Christopher Diaz - Blog Posts

eddie diaz really spent a whole episode saying i told my son he can do anything he sets his mind to and i still want to believe that but as he grows up im so scared hes going to get hurt because he charges into untested situations so confidently. but i want him to keep believing in himself. and everyone around him said “hmm you should accept your son has limited options for his future and help him realize one of those safe and easy goals instead :)” and ONLY EVAN BUCKLEY said “thats STUPID chris CAN do anything everyone else shut the fuck up forever if youre just going to waste the vibes” and then he spent the rest of the episode offscreen building/buying christopher a massive accessible skateboarding rig and both eddie and christopher got to keep the power of belief in determination because he said nope. you two are right. keep going im right here with you

The Art of Forgetting

Event: Angstpril 2025, hosted by: @chaos-company

Prompt: Day 1: Forgotten

Fandom: 9-1-1

Ship/Romantic Attachment: Eddie Diaz/Evan "Buck" Buckley | Buddie

Rating: T

A little back posting because I definitely only found this event today \(^.^)/

To the world it was supposed to be a beautiful, cloudy Tuesday morning. To Eddie and Christopher, it was something completely different. The atmosphere felt heavy, and like gravity was pushing down on their lungs. Christopher had lost something, and it was so tangible that Eddie felt the melancholy of the moment.

They had both lost something, and Eddie, for the life of him, couldn't remember anything that he used to find comfort in. The way that Buck’s smile would crinkle in the corners of his eyes, and how light his laugh sounded. Most of the time it could be mistaken for a chorus flying on the wings of the Southeastern wind.

No matter how many people told him it was the wrong choice, he hadn’t left El Paso. He never went back to Los Angeles to rejoin the 118 firehouse. Now, it was too late, and everyone moved on. Everyone. Including.

Baby blue eyes that could smash any wall that Eddie had ever dreamed to build around his heart. But ten years later.

Ten years later, he was starting to lose touch.

Those crows feet around Buck’s eyes were softening out into a bleary view. His voice starting to fade into ether where Eddie knew he couldn’t follow. Some days Eddie had to pinch himself to remember that his name was Evan Buckley, not just the frat boy nickname he picked to be called. And Christopher. He knew that something was wrong.

They had moved during such a turbulent time that Eddie knew that Chris felt the empty space that’s only coincidentally Buck-shaped. A good parent, would make sure Buck doesn’t stay forgotten in his son’s mind—or a figment of his imagination. A heartbroken man, however, will continue to live in the fantasy his son created where they never lost their other half.

It was too late to call. Or, to try and re-forge the bonds he already threw away. 

He put his phone down, and tried to close his eyes. It’s better to just sleep away the pain before he could drown in it.

You know I cannot get over the whole Will thing. But do you think that Buck knows what Eddie was really doing there in that moment???

Cause Eddie was literally handing Buck his heart, in the form of his son the most important thing in his life. But does Buck know that Eddie was handing him his still beating heart and telling him to be careful with it.

Or does Buck think that his just the backup. That Eddie was giving him everything he wants, the family he’s dreamed off, but with the condition that he loses the love of his life, the condition that Eddie dies. Do you think it hurts him to think that Eddie will only consider him good enough to parent Christopher if he’s gone? Or do you think it amazes him to know he’s trusted with Christopher when Eddies gone, over literally everyone else?

I just want them to talk about the Will and the shooting. Please…

You know what I find whack is that Eddie- doesn’t trust just anyone with his son-Diaz not only made his best friend, of not even a year, the legal guardian of his son should he die, but also said that ‘there was none else he’d trust with his son’.

Like what type of repressed BS is this!!

