Curate, connect, and discover
I would like to put forth my idea for how I would like Eddie's coming out and feelings confession for Buck to go. I am a little torn on whether I want the feelings confession/Buddie getting together to happen this season— only because I worry we'll get it at the very end and miss out on early relationship development between them in a time skip for S9. I think I'd be fine with it eventually if that's what we end up getting bc Buddie being canon at all is important to me, but I would hate to not see how they handle everything after they get together. Regardless, I would love to see them do this:
I want Eddie to get his gay realization and/or acceptance and feelings realization while in El Paso. I want Eddie and Chris to come back home to LA after figuring everything out, and I want Eddie to eventually have that one-on-one coming out conversation with Buck like they did in S7. I want Buck to be visibly shaken by this information, internally having the biggest freak-out of his life because holy shit Eddie isn't straight before he composes himself. Because this moment isn't about him, it's about Eddie. He apologizes for his reaction— because of course Eddie noticed and seemed to have a brief moment of panic himself— and reassures him that he was just surprised. Maybe Buck asks him what happened in El Paso to make him realize or Eddie himself offers up that information. Maybe he met or befriended someone while he was in Texas and they got to talking one night about their relationships. Maybe this person is gay, and, like Eddie, had repressed their sexuality for a long, long time before realizing that they had fallen in love with their best friend (and maybe Eddie leaves this little detail out because in the process of talking through this persons' relationship with their friend, Eddie realizes just how similar it is to his and Buck's relationship and he isn't ready to share that). He tells Buck about how the conversation got him thinking about his past relationships with women and why they never seemed to work out. By the end of it, he realized it was because he didn't really want to be with women at all. Maybe he even realized he had a close friend as a kid, a boy, who his feelings for went beyond platonic. Buck's response to this is one of support, because of course it is. He hugs Eddie, thanks him for telling him, and reassures him that this didn't change anything between them, just as Eddie had when Buck told him about Tommy. And maybe Eddie leaves it at that. He doesn't say anything to the contrary, no matter how much he wants to tell Buck that he does want their relationship to change, because he still doesn't feel worthy enough to have what he wants.
And so begins the most awkward, adorable, hilarious series of events where these two oblivious dorks dance around their mutual feelings for each other, assuming that they are unrequited while we the audience and all their friends and family know that that's not the case. They'll stumble over their words and stare at each other longingly when the other isn't looking. Maybe there will be moments of jealousy when the other gets hit on by someone they know the other could he interested in. Maybe a guy flirts with Eddie and Buck does that thing where he tries so desperately to get all of Eddie's attention back on him. Maybe there will be moments here and there where one of them will attempt to confess their feelings, only to be interrupted before they can get the words out. Or they go into the conversation with shaky confidence only to completely change the subject when they realize they can't say it.
Eventually, one of their friends or family members intervenes because someone has to. The two of them are getting absolutely nowhere because they are too afraid to cross the line. I would love it if Maddie was the one to approach the conversation with Eddie. Mostly because I need more interactions between the two, but also because I think it makes the most sense for what Maddie would do in the situation. Sure, Buck is her brother, but she knows well enough after their previous conversations about Eddie that there is a very slim chance she can convince him to make the first move. I also just want Eddie to be the one to make the first move, period. For him to finally get to a place where he feels worthy enough to choose what he wants, and he does. And maybe that's the crux of his conversation with Maddie. That he doesn't feel worthy of Buck. And Maddie reassures him that that isn't the case. She tells him about how she used to feel the same way when she ran away from her family. How unworthy she felt for so long to be a mother and a wife after the bathtub incident with Jee-Yun. How scared she was to make a mistake that would ruin everything. But eventually, she pushed through it, despite the fear, and came out on the other side so much happier. And Eddie can do the same. His past mistakes do not define him if he doesn't let them. She's seen how much the two of them matter to each other, how they make each other better people. She's also seen how miserable they can be when they are apart. So she tells him to think about it, encouraging him to face his fears and push through them for a chance at the life that he wants, one full of joy.
