I Am Having A Very Rough Week Mentally And Physically. I've Also Been Overeating Every Day And So That

Finally sat and watched a movie again. The First Omen. Was pretty good, but those graphic birth scenes... wow. As someone who has an aversion to blood, they really got me throwing up over here.

I've seen the original Omen, but maybe I should rewatch it?

In my restless dreams, I see that town.

Happy birthday! I hope it's a good one.

Thank you! I will do my best to have a great day! 💟 Also, thank you for sharing all of your wonderful characters, thoughts, and likes with us! I love seeing you on my Tumblr dash!

It is December 26th, 2024 and I have fully filled two journals I've owned since at least 2019. From front to back they are filled with random things that crossed my mind, notes of my interests, and things I never felt safe to share.

I am proud of filling them. Proud they are no longer blank pages. Excited to start in the next.

I have learned so much about myself since I started my journey of self discovery and self love in September. I am such a unique, smart, and thoughtful individual, but I am sure everyone says that about themselves. There's so much I have to learn about myself and so much I want to accomplish. I have to work on how I set and approach goals, but that's a challenge I welcome.

I am starting to slowly understand myself and I am so excited to meet me.

It's been a rough two weeks. Today has been the first time I've felt any kind of peace and my mania has settled. I forget that handwriting things is such a treat for me. Though I dislike my hand writing, working slowly and jotting things down in a "pretty" way really gives me a sense of peace and accomplishment. Today I started writing recipes from websites I like down in a notebook. It'll work for now. I even got help.

I know I was going to separate all my FFXIV stuff to a side blog, but my husband and best friend are right (as usual) and know me. I go through phases of wanting to organize everything and then giving up and combining it all again because it becomes a hassle. I think I need to step back from social media for a while soon. I believe it's getting to me.

I think getting more hands on is definitely my goal for the next month. To do more instead of just peering at it from across the table.

Perhaps I am starting too many things at once.

I wish to find my place in my spirituality, but at the same time I wonder if my heritage would offer me anything. I am half Mexican/half Caucasian, but I was raised Caucasian and had little to no contact with my Hispanic family after the age of 3. Because of this... I know nothing about my Mexican bloodline.

I do not know anything about the culture, the beliefs, the celebrations, very little about the food, and I can barely speak Spanish. I want to get in touch with these roots, also. Part of me feels that I am too late, however, and pushes back against it.

How do I even start? Where do I begin? Do I postpone my spiritual journey and focus on my heritage instead? I am overwhelming myself, as I often do, and these past two weeks have been rather awful... it's all compounding and I don't know what to do to get back on my feet.

Happy Birthday!!🥳🎂🥰 I hope you have a wonderful day!

Thank you so much, Airis! 💟 Your creativity inspires me to do more with my own!

My husband is ill and there's nothing more I can do for him, so my mania is taking over. I've done the quiet clean ups and retried making banana nut bread with this recipe. The first time I made it I had a dumb and forgot flour... you know, the main ingredient in bread. I need more hobbies that keep my hands busy because when I run out of chores, my manic episode worsens, and I feel as though I want to crawl out of my skin and scream.

Bipolar really is something.

I don't understand, but I feel like my own home makes me... depressed. I was so motivated to do things, but then I get back home and walk in the door and it's almost instant defeat. Dragging my feet to even do the simplest of things, I just want to lay in bed and sleep the day away.

It's not feeling overwhelmed by chores. I love doing housework, tbh. It keeps me busy as I'm a housewife and otherwise unemployed. I just feel... empty. Is it my schedule being overnight?

How can I help this? Home should be a place of comfort, love, and joy... but it makes me feel alone (when husband is at work), empty, and sad. Even my cats can only offer me little comfort and company.

It took me too long, but I finally finished The Last Unicorn. I had bought a deluxe edition of the novel which came with an interview and a note from Mister Beagle.

What I didn't expect was the second story that came as an epilogue.

Two Hearts was beautiful, exciting, and the ending of this shorter tale is what finally made me cry.

I felt like a child again reading this book, though I stepped away and kept myself from reading it. I felt like once I read it, the magic of nostalgia would leave. It wouldn't be special to me, anymore. But it was. It truly was.