This Is One Of The Funniest Rbs(/comments) I've Ever Received Online And I Think Imma Make It My New

how did you explain your two year long no call no show to your boss at the gas station?

“In the end, I didn’t really have to explain anything?”

[transcript below]

Anonymous Caller:

how did you explain your two year long no call no show to your boss at the gas station?

Wilbur Soot:

[editorial note: its a flashback; artist rendition. Wilbur has just returned to Utah]

Yes! Finally!

[Wilbur calls his boss]

Hey, It’s Wilbur. [unintelligible] Wilbur Soot. [unintelligible] Yes- Yeah, the British sounding one. Listen, I was wondering-

[unintelligible] My two week notice didn’t get processed? Are you kidding? [unintelligible] Oh... [unintelligible] Ok... Ok That makes sense. [unintelligible] Sure. [unintelligible] Alright, see you Monday.

it's ethos dream update time!!!!!! this is all i have so far and turns out this idea has developed into a lot more including a whole fanfic idea hahahhaha (i will never write it😇😇😇)

my brain explodes about this guy usually😊

the sing is "ayxita, wake up" by yves tumor

check out boat boys part (which hasn't been added to this sequence yet😏😏😉)

HAHAHAHA THATS HILARIOUS OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT

Okay i lied, I'm gonna keep spamming your inbox with bbc/hc ghosts (if that's alright with you)

I JUST WATCHED THE EPISODE WHERE THE PREHISTORIC GUY LEARNS ABOUT THE MOONLANDING AND. I WAS SO EXCITED AT FIRST CAUSE I THOUGHT ITD BE RLY CUTE, BUT THEN HE LEARNED ABOUT CONSPIRACY THEORIES????

I feel like thatd fit bdubs so well too. Just like in the show, hed watch some sorta conspiracy, and then ends up obsessing over it. Or something supernatural. Maybe he'll start thinking that etho is a vampire or something and get scared.

Or... Or mumbo gets into the conspiracies. Im thinking of the no-sleep moon club in hc s8 specifically. Either bdubs goes down the rabbit hole first, then tells mumbo about it, who gets terrified and almost has another heart attack, or mumbo finds out about it first and believes it, even tho he really should know better considering he died so recently. (idk why but I feel like mumbo would definitely fall for a conspiracy. Not bc hes silly, just because hes so anxious, even the possibility of it being true makes him freak out so much he just HAS to make sure nothing happens.)

Either way, mumbo ends up refusing to sleep, either bc he has nightmares, or bc he like. Heard about some moon big conspiracy from Bdubs and now thinks the moon will get jealous if he sleeps-

wait. The moon getting jealous? Isn't that just. The my little pony plot. Is. Is hermitcraft season8 a my little pony au??? Wait what.

(if i sound insane ive just been writing a historical paper for 10 hours straight, just pretend this makes sense if it doesn't)

Honestly. Real. I could see some shit like this happening. I'm half imagining Cleo being involved somehow. Like. Actually I can imagine Joel watching some wacky conspiracy show for shits and giggles. Bdubs, Cleo, and Mumbo are all watching over his shoulder. Bdubs who has been largely unexposed to a lot of things happening outside the UK over the years is a little gullible about it, and Mumbo, the know it all that he is, has to keep correcting things. Cleo, who just wants to enjoy the show, makes up something ridiculous about the moon to fuck with them and scare them off for awhile and things get. Incredibly out of hand over the span of a week. Cleo tries to tell them she lied but they're in too deep to believe her. They all end up having to stage some kind of ritual to appease the moon to get the two of them to shut up about it and go back to normal

[Day 31]: Rendog!

Decided to make a lil animation of our favorite Gigacorp employee for today's hermitaday :D He's exploring the recently discovered planet he build his base on.

Oh! What's that??? Looks like he got spooked by something... It was probably just the wind or something, right? I'm sure its fine... :)

(closeups/non animated version below!)

Goodness gracious, i can't believe hermitaday 2024 is over??? THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IVE COMPLETED AN ART CHALLANGE LIKE THIS LMFAO-

Everyone say thank you to my adhd meds!!! Are they working properly??? Nope. Not at all. But they r making me hyperfixate on things 24/7, mainly art, which is probably the only reason i completed this LMFAO (my grades on the other hand... Are suffering... Oop-)

IF YOU VOTE EVIL X AND SHOW ME PROOF ILL DRAW YOU STH COOL!!!! GO VOTE EVIL X PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEE

Tubbo_:

Submitted for: Dream SMP

Headcanons: Demi-boy, he/they

Propaganda: None submitted

Technoblade:

Submitted for: Dream SMP

Headcanons: Agender, he/him

Propaganda: “Techno is responsible for So Much of [the submitter’s] gender, no joke.”