Eddie literally handed Buck his son, when he could barely trust Ana or Shannon (Christophers mother) with Chris but he trusted Buck after a few months of knowing him.

let's talk about chrisbuck reunion. can we talk about chrisbuck reunion please? I've been dying to talk about chrisbuck reunion

i have talked about this before. but it is legitimately fucking insane to me that a guy gets shot. and because the guy is a single dad, his best friend steps up to take care of his kid and keep him on his schedule while his dad's in the hospital recovering, stays at his house and sleeps on the couch and takes the kid to school etc etc. normal! cool, normal, extremely generous, lovely best friend behavior. but then when the guy wakes up, the best friend says: i should have held it together better, i was really struggling and i broke down in front of your son, and i just think it would have been better for him if i had been the one to get shot. which – this is an objectively true statement. for anyone normal, yes; that is a gut punch of a sentiment, and it is heartbreaking to hear buck say it out loud, but it is objectively true for anyone normal that it would be better for a child if his dad's best friend got shot vs his only living parent getting shot. you know? like that is not an insane thing to say, even in the context of all of everything between them. but then the dad – AND THE NARRATIVE OF THE SHOW – says no actually, you're wrong. it wouldn't have been better. it would have been the same; it would have had the same effect on my son if you had been the one to get shot. you matter to me, and you matter to him, and you are an important enough part of both of our lives that i have you written into my living will. i have an advance directive that says, in the case of my death, i want you to gain custody of my son. you, my best friend, and not my own parents or my aunt or my grandmother or either of my sisters. you. and you stepping up like this proved that i was right. and I cannot stress enough how insane it is that not only do the characters believe this, but the ACTUAL NARRATIVE OF THE SHOW agrees with them and backs them up and says: this is the reality of the situation. like!!!!

does everyone remember that one scene where there's an argument about good cop/bad cop parenting and buck and eddie are just sort of standing off to the side. and when someone is like "can't you just both be the good cop" to the parents who were arguing, buck and eddie are (in unison) like Noooo and everyone literally stops saving some guy's life to turn and stare at them. and they don't appear to realize they've said anything strange. okay. so i am rotating that in my mind and i am thinking about how easy it is to assume that buck would be the Good Cop parent in chris's life because it would be easier for him to be the fun dad especially at first when he doesn't have as much of an established role yet. and this is largely true (ie that time eddie has to give buck the You'd Better Back Me Up look when chris is grounded from playing video games or whatever; and btw the implications of that in the sense of like....... eddie expecting buck to back him up. and the idea of buck being empowered to Not back him up if he wanted to. and chris instinctively knowing this enough to do the "one parent said no so i'm going to ask the other parent" thing that kids do. anyway.) Anyway. i think it is largely true that buck is the fun dad but i also think he is sometimes the serious dad. like he is the one who half the time has the Big Talks with chris when something is going on in their family. and also he is definitely the one who made chris eat his vegetables when he was a kid. because eddie is much quicker to say okay :) let's order pizza. when he doesn't feel like cooking. and buck gives him a Look and eddie is like UGH fine. we'll order a salad with the pizza and chris you'll eat some of it. or else. and then proceed to not actually make him eat it. idk. they're a family. yay.

Buckley-Diaz Family: Dear Theodosia by Lin-Manuel Miranda

“Who kisses who first” “who pursues who” “who realizes first” you’re all wrong. Who is the first one to call Christopher “our son”

buck also accidentally putting chris through it

they're living together when they go on their first date but buck is dead set on doing it right. it has to be perfect. it's eddie. it's the rest of his life. he has to make it perfect. and also a little bit silly. because that's them! they've done all the heavy stuff couples have, now they get this light little first step which is heavy in its own way but it's them. so they get ready together in their house and it's totally normal and fine and neither of them are freaking out about what to wear because they're too busy ogling the other until suddenly buck just vanishes. eddie hears the front door open and close and he's just kind of stood in his room clueless and then there's a knock on the front door and eddie opens it and buck is there with flowers he'd stashed in his truck and eddie is blushing and rolling his eyes and laughing all at once and buck kisses his cheek and asks if he's ready to go and eddie says just gimme a sec to put these flowers in some water and buck nods and tells him his carriage awaits and it's so dumb but eddie loves him so much and buck loves the way eddie laughs at him when he's ridiculous. and the date goes. well, it goes a bit awkwardly at first but they settle into it quick and they share a dessert and buck pays and then they drive home. and buck walks eddie up to the door and says i had a really good time tonight and eddie says yeah me too and because he's caught onto the game buck's playing he beats him to the punch and leans back against the door with a cheeky little grin and asks if buck wants to come in for a nightcap and buck blushes and says i really shouldn't, don't want you to get the wrong impression and eddie raises his eyebrows and says we're ending tonight in the same bed anyway and buck goes ooh confident i like it and eddie rolls his eyes and buck leans in to kiss him just a chaste quick thing and whispers goodnight eddie against his mouth and then he's walking down the driveway as eddie reboots and eddie will shout buck get your ass home. now.

s08e11 parallels: maddie & jee x eddie & christopher

This is what happens when I read too many girldad!Buck fics. And this isn't even all.

