A.F. Vandevorst Installation For Arnhem Mode Biennale 2011

I gotta say lesbianism is my own personality trait im exactly what the stereotype says

i like playing dumb about not knowing things so someone who cares about me will gently explain it to me and i will feel loved once in a while

i also enjoy peoples faces lighting up when they get to explain something to me

i think intimacy as rubbing lotion up and down the other person's thighs, soft kisses to the forehead and always a hand on their lower back

Is it so hard to hope for love

thinking about that quote by anne carson, "I am someone who did not die when I should have died." and yeah. im wandering the earth with an empty heart and a filled mind like a sick little ghost. it hurts even more when i dont fit into the atmosphere around me and everything feels drowsy and unsettled. im not meant to be here i was meant to disperse and dissolve and disappear years ago and u can tell because i dont fit into this world. im not part of this world like everyone else. im too empty to care and live and love

and i wish to be angelic and for plants and flowers to grow in the path i walk and not because i am holy but because i am so beautiful they cannot resist

but i also wish to drink all of the water on this world and rub the dirt onto my body until i become part of it and the plants and flowers become part of me and the water flows from the pores of my body and we all become lost in the complete tranquillity and lunacy of it all and my mind drowns in the middle and i no longer exist as a form of anything but a planet in the vast universe of vaster universes and the milky way swallows me up as we wander together

numbness follows me like a ghost to partner with the empty heart. i shed tears for the first time tonight since turning eighteen

it feels right that it was over my mother

to love like a dog

ada limón, roadside attractions with the dogs of america // emily wilson, the odyssey // u.k // andrew kane, how to be a dog // mitski, i’m your man // u.k // u.k

i shouldve lied about my age on here