Scribblcs​:

honestly? Im sincere and so full of love and no one can ever take that away from me

nilssen​:

𝐖𝐇𝐎: Peter Nilssen & @goldenboyrichards​​​​

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓: Peter’s in his shit, shit, shit era

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄: The Hospital, sorry :/

Shit, shit, shit. Peter was so fucked. He was so fucking fucked. He didn’t know if this was going to bite him in the ass later. It wasn’t his problem, was it? He was told to just keep the skeletons under control, which… he had totally failed at doing. Maybe he wasn’t as good at his job as he thought. Luckily, none of them had been hurt, but with one of their arrests it only seemed logical that someone at Hawkins P.D. would start piecing together that the rest were involved. He had to make sure that didn’t happen.

So, he went to the hospital. There were a million thoughts in his head. What was his purpose for going to the hospital? To find one of his skeletons? Convince them that the explosion wasn’t their fault? Probe them into giving him some sort of information. With a huff, he leaned against the receptionist’s desk, arms folded as he watched and waited for someone he knew to pass by. And then in a chance of luck, Adam Richards walked right past him. “Oh, Adam,” he sang in an attempt to get Adam’s attention. Once he had it, he used two fingers and waved at him with a come hither motion. “What brings you here?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. “You look rather…” he looked the guy up and down,” …Unscathed.”

After worrying for so long about Cole, and making sure he was okay and not in too much pain, Adam had nearly forgotten to check in with anyone else. He couldn’t help it - he had always been a nurturer, someone who took care of others. And now he was taking care of his boyfriend, who he loved very much, and who he had accidentally helped put in the hospital. He was still feeling immense grief about that, along with everything else that had happened at the carnival. 

He was so lost in his own head that as he passed Peter, he didn’t even look at him. Adam was on his way to buy a bottle of water from the vending machine when he heard Peter calling for him. “Oh,” He stopped, turning around and approaching the taller man. “Uh, hey, Peter,” Adam greeted him, trying to ignore the slightly unsettling feeling he had around the man. Peter was fine - nothing was wrong with him. He just knew so much about Adam, and Adam knew very little about the man who was in charge of helping the people of the commune fit back in to society. “I’m here checking on my...friend. Cole,” Adam supplied, lips pressed into a tight smile. “I wasn’t hurt,” He shrugged, not entirely understanding how he could have been near the blast and not felt a thing. It was confusing, but at least he was alive. “It’s really weird,” Adam admitted, brow furrowing in confusion. “I don’t really... remember it. Cole said we lit the explosions, and I heard Billy was arrested.” With a pang of guilt and worry, he looked up at Peter sharply. “Are the rest of us in trouble too?”

jackforeman​:

Though Adam was right, that he hadn’t killed anyone, either, that didn’t absolve him of the guilt from hurting Steve. In truth, he probably could have killed him, if what he’d heard was true and that he’d kicked the living daylights out of someone who was supposed to be one of his best friends. For what, though? Jack had no idea. Maybe to set off explosive fireworks, but those hadn’t even been his, and he and Adam would never intentionally do something to hurt people like that. They just wouldn’t.

Jack watched Adam’s face grow colorless, as though he’d seen the ghost of himself in Jack’s own eyes as he recounted what had happened. Adam had died, too? His mind raced like the red string on Jo’s board. Adam had known for weeks that he’d been dead, even from the first day that they’d come back from the commune. The forest community that they’d apparently been sent to, but in reality, they’d both come out of the forest rising from the dead. It made absolutely no sense. 

“Hold on,” he said slowly, pulling away from Adam to place his hands on his friend’s shoulders. “You’re telling me that we came out of the commune,” he lifted a hand, flexing his fingers in air quotes, “right, but we’d both been actually dead the entire time. So, the commune … it couldn’t have existed, did it?” It sounded insane, but it was the only thing that made sense, at least right now. “Because … you were there, and I was there, but we actually weren’t. Did it not actually exist at all, or were there just some people there, and they grouped us in with them?” The questions he had were all rhetorical, all ones that neither Jack nor Adam could answer right now, but he at least knew someone who could attempt to tackle the unanswerable. “Jo has this board, this … it’s a murder board, but she doesn’t call it that. But, whatever. Not the point. There has to be something on there that would help us figure this shit out.”