And he does think about it, over and over again, but maybe it still takes him a bit before he's ready. Maybe he even tries to plan out the perfect love confession once he gets there. And maybe all of that goes completely out the window one night when it's just the two of them sitting side by side on the couch in their apartment (omg please let them be roommates once Eddie and Chris come back). There's a moment while they're talking where their eyes meet. Then a pause in the conversation as they look into each other's eyes. And this is the moment where the dam breaks. Eddie tells Buck that he loves him. He's loved him for a very long time, longer than he probably even realizes. That he couldn't stop thinking about him while he was away in El Paso. How scared he has been to tell him since he realized, especially once he and Chris came back home. And maybe he just starts rambling at this point because he's being very vulnerable in this moment and he's not used to that and once he starts he can't stop himself. And Buck is waiting patiently for him to stop talking so he can say what he needs to say, but at a certain point, he realizes Eddie isn't going to and takes matters into his own hands. He kisses Eddie. And it's not a great first kiss. It's not really meant to be, just a pressing of lips together long enough to get Eddie to shut up for a second so that when Buck pulls away he can tell him, "I love you, too". They look at each other for a moment and smile before leaning in again for a second kiss. And it's perfect. They'll eventually need to talk more about where they go from here. How and when they'll tell Chris, the 118, and the rest of their families. But for right now, it's just them sharing their first intimate moment as a couple, putting aside all of their fears and worries for as long as they can to make this moment last.
Okay, but imagine this: Eddie feelings realization brought about through another lookalike/doppelganger storyline. I know this sounds out-there, but considering the whole Shannon/Kim storyline was an actual thing that existed in the show— and we know how much the writers love doing parallels and they've been doing some very fanfiction-esque stoylines with 8b— I don't think this is completely outside the realm of possibility so stay with me on this completely ridiculous stream of thought for a bit.
Now I was not and am still not really a fan of the whole Shannon/Kim doppelganger storyline but I think if they did it again in a very specific way with a Buck doppelganger it would be so interesting. With the Shannon/Kim doppelganger, the importance of it is for Eddie to finally get closure for himself. To say the things he never got a chance to say to her so he could move on from that relationship. I think a Buck doppelganger can also be used as a way for Eddie to say all the things he couldn't say to Buck before he left. Only, this doesn't serve the purpose of Eddie finding closure and moving on, but as a catalyst for him realizing the full extent of his feelings.
In the present day, Eddie finds himself back in his hometown— a place he tried so hard to run away from— to be there for his son. He built an entire life for himself back in LA and now he's gonna have to start all over again. So he puts himself out there, attempting to meet new people and make new friends. In the process, he ends up meeting a man who looks and sounds a little too much like his best friend. And he knows it's a bad idea; he has had to live with the reality of just how bad an idea this is for months following what happened with Kim. But he misses his best friend so bad. Sure, they talk and do video calls to stay in touch, but it's not the same. He's not there with him in El Paso being a consistent presence in his life, and he feels so lonely without that presence. So he befriends this Buck doppelganger. They hit it off and start to spend more and more time together, and eventually, either Eddie decides to come clean or Buck's doppelganger finds out about his resemblance to Eddie's best friend, prompting Eddie to explain the whole situation and apologize for lying.
Maybe at this point, his Buck had already gone through his 8x11 storyline. He's already been confronted with the idea that his feelings for Eddie aren't platonic, and he's doing everything to push that train of thought aside. He can't entertain the idea that he is in love with his straight best friend, as he likes to say. He needs to distance himself from whatever feelings might be there. Which also includes distancing himself from Eddie. He doesn't answer his calls as much, doesn't make an effort to reach out, finds other distractions so he has an excuse for why he wasn't available to talk, etc. And it's driving Eddie crazy. He's never felt so disconnected from Buck, and it's starting to have an effect on his ability to function at this point.
So when Eddie tells him all this and Buck's doppelganger asks him what he would say to him right now if he could, Eddie throws all caution to the wind.
He says all the things he's been wanting to say, even the things he didn't know he wanted to say. He tells him how sorry he is for leaving. That he knows how deep Buck's abandonment issues run and how painful it is to have another person in his life leave him. How much he would give to have been able to stay and spare him that hurt. Hell, the thought of asking Buck to leave with him had even crossed his mind more than once, but how could he ever ask that of him? Los Angeles was his home. The 118 were his family. He built a stable foundation for himself that he'd never had throughout most of his life. Eddie wasn't going to be the one to take a wrecking ball to that stable foundation. As much as Eddie would like to be, he isn't worthy of that kind of consideration. Who would throw their entire life away to be with him? He would never ask him to make that choice. Just as he knows Buck was never asking Eddie to make a choice between him and Chris. But Eddie felt like that was what he was doing at the time— making a choice between what he wanted and what was best for his son. A choice had to be made whether he liked it or not, and he would always choose his son. But, if pressed on it, he would have to admit that if the choice were between Buck and anyone else? Buck would win every single time. He would say that he missed him and he wanted him to be a constant in his life again, in both their lives again. That the distance being put between them, both literal and figurative, was killing him.
