Latest Posts by jenna12381 - Page 2

Thieves In Time Redux: Rewriting Episode 3

Listen to Toad Town - Blue Streamer Removal while reading this.

When it comes to rewriting Thieves In Time, one episode I can't wait to get to is Clan Of The Cave Raccoon.

I get it. Clan Of The Cave Raccoon is nobody's favorite episode. But I believe I know how to fix it.

Many things will stay the same. Our heroes being stranded in prehistory, Carmelita storming off, Bob being the ancestor in need of saving, and The Grizz being our arc villain.

One thing that won't be the same (besides Penelope now being part of the adventure) is how Murray is treated.

I stated earlier that Murray won't be going through much of a character arc in this rewrite.

While that's still true, he will fall into a bit of a depression right after the events of Getting Stronger. Not because of Bob, but because of Penelope.

You see, she's going to be sent out to demonstrate all the things Bob has to do during Getting Stronger. There's just one tiny issue... She's feeling under the weather. Still, she pushes through long enough to get it all done. After the mission is cleared, though... she passes out. Turns out she's not just a little under the weather. She's very sick.

This places our heroine on bed rest for the next several missions as per a very worried Bentley's orders.

It's understandable, then, that Murray would feel partially responsible because Penelope (or Sis as he's been calling her) passed out on his watch.

On Penelope's end, being stuck on bed rest gives her the time she needs to really think about what she's done. I'll briefly go into what leads into her change of heart...

She's seen what her treachery has led to during her journey across time.

She's also seen what her dishonesty could lead to through Sly and Carmelita, especially if she still has the gall to defend herself if she gets found out.

And finally, the boys taking care of her while she's sick ends up being the final push she needs to see the error of her ways.

Oh, and she gets better in time for OP: Jurassic Thievery.

I already spoke about how Sly and Carmelita are doing in this post. They're... worse off than in canon.

Now for the main reason I'm looking forward to this episode... The boss fight.

I've already mentioned the premise in earlier posts: Murray and Penelope team up for a boss fight. Helps that the latter has just gone through her change of heart, and without anybody knowing.

I'm also using the opportunity to follow up on a few things that happened in Episode 2. One of those things is how Bentley has progressed in his character arc.

Last episode, we saw our favorite turtle promise to tone down his overprotectiveness towards Penelope after the events of Jail Break. Before this boss fight starts, we get to see him decide not to interfere. Although maybe letting her (and Murray) fight a giant-ass ice skating bear is a bit much...

Thankfully, his faith in her pays off. But let's go over his thought process throughout that entire scene...

"She can't do this!" "He's going to snap her in half!" "She's doomed!" "Why did I bring her along with us?!"

"No. She can do this." "This amazing woman broke me out of jail and fought off a career pirate!" "She'll be fine." "Why am I doubting her?"

"I promised her." "She deserves my respect." "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still worried, but… I need to let her soar." "Penelope, show that guy exactly why you're our secret weapon. Our Wild Card. And make me proud."

At around the same time, we have our Villain Of The Week, The Grizz, recognize Penelope. She's shaken, but is able to convince Murray not to believe the villain.

(Not looking forward to writing that scene, BTW. Mainly because of a certain bear's dialogue...)

Seeing Sly, Bentley, Carmelita, and Bob watching this, she convinces Murray to let her finish The Grizz off. He agrees. Now cue what may be one of the biggest missed opportunities in the franchise.

I have to say... This Murray/Penelope boss fight might just end up being my favorite of the lot. I've got a basic outline of how I want the fight scene to go, but actually finishing it might take a while... And yes, there will still be ice skating. From both heroes and our villain.

Anyway, the boss fight ends with Penelope finishing The Grizz off, with help from Murray.

Funny how right when Bentley is learning to let go, Penelope is learning to ask for help when she needs it.

The end of this episode has our heroine, after the van gets fixed, get her chance to return home to Paris. Out of a sense of guilt and responsibility, she refuses, wanting (and perhaps needing) to see this through to the very end.

