𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐉𝐎𝐎𝐍

im not crazy for saying that i found comfort in this chapter which fucking titled HURT. im so glad yoongi saved oc and helped her and jk as well. and JIMIN..... he's turning to kinda good guy??? i really dont understand whom he's scared of. i cant fucking wait for the next chapter. you did a really really good job on this sibi ♡

↳ Index [Chapter 20 - Hurt]

Warnings: sadness, signs of trauma, slight violence, but also sweet healing moments 

Wordcount: 11k

a/n: i know there is lots of plot in this chapter jfajsd i hope it’s not confusing

Is that your mother singing? And is that her hand caressing your hair? Those sheets, they feel like the sheets of your childhood bed. Soft, warm, cotton. That smell. Is that your father’s cologne? It smells like his hugs. Why can’t you open your eyes? You want to see them. You haven’t been back in your childhood home in years, not after the fire burned everything down. Paws on wooden tiles. No way. Is that Cookie? She is alive again? You laugh, but nothing comes out. You want to open your eyes and look at her, but you can’t. She barks, it makes your father laugh and soon your mother laughs too. Mama? Papa? 

You sit up and gasp, ripping your eyes open. This isn’t your childhood home, this is a forest. This isn’t your childhood bed, this is the wet, cold ground. And who is that shadow sitting in the dark?

“Took you long enough”, he grumbles and steps into the light of the full moon. Min Yoongi.

“You?” you gasp and it is not long that realisation washes over you. You reach for your neck. It is dry and doesn’t hurt anymore. You pull your hand away, staring at your clean palms, “what?”  

“I fed you my blood”, he says calmly.

You gasp, throat constricting. Your hand is on your chest, feeling for a heartbeat. 

“No you aren’t dead”, he says dryly. He stands up and closes the distance between you and him. He squats down, red eyes racing over your face, “although I did think you would die on me for a second. You’ve been out for five hours.”

“Five hours?” you gasp, blinking in confusion, “Yoongi what is going on? What is-“, you stop talking when you watch Yoongi’s head snap up in alert. He sniffles then growls.

“Okay we gotta go”, he whispers and wraps his strong fingers around your wrist.

“What?”

“We have to go, didn’t you hear me?” he spits angrily, pulling you to your feet.

You are dizzy and the world is nothing but a blurred mess. You wobble and stumble, head pounding painfully.

“I’m so dizzy. Yoongi wait.”

“There is no time to wait”, he barks, faltering only a second later when he sees how your eyes flutter in exhaustion. He sighs, “fine, I’ll walk for you.”

He throws you over his shoulder afterwards, ignoring your squeaked out complaints. And then he runs. He runs so fast that trees turn into dark streaks of blurriness and the ground beneath your eyes is indistinct.

“Yoongi put me down please”, you plead, feeling your eyes tear up in the cold wind.

But Yoongi doesn’t answer you. He continues running through the endless forest. The darkness doesn’t even phase him, he manoeuvres through the thick undergrowth and high trees as if it was the brightest day.

“Please…” you plead. 

“Quit it”, he hisses, dodging a family of low trees.

“I’m so confused, what happened?”

“Quiet.”

Oh your stomach aches so much. Yoongi is way too fast, you will throw up if he doesn’t slow down.

“Yoongi, please slow down.”

“Oh my god”, he stops, picking you up like a little baby so you would be facing him, “if I tell you to be quiet then be fucking quiet. You want to tell every bloody vampire in a radius of fifty miles your location?”

“What?” you gasp.

“Their little feeding stupidity alerted others of our kind, they smelled blood. Don’t you get it?” he spits.

“I- holy shit.”

“Now you get it”, he throws you back over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, “so be quiet until I tell you that you can speak.”

And so Yoongi runs again, through the forest until he reaches the gates. Down the empty streets and quiet alleyways. And you stay quiet, cursing your heart for racing so loudly and your brain for slowly coming to its senses. 

Feeding stupidity. 

Yoongi told you so himself. Someone fed on you, used you as their own blood bag, almost ripped you to shreds. It was them. Park Jimin and Kim Namjoon and… Taehyung. Your love, the man who swore to protect you. He led you to your demise.

“Stop sobbing”, Yoongi hisses, taking a sharp turn to the right.

“They killed me”, you sob. It hurts so much. You want to cry for hours.