And as he's listening to this— to his newfound friend pouring his heart out to him like he's his best friend— Buck's doppelganger makes the realization that everyone else in their lives has, waits for Eddie to finish what he has to say, and says to him:
"Wow. You must really love him."
And that is the moment. Eddie hears those words, processes them, thinks about everything he just said, everything they had been through together, and realizes.
Oh.
That's what this thing between them has been. That's what all this heartache and loneliness and panic he's been experiencing in the last few weeks has been about.
"Yeah, I do."
And this realization does not just magically fix everything. It's a starting point. He still has to work through what happened with Chris, and this revelation may be a central point to helping him get there. Because it forces him to examine everything about his life up to this point. His relationship with Buck, his relationship with his family, his relationship with Shannon, his relationships with women and his sexuality in general, and his relationship with religion. And once he does all of that, he can make the decision to choose something different, for himself and for Chris. They can reconcile. They can move back to LA, back to their found family with the 118 and Buck. He can love his best friend and choose to make him a part of their family.
I also like the idea of doing a parallel between Shannon and Buck as love interests for Eddie because I do think their relationships share similarities despite all of their differences.
Despite the fact that I do absolutely think Eddie loved Shannon, I do not think he was ever really in love with her. He had a genuine care and love for her, yes, but so much of that care and love was tied up in her relationship to him as the mother of his child, not just as his wife. Her relationship with Eddie will always be a part of who he is, undoubtedly. She was a friend to him, someone he loved, the first person he was ever intimate with, his wife, and the mother of his son. She played so many important roles in his life, and she can be all of those things and still not be the love of his life, nor even someone he necessarily loved in a romantic sense at all. Because they were still just kids when they got together and had Chris. They were still trying to figure out who they were and what they wanted to do with their lives when they got pregnant and rushed into marriage and parenthood. All the decisions that followed that were messy and difficult and their relationship shifted completely overnight. Would they have ever gotten married if they didn't have Christopher? My guess is probably not, but we'll never know for sure. When Kim says to Eddie "I guess she was the love of your life," he doesn't say, "she was," he says, "I think she was." He knows he loved her, but he is unsure if she was ever "the one". In hindsight, I think he looks back on their relationship with rose-colored glasses a lot of the time. He talks about how they were together as if the glimpses we saw of them constantly fighting and leaving each other and avoiding big conversations never happened or weren't as prevalent. They did love each other, but they did not love each other in the ways that either one of them deserved.
Compare that with Eddie's relationship with Buck, and I would argue he has played all of these same roles in Eddie's life that Shannon did, but in a much more harmonious and stable way. He's also the only other character to take on all of these roles in Eddie's life to the extent that he does. They are best friends, they love each other, Buck has become a parental figure of sorts for Chris and would legally be his guardian if anything happened to Eddie, and he has a closeness with Eddie and has done things for him/with him that romantic partners often do. Despite their rocky beginning, they became fast and inseparable friends. They've had each other's backs through nearly every single trial and tribulation that they've faced for the past 7 years. Buck seamlessly fit into both Eddie and Chris' lives as well, all three of them spending so much quality time together. They have been mistaken for a couple before. Buck heard that Eddie was struggling with childcare for Chris and provided a solution without needing to be asked. He helped Eddie find a solution to accommodate Chris' disability when he wanted to try skateboarding. He fought like hell to try to keep Chris safe when the tsunami hit. Whenever they've had major accidents/NDE's in the line of work, they are always each other's primary concern. Eddie made the decision on his own to change his will to make Buck Christopher's legal guardian if anything happened to him, and he is unwavering in his conviction that he would be the only other person besides himself that would fight like hell to make sure Chris has everything he wants and needs. Which could mean nothing, but as a single dad, Eddie's main concern when it comes to dating and marriage has to be how it will affect his son; what kind of parent would the other person be to him? Buck was there for Chris when Eddie got shot. He was the first person Chris ran to when he was angry with Eddie. He was there for both of them when Eddie went through his breakdown. He was there for Eddie when Chris decided to leave. He offered to help Eddie find a new place to live in El Paso. He was present for nearly every showing of his place to find a subletter— this one is actually ridiculous, like there's no way those folks didn't think they were together. And the big one, he chose to give up his apartment to sublease Eddie's house so that Eddie could leave without worrying about expenses. The entire episode we see him struggle with and unintentionally sabotage Eddie's move. The last thing he wants is for another person to leave him, but he willingly and happily put what Eddie and Chris needed over what he wanted in the end. It is one of the most selfless and loving things he could do and he did it.