Our five heroes then set off for their next destination, with Penelope now game for anything this wild adventure has to throw at her.

Yes, Thieves In Time Redux is still in the works.

Yes, it is incredibly challenging to write.

No, I'm not looking forward to writing the villains' dialogue. Or the ancestors. The worst part is improvising their existing lines from the vanilla game. And giving them new lines.

Bentley’s First Mission (Disco Demolitions) Appreciation Post

Sly: How’re you holding up out there in the field?

Bentley (obviously not fine voice): Fine, fine…I’m just fine.

One of my favorite Sly 2 missions is Disco Demoltions, because it’s at once adorable and just so funny. And BEAUTIFUL just look at the pretty colors and all the neat design details, like how the spiral in the middle of the dance floor is designed to look like Dmitri’s tail! But a Sly Cooper Trilogy level being Really Pretty is sorta just…that’s just how Sly Cooper Trilogy levels be

This mission is the first time you ever play as Bentley. But if you’re an 8-year-old who’s nervous about playing as Bentley–it’s his first real solo mission, so Bentley is also very nervous about playing as Bentley!

It takes place in a building Specifically Designed to make Bentley uncomfortable. If someone asked you “where would a nerdy awkward turtle feel like he Really Does Not Belong” the correct answer would be “the dance floor of a funky disco.” Like… imagine how much this mission’s tone would Not Work if it took place anywhere else…it wouldn’t be hilariously anxious/awkward if you were bombing Dmitri’s wine cellar. It HAS to be a disco dance floor 

Your goal is to bomb the pillars and shake the disco ball loose. But this nightclub isn’t guarded by the little guards, but by the Giant Scary Flashlight Guards™– who tiny Bentley stands no chance against in a fight. And because there’s basically nowhere to run you have to sleep-dart them before they catch you or you’re pretty much dead.

But if you miss a sleep-dart shot/misplace a bomb, the Giant Scary Guard™ will spot you… so the mission is always one tiny mistake away from disaster. If you have bad aim/have never done it before (like if you’re a kid playing the game for the first time) a Giant Scary Guard™ WILL catch you and you will have to frantically RUN and BOMB and RUN!!! It’s a series of nerve-wracking explosions and “I GOtta hURRY and BOMb him BEFORE HE WAKES UP” as Bentley’s gameplay animation looks utterly anxious and terrified….

But

But all the while that funky disco music is playing

So its like.

BLAM! BOMB EXPLOSION! (Guard shoots you, Bentley screams) *funky nightclub music goes ‘’Ooh-OOOOOOOOOOH”*

Man, Sanzaru really saw my man Bentley get some bitches and said "absolutely not".

Me looking at fanart of characters being friends who are also friends in canon: *practically in tears clenching my first over my chest* ouhgg they're so friends

hi! I have a question, how do I write the movements of a ballerina? I'm writing a novel and now I'm at the part where my protagonist is dancing ballet for an audience in the theater. Could you help me with how to write her movements? I'm in doubt about how to write this

Some Ballet Vocabulary

Adagio: “Slow tempo.” In ballet, a tempo in which the dancer moves slowly and gracefully.

Allegro: “Brisk tempo.” In ballet, a tempo in which the dancer moves briskly and excitedly.

Allongé: “Elongated.” An adjective used to describe poses that are stretched and elongated, like an arabesque.

Arabesque: A pose in which the dancer stands on one leg—either straight or demi-plié, and either flat-footed or en pointe—while extending the other leg straight behind at a right angle. The shoulders are square with the arms held to create a long line from fingertips to toes.

Arriére: "Backwards." A move that indicates backwards movement or motion.

Ballón: “To bounce.” A light jump. Used to indicate the delicacy of the movement or jump.

Chaseé: To slide.

Elevé: A rise upward onto the toes.

En l’air: "In the air." Indicates a movement or leg position that is held in the air.

Fondu: To melt (a melting action).

Frappé: To strike (like lighting a match on the floor).

Glissade: To glide.

Jeté: To throw.