Jack pulled his hands from Adam’s shoulders, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. “I know. I’m sorry, too. I had no idea … I didn’t know that you, you know, died, too. I’m just glad that we have each other.” He paused, turning toward him. “Do you remember anything, at all? Like, about the afterlife? Because I can’t remember shit. It’s like it never happened.”

Neither of them had chosen to commit the actions that they had, Adam understood that. But he was struggling with forgiving himself, even now. He might not have made the decisions, but it had been him doing it regardless. While he could understand logically that he wasn’t responsible, it would take him some time to process the fact that he wasn’t guilty. That he hadn’t killed anyone - the Mindflayer had. The...Doppelganger had, if Max was right. But it was hard to believe that when those things sounded so insane. He had never heard of anything like that before, and Adam tried to be a pretty level-headed guy. Believing in outlandish stuff just wasn’t something that worked for him, usually. But he knew now that he needed to try to believe in it if he wanted a shot at forgiving himself for the things his body had done. 

As Jack put his hands on Adam’s shoulders, Adam looked at him in confusion. He could tell Jack was putting something together, realizing some truth about their situation. “...I don’t know,” He admitted, shaking his head. “I think it had to, right? Why else would Peter be around? Why would they want us to be going to therapy?” How could all of that just... be a coverup? And what were they covering up, if that was what it was? It made Adam’s head hurt to think about, and he just wasn’t sure he could believe all of that. “Not everyone could have died! How would...how could that many people just... come back?” None of this made any sense. Why them? What had Adam ever done to deserve being resurrected? “We just... maybe we came back, and it was around the time they found everyone else, and so they lumped us together?” He shook his head again, not being able to rationalize all of this. “We should talk to Peter. He would know. Right?” 

At the mention of Jo’s murder board, Adam bit his lip. He wasn’t exactly excited by the idea of going over to Jack’s house and seeing his sisters, if he was being honest. Jo hadn’t kicked his ass last time, but what if she’d changed her mind since? Or what if Julie did? 

Jack sat down, and Adam hesitantly followed. Perching on the bed beside him, he kept some distance between the two even now. “Jack, you have nothing to be sorry about.” Adam told him seriously. He was glad to have Jack too, in a way, but that seemed horrifying to admit considering Adam had been the one to kill him. He let out a shaky breath at the mention of an afterlife, hand subconsciously coming up to touch the crucifix that still hung around his neck even after all this time. “...no.” Adam admitted quietly. “There wasn’t anything. Just nothing, and then us waking up in the woods.” 

loverboymontgomery​:

Of course Cole wasn’t okay. How could he be? His broken rib was nothing compared to the way his heart was splintering and cracking with every tear Adam shed. Losing him had been the worst pain Cole had ever felt, but sitting next to him and watching him break was a close second. The confusion and fear in Adam’s eyes, while expected and completely understandable, made Cole want to take it all back– say it was just a joke– beg for forgiveness. 

But now, Cole couldn’t avoid it. He couldn’t avoid the truth, and Adam wasn’t going to let him avoid his feelings. Since Adam came back, Cole felt like he was walking around with a bomb strapped to his chest– like it was only a matter of time before he’d be destroyed again. As if he hadn’t cried enough, Cole’s eyes welled up in response to Adam’s urgent tone, the way he was peering into his soul.

“No,” he choked out, wrapping Adam’s hand into both of his. “I thought I was going to lose you again.” Cole’s voice was barely above a whisper, and his hot tears fell onto their hands. Saying it out loud took Cole back to that place– the moment at the carnival when Adam started acting different. The terror in his chest at the thought of attending another funeral for the love of his life. Cole didn’t realize he was having trouble breathing until he felt Adam’s hands on his shoulders, willing Cole’s chest to stop constricting. “I’ve never been more afraid of anything in my life. I can’t do this– life– without you… that’s the truth,” he lifted his gaze to Adam’s face and squeezed Adam’s hand tight, as if a tight enough grip would save him.