I DONT LIKE THIS I REALLY DONT LIKE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I never would have guessed that a wee woo show would end up being my comfort show.

Eddie Diaz is so mastermind coded it's crazy

Okay, but imagine this: Eddie feelings realization brought about through another lookalike/doppelganger storyline. I know this sounds out-there, but considering the whole Shannon/Kim storyline was an actual thing that existed in the show— and we know how much the writers love doing parallels and they've been doing some very fanfiction-esque stoylines with 8b— I don't think this is completely outside the realm of possibility so stay with me on this completely ridiculous stream of thought for a bit.

Now I was not and am still not really a fan of the whole Shannon/Kim doppelganger storyline but I think if they did it again in a very specific way with a Buck doppelganger it would be so interesting. With the Shannon/Kim doppelganger, the importance of it is for Eddie to finally get closure for himself. To say the things he never got a chance to say to her so he could move on from that relationship. I think a Buck doppelganger can also be used as a way for Eddie to say all the things he couldn't say to Buck before he left. Only, this doesn't serve the purpose of Eddie finding closure and moving on, but as a catalyst for him realizing the full extent of his feelings.

In the present day, Eddie finds himself back in his hometown— a place he tried so hard to run away from— to be there for his son. He built an entire life for himself back in LA and now he's gonna have to start all over again. So he puts himself out there, attempting to meet new people and make new friends. In the process, he ends up meeting a man who looks and sounds a little too much like his best friend. And he knows it's a bad idea; he has had to live with the reality of just how bad an idea this is for months following what happened with Kim. But he misses his best friend so bad. Sure, they talk and do video calls to stay in touch, but it's not the same. He's not there with him in El Paso being a consistent presence in his life, and he feels so lonely without that presence. So he befriends this Buck doppelganger. They hit it off and start to spend more and more time together, and eventually, either Eddie decides to come clean or Buck's doppelganger finds out about his resemblance to Eddie's best friend, prompting Eddie to explain the whole situation and apologize for lying.

Maybe at this point, his Buck had already gone through his 8x11 storyline. He's already been confronted with the idea that his feelings for Eddie aren't platonic, and he's doing everything to push that train of thought aside. He can't entertain the idea that he is in love with his straight best friend, as he likes to say. He needs to distance himself from whatever feelings might be there. Which also includes distancing himself from Eddie. He doesn't answer his calls as much, doesn't make an effort to reach out, finds other distractions so he has an excuse for why he wasn't available to talk, etc. And it's driving Eddie crazy. He's never felt so disconnected from Buck, and it's starting to have an effect on his ability to function at this point.

So when Eddie tells him all this and Buck's doppelganger asks him what he would say to him right now if he could, Eddie throws all caution to the wind.

He says all the things he's been wanting to say, even the things he didn't know he wanted to say. He tells him how sorry he is for leaving. That he knows how deep Buck's abandonment issues run and how painful it is to have another person in his life leave him. How much he would give to have been able to stay and spare him that hurt. Hell, the thought of asking Buck to leave with him had even crossed his mind more than once, but how could he ever ask that of him? Los Angeles was his home. The 118 were his family. He built a stable foundation for himself that he'd never had throughout most of his life. Eddie wasn't going to be the one to take a wrecking ball to that stable foundation. As much as Eddie would like to be, he isn't worthy of that kind of consideration. Who would throw their entire life away to be with him? He would never ask him to make that choice. Just as he knows Buck was never asking Eddie to make a choice between him and Chris. But Eddie felt like that was what he was doing at the time— making a choice between what he wanted and what was best for his son. A choice had to be made whether he liked it or not, and he would always choose his son. But, if pressed on it, he would have to admit that if the choice were between Buck and anyone else? Buck would win every single time. He would say that he missed him and he wanted him to be a constant in his life again, in both their lives again. That the distance being put between them, both literal and figurative, was killing him.