“You’re not dead, we’re almost there”.

“Why did you heal me? Why? I could have been like you, I could have been like you.”

“You don’t want this, trust me”, he mumbles, unphased by your continuous sobs and cries.

He betrayed you. He gave you promises of safety and he forced you into danger. You trusted him and he allowed them to kill you. It hurts so much, it’s so unbearably much.

Keep reading

fuck i almost cried

Can’t Keep Lying

PLOT: Jin’s been distant lately. Maybe it’s the work flow, maybe it’s something you said. Or maybe, maybe it’s just the girl at work.

Next

Masterlist

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Jin x Reader

Warnings: Language

…

It was happening again. Jin was absent. Well, not completely. Jin was there, as he always was in the late afternoon, sitting at the kitchen table eating his dinner. But you could see it in his glossy eyes, see it in the way his fork mindlessly pushed his food around the porcelain plate, he was absent. His mind was elsewhere whilst his still body sat in the seat of your kitchen. This had become your normal. The chatter and laughter you two shared before, replaced by an unsteady silence ever since he began his new acting role. You cleared your throat, his eyes finally showing some sign of life as he glanced up at you.

“How was the filming today?” You asked, hoping you sounded more uplifting than you felt.

“It was great!” He also smiled back at you, a taut, fake smile that you’d been receiving more and more lately. You were becoming increasingly aware of Jin’s changes in behavior, that fake happiness had began to forge on his face often. Normally, he could go on for hours. He would tell you about his day, he’d tell you what he’d done and what he was up to. He’d always talk in a very animated and vivid way, fueled with enthusiasm and excitement. Then he’d lovingly question you about your day, you’d go watch a movie or go for a walk together, and then curl up to sleep. That had been your routine. But Jin didn’t continue the conversation further, you knew that after he was done eating he’d go shower and fall asleep before you could say anything. He no longer made jokes, or kept you up teasingly poking at your sides and chatting. You couldn’t even remember the last time you’d heard him genuinely laugh.

“Jin.” You said. You were done letting him put on this little act, you needed to know what was wrong. “Talk to me.”

He didn’t look up. Jin’s eyebrows knit together, a concerned look covering his face as he set his fork down.

“You know that I would never want to hurt you, right?” He asked. You nodded, even though he was still not looking at you. “.. And I realize, that as much as I would hate to, I’m going to. Because there is no way I can go about this, that will not hurt you. There’s no good way to let you know this.”

You pushed your plate away from you, your heart was pounding. You were afraid now, everything suddenly seemed at stake. You were running over the memories in your head, wondering if you’d ever done anything wrong, if you had anything to do with what he was about to say. Jin finally looked at you, you nodded at him to go on.

“As you know, I’ve gotten along with the crew on the film I’m working on. There’s a lot of people on it. The director is talented and kind to us, the cast members are amazing and great to work with. There’s Jiwoo, Jaehyun and.. Oh, I did tell you about Seoyeon, didn’t I?” He asked, the tone of his voice became more nervous at the mention of her. You did the only thing you’d been able to do, nod. This was where it was getting difficult, Jin was visibly hesitating to speak again as he reached out and held onto your hand. You wanted to pull away from him, but something told you this might be the last time you got the chance. So you gripped onto his hand and listened. “Well, Seoyeon. She is a love interest of my character, you know that. We were both understanding of it, it’s only a role and it’s part of the job. We did not hang out afterwards, she knows I’m with you. We kept it all professional. One day we went out to celebrate the shoot going well, and we spoke. After that, we kept in touch. Then we started hanging out together on set.. And off set. I’ve realized over time, that maybe, well..” Jin was not one to stammer over his words, but he couldn’t help it. “I’ve realized that-”

“It’s not just part of the role.” You whispered, almost afraid to say it. In the short silence that followed, you wanted Jin to laugh and shake his head and tell you that you were wrong. Unfortunately that’s not what he did. Instead he just bit his lip and looked away.

“I think I fell in love with her.”

You were frozen. Everything was gone for a second, and when you finally came to your senses you felt the warmth in your limbs and realized that your hand was still in his. You yanked your hand away, the chair legs forcefully skidding on the ground as you came to a stand. Jin jumped in surprise, he was also rising to his feet. There was finally emotion back on his face, fear and confusion.

“I love you Y/N.” Jin assured you, but it was of no comfort.

