I Am Not Immune To The Wiggly Doll

every house episode:

house: it’s NOTHING!!! let me sleep and take vicodin

cuddy/wilson: do the case pretty pleaseee

house: ok team do the tests

team: we did the tests

house: all your ideas are stupid put them on the stupid drug and do the illegal treatments

team: ok

team: the PAITIENT IS DYING

house: lol oops

house: (saves patient at last moment using autism magic after causing them, their family, his team, cuddy, and wilson emotional distress)

house: see you all are stupid i am the smartest in the world and i have a motorcycle nananaboonoo

wilson: my wife hates me and i cheat on her

how could you hate these beautiful women😞

“SHAUNA WHERE’S JACKIE’S EAR ???”

Shauna:

just started watching house and I thought yall were exaggerating but no. every episode is just like three wrong diagnoses that almost kill the patient and then house is like "he has underwater skunk herpes" and they give the guy a new butthole and he's cured. and then house chugs vicodin while talking about wanting to rail wilson.

hey coach, sorry we cannibalized your team captain. in our defense, her pregnant gf said that's what she wanted and we are running out of meat rations and our developing bodies need nourishment. no, I get that it was absolutely terrifying to witness teenagers devour their former leader who was a symbol for societal expectation so voraciously and with such excitement, but you gotta understand we're hungry and the wilderness slow-roasted her to perfection. also you're probably next. xo.

is this anything?

karma's real because House gets to be a bitch to everyone all the time and in return he has to get Jesus Christ level of torturing at the end of every season

Buzz buzz or whatever