And as he's listening to this— to his newfound friend pouring his heart out to him like he's his best friend— Buck's doppelganger makes the realization that everyone else in their lives has, waits for Eddie to finish what he has to say, and says to him:

"Wow. You must really love him."

And that is the moment. Eddie hears those words, processes them, thinks about everything he just said, everything they had been through together, and realizes.

Oh.

That's what this thing between them has been. That's what all this heartache and loneliness and panic he's been experiencing in the last few weeks has been about.

"Yeah, I do."

And this realization does not just magically fix everything. It's a starting point. He still has to work through what happened with Chris, and this revelation may be a central point to helping him get there. Because it forces him to examine everything about his life up to this point. His relationship with Buck, his relationship with his family, his relationship with Shannon, his relationships with women and his sexuality in general, and his relationship with religion. And once he does all of that, he can make the decision to choose something different, for himself and for Chris. They can reconcile. They can move back to LA, back to their found family with the 118 and Buck. He can love his best friend and choose to make him a part of their family.

I also like the idea of doing a parallel between Shannon and Buck as love interests for Eddie because I do think their relationships share similarities despite all of their differences.

Despite the fact that I do absolutely think Eddie loved Shannon, I do not think he was ever really in love with her. He had a genuine care and love for her, yes, but so much of that care and love was tied up in her relationship to him as the mother of his child, not just as his wife. Her relationship with Eddie will always be a part of who he is, undoubtedly. She was a friend to him, someone he loved, the first person he was ever intimate with, his wife, and the mother of his son. She played so many important roles in his life, and she can be all of those things and still not be the love of his life, nor even someone he necessarily loved in a romantic sense at all. Because they were still just kids when they got together and had Chris. They were still trying to figure out who they were and what they wanted to do with their lives when they got pregnant and rushed into marriage and parenthood. All the decisions that followed that were messy and difficult and their relationship shifted completely overnight. Would they have ever gotten married if they didn't have Christopher? My guess is probably not, but we'll never know for sure. When Kim says to Eddie "I guess she was the love of your life," he doesn't say, "she was," he says, "I think she was." He knows he loved her, but he is unsure if she was ever "the one". In hindsight, I think he looks back on their relationship with rose-colored glasses a lot of the time. He talks about how they were together as if the glimpses we saw of them constantly fighting and leaving each other and avoiding big conversations never happened or weren't as prevalent. They did love each other, but they did not love each other in the ways that either one of them deserved.

Compare that with Eddie's relationship with Buck, and I would argue he has played all of these same roles in Eddie's life that Shannon did, but in a much more harmonious and stable way. He's also the only other character to take on all of these roles in Eddie's life to the extent that he does. They are best friends, they love each other, Buck has become a parental figure of sorts for Chris and would legally be his guardian if anything happened to Eddie, and he has a closeness with Eddie and has done things for him/with him that romantic partners often do. Despite their rocky beginning, they became fast and inseparable friends. They've had each other's backs through nearly every single trial and tribulation that they've faced for the past 7 years. Buck seamlessly fit into both Eddie and Chris' lives as well, all three of them spending so much quality time together. They have been mistaken for a couple before. Buck heard that Eddie was struggling with childcare for Chris and provided a solution without needing to be asked. He helped Eddie find a solution to accommodate Chris' disability when he wanted to try skateboarding. He fought like hell to try to keep Chris safe when the tsunami hit. Whenever they've had major accidents/NDE's in the line of work, they are always each other's primary concern. Eddie made the decision on his own to change his will to make Buck Christopher's legal guardian if anything happened to him, and he is unwavering in his conviction that he would be the only other person besides himself that would fight like hell to make sure Chris has everything he wants and needs. Which could mean nothing, but as a single dad, Eddie's main concern when it comes to dating and marriage has to be how it will affect his son; what kind of parent would the other person be to him? Buck was there for Chris when Eddie got shot. He was the first person Chris ran to when he was angry with Eddie. He was there for both of them when Eddie went through his breakdown. He was there for Eddie when Chris decided to leave. He offered to help Eddie find a new place to live in El Paso. He was present for nearly every showing of his place to find a subletter— this one is actually ridiculous, like there's no way those folks didn't think they were together. And the big one, he chose to give up his apartment to sublease Eddie's house so that Eddie could leave without worrying about expenses. The entire episode we see him struggle with and unintentionally sabotage Eddie's move. The last thing he wants is for another person to leave him, but he willingly and happily put what Eddie and Chris needed over what he wanted in the end. It is one of the most selfless and loving things he could do and he did it.