They shared a contemplative silence, and Adam finally moved closer to Cole. Relieved, he shifted his legs over to give Adam space to occupy, a way to feel his closeness. Cole’s chest felt heavy in an entirely different way than his head; he knew loving someone this completely was the greatest risk he could take. He always knew it would hurt somehow, but never anticipated this– the way his entire life lost meaning when Adam died. The way he didn’t feel like himself, much less like a person, without Adam Richards to look at him with a knowing smile or wrap him up in a hug or laugh at jokes that went over his head. 

As Adam wiped away Cole’s tears, Cole leaned his head against the other’s hand, held him there for a second. He knew with more certainty than he knew anything else that if, when he met Adam Richards for the first time, he could see the future– all the love and all the pain– he would choose him again. 

When Adam started crying, processing the information Cole had dumped on him, Cole instinctively pulled him closer and rubbed circles in his back. He hated that there was nothing he could say to make this better; he hated feeling powerless to help. At Adam’s question, Cole met his eyes and nodded once, confirming Adam’s fears. Cole carded his fingers through Adam’s hair as the other cried into his shoulder. “You won’t. I won’t let anything bad happen,” Cole whispered into his boyfriend’s hair. 

Cole’s stomach dropped; the one thing he wanted to keep from Adam, the moment he wanted to take to the grave, had somehow resurfaced in his memory. For a beat, he considered denying it, but he’d never been able to lie to Adam. Adam always knew. Cole’s hold on Adam tensed and he pressed his lips to Adam’s temple a few times. “I know, baby,” he murmured, “That was before. Right before you died… I know it wasn’t you.” Cole’s eyes welled up at what Adam was saying. “You stopped it from hurting me. You stopped it.”

Gently, Cole cupped Adam’s face and angled him up, so Cole could see him. He couldn’t stop the smile pushing up his lips when Adam called him Walden. In Adam’s eyes, all of Cole’s fear melted into tenderness and he felt his body relax. It was going to be okay. They would get through it together. “I know you do. And I love you more than anything, Adam Richards. I’ll love you forever.” 

Adam had spent his entire life trying to be good and kind and helpful. He tried to be the perfect son, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect Catholic, the perfect teammates - just perfect. He had made starting quarterback as a sophomore, and that came with expectations and pressure from the town, from his coaches, from his teammates, from everyone. Adam had always done his best to live up to the image that had been created of him after his picture had been in the paper after the first football game he’d helped the Tigers win years ago. 

But somewhere along the way, he must have done something wrong, something worth damning him to being a weapon for someone else. Adam wasn’t allowed to feel sorry for himself, though, not when he was the one doing the hurting. Those who were guilty didn’t deserve pity - the lives they had destroyed did. Five people were dead and countless were hurt, and the forest commune were the cause even if they hadn’t meant to be. Adam shouldered the guilt of what they had done, adding it to all the weight he carried there already. He was a modern day Atlas, it was so deep in his DNA that Adam was afraid he couldn’t stop if he tried. 

But hearing Cole admit he wasn’t okay? That was the hardest thing he had ever listened to. If Adam hadn’t already been crying, that would have made him start. He had always cried when Cole cried, devastated by seeing the scars Cole still bared from losing Adam three years ago. “Baby, I’m so sorry,” He told him. The moment Cole’s breathing starting getting uneven, Adam immediately squeezed his hand to try to reassure him. He felt powerless watching Cole right now; seeing how deeply affected he was by the thought of Adam dying again. “I know,” Adam cried, wiping his tears with the back of his free hand. His heart broke for Cole, because Adam couldn’t promise that he would be okay. He couldn’t swear to still be here with the dust settled. Because if he had learned anything from the last few hours, it was that he had no control over his own life anymore. 