One of the key similarities that I've noticed between Eddie's relationships with Shannon and Buck is what they get into their most heated arguments about. In both of these relationships, the big fights that each pair has centers around the other person leaving and how that effects them and Chris. Yes, Buck ready has pre-established abandonment issues, but Eddie's issues with other people leaving really only come up in the context of his romantic partners and how them leaving will affect his son. For Eddie and Shannon, it was Eddie running away from his responsibilities as a husband and father twice by enlisting in the army and Shannon doing the same once he came back into their lives. When she attempts to re-enter their lives, the main point of contention is whether or not she'll even stay if Eddie allows her back in. Ultimately, she does decide to leave once she's back in their lives, if only temporarily, to find out who she is as a person independent of her role as a wife and mother when she realizes she's not ready, and I don't blame her for that. But then she dies and that loss is permanent. Eddie doesn't get closure until he meets Kim and gets to say how he feels. How hurt he is that Shannon left seemingly without any consideration for him. She left a note for their son, but left nothing for him and that is devastating. His first major fight with Buck is over the lawsuit. All three of them are forced into a situation where they cannot be in contact because of Buck's decisions, and their confrontation over it is one of the few times we see Eddie so visibly upset. It's not exactly a "leaving" situation per se, but the outcome is similar. Eddie cannot contact his best friend for help, with his own personal issues and with what's going on with Chris. They both miss him; it feels like he left them and Buck made the choice to put them in that position when he didn't have to. The second time they have a big fight, it's over Eddie leaving. More specifically, over Eddie's perceived lack of care about Buck's feelings on the matter. And I say perceived because he obviously does care, it does matter to him that he's leaving his best friend behind. But he can't fully acknowledge to what extent he does and he won't allow himself to because his feelings come secondary to what he thinks he needs to do as a father. I feel I should also note that despite Buck's abandonment issues, it is so telling how he acts in response to Eddie leaving vs how the rest of the 118 act. They all consider Eddie family just as much as Buck, but the degree to which he's crashing out over it would suggest to me that there's more to their relationship than they realize. The proposed scenario with the Buck doppelganger is meant to be the moment where he finally allows himself to be fully, completely honest with himself about what he feels, what he wouldn't say. And in the aftermath, he has to reckon with what that means for him, for Chris, and his relationship with Buck.
Another things of note when it comes to Eddie's relationships: Every time we see Eddie in a relationship with a woman, we often see him run away from it or sabotage the relationship when things start to get more serious. They never work out because there is always something wrong on his end. By contrast, Buck and Eddie are both actively struggling with Eddie leaving. Neither one of them wants him to leave and that is apparent with the shift we see in their behavior. Idk maybe we'll get a gay Eddie storyline. To me it seems like the most logical endpoint for his character. I mean, the guy literally said that he feels like he needs to "perform" when he's out on dates with women... Plus, Tommy did essentially imply that he clocked him in the most recent episode and if there's anyone I'm gonna trust to know he isn't straight, it's the openly gay man who also repressed his feelings for men for decades and almost married a woman.
Tldr; all this to say, Shannon was Eddie's first love and Buck will be his last.
Do I think any of this is actually gonna happen in the show? No, I highly doubt it. But it was a fun little thought experiment about how I think this scenario would play out. I know this is ridiculously long, so if you read to the end, thank you!
JLH is going to be giving us one of her best performances to date. Maddie is going to be an absolute badass and finds a way to get herself out.
I am generally not a fan of physical violence, especially depictions of men hitting women, but I think Chimney should be allowed to get (1) hit in on Amber when he realizes she was the one to take Maddie
For the love of all things good, please no miscarriage storyline as a consequence of whatever this woman is going to do to Maddie. I need this to be a happy pregnancy, and they welcome another little girl into the family that they name Joy. Please and thank you
Buck crashes out about potentially losing another person he loves AGAIN
The 118 comforting Buck and Chim and reassuring them that Maddie will be okay and that they'll find her
Chimney struggling with knowing what to do and how to talk to their daughter about mommy being missing
This is one thing I saw mentioned by another creator, and I love the idea: Jee-Yun, being the only other person home at the time, may hold the key to finding Maddie in some way.
Buck and Chimney teaming up with Athena to find Maddie
NO MADDIE NDE PLEASE
Buck is going to help Eddie pack for his move to El Paso
Eddie is going to give Buck his couch. I might spontaneously combust with this one. Honestly, though, if they don't do this, it feels like the couch talk was for nothing. If it happens, I would also like this silent moment after Eddie offers Buck the couch where they both kinda recognize what it means, but neither one is ready to acknowledge it out loud.
I feel like the goodbye scene between Buck and Eddie is going to be shot and cut in such a way that it is a direct parallel to his goodbye scene with Abby.
