MY FRAMA TEACHER HAS MET JAYSON MEWES AND KEVIN SMITH!!!!!

My tea is cold…

Born to be an extrovert, forced to be anxious and overstimulated around people

I am (platonically) down bad for bestie.

I have done some thing. I have never done before.

Stopped watching YouTube, which I can’t watch in picture in picture to play a game with them and I’m not disappointed 

@grey-loves-dragons (love you bestie)

I cut my own hair for the first time and sensory issues went on vacation!!!

Before

After

Any other trans people feel really good about their body at one moment then want to rip their skin of the next

Re watching umbrella academy and I forgot how good it is. IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW SEASON

We went to a show at the fringe and it was a miscasts show and it was so good but now I want to rewatch Chicago and Sweeney Todd

Tw: rant

I love people who try to comfort me when I’m dysphoric but saying shit like you’ll be on t soon or at least you are almost able to get top surgery is not very helpful. Or when people say that once I’m on t it will be better.

I have gender dysphoria, lots of the stuff I’m dysphoric about won’t be fixed when I go on t. Being on t won’t change my interest, being on t won’t change that I’m hyper verbal. Being on t won’t change the size of my hands or my feet

Being on t won’t change that all my friends are either gay or women.

Does any of this stuff make sense to make me dysphoric, no, but it does and saying that going on t will solve the problem is wrong.

I hate having gender dysphoria.

I am a chatty person, I love talking. I am basically hyper verbal. But as soon as I get dysphoric I can’t talk. I hate the way my voice sounds so much. I don’t know how to fix that before going on t and I can’t stand it.

School sucks

It’s Tuesday and so far this week:

Someone had to leave class to puke in my block one class yesterday so of course I had a panic attack (#emetophobia)

I worked myself to death so I could finish mh project for social studies just for him to extende the due date because of 1 group

Math is killing me. I just do not understand one concept and I haven’t had a chance to ask my teacher yet but of course my brain is telling me I’m stupid and should be in the lowest level of math

Physics kind of makes sense but I can’t stand it because that’s different then it should be because I’m bad at physics so I don’t like that it’s different

My plan changed yesterday because I thought I had therapy yesterday but it’s today so I had to change my whole plan for the week

I was late to math yesterday and I didn’t mean to

The hallways are loud and I can’t stand it but I keep forgetting my headphones in my locker

The cafeteria smells like food. It is bad

My mom keeps yelling at me for taking a nap after school. I try not to but if I don’t I can’t do homework

I feel like I’m in a constant state of almost shutting down

⬆️Same thing with not being able to talk

There’s only a week left till a HUGE change which is causing me to only think about that change and not my schoolwork

I have a change in my schedule today as well which I dreading

My mom hasn’t bought the snacks I like so I’m grasping for straws for my lunch

I still don’t know how to regulate myself at school or in general and it’s causing me to freak out

My bus driver plays really loud music