As Adam shifted closer to Cole, he sat in stiff silence. His death had shaped Cole so much more than Adam even realized before now. Of course he knew Cole had missed him - obviously, he did. But the fact that Cole couldn’t live without him? It felt like someone had taken Adam’s heart in their hands, wrapping it tightly in their fists and squeezed it until it stopped beating all together. Cole had to be okay without him; not because Adam planned on dying or leaving any time soon, but because it would kill Adam to know that if something did happen to him, Cole wouldn’t be able to keep going. Adam needed him to, because if anyone deserved a happy, loving life, it was Cole Montgomery. Adam wanted him to find a job he loved, buy a house somewhere pretty and warm, just like they had always talked about. He wanted him to find someone who could make Cole just as happy as Adam did. If Adam couldn’t grow old with Cole, he wanted someone else who would treat him perfectly to get that experience, because Cole deserved a happy ending.

 And as much as Adam wanted it to be him beside Cole, holding Cole’s hand on a porch while they talked to their grandkids, he couldn’t promise him that. Not right now. 

As Cole leaned into Adam’s touch, the grip on Adam’s heart gave one final squeeze. No one in the world deserved the love Cole Montgomery gave to him, that he’d given him since they were in high school. Tears fell from Adam’s eyes as he thought about how much good Cole had done for Adam over the years. If they had never met, Adam didn’t know who he would have even become. Every part of his life had been shaped by Cole Montgomery, and he knew Cole felt the same. 

He cried harder at the love he felt from Cole rubbing his back, thinking about how much he didn’t want to lose this. If he had to, he didn’t want Cole to be alone and broken without him, but... at the end of the day, Adam was still so young. There were so many things he’d never gotten to do. Dying at nineteen meant that he’d lost so much, and maybe coming back now was a blessing. Adam just wished it didn’t come with the condition that he might black out at any time and become a monster hellbent on hurting others. “You can’t control this,” Adam said tearfully, shaking his head at Cole insisting he wouldn’t let anything happen to Adam. 

Adam cried as Cole confirmed that it had happened, that Adam had been horrible to Cole right before he died. He had nearly killed him - he might have, if he hadn’t momentarily been able to stop himself. He pulled Cole closer, tucking his face into the space between Cole’s neck and shoulder. “But what if I can’t again? What if I’m not strong enough? Cole, I don’t want this,” Adam gasped, shoulders shaking from the sobs racking his body. “I don’t want to do this, be this. I don’t want to hurt anyone, especially you.”

Adam couldn’t control this any more than Cole could. Neither of them could guarantee that this wouldn’t end in tears, with one or both of them dead. But for a moment, Adam let himself believe that maybe they could face anything as long as they were together. Maybe they could figure this out, stop whatever was controlling Adam. Maybe it would be alright in the end. “I’ll love you forever too, Cole Montgomery,” Adam whispered, kissing Cole’s cheek feather light, so gently he couldn’t possibly hurt any bruising there. 

thequeenofhawkins​:

There were only a handful of people that made Chrissy feel truly safe or like herself. At the top of that list rested Adam Richards. Childhood best friend. Ex-boyfriend. Closest friend. She felt like there was no one she knew better. Cut from the same cloth, some would say. They both ticked off that boy-next-door/girl-next-door behavior and both deserved more than what they were dealt from life. Namely? Death. 

Chrissy shut the door behind her, given Adam’s permission. She let out a soft laugh. If anything, Adam’s mom would probably leap with joy knowing they were in his bedroom with the door shut. She knew their parents hoped that it would be Chrissy and Adam that ended up together in the end, which would never happen in a million years. “Tell me about it. My mom wanted to get me drug tested when I came back home,” and Laura Cunningham had drug tested her daughter, only for the test to come back negative. 

“The same,” she answered, vaguely. Whenever Chrissy thought back to her time on the commune, she couldn’t remember anything. If she tried hard enough she could remember being in Eddie’s trailer, then in the forest, and then back home, but any memory of the forest just felt like a memory that wasn’t hers. Like, they belonged to someone else or… they weren’t entirely real at all. “What do you mean?” She asked, turning her head towards him. The more she thought about it, Chrissy was able to convince herself that she had willingly gone, even through all the fallacies. “Like, that we were never there?”