Pas de deux: A “dance for two,” or duet, in classical ballet.

Petit saut: A small jump.

Pirouette: A complete turn of the body on one foot, either turning inward or outward, with the body centered over the supporting leg, the arms propelling the turn but remaining stationary during the turn, and the eyes “spotting” a fixed point while the head quickly turns.

Promenade: A slow pivot of the body while standing on one leg.

Rèvèrence: “Bow”. Traditional port-de-bras and port-de-corps showing respect and gratitude to the ballet master or audience.

Tournant: “Turn.” A term paired with a movement to indicate a body turn.

Variation: A solo in classical ballet.

Although ballet actually began in Italy, it was formalized in France in the 17th century. Ballet terminology has remained largely in the French language. Ballet dancers across the world learn and can communicate with this universal ballet vocabulary.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: Word Lists ⚜ Dance

Hope this helps with your writing! If I wasn't able to include the right words you need, you can go through the sources. Still, remember your readers when describing the scene — perhaps some of them might not be familiar with these terminologies.

Thieves In Time Redux Meme #19

I did another thing.

That one meme, but with a wholesome twist.

Basically it's Penelope's character arc, but super abridged.

The yappers 🐢🐭

Thieves In Time Redux has a lot of firsts. For example, I've never seen other rewrites...

…have Penelope be responsible for the story happening while joining the boys for the adventure from the beginning.

...have Sly feel bad about not only faking amnesia, but ditching his friends on Kaine Island.

...have Murray only refer to Penelope as "Sis".

…have Penelope participate in Jail Break with Carmelita and Tennessee.

…have the boys be confined separately during Jail Break.

…have someone (Penelope) get sick during the story.

…have Penelope participate in The Grizz's boss fight.

…make one of the heroes (Penelope) deal with an evil impostor.

…have Sly give up on his future with Carmelita.

…have the boys discover Penelope's involvement in Le Paradox's scheme during Episode 5, later than in canon.

…have Penelope start (and end) the final boss fight with Le Paradox.

…have the entire gang fight Le Paradox together.

sex is fine but have you ever thought about all the ways you’d rewrite a flawed piece of media that shaped your life and holds a special place in your heart despite its unfulfilled potential

So my rewrite of Thieves In Time is full of awesome and wholesome moments, like the following...

Penelope teaming up with Carmelita and Tennessee to break the boys out of Toothpick's prison, and gaining Bentley's respect after she personally frees him. (Episode 2)

The boys taking care of Penelope when she's sick, and it being the last push she needs for her change of heart. (Episode 3)

Murray and Penelope fighting The Grizz together, and Murray letting her finish their opponent off. Also Bentley deciding not to interfere with that boss fight and let Penelope take care of herself. (Episode 3)

Sly apologizing to Penelope for ditching everyone on Kaine Island. (Episode 4)

Penelope escaping from that tower all by herself, even jumping a guard several times her size to get her weapons back. (Episode 4)

Bentley and Penelope finally doing a proper love confession after defeating the latter's impostor. (Episode 4)

Penelope impersonating her impostor to save Sly and succeeding. Also her declaration of loyalty during the same scene. And making it through the entire episode without getting found out. (Episode 4)

Penelope finally recognizing Murray as her older brother. (Episode 5)

Penelope taking charge as mission leader before the blimp raid (and nearly cracking under the pressure). Also the boys promising to forget about her upcoming expulsion if she succeeds. (Episode 6)

Penelope fighting Le Paradox. The entire fight scene. (Episode 6)

I know some of these scenes weren't documented in the abridged version. The full story, if it's ever finished, will contain them.

Here's a little tale about how my obsession with Sly Cooper got started... Super abridged, of course.

It actually happened right after my senior year of high school. I found it on the floor in my room one night. I decided to give it a chance...

Cue the beginning of my obsession. This happened during the summer of 2008. Before the storytelling trainwreck that is Thieves In Time ever existed.

Even more so if you want to talk about it.

Here's a link to it in case you somehow missed it.

Here's a few lessons you might learn from reading Thieves In Time Redux...

