😅 My Thoughts About This Man Are Very Normal I Promise !

It's not like I even hate her she's cool I think she's awesome. I hate this. I hate being like this. I don't like these feelings. I hate it. Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate.

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Rebloged the post my love, I hope it can help.

Hello my dears! I am asking you to support my campaign to help me achieve my goal. I desperately need your support now to help my family survive and be safe. Gaza is a very dangerous place both in terms of livelihood and life. I need your financial support so that I can obtain the basic needs of my family until the Rafah crossing is reopened to transport my family to safety and peace. Please help a family survive through your small donations or through your contributions to others. Thank you very much for standing with the attendees

https://gofund.me/eb1d4499 please 🇵🇸

I can't do much but someone else can, I'll repost it.

I love my boyfriend, I really do. He's probably the healthiest relationship I've had in my life too, but I just.

I'm a very private, introverted, and closed off person. I like my alone time, I don't talk often unless you get me started on things, and I typically don't like people. Tbh I have a hard time being nice to people, including people I love and like.

My boyfriend is very clingy, which is okay, but I don't want him to feel like I'm gonna leave him or get all sad because I want some time alone. Like we're always on call and it's kind of bothering me? Not because it's him, but because I'm technically not having full alone time. I feel guilty because I know he's a very clingy and lovey person, but I really can't be on call with someone for days on end. I love him, but God I need my space.

That and I also am starting to miss being single, because I didn't have to worry about talking to people about my games which usually are romance/character oriented. I feel guilty play these games I have loved for years and use as comfort because I have a boyfriend. Idk.

Like I don't want to leave him but I also can't be surrounded and loved on 24/7. It's not even like we are always talking on call either, it's just the fact I'm not alone that is bothering me sometimes. It's also not all the time that I'm annoyed I'm not alone, more often then not I'm happy to be around him and everything but like when I'm doing my thing and he calls me I get agitated.

It kind of reminds me of when you're doing something and someone interrupts you and you love them but now you're very upset.

Also I want us to take it slow because I do have commitment issues and attachment issues and it kind of feels like we're rushing it at the same time. Like yes, one day in far future I'll marry him (maybe, idk how life will go) but like rn can we just vibe?

I'm also feeling guilty cuz I am in the ace scale (not sure what ace I am but I know I'm ace) and he's a very sexual person while I'm very like. I use it to cope, like a bad coping skill and to deal with stress. Sexual things are kind of something I have a love hate relationship with? Cuz due to trauma I'm a hypersexual and I hate it because I kind of don't want to have sex ever. I mean imagination and fictional stuff I'm all for but I am very neutral and sometimes against doing stuff irl. He even thought that he wasn't satisfying my needs because my ace ass hasn't done anything sexual and honestly didn't want to.

Idk. I personally don't think I'm ready for a relationship at all, honestly I don't think I really need one. I think I'm fine being single and having friends (even though I honestly only have my best friend and a few online friends), a relationship is kind of my last priority. I feel a little bad for that mindset but I'm also borderline poor and have sever health issues plus a lot of trauma I went through recently so like ... Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I still love my boyfriend and I don't plan on leaving him unless he fucks up or I quite literally cannot handle it, I'm just kind of upset or smt?

Maybe I'm just not use to someone being so clingy or so lovey and stuff this early on. It's not bad, he's very sweet and everything, I just don't know if I can handle it. I can barely handle myself. I think maybe it's something wrong with me, maybe I'm just built wrong or something. I adore him but also ugh relationship. Maybe I just need my alone time back and I'll be good? Idk lmao.

I think I just need to make sure we slow down and go at my pace and let him know that I need my alone time and that, as much as I love him, the relationship isn't my highest priority. He's still a priority just not the highest one. I'm number one. So yeah. Idk.

I want to run away from everyone and everything and start new. I don't want to be burdened by this life. I want to be my own new thing. I want to be known by very few that already know me and I want to live in quiet solitude for awhile while I fix the mess I am in. Not isolated but not where I am. Just new. I need to be new in my own way.

I think after graduation I'ma keep a few things and sell/donate the rest and move somewhere and live by myself with a few visitors or smt.

I hate emotions and feelings, I wish to be rid of those retched things. It's too confusing and time wasting.

I just want a mom.