Chrissy was probably his closest friend besides Cole. She knew so much about him; so many small personal details she’d accumulated over the years of them being family friends, then awkward boyfriend/girlfriend, and finally actual friends. Being around her had become so much easier once he had come out - he felt like she really understood him. She had seen the bad with the good, and accepted him because of who he was. In Adam’s eyes, there was no one in the world with a better heart that Chrissy Cunningham.

Rebecca Richards had always wanted them to end up together - she had taken their breakup worse than anyone else. Adam had had to assure her multiple times that they weren’t getting back together, no matter how perfect they seemed for one another. They were better off as friends. And though he couldn’t tell her this - Adam was gay. If he could fall in love with a girl, it would be someone like Chrissy, but he just wasn’t interested. He hadn’t been since the moment he met Cole Montgomery and he realized that he could only ever love him. “Thank god mine didn’t. Although, maybe we should have,” He said, brow furrowing in thought. After all, Adam thought there was a good chance that maybe they had been drugged with something unless Cole was right about everything.

Adam was terrified about what not remembering meant. If there was nothing to remember, and he had died, did that mean he hadn’t gone to Heaven or Hell? It had been years since Adam had really felt like he belonged in church, and he really didn’t know if he could believe in a God that hated him for being in love with Cole, but..... he just couldn’t believe that he’d gone no where. Adam really didn’t like thinking about that. “No, I mean...well, maybe?” Adam shrugged. “Maybe we were drugged and taken there or something.” He proposed, preferring to believe that rather than the possibility that he had died. 

colemontgomeryx​:

who: cole & @goldenboyrichards​

where: the Richards’ house

Since Adam died, Cole had made it a habit to check on his sisters at least once a week. He’d been quite close to them when Adam was alive, as he went over to the Richards house once or twice a week for English tutoring. Mrs. Richards, particularly, loved Cole for ensuring her son passed English, and always had some sort of baked good in the oven on tutoring days. He’d loved coming over to the Richards’, to get a glimpse of a functional family and a father who was fairly involved with his children. Besides, Cole had always wanted a big family, so he was never annoyed by the girls’ footsteps and giggling filling the hallways.

Now, though, the energy in the household was different. For the first few months after the fire, Cole almost dreaded going over– it broke his heart to see the family so devastated. But in the last year or so, it had gotten easier; they’d sort of mutually decided that remembering Adam together was better than suffering alone. It was a somber occasion, still, but bearable. 

Today, Cole had picked up Dirty Dancing at Family Video, because Cindy had been talking about it lately and he figured he’d give it a shot. He always had a soft spot for Cindy (and Patrick Swayze). Cole approached the familiar house on his skateboard and stopped short by the curb, glancing at a guy around his age sitting on the porch. Had they invited cousins into town he didn’t know about? Or maybe it was the neighbor?

Untucking the VHS from his arm, Cole walked up the steps and tried to get a closer look at the guy without seeming weird. He immediately recognized Adam’s old hat– the beat-up Notre Dame logo, with bleach spots from a botched wash, was unmistakable. “Hey, man,” Cole said, trying to get his attention. “I don’t know if you’re a guest or whatever, but you shouldn’t touch Adam’s stuff,” he said, trying to keep the resentment out of his voice. What kind of asshole just helped himself to a dead guy’s belongings? Cole wanted to snatch the hat off of the guy’s head, but he resisted.

Home had always been a safe place for Adam. It was a place full of laughter, of love, a place where he could mostly be himself. Even once Adam had realized he was gay, home hadn’t felt scary or unfamiliar. He hadn’t told his parents or sisters - although, he was pretty sure at least Beth knew - but he hadn’t felt weird about bringing Cole around, either. They were friends first, Cole was technically even Adam’s tutor, so it was never weird having him around. He’d fit into their family seamlessly, almost. Adam could even pretend that it would still be like that if his family fully knew the truth. 

