When You Start To Like And Suffer For A Shipp Without Actually Consuming The Original Work It Comes From

To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.

Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.

Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.

Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.

The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.

The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.

---

IT FINALLY HAPPENED!! COME AND GET YOUR REWARD Y'ALL!! SPICYNOODLE IS OFFICIALLY CANON!!! (In the AU)

Holy shit Red Son true form is taaaaaalllll (MK our short King baby boy you better climb your man)

And yeah, they are in a cell in heaven, and MK freedom is on the line, and this is the most crazy and out of the place time and place for this. But it's THEM. Of COURSE they would have their first kiss in the most crazy of the situations.

I don't know if I have the words for how much stupid silly "12-years-old-girl-screaming-energy" happiness gived me this chapter. I had 2 weeks of 11 hours of work every single day, I lost countless hours of sleep and hadn't seen the sun in days, but man everyday after 7pm, knowing that i got to draw this part was what at the end of the day gave me back almost all the energy and motivatiom.

They are so stupid and in love your honor, I love them so much.

Shadowpeach Bio Parent AU (PREV / FIRST / NEXT)

Next part is coming on December 8th 2PM

Vertical & & horizontal resolution wallpaper of the kiss under the cut!!!

Y'all are gonna have to pry Brooklyn 99 from my cold dead hands

Athena: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

Odysseus: We're chopsticks!

Athena: Well... that's cute!

Telemachus: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?

Penelope: No, it means that if you take one away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

If Hades raised Nico and Bianca Part 26 (Babysitting)

Artemis, entering: Apollo, where is- Who is that?

Apollo, holding baby Nico: Hm? Him? Oh, this is Uncle Hades' son. His name is Nico. He's squishy

Artemis: Well, he is adorable *approaches*

Apollo: *turning away* Hey, back off. He's my squishy. Get your own.

Artemis:

Bianca: *tugs on Artemis' clothes*

Artemis: *looks down* Oh...well hello there. *picks her up* What's your name?

---

Bianca: Uncle, look! I found a seashell!

Poseidon: Oh, that's a pretty one, Bianca. It's shiny, too.

Bianca: Can I keep it?

Poseidon: Of course

Nico, pulling Poseidon's arm: Uncle Popo! Uncle Popo!

Poseidon: Woah. Slow down there, Nico. What's wrong?

Nico: Look! *shows baby turtles crawling to the sea*

Poseidon: Oh, look at that. They're going to the sea for the first time.

Nico: We have to help them! *tries to pick one up*

Poseidon: Uph! Not so fast, little one. We can't do that.

Nico: But-

Poseidon: They have to do it on their own. Or else they'll never learn how.

---

Bianca: AARRGH!

Ares: *sigh* C'mon. One more time

Bianca: I don't wanna anymore. This is stupid. >:(

Ares: Look, it's normal to fall on your first few times.

Bianca: But I've been practicing for months now.

Ares: Doesn't matter; you'll still fall. Doesn't matter how good you are. You'll still make mistakes. But if you want to be better than now, then you have to keep going. Understand?

Bianca: Yes, Mr. Ares.

Ares: Alright, c'mon. Stand up, dust yourself off, and let's perfect this dance.

---

Nico, playing with Hera's peacocks: Hehe, hehe. Pretty.

Hera: Who are you?

Nico: Hm?

Hera: How did you get in here?

Nico: I-I...

Hera: What are you doing in here?

Nico: ...the peacocks...

Hera: What?

Nico: The peacocks were hungry. So I gave them food. They took me in here.

Hera:

Nico: I'm sorry, Ms. Hera.

Hera: *sigh then picks him up* You shouldn't be here, little one. Olympus is not a playground for you to wander on.

Nico: I'm sorry.

Hera: And it's very rude to enter someone's chambers without their permission.

---

Aphrodite, waking up: *looks in the mirror to see her hair full of flowers* What the-

Aphrodite: *looks back in her bed*

Nico: *sleeping with a basket of flowers on the side of the bed*

...

Bianca: Ms. Aphrodite

Aphrodite, braiding Bianca's hair: Yes, Bianca?

Bianca: What if I don't want to fall in love? Will you get mad at me?

Aphrodite: Of course not. Love isn't for everyone. Some people prefer to focus on other things like their work or something else.

Bianca: But...I don't wanna be lonely

Aphrodite: You don't have to be. Just because you don't want to fall in love with others doesn't mean they don't love you. And it wont always be a romantic kind of love.

Bianca: What do you mean?

Aphrodite: Hmm, you know how you love your brother very much? Well, that's a different kind of love. Or when you love your friends, that's also a different kind of love.

Bianca: So...you'd be okay if I never get a husband?

Aphrodite: Of course I would. You'd only be hurting yourself if you're forcing yourself to love someone you don't really love. *finishes braiding her hair* And, done!

Bianca, looks in the mirror: ...wow

Aphrodite: Do you like it?

Bianca: I love it...I look like mama

---

Nico: O-once...up-upon...a time... *trying to read Puss in Boots*

Athena: You're doing well, Nico.

Bianca, pointing to a word in her book: Ms. Athena, what does this word mean? Exqui-Exquisite?

Athena: It's an adjective. When something is exquisite, it means it looks beautiful.

---

Nico: Choo choo! Uncle Hepha! Can I play with choo choo?

Hephaestus: Sure, why not? Just don't touch it, okay? You'll hurt yourself.

Bianca: Uncle Hephaestus, can you please fix this? *shows him a trinket*

Hephaestus: What is it? *takes it*

Bianca: It was our mama's music box. When you open it, it should make a pretty sound and the people in the middle should dance around. But they stopped dancing.

Hephaestus: Alright. I'll try and fix it. But I can't guarantee you that I can

---

Nico: HAHAHAHAHA! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!

Hermes: Nico, we've run around 5 times already. You're gonna throw up at this point

Nico: No, I'm not.

Hermes: Yes, you are. That's enough running around.

Nico: Aww :(

Hermes: How about instead, we go and prank your Uncle Apollo? :D

Nico: YEA!

Hermes: What are we thinking? Cut the reigns on his chariot? Cover his chambers in tin foil? Shoot him in the butt?

---

Zeus: Ah! Hello, little ones. Why don't you come here and give your uncle Zeus a hug?

Bianca:

Nico:

Zeus: Come on

Nico: *throws the dummy sword Zagreus gave him*

Bianca: *throws the dummy sword Achilles gave her*

Zeus: Ow!

Hades: ...good work, children! :D

---

when the song is wandering idk i didn’t play it (<- i watched a playthrough you see)

---

Oh my god the notes……. I’m in fear. 6.5 million people…… Jeez.

---

Penelope: hey since you’re “not my kind and gentle husband” could you move that wedding bed bc I’m actually supposed to share that with my husband so…

Odysseus: *has just killed 108 people* *has not seen his wife in twenty years* *goes batshit at this bc THATS THE OLIVE TREE WHERE THEY FIRST MET!!*

Telemachus: oh hell nah, idgaf who you are no one yells at my-

Penelope: NO?! YOU WONT?! YEAH, I KNOW BECAUSE YOURE MY MAN! SO DONT PULL THAT EMO SHIT AGAIN OR YOULL SLEEP IN THE WEAPONS ROOM

…

Telemachus: my parents are perfect for each other

Icons, truly