“THAT MAN SCREAMS AGENDER ALONG WITH APAGENDER AND ALSO SCREAMING I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK AND NOT CARING FLUCTUATING HIS MASCULINITY AND FEMININITY NO MATTER THE PRESENTATIOn!!”

“Look, Techno is the most trans ever- like how do compete with a Pig that is drawn as a anthropomorphic boar, an anime girl, and just a dude. How can anyone compete with that?”

Evil Xisuma:

Submitted for: Hermitcraft

Headcanons: Transmasc Demi-boy, he/they

Propaganda: Canonically uses he/they

When your Character...

Gets into: A Fight ⚜ ...Another Fight ⚜ ...Yet Another Fight

Hates Someone ⚜ Kisses Someone ⚜ Falls in Love

Calls Someone they Love ⚜ Dies / Cheats Death ⚜ Drowns

is...

A Ballerina ⚜ A Child ⚜ Interacting with a Child ⚜ A Cheerleader

A Cowboy ⚜ A Genius ⚜ A Lawyer ⚜ A Pirate ⚜ A Spy

A Wheelchair User ⚜ A Zombie ⚜ Beautiful ⚜ Dangerous ⚜ Drunk

Funny ⚜ In a Coma ⚜ In a Secret Society ⚜ Injured ⚜ Shy

needs...

A Magical Item ⚜ An Aphrodisiac ⚜ A Fictional Poison

A Coping Strategy ⚜ A Drink ⚜ A Medicinal Herb ⚜ A Mentor

Money ⚜ A Persuasion Tactic ⚜ A Quirk ⚜ To be Killed Off

To Become Likable ⚜ To Clean a Wound ⚜ To Self-Reflect

To Find the Right Word, but Can't ⚜ To Say No ⚜ To Swear

loves...

Astronomy ⚜ Baking ⚜ Cooking ⚜ Cocktails ⚜ Food ⚜ Oils

Dancing ⚜ Fashion ⚜ Gems ⚜ Herbal Remedies ⚜ Honey

Mushrooms ⚜ Mythology ⚜ Numbers ⚜ Perfumes

Roses ⚜ Sweets ⚜ To Argue ⚜ To Insult ⚜ To Kiss

To Make False Claims ⚜ Wine ⚜ Wine-Tasting ⚜ Yoga

has/experiences...

Allergies ⚜ Amnesia ⚜ Bereavement ⚜ Bites & Stings

Bruises ⚜ Caffeine ⚜ CO Poisoning ⚜ Color Blindness

Facial Hair ⚜ Fainting ⚜ Fevers ⚜ Food Allergies

Food Poisoning ⚜ Fractures ⚜ Frostbite ⚜ Hypothermia

Injuries ⚜ Jet Lag ⚜ Kidnapping ⚜ Manipulation ⚜ Mutism

Pain ⚜ Paranoia ⚜ Poisoning ⚜ More Pain & Violence

Scars ⚜ Trauma ⚜ Viruses ⚜ Wounds

[these are just quick references. more research may be needed to write your story...]

Writing Resources PDFs

Ty for the tag <2

1) my creativity!!! I love creating art so so much and it's so much fun. I love helping others come up with ideas, i love getting inspired by others or inspiring them! I love how i always have new ideas and i never run out of things to make! I love love love creating things so much and i hope i can do it for the rest of my life!

2) My love for learning new things!! I love it so so much. I'm like a sponge soaking up knowledge and although others seem a bit put off by me dropping fun facts no matter what the topic is of conversation is or ranting for hours about the most random and obscure things, i absolutely my love for learning! I love my ability to connect my knowledge and connect different topics. I love discussing them with others. I love that even though i have pretty severe memory issues, my interests seem to be the one thing i do remember! I also love how broad my interests are. (credit to my adhd/autism for making me hyperfixate on the most random shit LMFAO)

3) my hair! Idk whether this counts, since it's dyed, but i absolutely love the blue color!! And my haircut :D its so pretty! Also shoutout to my natural hair for surviving all the bleach <2 i unironically love how it's still alive bc i always forget to use conditioner wifhskej

@amethystfairy1 @livinggold @cursedtime @clowneval @queryforthesoul @appleblocks @justsofiaaaa @wimblton475 @sailorque and anyone else who wants to reblogg :D