Come home after.... whatever had happened to him over the last three years was the first time things felt off. Something had shifted within the Richards’ household once he had left, something he never could have anticipated. Adam knew that when he and Cole ran away, his family would be hurt. But then Adam hadn’t run away with Cole - he’d gone to live in the forest around Hawkins, apparently. And while he was gone, his family had fractured in small ways. Like the result of an earthquake, the foundation had cracked and changed, and the happy family of five was now a sad family of four. 

Now they were a family of five again, if Adam could just figure out how he fit into the new picture. But it felt like maybe he was too jagged now; his pieces didn’t fit anymore. 

Going out in public seemed too scary these days. Everyone knew his face, knew his name, knew the golden boy he’d been before. And they all wanted to know just what the hell would make someone like him, someone seemingly perfect, disappear for three years. And the worst thing was, Adam had no answers. He didn’t know. Because he just couldn’t wrap his brain around the idea that he would run away and leave Cole behind. 

He sat on his front porch, baseball cap pulled low and sunglasses on to hide his face from prying neighbors. If Mrs. Sanders asked one more fucking time how he was feeling, he might actually explode. As someone approached the front door, Adam was ready to bolt back inside, warm weather be damned, when he heard a voice he knew as well as his own.

“Cole?” He asked, looking up at him to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. But standing there in the flesh was Cole Montgomery. Adam’s heart fluttered at the sight of him standing there with his skateboard, exactly as Adam remembered him. 

Pulling the sunglasses off, Adam tossed them aside carelessly to show Cole that it was him. “Cole, I’m so sorry.” He apologized, slowly standing up and taking a cautious step towards him. Adam didn’t know how upset Cole might be with him; he’d just abandoned him for three years, after all. But... if he was mad at Adam, why was he visiting Adam’s house? “I swear, I don’t know what happened. I didn’t mean to just leave you. I’m so sorry.” 

zccming​:

max watched as adam danced around her and maybe it was untimely, but she laughed. it was a dry, hollow laugh, one that indicated that she didn’t find him funny, but his behavior ridiculous. from what she had heard about adam, she quickly made an assumption about what this was, and boldly told him, “i’m not afraid of you.” she said it casually, then was sure to let him know, “you don’t have to act like such a freak.” he probably felt guilty, which made sense. max didn’t think he had any reason to and truthfully she hoped her dismissiveness of his precaution would help him believe that. at least a little bit. 

inducting people in the hawkins shit show of supernatural nonsense weren’t exactly max’s favorite conversations, but she calmly, cooly answered any questions adam might have. she might know cole, but she didn’t know him, so even in the wake of tragedy, her walls were firmly up. “it’s probably something new. we’re calling it the doppelganger.” the name rolled of her tongue and left a bad taste in her mouth. if max wasn’t careful, she probably would’ve frowned at adam’s next question. he was so scared. max wished that nobody had to be scared about this shit anymore. “we’ve done it before…” she confirmed, then counted out on her fingers and held up four of them, “four times, but, i wasn’t here the first time. it’ll get taken care of.” it felt kind of wrong to say, she was making it sound too easy, but max was trying to mask her own fears and convince someone else it would be fine. how else was she supposed to do that without a little bit of dishonesty?

apparently i did stuff like this before. adam’s expression fell so far max bit back the urge to say i know. his request was a heavy one, but as her eyes flicked to cole in the hospital bed, max wasn’t sure how she could say no. and more importantly, she didn’t want to. if she had it her way, she’d be in cole’s spot right now. but like life had shown her time and time again, she wasn’t a person who got her way. not over the things that really mattered anyway. max looked back up to adam and nodded, “yeah…” she took a deep breath, “yeah, i got you, totally. you won’t.” the energy in the room was so tense at the possibility of push coming to shove, max tried to cut through it the best she knew how in the presence of a stranger and she made a joke, “i’ll kick your ass, richards. don’t have to ask me twice.” knowing that wasn’t exactly what he asked, max dropped her wall for a split second and offered a more sincere, “i’ll make sure he’s safe. won’t even tell him you asked me either.” she mimed a zipping over her lips, “our secret, if you want.”