Buck will go back to Eddie's place– his place– and will probably end up drinking a beer alone and crying on the couch :(
One thing I am really curious about if (when) Buddie goes canon, is how they are going to handle the "Telling Chrisopher" conversation.
Is Eddie going to decide to have a heart-to-heart with Chris before he ever confesses his feelings for Buck because he wants to make sure his son is okay with it/he has his blessing to date again? Or are Buck and Eddie doing to get together, and then they have to navigate the dilemma of when/how to tell Chris?
I think either option presents so many interesting possibilities. Given Eddie's track record with dating/how he has approached the dating conversation with Christopher in the past, the latter option seems more in line with what he has done previously but the former is not necessarily out of the question considering just how royally he fucked up with his last relationship. Sooo here are my thoughts about how each one could pan out.
Pre-realtionship heart-to-heart option:
Positive reaction— Chris is totally cool with it. He loves Buck, and maybe even at one point thought they were together or would be good together but never said anything (little bit of wishful thinking here on my part, but I am a sucker for Chris secretly wanting Buck to be his second dad). Maybe he even helps his dad plan out how he's gonna confess his feelings. I swear to God if Eddie goes for some kind of grand gesture I want to see Chris involved in some way. I will be reduced to tears if that happens. Probably the best outcome, definitely a better outcome than Eddie would expect.
Negative reaction— Chris freaks out. Not because he has a problem with his dad wanting to be with a man, but because Eddie has a terrible track record with dating– which Chris has already been very hurt by– and because it's Buck. His dad has a nasty habit of bringing another person into their family unit and ruining it when things seem to be going well and Chris has gotten used to them being in his life. Now it's someone Chris has a well-established, deeply meaningful bond with, and he will not let his father ruin that. Not an ideal reaction, but realistic given past discussions between Christopher and Eddie about his dating decisions. I could see the aftermath of this going one of two ways:
Prompts further discussion and reassurance from Eddie about why this time will be different– His past relationships had less to do with what Eddie himself wanted but what he thought Chris wanted or what he thought would be best for him (having a mom). He was pushing aside his own happiness and desires to become a version of himself that could be deemed a "good father" and a "proper man", at least by his parent's standards. But he doesn't want to do that anymore. He doesn't have to hold himself to someone else's standards to prove he can be a good father or man. He wants to be the best version of himself, to allow himself to experience the joy he has been denying for so long so that he can show up better for his son. Chris tentatively gives his dad permission to date Buck if he wants, but if he screws it up like he fears Eddie will, Chris will not forgive him for it.
Given Chris' reaction and his strong desire to fix his relationship with his son, he, once again, decides to prioritize what Chris wants. This might lead him to forgo dating altogether for a while or to try dating other people to get over his feelings for Buck (obviously, this doesn't work). To make matters worse, once they move back to LA (before or after this convo) they have to deal with the fact that Buck is going to be living with them for the foreseeable future until he's able to find a new apartment. Cue insufferable amounts of pining from both of them. At some point, Christopher is gonna realize that they are both crazy about each other and he's had about enough of the longing looks and his dad moping around. He'll finally give Eddie the go-ahead with a warning that he better not screw it up.
Post-relationship dilemma option:
Positive reaction– I imagine the convo would be quite similar to the one in the heart-to-heart option with some differences, such as a discussion about how long they have been together, why they didn't tell him sooner, what this means for their family, etc. I think it would be funny if Chris already knew or suspected bc they might have been oblivious to their own feelings, but literally no one else is.
Negative Reaction– Again, I think this would prompt a similar reaction to what would happen in the negative heart-to-heart scenario, with the first outcome being likely to occur. I don't think they would necessarily break up over this, but that they would give Chris some time and space before discussing the situation further and giving him as much reassurance as he needs that everything will be okay. I can see Buck being the person to approach him first to talk about it since he is usually the one Chris turns to when he's upset with Eddie. It could be a slow process, but eventually Chris is fine with it and is happy that his dad and Buck found happiness in each other.
Secret Third Option– They don't tell him, maybe he doesn't suspect a thing, he catches them together before they get a chance to say anything. Chris' reaction to this one could probably fit either of these potential neg/pos reactions and be further complicated by whether or not Buck and Eddie know that he saw them doing romantic coupley shit. I do think it would be hysterical for them not to notice him when he catches on; he'll starts dropping hints that he knows and waits for it to finally click that they aren't as secretive as they thought they were. They eventually catch on and admit they are in love and live happily ever after as a family.
Either way, all options lead to Buddie canon with a happy ending for all three of them because I said so.