-Illustratum Paradoxon

Take care of yourselves 

The anxiety attack after you set a boundary is crazy. My hands are shaky. Palms are sweaty. I’m freaking livid! I just don’t understand it?! I’m cursed I swear. My grandmother would yell at me CONSTANTLY “Your mouth is gonna get you in trouble” little did she know how powerful such words were. People love me cuz I’m real and hate me cuz I’m too blunt! Or because I’m too moody or too “to myself” um why is it so wrong to keep to yourself? Why is it wrong to like to keep your circle small? Maybe it’s a coping mechanism to protect what’s mine or maybe it’s the only way I know how to protect my energy. Whatever it is. I DESPISE when people try to impose on me. Don’t push me to be social please. Don’t come over uninvited. These are triggers. I’m so sorry. I don’t like uncertainty or surprises unfortunately. I’ve been disappointed too many times. I have opened that door too many times. So now I leave it shut and protect me and my own. Ok so the boundary is set. Why am I freaking out? It’s the response! It’s me obsessing over if that person will talk to me again because I set a boundary! It’s me being mad I had to set one in the first place. But then again, High expectations are future disappointments. I’m tired of people having adult tantrums when another adult is clear on their wants/unwants. How dare you be mad at me for knowing what I want!?

-Illustratum Paradoxon

A sensitive Artist who honors healthy detachment.

-Illustratum Paradoxon

An enchanting angel who likes to escape to the sea ♥

😱

-Illustratum Paradoxon

Me introducing myself like hi I romanticise everything, overthink way too much, live 85% of my life in my head and still can’t believe I’m a Real Person

I think I’m done trying to be everyone else’s versions of who I am. We all perceive this world differently. I just want to see me from my own lens for once. I’m tired of fitting everyone else’s mold of perfection. What if my way is the right way for me. Your way is the right way for you. Why won’t we embrace our differences too? Let me be. You continue to be you.

-Illustratum Paradoxon

♌️ Rising

-Illustratum Paradoxon

I needed this. 😭

You don’t need to overcome your disability or mental illness to be “worthy”.

There’s a lot of focus on people “defying the odds” and showing that their disability “can’t hold them back”.

But here’s the thing... sometimes your disability does hold you back. Sometimes, no matter how much you want to, you can’t do some things.

And it’s okay. You’re still worthy.