“No, no you don’t. Maybe you did, but you know you don’t anymore. That’s what you’re trying to tell me, right?” You choked.

“.. I just can’t stay with you anymore.”

“So you told her you’d leave me? So she’s waiting for you to come back, single? I was just the obstacle in your way?” You spat. The silence from the male proved that you were correct yet again. Why couldn’t you just be wrong? He looked composed, serious, maybe a little hurt but not anything compared to how you were feeling. His empty hand was back at his side now, his eyes searching you for understanding.

“Then I guess she gets what she wants. I want you-” You paused as your voice cracked, taking a breath before trying again. “I want you, to grab your stuff, and get out of my house.”

Jin’s eyes widened in shock. He knew that it would resort to this eventually, but hearing it is something different. He never actually did mean to bring you so much distress, but he needed to tell you the truth while he still could, and a part of him really did love you. He moved towards you, trying to grab onto your arm and mumbling your name softly. But you pressed your hands into his chest and pushed him away. “No! I’m going to go outside, and go for a walk. By the time I get back, you better be the hell out of my house!” You stormed past him, your throat was drowning with the tears you were swallowing back. You threw the front door open, stomping down the stairs and walking down the sidewalk. The sky was turning dark with night time, the wind had also began to pick up. Your lungs filled up with chilling air everytime you sobbed, the cold was nipping at the tears on your cheeks turning them into trails on your red skin. But you refused to return. It’s a surreal feeling. Heart break is in every movie, every book, every song. People all over the world who pour out their feelings of pain, and you can sympathise with them, but it’s completely different when it’s you. To realize that this person that brings you so much joy, who accompanies you everywhere and makes you who you are, is going to be gone. You don’t get to wake up to him anymore, you don’t get to hold his hand, you don’t get to kiss him. You do not get Kim Seokjin anymore, and there is no one in the world like him that can replace the memory he’s left. The worst part of it all, is knowing that someone else will. He is someone else’s joy now, leaving you wondering if perhaps you just weren’t good enough to make him stay.

You were walking and shivering for so long now, you couldn’t feel your toes. You finally decided to make it back before it got any colder or darker than it already was. As your house came into view, you stopped when you realized that Jin’s car was gone. You stared wide eyed at the driveway, slowly piecing together what had happened again. And then you started running, your shoes pounding the cement as you sprinted down the road and to your front door, throwing it open. You started to take big unsteady breaths as you looked around, his jacket was gone, his shoes at the door were gone, his papers on the coffee table were gone. You ran up the stairs, down the hallway and into your shared room hurrying to the closet. You flung the large doors open so fast they collided loudly with the wall but you didn’t care, your eyes scanning the small room. The shirts he had hanging up were gone, his pants were gone, his shoes and hats were gone.. Jin was gone. You thought you’d already cried it all out, but then there were more tears pouring down your cheeks. You stumbled back, slumping down besides the bed and bawling your eyes out. So that was it. You’d told him to leave, and he had. You’d held his hand one last time, and now you wouldn’t ever again. Your cries were muffled by your knees as you pulled them up to your chest, clutching onto your jeans.

“Come back.”

Cooking For Two (KSJ x F!Reader)

pairing: ex-boyfriend Seokjin! x reader genre(s): just angst... i'm sorry au(s): exes to exes word count: 1.3k warnings: lots of regret, pining, misunderstandings, mentions of a past fight, Seokjin gets burned, both literally and figuratively rating: PG15

summary: based on this tweet, "seokjin the type to make too much pasta after a breakup because he's used to cooking for two" T_T

a/n: i was itching to write some good angst... and my muse (aka Jin) responded! this is sad, and i made myself cry. tagging @beckysworld7 because you encouraged me hehe <3 this is pretty unedited btw

Seokjin's ears fill with a loud hiss, tearing his gaze away from the soft patter of rain outside his window, and back to the boiling water on the stove. His eyes widen as he takes in the sight of the water overflowing and sizzling on the hot stove top. Cursing internally, he chastises himself for not remembering to put a wooden spoon over the top. It was a habit he rarely forgot, until, of course, his life had been tossed so far afield that he had lost all sense of familiarity.

And so, he continued on, fighting tooth and nail to hold on to the parts of his life that defined who he was before it had happened. However, the breakup had left him broken, empty, watching you take the best parts of him, of you both, and throw them away like they’d never meant anything at all.