Adam blinked in surprise when Max openly pointed out that she wasn’t afraid of him. He wasn’t used to people being so blunt - even Cole had been known to sugarcoat things for Adam from time to time. No one had ever looked Adam in the eyes and called him out on something like that before, and he wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. “Oh, um,” He nodded, brow furrowing in confusion slightly. “Good to know.” Adam didn’t know what Max had experienced before that made her not scared of him, considering how he’d acted at the carnival, and he was kind of worried to find out. Cole had mentioned she’d told him about the Mindflayer, so she had to know that that was what had turned him into this in the first place. At her calling him a freak, he frowned but said nothing. He’d been feeling a lot like one lately. 

Before Adam had found himself at the center of the fucked up stuff in Hawkins with the rest of the tree commune, he hadn’t paid much attention to it. Back when Cole’s previously unknown brother had gone missing, Adam had been concerned and had done his best to support Cole. It had been a scary time, but not too weird from an outside perspective. Not enough for Hawkins to really seem cursed or that fucked up. But now, Adam was wondering how deep all of this truly went. What had he missed out on over the years? “The Doppelganger?” Adam repeated, nose scrunching up at the name. What did that even mean? Where were they getting these names from? “It’s what controlled us at the carnival?” He asked Max, unsure of how much she knew about this thing. She seemed collected, confident - but he wasn’t sure if that was a façade or not. Four times made him feel better, honestly. That was a pretty decent track record. “Have you all ever lost before?” It was a fair question, all things considered. He wasn’t sure if it would piss Max off or not though. 

She didn’t seem shocked by his admittance; Cole must have told her either before he came back or after. He was just so scared of hurting Cole again, of not being able to stop himself like he had the last time. Adam didn’t even know how he had stopped himself, just that he hadn’t squeezed the life out of Cole despite the dark, twisted voice in his head telling him to. Maybe the next time that voice took control again, he wouldn’t be as strong or as lucky. “...thank you,” Adam told her quietly, looking sadly at Cole lying still in the hospital bed. His heart monitor was beating steadily, and that calmed Adam down a bit. “Yeah, good,” He laughed in surprise at Max threatening to kick his ass. “Just make sure he’s alright. And yeah, please don’t tell him I asked.” Adam glanced back over at the younger girl, glad she was offering not to tell Cole. Maybe they should - but Adam didn’t want him to be upset with either of them over the request. 

mmuscles​:

at first, thad was satisfied. he had so clearly gotten under adam’s skin with the first comment, and that was his goal. he continued looking smug, coolly propped against the vending machine. nothing adam could say or do would bother him. he had the high ground so to speak, and he was basking in it. 

in truth, it wasn’t like adam had ever done anything to him other than beat him in a game of beer pong and be overall annoying, but at his core, thad knew about adam and cole, which was enough to put a target on their backs. it was a true moment of weakness when thad kissed cole, the guy had pissed him off so bad, he didn’t know what to do other than that. it was frustrating, it was scary. even though cole had no intentions of sharing what had happened with the class, it was abundantly apparent adam knew, and that had to be why they had this weird rivalry. at least, that was what made sense in thad’s head. to him, all of the pointed comments and agitating behavior on his own end were warranted, adam knew something, something that nobody else could ever know. and if thad fucked with him enough? maybe he’d keep it to himself, too. but beyond that, beneath layers and layers thad had yet to pull back he was jealous. not necessarily because adam was with cole, or cole was with adam, but because they were together, so disgustingly in love, and it didn’t feel fair that something he struggled with so deeply came so apparently natural to others, to them. 

