Arguing With Bro And Panicking Because I'm Losing (I Effectively Stopped All Further Confrontation By

Talking about fanfiction with my group chat and everytime they ask what my favourite fanfics for certain ships are I just have to deflect the conversation because my favourite fics just so happen to be written in october and they don't want to match my freak (the freaky little guys make me cry over them for 30+ chapters)

Today I learnt I somehow haven't mentioned my own brother to somebody I've been friends with for over a year now oh my- I mean in my defense he's a lot older than me + lives far away so I haven't seen him in years, but, I just casually said "yeah I think my brother was in the military too" and she was stunned

I need to stop flirting with my friend oh my

She's giving me standards that I'm afraid no-one else shall fulfil and I

What do I do help me help me

Our texts are so unhinged but I

I don't think it's a joke anymore

Ffffuuuuccckkkk

Said in a singsong voice

Why is he holding eyes and are they, perchance, blue?

He who holds the orb holds it

Sometimes when I go to tesco they'll have gin next to this one drink (I don't remember what kind) but it says diablo on it and I really want to get a picture because it's everyone's favourite siblings in a different universe/hj

I meant wifi, wife is in fact doing her best

Wife's not working yk what that means

:( dinosaur time

I hasth purchased cookie dough approximately three nights ago, but, alas, I forgot to keep it refrigerated for I was suffering from an ailment (a cold) and it ended up on my desk for the three days. Unfortunately, it appears there's approximately half of a tube left, and I hate to waste such delicious food. That being said, is this alright to consume?

I shan't be taking constructive criticism unfortunately, my darling friend has already advised me against it, but, it is rather presumptions to assume someone such as I, whomst eats far more peculiar things, shall heed her warnings. With this in mind, I shall eventually conclude whether this was smart decision making, or, in fact, an error on my part.

Wife is crying because I told her I just want her to be happy with life regardless of whether that's married to me in the future, or if she marries a man and I must remain her friend for eternity as long as she's content. WHAT DO I DO???? I DONR WANT HER CRYING??? HELP???

Father hasth gambled than I shall read a mere eleventeen pages of my lovely light novel. With the knowledge I have severe reading block and have not dared touch this literature for many moons, I have utter confidence that I will read another 51.

I need to put a shelf up on my wall but for now the only part of my bookshelf with enough space for my picture frame is subsequently also the one where I have all my 'children's books' so you can bet your socks that there is now hatsune miku fanart next to my collection of horrible histories