He reaches over to pull the frothing pot off the stove, yelping as the blistering heat of the hot metal kisses his bare skin. Shaking his hand, he yells in pain and runs cold water over the burn, searching for some sort of relief. The taste of ash coats his mouth, and he’s not sure whether it’s from the pasta he’d nearly burnt, or the acrid memories that have begun to rise up from the deep place he’d buried them so many months ago.

Pappardelle with homemade bolognese sauce. He’d made the dish a thousand times before. It had been your favorite after every night out, every big celebration, even on rainy days, like today, when you weren't feeling well. The fresh, al dente noodles and the simmering hearty sauce were irrevocably tied to the memory of your relationship, each bite creating a different snapshot in his brain of times that had passed long ago.

Every Friday night since the last time he saw you, Seokjin made two bowls of pasta, sitting alone at the dining table, breathless and begging for you to walk through the door. Waiting until the steaming bowls ran cold, he finally accepted that you weren't coming today. After finishing one bowl, he'd put away the other one, sneaking bites of the cold, rubbery dough throughout the weekend; coming home from another failed date, or right before bed when the longing was at its worst.

He heard Namjoon’s voice in the back of his head, chastising him that the way he was living wasn’t healthy, that it’d been too long since you had gone. Seokjin knew his friend was right. But Seokjin didn’t know how to live his life without you, just like he’d never known how to only make one serving of your favorite recipe. And so he sat there, in the oppressive loneliness of the apartment you two had once shared, and lost himself.

Shuddering from the cold, he gazes over to the warm, calm flames that burn in the fireplace. At the end of it all, he hadn’t even remembered what caused the fight that ended it - all he remembers was the rage, the inferno that had erupted between the two of you. It was like nothing he had experienced before - hot, angry, and scathing. Blazing down everything in its path. The bitter stench of regret had settled deep inside his lungs as your footsteps ran out and closed the door behind you.

The doorbell rings, followed by the distinct sound of three rhythmic knocks, and Seokjin freezes.

Swinging the door open, his dazed mind wonders if it’s all been a dream. Because it’s you, cheeks red from the cold, bundled up in the plaid scarf and red mittens he’d gotten you for your very first Christmas together. You look beautiful, and Seokjin’s heart hurts all over again. Because you’re not his to love anymore.

You look towards his downturned gaze, and immediately think to yourself that it was a mistake coming here. The two of you stand on opposite sides of the threshold, forced into an impasse of your own doing.

Deciding to break the silence, you clear your throat, and Jin’s glassy eyes meet yours, pain contained within their umber depths.

“I’m so sorry for showing up like this,” you gasp, not realizing the words come out as a sob. “But I was making a dish, umm, the pappardelle with bolognese. And I realized I left the Le Creuset pot with you.”

Taking a deep breath, you force air into your lungs, mustering up the strength to continue while feeling the tears prick your eyelashes.

“You probably don’t want to give it back,” you mumble in the smallest voice you can manage. “And it’s unfair of me to ask for it, but I needed to make something for a thing I have to go to and I remembered you, uhmm, I mean your recipe.”

Peering through your lids at Seokjin, you watch him gulp as he tries to force a response, struggling to get the words out.

“I have the pot,” he garbles, voice hoarse. “Take it, and don’t worry about the pasta. I made some. You can have it too.”

Looking your ex-boyfriend in the eyes, the man you thought you’d have forever with, a sob escapes your throat, and your heavy breaths echo in the frosty air as he waits for you to respond.

“W-what do you mean take it?” you whimper, fingers itching underneath your mittens to reach out and brush a stray strand of hair out of his eyes.

“I make it every Friday,” he whispers. “Two bowls. You can take the other bowl with you.”

You watch him disappear into the apartment, coming back out with a sizzling pot of pasta in his hands. He pauses, visage lost deep in contemplation, before the lines in his face disappear and he gives you a soft smile.

“Or,” he goes on. “You could come in and have some with me? There’ll probably be enough leftovers for you to take home with you.”

You feel a pit in your stomach at his proposition, glancing over at his pretty eyes and parted lips as they hopefully await your response.

Looking away, you stare down the hall of the apartment complex, not wanting to meet his gaze as you push your red mitten to the side and Seokjin catches a glimpse at your blanched fingers.