AIGHT CHAT WE'RE GONNA GO IN A CIRCLE AND SAY 3 THINGS WE LOVE ABOUT OURSELVES MEOW

I'll go first :3

1) My hair. It's a dark brown most of the time but there are little flecks of red that shine in the sun :3

2) My eyes. Most of the time they're a brown-black color, but in the sun they turn a very nice and pretty amber ^w^

3) My thighs. I know most people hate having large thighs but I honestly love them. I can stim on them, I can use them to warm up my hands, and they make it easier to trap my partners in snuggles >:3

Have a nice day and stay safe out there <3

100% agree dude

I feel like after a life on the streets and as a spy, hes gotten really really really good at hiding anxiety, mh issues, panic, etc.

Like. If someone held a gun to ur head, ud panic, but Cyphers prob been in situations where panicking could end deadly. I think more fics need to portray him as dissociated as fuck, bc hiding away has been natural for him for so long, he doesn't even do it consciously anymore.

Like, its gotten to a point where even in the quiet privacy of his own room, Cypher automatically hides all signs of panic, anxiety, grief, etc. Just bc its become natural atp. I feel like hed be a bit in denial/unaware of his emotions, or would simply try to ignore them yk

i like to think that he did it before Nora and she helped him unlearn it. But after she died, it got worse than ever before, both purposefully out of fear and partially on accident bc yk trauma of ur wife dying and shit

Also! Agree on the fics point. Yall write whatever ya want, ooc fics can be great and i love to read a "Cypher has a public mental breakdown" fic from time to time, bc its fun, idc if it feels ooc! Fics r for ur own self indulgence first and foremost!

My biggest fear is falling for the fanonised version of characters that I don’t see the in depth personalities they have anymore

Cypher’s mental state is such an easy thing to get wrong it’s hard to find fics that characterise it right, or at least in my opinion

That’s not to say I think all ooc fics are bad! No! What’s the point of fanfics if you don’t make your lil guys do shit they aren’t supposed to??

But back on topic, I think Cypher’s grief is another thing that’s handled so broadly from fic to fic

Sometimes he doesn’t seem to be weighed by it at all, sometimes it causes him to fear things and drown in self loathing because of it, sometimes he’s so mentally separated from his trauma that ‘Cypher’ and ‘Amir’ are two wholly different people. It’s interesting to see how sensitive or insensitive they make Cypher himself with this

Is there a right way to portray it? Honestly hard to say, but there are fics that I read that instead of feeling right they just don’t feel wrong— Y’know what I mean???

In my analysis of him, he’s clearly still not past Nora and his family (I have thoughts about the possible world they’re alive but that’s for a different post). I know grief doesn’t go away, not his type at least, but it does get easier with time. This leads me to believe that Cypher’s wife hasn’t been dead for too many years at this point— I’ve always imagined Cypher having been part of current day protocol for a couple of years after getting himself together, so I want to say she hasn’t been dead for over 10 years yet.

I think that Cypher, or rather, Amir was a lover. Like heart and soul he loved. It’s not that uncommon of a belief that when someone dies, the person their spouse was dies with them. Is this the case with Cypher? I think he believes that.

I think Cypher believes the man Amir was is long dead. But I also think he’s wrong. I think that for as much as he is a cruel man with all he has said and done, he is still a lover. Why else would seeing Bind make him so angry? It’s because he still loves it.

Amir may be dead to him, but ‘he’s’ still alive. Which person does that ‘he’ belong to? I don’t think that matters.

Whether Cypher is (still?) depressed, or only silently grieving, or maybe even healing, he’s alive. No matter his state I believe he knows his family wants him to continue living. He can’t break a final promise to them.

My only wish is for fanfic writers to not write him like some shaken up teenager because he is in fact a grown ass man that has lived through the streets and wouldn’t break down the same way normal people would. I’d imagine he’s much more gruff than that.

Related, there’s a single action that was portrayed in a fic I saw about him that feels very not wrong. In it he’s sitting at a bar with the other agents all celebrating a well done mission. In it he is being consumed by paranoia. Does his breathing spike? Does he sweat? Does he feel like throwing up? No. Instead, he simply drums his fingers and disguises the anxiety as boredom.

Because that’s what he does.

He hides.

My problem isn't even figuring out what job i wanna do, i already know.

The problem is just that i wanna do everything.

Anyone else wanna be a scientist (history, chemistry, psychology) and artist and journalist and farmer and archivist/librarian and-

The fact the only woman in qsmp is aroace is so hilarious from a shipping perspective. Every shipper must do yaoi cocaine, it is the law