right when thad became comfortable with the notion he might be sitting pretty for the rest of this conversation, adam snapped. with fear, his eyes widened and he immediately stood up off the vending machine, hands helplessly flailing into the air, “shut up, man!” it was thad’s turn to say. between bringing up the kiss and telling him to get lost, thad had it. he panicked, but this time he wasn’t going to kiss some guy in the middle of a hospital hallway. instead, he lunged for adam, “don’t say shit like that!” he tried to sound tough, intimidating, but if anything it came out as a plea as he tried to slap his hand over adam’s mouth while he hurled one last insult, “if you could pull your head out of your ass dude, you’d realize you’re the one acting jealous and crazy right now! maybe if you didn’t have this…this…freak side to you, that would’ve never happened with your boyfriend and i!” 

Adam wasn’t used to hating people. In his life, the list of people he’d truly disliked had only really included Tommy Hagan and Carol Perkins, and that felt well-deserved considering the cruelty they’d leveled at the kids at their school deemed unpopular. He preferred neutrality to distaste, but there were just some people he couldn’t feel neutral about. And Thad Bradshaw was one of them.

This animosity between them had been growing since their very first interaction in Hawkins. It had been building, the tension between them growing stronger and stronger each time Thad called Cole ‘Pretty Boy,’ or each time Adam had felt the need to beat him at something. They were just such opposites at their core; two people who likely could never have gotten along, even if Thad hadn’t kissed Cole weeks ago. They were too different to ever see eye to eye - and not just because Thad was a good seven inches shorter than him. 

He gritted his teeth when Thad went on the defensive, Adam’s comment about him kissing Cole evidently being a sensitive subject. In another situation, Adam would have apologized. Even if he had never really felt the effects of internalized homophobia before, he knew it was a sensitive subject, especially for guys like Thad who always felt like that had something to prove. But Adam wouldn’t apologize. No, he opened his mouth to continue when suddenly, Thad was smacking at it. Adam’s eyes widened, his hands tensing as Thad lunged at him. “What the fuck, Thad?” He snapped, slapping Thad’s hand away. 

Although his blood was boiling over the entire interaction, he was still ready to walk away. He was better than this; Adam didn’t fight people unless they threatened someone he cared about. But then Thad landed the final blow and Adam felt all of his composure snap. 

If you didn’t have this…this…freak side to you, that would’ve never happened with your boyfriend and I!

He felt like he could throw up. White hot rage coursed through his body, his hands coming up before he could stop them. But the thing was...Adam didn’t want to stop himself. He didn’t want to walk away. Thad had crossed a line, and all of their interactions had been leading to this anyway, right? Implying that it was Adam’s fault that Cole and Thad had kissed - that Adam had had any control over any of this shit that he’d been going through - made him see red. 

And so he shoved Thad as hard as he could into the vending machine, not even flinching when he heard the other’s body hit it. 

Adam wasn’t an angry person; he didn’t like violence. But Thad had it coming, and Adam could make his peace with that. 

WHO: Adam & @zccming​

WHAT: How tf haven’t we met yet

WHERE: Cole’s Room

If there was someone who’d been hanging around Cole and Steve’s hospital room as much as himself ( and Eddie, of course ), it was Max Mayfield. Unfortunately for Adam, most of the time, she’d been around while he’d been asleep. The events of the carnival had exhausted him, and any chance he got to sleep either curled up around Cole or sitting in the chair, holding his hand, Adam took. But this time, he seemed to have woken up before Cole and found her in one of the chairs in the room. “Oh, hey,” He greeted quietly, being very careful not to wake Cole as he got out of the small hospital bed. 

He wasn’t sure how she felt about him after everything that had happened at the carnival. Adam couldn’t blame her if she hated him or blamed him for what had happened because honestly, he blamed himself too. He didn’t understand any of it, even the things that Cole had shared with him confused him. Adam just knew that the blackouts were dangerous and had happened before. Giving her her space, Adam kept to the edges of the room after he’d stood up and stretched. “I’m sorry about the carnival,” He finally said, studying her. “I don’t get this. I don’t know what’s happening to me or why we did that.” The lack of answers terrified him, honestly.