A sparkling, oval-cut diamond sits on your left ring finger, and through your pounding heartbeat, you hear Seokjin let out a pained whine.

“I-, I’m so sorry, Jin. I never should have come,” you weep, knowing that if you looked him in the eyes one more time, you’d fall in love all over again.

Turning on your heels, you leave him devastated, thoughts swimming with uncertainty about the fiancé waiting for you in the parlor of his parents’ house. Knowing deep in your soul that part of your heart would forever belong to the man you left at the threshold, clutching the steaming dish in his hands.

Slamming the pot onto the counter, Jin chokes on his tears, heaving in between deep breaths as he watches you run away through the window.

Lifting the spoon to his lips, he inhales a large bite of the dish, hoping to nurse his broken heart, only to have a dull flavorless bite coat his tongue. He’d forgotten the salt. Mourning the loss of his finesse for the dish that had once warmed his heart, he can’t help but remark at the forfeit of his love for you as well.

He feels rage overtake him, throwing the pot against the wall. The tasteless rubbery mess along with the shattered remnants of the last item of yours he’d kept painting a gut-wrenching portrait as he slumps to the floor.

He doesn’t know how long he stays there, tears leaking from his eyes as his whole body shakes.

When the clock strikes midnight, Seokjin rises, picking up the bland mess in his hands and throwing it in the trash. For good.

A/N pt. 2: Thanks for reading! As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜

he’s so hypnotizing

(cr)

tightrope (pjm) | drabble series m.list

pining, f2fwb2l infidelity on jimin's part

warnings: angst, reader is in love with him but who isn't, swearing, making out, fwb but still sfw and nothing explicit, college parties, mentions of anxiety because reader represents my two brain cells when they have to come up with small talk, jimin calls reader sweetheart because he's a whore who likes to play with her heart 🤠

rating: pg-15

a/n: writing after a long time feels weird but the good kind of weird, its 3am idk what im talking about but here, take a fic

*throws fic at you*

one | two | three | four | five

“"Life is tough, and things don’t always work out well, but we should be brave and go on with our lives.”- BTS VOGUE KOREA

HOME ; kth

pairing: kim taehyung x reader

genre: ANGST!!!, exes2lovers

word count: approx. 2.5k

summary: you run into your ex-boyfriend at a bar. the only problem is that you are still very much in love with him. — anon‘s request is here.

warnings: so. much. angst., crying, alcohol, did i mention angst, kissing, swearing

songs i listened to whilst writing: hold me down — daniel caesar

a/n: my requests were close but anon requested heavy angst and i took that and ran with it. i LOVE writing angst because i enjoy inflicting pain! (just kidding) i hope you like it anon, and i’m sorry it took a while!!

Blind dates sucked ass.

That was the one thing you were sure of, as you sat at the bar, swirling a glass of water — you’d been tempted to order something stronger, because God, you were tired. It was Friday, and you’d had a long week at work. You hadn’t wanted to come on this stupid blind date anyway, but your best friend had insisted. You’d tried telling her that you still hadn’t really moved on from Him, but she wasn’t having it. So here you were, perched at a bar, completely sober and completely alone — the guy had stood you up.

It was humiliating, being the only person in the bar alone. Everybody else was with a group of friends, or with a partner; and judging by the pitying glances some people had thrown you, it was embarrassingly obvious that you’d been ditched.

You huffed our a breath and glanced at your watch. It had been fifty three minutes — it was time you accepted the dude wasn’t showing up. You downed the glass of water, and made to grab your purse — but before you could slide off the stool, a painfully familiar voice sounded behind you.

“YN?”

You froze, your back to the speaker, and a thousand thoughts raced through your mind, tumbling and tripping all over each other. And then you turned around and suddenly your chest was tight and your throat was closing and your eyes were stinging because it was Him, it was Kim Taehyung standing right in front of you.

The first thing you realised was that he looked good. No, good wasn’t the right word — he looked better than good. Even when the two of you had dated — because that’s what you were, you were exes — he had always been beautiful.

“Tae?” you croaked in surprise.

His already round eyes widened even further when you called him that, and you cursed yourself silently. You couldn’t call him that, not anymore.

“YN,” he repeated in a soft breath, lowering the mask on his face, and there was something you couldn’t read behind the surprise in his eyes.