One of the key similarities that I've noticed between Eddie's relationships with Shannon and Buck is what they get into their most heated arguments about. In both of these relationships, the big fights that each pair has centers around the other person leaving and how that effects them and Chris. Yes, Buck ready has pre-established abandonment issues, but Eddie's issues with other people leaving really only come up in the context of his romantic partners and how them leaving will affect his son. For Eddie and Shannon, it was Eddie running away from his responsibilities as a husband and father twice by enlisting in the army and Shannon doing the same once he came back into their lives. When she attempts to re-enter their lives, the main point of contention is whether or not she'll even stay if Eddie allows her back in. Ultimately, she does decide to leave once she's back in their lives, if only temporarily, to find out who she is as a person independent of her role as a wife and mother when she realizes she's not ready, and I don't blame her for that. But then she dies and that loss is permanent. Eddie doesn't get closure until he meets Kim and gets to say how he feels. How hurt he is that Shannon left seemingly without any consideration for him. She left a note for their son, but left nothing for him and that is devastating. His first major fight with Buck is over the lawsuit. All three of them are forced into a situation where they cannot be in contact because of Buck's decisions, and their confrontation over it is one of the few times we see Eddie so visibly upset. It's not exactly a "leaving" situation per se, but the outcome is similar. Eddie cannot contact his best friend for help, with his own personal issues and with what's going on with Chris. They both miss him; it feels like he left them and Buck made the choice to put them in that position when he didn't have to. The second time they have a big fight, it's over Eddie leaving. More specifically, over Eddie's perceived lack of care about Buck's feelings on the matter. And I say perceived because he obviously does care, it does matter to him that he's leaving his best friend behind. But he can't fully acknowledge to what extent he does and he won't allow himself to because his feelings come secondary to what he thinks he needs to do as a father. I feel I should also note that despite Buck's abandonment issues, it is so telling how he acts in response to Eddie leaving vs how the rest of the 118 act. They all consider Eddie family just as much as Buck, but the degree to which he's crashing out over it would suggest to me that there's more to their relationship than they realize. The proposed scenario with the Buck doppelganger is meant to be the moment where he finally allows himself to be fully, completely honest with himself about what he feels, what he wouldn't say. And in the aftermath, he has to reckon with what that means for him, for Chris, and his relationship with Buck.

Another things of note when it comes to Eddie's relationships: Every time we see Eddie in a relationship with a woman, we often see him run away from it or sabotage the relationship when things start to get more serious. They never work out because there is always something wrong on his end. By contrast, Buck and Eddie are both actively struggling with Eddie leaving. Neither one of them wants him to leave and that is apparent with the shift we see in their behavior. Idk maybe we'll get a gay Eddie storyline. To me it seems like the most logical endpoint for his character. I mean, the guy literally said that he feels like he needs to "perform" when he's out on dates with women... Plus, Tommy did essentially imply that he clocked him in the most recent episode and if there's anyone I'm gonna trust to know he isn't straight, it's the openly gay man who also repressed his feelings for men for decades and almost married a woman.

Tldr; all this to say, Shannon was Eddie's first love and Buck will be his last.

Do I think any of this is actually gonna happen in the show? No, I highly doubt it. But it was a fun little thought experiment about how I think this scenario would play out. I know this is ridiculously long, so if you read to the end, thank you!

One thing I am really curious about if (when) Buddie goes canon, is how they are going to handle the "Telling Chrisopher" conversation.

Is Eddie going to decide to have a heart-to-heart with Chris before he ever confesses his feelings for Buck because he wants to make sure his son is okay with it/he has his blessing to date again? Or are Buck and Eddie doing to get together, and then they have to navigate the dilemma of when/how to tell Chris?

I think either option presents so many interesting possibilities. Given Eddie's track record with dating/how he has approached the dating conversation with Christopher in the past, the latter option seems more in line with what he has done previously but the former is not necessarily out of the question considering just how royally he fucked up with his last relationship. Sooo here are my thoughts about how each one could pan out.

