And Sometimes We Are Left With No Answers But A Bleeding Heart That Still Refuses To Give Up On Them.

You watch the light leave their eyes. You watch their heart crumble into crimson colored dust. But that's all that you can do. Watch from afar while another bleeds for your warmth.

And then you realise how very cruel fate can be sometimes.

Because there is nothing you wouldn't do to hold them in your hands, there's nothing you'd want more than wiping their tears away. And you'd take away their pain in a heartbeat and replace it with all things beautiful in your life. If only you could.

Sometimes you can love someone so much but not in a way that matters to them. And not in a way that makes sense to you. But still there's love and pain and longing. But it's all wrong and right at the same time.

Sometimes it's painful to love someone. And sometimes it's painful to be loved. And you don't really have a choice with either of them.

So you watch them leave, with a broken heart, and you're left there with an ache in you that'll never really go away.

And in the silence of the night you whisper to no one in particular.

"In another lifetime perhaps...."

There will always be reasons to return.

In the form of old forgotten promises.

Or slow songs filled with a sort of comforting sadness.

Patter of the raindrops will call you back.

Every twinkle of the stars will remind you of home.

Of the heart that awaits yours after all this time.

It's never too late they say.

But it still is too early, says time.

The passing days are a blur of white and gold.

But in the tiredness of the lonely night,

your smile still keeps me warm.

Sometimes I wonder if I have wandered too far,

but then I close my eyes and there you are.

Right beneath my skin and always on my mind.

Space and time may keep us apart,

but still the yearning hearts find ways to be alive.

There's a kind of hope that stems from helplessness.

And everytime I crave your voice, I hope I can hear them in the soft crackle of the summer's fires.

The colors of it seems too much like the shade of your eyes.

It soothes me in this lone journey of mine,

What a pity that I can't hold it in my palm.

But then again fire and water never did get along.

Except maybe for us.

Is that why the stars were aligned like this?

So that I may cross unknown oceans and you may burn in my absence.

But they never anticipated that love might find a way.

Because we did and we always will.

It's getting cold and dark and the sky is full of stars that remind me of your eyes.

Maybe when morning comes I can take my first step back home.

Towards your waiting arms.

And towards our forever.

There's a pool of sadness in my being.

And sometimes I can hear it sing.

An eerie voice lingering long after it ends.

Accompanied by ghostly visions of the past.

Sometimes it sings at dawn.

And sometimes it sings when I am asleep.

But always, always, it sings only when I am alone.

The constant hum has a blue softness.

Almost like the way my smile looks on my tired days.

But on rare days the hum becomes a vibrant violet.

And feels like the shade of the magic in my eyes.

The songs are about the things I hold in my heart.

Like the stories of my childhood times,

and the places where I left pieces of who I am.

But on nights when I can no longer fall asleep,

the songs take on a familiar tune.

They become the whispers of the restless sea,

and the slow crackling of the campfire on the shore.

It brings back the smell of the waves,

the vibrations of their crashing spreading through my bones.

For a brief moment, I become a child again.

Free to laugh and smile,

and free to sleep without the usual accompaniment of nightmares.

Even though all of this is in my head,

simply the long gone moments from my past,

the ghostly visions are what keeps me sane.

Reminding me that not always will life be so blue.

And that blue is not always so sad.

Knowing this, the pool of sadness sings on and on.

The humming taking on a sweeter tone.

© Moonyloonywitch

Do you know how it feels to hold your happiness in your hands and watch it swirl there in a pool of golden light before the night comes and snatches it away from your bleeding hands only to leave you wondering why it suddenly feels like your throat is burning when all you ever did was take a sip from your lover's lips ?

What about the ones who don't figure it out? Do they splash around in love till someone comes along and save them? Or do they drown slowly, regretting that they fell in love? I wish we knew how deep the waters were before we decide to dive in. I wish we knew how much it hurts when you try to breathe underwater.

“Some people don’t know how to fall in love, like not knowing how to swim. They panic first when they jump in. Then they figure it out.”

— Sarah Addison Allen

I don't know what to do with all this love in my heart now, because it was all for your and now that you've made it clear that you don't need my affection, I find it difficult to keep these feelings in the same place for fear that they may get mixed up again and instead of letting go I'll accidentally hold onto you forever.

I don't think I'll fall in love again.

Not after seeing you like this.

The most painful thing that ever happened to me was you.

You exist,

but you're not mine.

And it drives me insane in ways that I never even dared to dream.

I can't unlove you.

And I can't unsee you.

I am stuck knowing that you're out there,

but that you'll never be mine.

The only thing I can do now is sleep,

hoping I'll see you in my dreams.

I'll gladly wait for night to come,

if you'll be mine atleast in the nightmares I have at dawn.

In that unnamed hour of existence,

between the moments of night and day,

maybe I can finally call you mine.

There is no escape.

You can't run away from your mind.

From how you look and who you are.

But like the sky, you will never be blue all the time.

Like the sky, there are colours in you that are beautiful.

You have your own winters and springs,

Your own dawn and dusk.

Stars in your laugh and moonlight in your eyes.

Like the sky, you're the comfort to someone somewhere.

This is the moment you have to realise, being you is fine.

Because like the sky, you hold so much beauty and comfort.

There is no escape

Not for you

Not from yourself

The idea of escaping yourself is an illusion

This is the moment when you have to realize, life is made to be faced

Not to be hidden from

Because like the sky, it will never let you out of sight

Like the sky it will envelope you from all sides

And like the sky when you least expect it, life will come crashing down

Words fall from my fingertips,

in hopes that they can catch the dreams in my heart.

Because the expanse that my life is,

will not be enough to keep them alive.

So I let the words flow,

and when I can't go on anymore,

I rest my hand and dream again.

And hope to see you once more there,

where everything is as I always imagined.

Love is sometimes not what we expect.

I don't remember the exact day I fell in love.

But when you get late, I worry.

My brain tells me it's fine,

that you're probably stuck in traffic.

But my heart don't seem to understand.

It doesn't let me breathe.

My heart does not know the reasons or distances.

It only knows your absence.

And when mine doesn't find your heart to beat alongside,

It dies a little bit everytime.