He used to call you angel, not YN. He used to say it was because you were his guardian angel.

You let out a breathy laugh. “Wow — I — hi! What — what are you doing here?”

Taehyung smiled slightly and took a seat next to you at the bar. His jeans brushed your bare knee as he did so and you swallowed thickly. He gestured to the two people standing next to him, and with a jolt you realised it was Hobi and Jimin underneath those face masks. “You remember Hobi and Jimin, right?” Taehyung asked cautiously.

You nodded, reaching up to hug the two men tightly. “Yeah, of course I do!” Taehyung’s friends weren’t easy to forget. All six of them were so welcoming and bright and happy, that soon into your relationship, you’d felt they were your best friends too. You missed them.

Hobi and Jimin hugged you back tightly, full of how have you been and how is Jia, and how is your job and did you know how much we missed you.

Then Jimin exhaled and clapped his hands. “Hyung, let’s dance,” he declared, grabbing Hoseok and dragging him to the dance floor as you giggled.

Taehyung remained in his seat,and he quirked a brow at you, a habit you knew so well it hurt. “So, what are you doing here? On your own?”

You laughed slightly bitterly. “You remember my best friend Jia?” He nodded. “She set me up on some blind date today. The guy didn’t show up.”

Taehyung’s face dropped. “Bastard,” he cursed emphatically. “I’m sorry, angel.”

Both of you froze at the nickname, which had slipped so automatically off his tongue. You exhaled shakily and then shrugged. “Don’t be. I didn’t really want to be here anyway.”

You blinked and then decided to give Taehyung the easy way out of this conversation — you would leave and he could enjoy the rest of his night. “I was actually just about to leave.”

You made to get up, but a warm hand grabbing your own stopped you. “Wait!” Taehyung blurted. “At least let me buy you a drink,” he added slower. “I want — wanted to catch up. Only — only if you want to, of course!” he added hastily, and you could tell how flustered he was getting, with reddened cheeks and stumbling words.

You smiled softly. “I’d love to,” you said, and sat back down. Then you darted a glance to the dance floor — “They won’t mind?”

He shrugged. “Nah. I wouldn’t be able to keep up with their dancing anyway.”

“I don’t know,” you teased lightly. “From what I remember, you’re just as good as them.”

He shook his head vehemently, a laugh bubbling out of his chest. Something in your chest tightens at the sound, because God, you forgot how well you knew him. You knew every nervous habit, what every flick of the eyes meant — you knew he hated half the alcoholic drinks in existence, loved Bing Crosby — you knew how he’d dance to jazz music while he made you pancakes in the morning. You knew how he’d grab you by the arm and force you to dance with him. How he’d feed you a bite of anything he ordered, even if you ordered the same thing — how he’d insist of having a bite of your own and claim that yours tasted better.

There was a lump in your throat, and suddenly you couldn’t meet his eyes. Your eyes flicked to the bartender, who Taehyung had just flagged down.

“Soju for me, and…“ he glanced to you with an easy smile that sent your heart fluttering. “You still drink margaritas, right?”

You nodded, and as the bartender left, you couldn’t help a strained smile. “Can’t believe you still remember my order.”

Something in his face softened. “Of course I remember,” he murmured. And suddenly the air was thick with tension, thick with all the things the two of you never said, and all the things you did say.

The breakup last year was one of the hardest things that ever happened to you. You had never stopped loving Taehyung — how could you? He was so easy to love, so hard to hate. You couldn’t hate him — he could hate you, though. The way you left him; you were letting him go, because how could you make him stay with you? When he was one of the most famous men alive?

Simply put, he was too good for you, and while you knew that, he didn’t. He’d begged you to stay, and you hadn’t. It was really your decision to leave, and yet here you were with tears stinging the back of your eyes and your nails digging into the palm of your skin.

“Don’t do that,” he said suddenly, and he took your hands gently in his, carefully unfurling them so your nails were no longer digging onto your skin. “You’ll hurt yourself,” he murmured, but you could still hear him over the thumping bass in the bar.

You swallowed as you watched him bent over your hands. Your throat was closing up, painfully tight and no matter how much you swallowed, it stayed that way. “Taehyung,” you choked out, and he finally looked up from your hands, and his expression immediately morphed into one of concern.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said decisively, and throwing a bill down on the bar and shouting to the bartender to forget the drinks, he took your hand and led you outside the bar. Luckily, people were too wrapped up in each other to notice BTS’ V holding a random person’s hand.

