A Magical Artifact That Puts Someone’s Kill Count Above Their Heads Explodes At A Wayne Gala. Some

The batkids are known for sharing clothes amongst each other, so imagine everyone’s surprise when Jason won’t let them borrow his hoodie. Upon further inspection they find out it’s Roy’s hoodie. This causes a chain reaction and now Dick won’t let anyone borrow his Wally hoodie, Tim won’t let anyone borrow his Kon hoodie, Damian with Jon’s clothes(which there was no need for because Damian’s clothes never fit anyways), Duke with Izzy’s, Cass with Steph, and so on. After this “civil war” they all reluctantly agree to end this and all clothes (their own or not) is up for grabs. (minus Damian and Jon, of course)

bonus is when their partners steal the batkids clothes only to find out later that it’s definitely not a wayne kids clothing item.

Roy: That’s my sweater?

Wally: Yeah well Kon’s wearing my pants so…

Izzy: I’m probably wearing one of your boxers, it’s for sure not Dukes

Kon: how do you know?

Izzy: Because Duke doesn’t own Minecraft boxers???

Steph: Oh yeah sorry, those are mine

Gwen, to Hobie: Hey, did you know that Miles stayed up all of last night reading up on colonialism just so he could talk to you about it?

Miles, ears burning: I have no idea what you’re talking about

I hate the implication that the Spider-Man in our universe is the goddamn popsicle

*travels to the other side of the country* whoa i’ve never seen these biomes bef

post cancelled i forgot biome was a real term and not just a minecraft word

a snake is wrapped around the Paladin's neck and crawling into her mouth

Paladin: ...right, I'm going to bite down.

Rogue: Ooh, that's gotta be an automatic hit! Since it's in her mouth?

DM: Yep, roll damage.

Paladin: Hang on. This is a physical attack. And we've established it's weak to radiant damage.

Paladin: I cast my last Divine Smite. Through my teeth.

table erupts with utter glee

DM: Oh, that's clever.

Ranger, crowing: Divine Bite!

I've recently fallen back in my DC Robins Era and everytime I see a reference to Tim's photography my first thought is "nice I love photography being mentioned in popular media"

However, my second thought is "how big is his fucking camera lens"

This child is taking presumably high quality photos of Heros In The Middle Of Fights/Patrol AT NIGHT WITH A VERY SMALL AMOUNT OF FLORESCENT LIGHTING FROM THE BUILDINGS

That lens would Have to be At Least 600 dollars (on the low end) (he is rich so I'll let that part slide) but there is no fucking way a 9 year old is lugging that giant ass lens around all night

Pov: You are the 2nd Robin, it's 2am and you turn around to see a Child 2 rooftops away point this shit at u

i've been thinking about hobie spiderverse since i came out of the movie theater, about how on a superficial level he acts like every other stereotypically alt character, stealing and instigating and bantering and being chaotic and rebellious and looking Cool™ but on a second look it's so so clear that every single thing he does is motivated by kindness and compassion towards his friends in general and miles in particular, and that's so viscerally truly punk of him

the already famous palm suggestion that makes miles break out of miguel's containment thing. miles initially reads this as condescending but hobie's genuinely trying to help

already he's looking out for miles by trying to keep him away from hq, a place where he knows miles isn't welcome and might be in danger

now, they get to hq and he immediately starts lifting stuff to homebrew a watch for miles, a guy he's known for five minutes (bc you can't convince me he didn't already have a bunch prepped for gwen and the other spider-people he trusts). he even lampshades it with the line above.

he's questioned miles' motives to join the spider society and he knows they're the same as his own: it's literally just to get a watch, to have a means to travel dimentions, to see his friends, to build community. he's already made the decision to grant that ability to miles without subjugating him to the oppressive restrictions and requirements of the spider society. at this point we know he's strongly ideologically opposed to the society and he later in this scene admits he's only there to look out for gwen, just like miles

this one makes me insane. it's a "are you safe at home in your dimension? do you have one? do you need a place to stay?" bc we know he's given one to gwen, who's not safe and does not have nice parents and has been crashing in hobie's dimension for the previous months

and then he tries again to warn miles off the spider society

and when push comes to shove and all the other spider-people are set on stopping miles from going home and changing his timeline he's the only one in miles' corner

btw notice how the palms thing is the first and last thing he says to miles in this film?

anyway. he was in this movie for like 15 minutes tops, showed up exclusively to hype up his friends and protect them by whatever means necessary, adoption papers and illegal interdimensional tech included, and he looked that cool the whole time while doing it. most character ever.

Geological horror. You find a geode and crack it open and the crystal lining its walls is human blood that can't be genetically matched to anyone. You find a human skeleton but every one of the bones is made from rock, a rock that you know can't be whittled into those shapes. You find layers of clay and loam that sport ancient fossils at the top and the still-rotting corpses of modern animals at the bottom.