into his stomach and holds him there, holds him together. Buck's fingers tangle themselves in Eddie's belt loops. A lifeline. And Eddie holds him tight as he can.

"All the times you cooked for him. All the times he cooked for you. The two of you cooking together. You had your own language, Buck. He knows you love him."

And all Eddie hears is: you're gonna stand there with a hundred-something bodies on you and tell me I'm not fit for duty. Did Bobby know Eddie loved him too?

Squeezing his eyes shut tight, Eddie drops his cheek to the top of Buck's head. Stops holding Buck together and starts holding on. Buck's hands grasp at his hips, twist into the back of his shirt just like Eddie's had at the airport.

And all Eddie hears is: I just want to make sure you don't think you have to lose everything before you can allow yourself to feel anything.

OH MY FUCKING GOD NO NO NONONONON MADDIEEEEE. I SAID NO MADDIE NDE ON MY PREDICTION HOW DARE YOU 😭

now call me crazy but if eddie were actually straight i dont think The Television would keep telling me that. i think they’d just let him be straight in peace. my humble opinion

Literally Buck being Eddie’s biggest supporter is so important, Eddie feels so alone and isolated and like he’s on the outside right now, but he’s got Buck. No matter how far away he always has Buck like!!!!!!!!!!!!

and actually if you are making people being upset about eddie's absence about like some sort of ship win then fundamentally you are misunderstanding why people are so upset. like, it's INSANE that eddie wasn't there. from just, a general point of view. the fact that a main character of SEVEN YEARS was left out. was not there with his family of SEVEN YEARS when someone deeply important to him died* is crazy and unjustifiable. like, it wasn't egregious because of the buck of it all. it was the fact that eddie should have been there with his family. i literally couldn't give a fuck if tommy was also there. whatever. but including him and not including eddie in a 118 main character death. eddie for whom the 118 is literally his family. who has worked with and loved and supported and been supported by and almost died with these people over and over for the past SEVEN YEARS. that's simply a terrible and absolutely unnecessary choice. and people are justified in being upset by that.

One thing I am really curious about if (when) Buddie goes canon, is how they are going to handle the "Telling Chrisopher" conversation.

Is Eddie going to decide to have a heart-to-heart with Chris before he ever confesses his feelings for Buck because he wants to make sure his son is okay with it/he has his blessing to date again? Or are Buck and Eddie doing to get together, and then they have to navigate the dilemma of when/how to tell Chris?

I think either option presents so many interesting possibilities. Given Eddie's track record with dating/how he has approached the dating conversation with Christopher in the past, the latter option seems more in line with what he has done previously but the former is not necessarily out of the question considering just how royally he fucked up with his last relationship. Sooo here are my thoughts about how each one could pan out.

Pre-realtionship heart-to-heart option:

Positive reaction— Chris is totally cool with it. He loves Buck, and maybe even at one point thought they were together or would be good together but never said anything (little bit of wishful thinking here on my part, but I am a sucker for Chris secretly wanting Buck to be his second dad). Maybe he even helps his dad plan out how he's gonna confess his feelings. I swear to God if Eddie goes for some kind of grand gesture I want to see Chris involved in some way. I will be reduced to tears if that happens. Probably the best outcome, definitely a better outcome than Eddie would expect.

Negative reaction— Chris freaks out. Not because he has a problem with his dad wanting to be with a man, but because Eddie has a terrible track record with dating– which Chris has already been very hurt by– and because it's Buck. His dad has a nasty habit of bringing another person into their family unit and ruining it when things seem to be going well and Chris has gotten used to them being in his life. Now it's someone Chris has a well-established, deeply meaningful bond with, and he will not let his father ruin that. Not an ideal reaction, but realistic given past discussions between Christopher and Eddie about his dating decisions. I could see the aftermath of this going one of two ways:

Prompts further discussion and reassurance from Eddie about why this time will be different– His past relationships had less to do with what Eddie himself wanted but what he thought Chris wanted or what he thought would be best for him (having a mom). He was pushing aside his own happiness and desires to become a version of himself that could be deemed a "good father" and a "proper man", at least by his parent's standards. But he doesn't want to do that anymore. He doesn't have to hold himself to someone else's standards to prove he can be a good father or man. He wants to be the best version of himself, to allow himself to experience the joy he has been denying for so long so that he can show up better for his son. Chris tentatively gives his dad permission to date Buck if he wants, but if he screws it up like he fears Eddie will, Chris will not forgive him for it.

Given Chris' reaction and his strong desire to fix his relationship with his son, he, once again, decides to prioritize what Chris wants. This might lead him to forgo dating altogether for a while or to try dating other people to get over his feelings for Buck (obviously, this doesn't work). To make matters worse, once they move back to LA (before or after this convo) they have to deal with the fact that Buck is going to be living with them for the foreseeable future until he's able to find a new apartment. Cue insufferable amounts of pining from both of them. At some point, Christopher is gonna realize that they are both crazy about each other and he's had about enough of the longing looks and his dad moping around. He'll finally give Eddie the go-ahead with a warning that he better not screw it up.

Post-relationship dilemma option:

Positive reaction– I imagine the convo would be quite similar to the one in the heart-to-heart option with some differences, such as a discussion about how long they have been together, why they didn't tell him sooner, what this means for their family, etc. I think it would be funny if Chris already knew or suspected bc they might have been oblivious to their own feelings, but literally no one else is.

Negative Reaction– Again, I think this would prompt a similar reaction to what would happen in the negative heart-to-heart scenario, with the first outcome being likely to occur. I don't think they would necessarily break up over this, but that they would give Chris some time and space before discussing the situation further and giving him as much reassurance as he needs that everything will be okay. I can see Buck being the person to approach him first to talk about it since he is usually the one Chris turns to when he's upset with Eddie. It could be a slow process, but eventually Chris is fine with it and is happy that his dad and Buck found happiness in each other.

Secret Third Option– They don't tell him, maybe he doesn't suspect a thing, he catches them together before they get a chance to say anything. Chris' reaction to this one could probably fit either of these potential neg/pos reactions and be further complicated by whether or not Buck and Eddie know that he saw them doing romantic coupley shit. I do think it would be hysterical for them not to notice him when he catches on; he'll starts dropping hints that he knows and waits for it to finally click that they aren't as secretive as they thought they were. They eventually catch on and admit they are in love and live happily ever after as a family.

Either way, all options lead to Buddie canon with a happy ending for all three of them because I said so.

Eddie's going to leave his parents' house after a huge blow up fight with his mom and he's going to be alone in his truck and he's going to look longingly at the passenger seat and sigh because Buck should be there.

And then he's going to call Buck on his drive home and Buck will have Eddie's back when he tells him about the fight. And when Eddie gets home he'll park the car and sigh and close his eyes and Buck will still be talking and Eddie will pretend Buck's in the car with him (where he belongs) for just a few seconds and then he'll tell Buck he's home and they'll hang up and Eddie will be alone again.

And he'll realize that the person who has always had his back is over 800 miles away and he misses him more than he ever thought he would. And it'll hit him like a ton of bricks that Buck is the first person he calls after a bad day and after a good one. That Buck is the voice he wants to hear when he's spiraling. That the reason it's been so hard to look directly that his relationship with Buck is because it's something beyond friendship. He loves him to the core.