“i Almost Always Feel Like I Don’t Fit In Like My Personality Is Wrong Like I Will Never Be Enough

Depression does not always mean

Beautiful girls with visible scars on their wrists. Depression does not always mean having a bad day at work.

Sometimes depression means not getting out of bed for three days in a row because your feet refuse to believe that they will not shatter upon impact on the floor.

Sometimes depression means that summoning the willpower to do the laundry and change your bed sheets is the most impressive thing you’ve accomplished all week.

Sometimes depression means lying there for hours, because you cannot convince your body that it is capable of movement.

Sometimes depression means not being able to write for days, weeks even because the only words you have to offer the world are;

“I’m trapped”

“I’m drowning”

“I swear to god I’m trying”

Sometimes depression means that every single bone in your body aches but you have to keep going through the motions because you cannot call into work with the excuse of depression.

Sometimes depression means ignoring every text and phone call for an entire month because yes, they have the right number but you are not the person they are looking for, not anymore.

Because this explains so much.

“Depression in the summer is not the same as any other time, it’s night lights at 3 am and blackout curtains at 5am. It’s eating once a day at midnight and drinking soda at 1 in the morning. Sleeping until 3 and feeling empty. Everything is hot and bright, it makes me sweat and hurts my eyes. I close the curtains.”

— -Brendon/1:52am (via trans-tas-tic)

sometimes, i scare myself. i hate lashing out. i hate being so angry i cry and want to hit things. i hate getting furious over things that should be small. its scary

“No matter how hard I try I will always be left out, will never be as important as them, will always be forgotten and the only reason someone calls is because they might need something from me. I feel unwanted and worthless. They make me feel unwanted and worthless. But they’re all I have…”

— (via suicidalnixi)

do people miss me I can’t imagine myself as a person others think about

The worst feeling

i wish i could be the person i want to be but im too tired