He didn’t let go of your hand once the two of you were outside, either. Instead, he kept it in his as he pulled you down the street, and the scene was so familiar but so painful that you could have sobbed. The two of you had gone for late night walks often, and it had always been just like this — him leading the way, your hand tiny inside his. And then he’d tell you you looked cold and give you his stupid scarf, the scarf you still had at the back of your wardrobe because he had refused to take it back, telling you that you would be cold without it. What he didn’t know was that you felt cold without him.

Taehyung led you to a park bench — not just any park bench, your park bench, the same park bench the two of you always sat at, whether it was one of your midnight adventures or an afternoon walk or an early morning coffee shop visit. The two of you sat in silence, but he never released your hand. He clung to it tightly — you remembered that about him. He always clung to your hand like a lifeline, like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

Before, you would have leant your head on his shoulder. Maybe asked him to sing for you. Ask him to cuddle you. No matter what you asked, he always did it without complaint — until you asked him to let you go.

Taehyung was the one to break the silence first. “You left without saying goodbye,” he whispered, and there was something so excruciatingly pained in the way his voice cracked that finally forced the tears out of your eyes until they were slipping down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” you choked out. “Tae, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, I really — I don’t — ”

He cut you off with a gentle, “Shh.” And then he was pulling you into his arms, smoothing your hair down. “Don’t cry,” he begged. “Please don’t cry, I hate it when you cry. It’s okay, angel, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

“It’s not,” you sobbed into his chest. “It’s not okay, I hurt you really bad and I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he repeated thickly, and that was when you realised he was crying too.

“I’m such a bitch,” you said angrily, pulling back and wiping tears from your face. “I hurt you so much and I didn’t even give you the reason.”

Because it was true — you hadn’t told Taehyung that you weren’t good enough for him; you knew he wouldn’t understand, wouldn’t believe it, and so you simply hadn’t given a reason, just asked him to let you go. And he’d fought you, begged you to stay, until both of your throats were hoarse from fighting and crying, and then he’d given in. “If that’s really what you want,” he’d said, and you had felt your heart shatter at those words because of course it wasn’t what you wanted. But you had needed to do it, for him.

“It’s okay,” he repeated now, carefully wiping tears from your cheek — in vain, though, because they just kept falling.

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed again. “I’m really sorry, I should have told you why, I really don’t — ”

“How many times do I have to tell you it’s okay until you believe me?” he said sadly and he pulled you back against his chest, his arms wrapping around you tightly. You remembered him holding you like this all the time, and you’d told him, ages ago, it had made you feel safe. He’d loved that.

“I asked you to let me go because I thought I wasn’t good enough for you,” you confessed finally, your voice small, and muffled by the fabric of his clothes.

You felt him stiffen. “What?” he said sharply, and you sucked in a breath. You knew this would be exactly how he reacted.

He pulled back to cradle your face in his huge hands. “What the fuck, YN?” he said tightly. “You — you thought what? Why the fuck would you ever think that?”

Your eyes flicked away from his intense gaze, and again, you swallowed painfully. “I’m sorry,” you repeated, your voice small.

“Angel,” he whispered. “Look at me.”

You looked at him, looked at the tears filling his eyes and the tremble of his lips. He was so close to you, so close that it hurt.

“You idiot,” he saidsoftly, without any real feeling behind it. “You were — you are — always, always enough for me. You were more than enough for me, you made me so fucking happy! You were everything to me, why couldn’t you see that? Why can’t you see that?”

Your only response was to hitch a breath, voice breaking as you murmur his name. “Tae...”

But he wasn’t finished. “If anything, I’m sorry,” he said thickly. “That I didn’t show you enough how much you meant to me.”

You shook your head. “No. No, that’s not true, you showed me it more than enough times, Tae, this wasn’t your fault.”

And then he dropper his head on your shoulder, pushing it into the crook of your neck, and you held him there, suddenly overwhelmed with memories because the two of you had sat here on this same park bench in the same position countless times, but this time it was killing you both.

“I’m sorry,” he was mumbling into your neck. “Please don’t go.”