Pre-realtionship heart-to-heart option:

Positive reaction— Chris is totally cool with it. He loves Buck, and maybe even at one point thought they were together or would be good together but never said anything (little bit of wishful thinking here on my part, but I am a sucker for Chris secretly wanting Buck to be his second dad). Maybe he even helps his dad plan out how he's gonna confess his feelings. I swear to God if Eddie goes for some kind of grand gesture I want to see Chris involved in some way. I will be reduced to tears if that happens. Probably the best outcome, definitely a better outcome than Eddie would expect.

Negative reaction— Chris freaks out. Not because he has a problem with his dad wanting to be with a man, but because Eddie has a terrible track record with dating– which Chris has already been very hurt by– and because it's Buck. His dad has a nasty habit of bringing another person into their family unit and ruining it when things seem to be going well and Chris has gotten used to them being in his life. Now it's someone Chris has a well-established, deeply meaningful bond with, and he will not let his father ruin that. Not an ideal reaction, but realistic given past discussions between Christopher and Eddie about his dating decisions. I could see the aftermath of this going one of two ways:

Prompts further discussion and reassurance from Eddie about why this time will be different– His past relationships had less to do with what Eddie himself wanted but what he thought Chris wanted or what he thought would be best for him (having a mom). He was pushing aside his own happiness and desires to become a version of himself that could be deemed a "good father" and a "proper man", at least by his parent's standards. But he doesn't want to do that anymore. He doesn't have to hold himself to someone else's standards to prove he can be a good father or man. He wants to be the best version of himself, to allow himself to experience the joy he has been denying for so long so that he can show up better for his son. Chris tentatively gives his dad permission to date Buck if he wants, but if he screws it up like he fears Eddie will, Chris will not forgive him for it.

Given Chris' reaction and his strong desire to fix his relationship with his son, he, once again, decides to prioritize what Chris wants. This might lead him to forgo dating altogether for a while or to try dating other people to get over his feelings for Buck (obviously, this doesn't work). To make matters worse, once they move back to LA (before or after this convo) they have to deal with the fact that Buck is going to be living with them for the foreseeable future until he's able to find a new apartment. Cue insufferable amounts of pining from both of them. At some point, Christopher is gonna realize that they are both crazy about each other and he's had about enough of the longing looks and his dad moping around. He'll finally give Eddie the go-ahead with a warning that he better not screw it up.

Post-relationship dilemma option:

Positive reaction– I imagine the convo would be quite similar to the one in the heart-to-heart option with some differences, such as a discussion about how long they have been together, why they didn't tell him sooner, what this means for their family, etc. I think it would be funny if Chris already knew or suspected bc they might have been oblivious to their own feelings, but literally no one else is.

Negative Reaction– Again, I think this would prompt a similar reaction to what would happen in the negative heart-to-heart scenario, with the first outcome being likely to occur. I don't think they would necessarily break up over this, but that they would give Chris some time and space before discussing the situation further and giving him as much reassurance as he needs that everything will be okay. I can see Buck being the person to approach him first to talk about it since he is usually the one Chris turns to when he's upset with Eddie. It could be a slow process, but eventually Chris is fine with it and is happy that his dad and Buck found happiness in each other.

Secret Third Option– They don't tell him, maybe he doesn't suspect a thing, he catches them together before they get a chance to say anything. Chris' reaction to this one could probably fit either of these potential neg/pos reactions and be further complicated by whether or not Buck and Eddie know that he saw them doing romantic coupley shit. I do think it would be hysterical for them not to notice him when he catches on; he'll starts dropping hints that he knows and waits for it to finally click that they aren't as secretive as they thought they were. They eventually catch on and admit they are in love and live happily ever after as a family.

Either way, all options lead to Buddie canon with a happy ending for all three of them because I said so.

Kink shaming is okay actually, pro shippers on their way to defend p0rn of a REAL CHILD, what's surprising there. I don't want ANYYY of you telling people pro-shippers are normal and their "fantasies" are okay, they're pedos and only chronically online mf would think otherwise. Christopher is played BY AN ACTUAL child. Out here power scaling which fandom has more pedophiles... bring back shame fr