Fanboy-com - TheFanBoy.COM

I hate this place. I hate these people. I want blood. I want violence. I want shouting and aggression. I want them to hurt. I want everyone to scream. They all fucking deserve it. I hate them. How fucking dare these people treat me like this? They need to hurt. I want them gone. I am so done with people. I'm so done being nice and kind and sweet. I'm done being mature. Die. Hurt. Bleed. Cry. Give me the satisfaction of your suffering for what you've done to me. Every last one of them need to feel what I've felt. Every single person I know has hurt me in one way or another or simply pissed me off. The audacity. The fucking gull. Even my friends have pushed me around. I run around making everyone happy trying to please everyone and make sure everyone is comfortable, being mature and keeping myself hidden to make people happy. I'm done. Done. If I make you uncomfortable? Cry. I hurt you? Jump. I'm so tired of making the right choice. Kys. Slit your throat and die. I don't care. I've had enough. You all ALL have pushed me one too many times. You can swallow me then choke on your own pathetic mess of self. I am going to make everyone hate me and fear me because trying to make everyone love me is hell. Everything hurts because of everyone so it's only fair if I return the fucking favor. I want to see their hope dwindle in their eyes. I need them to hurt. God I want them to be knocked off their high horse and feel hopeless. I want them to realize how badly they have fucked me up.

REBLOG IF YOU ACTUALLY READ TAGS

😅 my thoughts about this man are very normal I promise !

Pleeeeeease request lucifer related art and I will (maybe) draw them

i would boop you more but it’s way past my bedtime and i have to wake up early 🤭

Get your beauty sleepy kitten whiskers, we can boop more tomorrow 🤘🏼😎 /silly /POS /p

I love my boyfriend, I really do. He's probably the healthiest relationship I've had in my life too, but I just.

I'm a very private, introverted, and closed off person. I like my alone time, I don't talk often unless you get me started on things, and I typically don't like people. Tbh I have a hard time being nice to people, including people I love and like.

My boyfriend is very clingy, which is okay, but I don't want him to feel like I'm gonna leave him or get all sad because I want some time alone. Like we're always on call and it's kind of bothering me? Not because it's him, but because I'm technically not having full alone time. I feel guilty because I know he's a very clingy and lovey person, but I really can't be on call with someone for days on end. I love him, but God I need my space.

That and I also am starting to miss being single, because I didn't have to worry about talking to people about my games which usually are romance/character oriented. I feel guilty play these games I have loved for years and use as comfort because I have a boyfriend. Idk.

Like I don't want to leave him but I also can't be surrounded and loved on 24/7. It's not even like we are always talking on call either, it's just the fact I'm not alone that is bothering me sometimes. It's also not all the time that I'm annoyed I'm not alone, more often then not I'm happy to be around him and everything but like when I'm doing my thing and he calls me I get agitated.

It kind of reminds me of when you're doing something and someone interrupts you and you love them but now you're very upset.

Also I want us to take it slow because I do have commitment issues and attachment issues and it kind of feels like we're rushing it at the same time. Like yes, one day in far future I'll marry him (maybe, idk how life will go) but like rn can we just vibe?

I'm also feeling guilty cuz I am in the ace scale (not sure what ace I am but I know I'm ace) and he's a very sexual person while I'm very like. I use it to cope, like a bad coping skill and to deal with stress. Sexual things are kind of something I have a love hate relationship with? Cuz due to trauma I'm a hypersexual and I hate it because I kind of don't want to have sex ever. I mean imagination and fictional stuff I'm all for but I am very neutral and sometimes against doing stuff irl. He even thought that he wasn't satisfying my needs because my ace ass hasn't done anything sexual and honestly didn't want to.

Idk. I personally don't think I'm ready for a relationship at all, honestly I don't think I really need one. I think I'm fine being single and having friends (even though I honestly only have my best friend and a few online friends), a relationship is kind of my last priority. I feel a little bad for that mindset but I'm also borderline poor and have sever health issues plus a lot of trauma I went through recently so like ... Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I still love my boyfriend and I don't plan on leaving him unless he fucks up or I quite literally cannot handle it, I'm just kind of upset or smt?

Maybe I'm just not use to someone being so clingy or so lovey and stuff this early on. It's not bad, he's very sweet and everything, I just don't know if I can handle it. I can barely handle myself. I think maybe it's something wrong with me, maybe I'm just built wrong or something. I adore him but also ugh relationship. Maybe I just need my alone time back and I'll be good? Idk lmao.

I think I just need to make sure we slow down and go at my pace and let him know that I need my alone time and that, as much as I love him, the relationship isn't my highest priority. He's still a priority just not the highest one. I'm number one. So yeah. Idk.

Low key thinking I'm not ready for any relationship other than one with a therapist at this point. I need to get my shit together but y'know I have friends a boyfriend and a bunch of complicated feelings plus the burning want of affection. KMS istg.

I want to run away from everyone and everything and start new. I don't want to be burdened by this life. I want to be my own new thing. I want to be known by very few that already know me and I want to live in quiet solitude for awhile while I fix the mess I am in. Not isolated but not where I am. Just new. I need to be new in my own way.

I think we're mutuals lol

Anyways the word I thought of was Ethereal.

@brontekotlcyan and I can't remember my other mutuals names help omfg 😭

Quick ! Think of a word you like ! 

Not necessarily your favorite word, it doesn’t even have to be a word you usually like ! Just a word that right now, at this moment, you look at and think “ooh what about this one”.

It can be a word you find funny, pretty, strange, pure, anything really ! You don’t need to tell me why you choose that word (though I’d love to know if you want to tell me), just give me a word ! 

(It’d be lovely if we made this into a chain but there’s no pressure <3)

oooh um MYTHIC

Yeah.

No pressure: @sleepinginmygrave @thespaceoddities @picklerab23 @hotdamnitsmoony @good-oldfashioned-lover-girl @her-midas-touch @daydream-of-a-wallflower @addsalwayssick @a-beautiful-fool @mxed-salad-greens @vintagetee13 @idk-what-to-put-here-123 and anyone else that wants to

I love this idea <3

HELP 😭

Stranger Sex—

*Sobs incoherently*

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

s3xu@al assault really makes you feel like you’re only good for sex and sending nudes and that the only way to make things right with someone is letting them use your body huh hahahshhdbxnd