The last sentence stole your breath, because you were thrust back to the memory of that night, the night where you left him. He’d asked you a thousand times, please don’t go. And then he’d said he’d let you go, but he‘d asked you to stay one last night, and he’d looked so heartbroken you didn’t have the heart to refuse him. And so you slept one last night in his arms, wtih his head pushed into the crook of your neck and the remnants of tears on both your faces. You’d woken up before him, and his limbs were entangled with yours and he was holding you so tightly, like he was afraid you would slip away.

He was right. You did exactly that. You slipped out of his arms. You made him pancakes, and left them on the kitchen surface. And then you’d pressed one gentle kiss to the forehead of the sleeping man, and walked straight out of his life.

“YN, angel, please,” he said now, raising his head to look you in the eye beseechingly. “Please, can we try again? I need you, it always hurts without you with me, I really need you.”

You hesitated, and then you wiped the tears form your face and tried a shaky smile. “Yes. Yes, please, I want to try again, I want to stay with you.”

Something in his face brightened and he pulled you into his arms even tighter Han before and then he was kissing the top of your head over and over, whispering, ”God, I missed you like hell.”

“I missed you too,” uou whispered hoarsely into him, and then the two of you leant back to look each other in the eye. You don’t know how made the first move, just that suddenly the two of you were kissing, melting into each other — and finally, the tightness in your chest loosened. You were home.

fic rec: top 10 bts college aus

You Came For Me (You Stayed For Us) by kuragecharms – Seokjin is a single parent Jungkook meets during lifting, this is actually so cute

everything you make, you make well by jellyfishes – Taehyung moves into Jimin’s apartment during exam season and A LOT of cuteness ensues

twenty-four by fruitily – Taehyung handcuffs Jungkook and Yoongi together while they’re sleeping as a social experiment 

of ginger, strawberries and Serratia marcescens by Anonymous – this. is. so. good. omg fake dating but not tropey i love itt

King of the Library, Knight of His Trade by madigraye – kinda long but super cute

it’s just you (all the time) by imotikon – fwb au

Beta Tau Sigma by bazooka – the ultimate college au. namjin + fraternity  

Forever Young: Boy’s Side [Seokjin Walkthrough + Review] by numberts  – adorable jinkook au

and i want you (do you want me too?) by wowoashley (orphan_account) – love this  

Paper Chase by SlimeQueen – omg. yoonmin roommates au this is v good and v nsfw

the absolute prettiest 🤍

Hi! I’m the last ask you got about fics tar are similar to imprint by Arctic grey I don’t know if you could tell but I was wondering if there’s any bts fics you have I don’t know if it was specified in my first ask

i got ur ask!! sorry for the late answer, but yes, i’ve read imprints! it’s one of the best fwb aus under the bts tag, in my opinion. i have a few you might like, with the novel-like feel you mentioned and the fwb aspect.

these are personal favorites i ended up bookmarking (which means i really find them good). i hope you end up liking them too! :)

obligated to say that if you’re looking for namjin specifically, all of bazooka’s namjin works are exactly what you’re looking for. otherwise:

[E, 217k] Where The Heart Is by ??? (orphaned account) pairing: taegi

[M, 12k] Inward peripheries by murkya (i’m a huge fan of their characterization!) pairing: yoonkook

i’m not sure if you’re into yoonkook but if you’re looking for good worldbuilding, characterization and a novel-like length/feel, i highly suggest reading anything from notyoongs. here are some fics under their account that i personally love.

[T, 27k] everything i never told you by notyoongs pairing: yoonkook

[E, 107k] something in the water by notyoongs (this is a whole novel) pairing: yoonkook

[E, 109k] all the light we cannot see by notyoongs pairing: yoonkook

[E, 63k] rewrite the stars by notyoongs (highlight in story!) pairing: yoonkook

and back to our regular programming~

[E, 51k] Say My Name (And I'll Lie in the Sound) by fadetomorrow pairing: taegi

[E, 41k] i wrote these for you by buffcooky  pairing: namgi

[E, 66k] How much to give and how much to take by Aguacates pairing: namkook

[T, 32k] Of (Accidental) Felons and Harlequins by CheekyBrunette, CynoDemure (highlight in characterization and dialogue!) pairing: namgi

[M, 28k] we're risking it all for illegal love by dmingi pairing: yoonmin

[M, 26k] Spanish Doll by saengie pairing: namjin

enjoy! :) <3