-Love Redeems. So does friendship.

-People do strange things when they panic.

-They also do strange things out of both love and hate.

-Faking amnesia is a bad idea.

-There's no shame in asking for help.

Thieves In Time Redux: Full Story Previews

A few months back, I posted a few previews of my full Thieves In Time rewrite on DeviantArt. I thought I'd repost them here.

All of them are set during Episode 0. You know, the museum heist.

I can't wait to fully explore these relationships that Thieves In Time vanilla completely ruined...

Preview #1: Link

Preview #2: Link

Preview #3: Link

Preview #4: Link

Well, this was a wild election year. Please excuse me while I continue onward with rewriting Thieves In Time...

Thieves In Time Redux Boss Fights

I haven't talked much about the boss fights yet, apart from Le Paradox.

For those of you who haven't read my little fanfic yet, I managed to rope Penelope into all six of them.

I wasn't sure how to rope her into the El Jefe or Toothpick boss fights at first... then after some thinking, I put her on aerial support for Sly.

How many other rewrites have both Murray and Penelope fighting a boss together? None? Great news: They both get to fight The Grizz. Let your imagination for that run wild.

We can't have our heroine be the boss of Episode 4, so I thought I'd bring back an old villain: Sir Raleigh.

Miss Decibel's boss fight... isn't finished yet.

Then there's Le Paradox... Here's a link to that recap.

Bentley and Penelope holding hands Appreciation Post

replayed the sly cooper series recently and I missed these two so badly

Thieves In Time Redux Meme #18

I know, this one's a bit overdone.

Thieves In Time Redux: Why Toad Town?

Check this post out for context.

You may be wondering why there's so much music from Paper Mario: The Origami King associated with this project. This was actually a decision I made quite recently.

For now, I'm only talking about Origami King's Toad Town.

I started work on Thieves In Time Redux long before Origami King ever existed. It was just a massive stroke of luck to see OK's Toad Town of all pieces work so well together with the progression of my little story. Or more specifically, a certain mouse girl's evolution into the true hero I know she can become.

Take Toad Town Ghost Town, for instance. It's assigned to Episode 1, the beginning of our heroes' time traveling adventure. Not only is it perfect for Feudal Japan, it's also perfect for the beginning of Penelope's character arc.

Might as well talk about each step in the music's progression. Toad Town - Red Streamer Removal is assigned to Episode 2. Perfect for a wild west town, is it not? Here, Penelope is beginning to understand the consequences of her actions, mainly through what happened to Sly and Carmelita.

My favorite, though, is Toad Town - Blue Streamer Removal. Assigned to Episode 3, that's when Penelope undergoes her change of heart. It happens after she gets placed on bed rest and needs the boys to take care of her.

Then there's the more heroic shift in tone that comes with Toad Town - Yellow Streamer Removal. In which our heroine successfully strikes down her own creations without being discovered as their creator.

Episode 5 gives us Toad Town - Purple Streamer Removal. Penelope's nearing the end of her character arc, and the boys are proud of her. Too bad Le Paradox outs her as his mole at the end of the episode.

Toad Town - Green Streamer Removal gives us the end of her character arc with Episode 6. After her journey across time, Penelope has changed for the better, she's been found out, and she's willing to take responsibility for what she's done.

How in the heck did freaking Toad Town manage to retell my entire fanfic so perfectly? Even I have no clue... But I'm so glad it turned out that way.

Long story short, I love how the music progresses to its final form.

About Thieves In Time Redux's final boss fight...

I wanted to talk about the gameplay end of the fight scene. Remember how the vanilla boss fight was mostly QTEs? We'll only be seeing QTEs in the first and final phases.

The first phase, of course, has Penelope fighting Le Paradox, in an attempt to redeem herself.

As the fight progresses, the button commands increase in difficulty until they eventually become impossible for a human to complete. When that happens, Sly will join the fight and begin Phase 2.

You'll take control of Sly, Bentley, Murray, and Carmelita one after the other (in that order) as they enter the fight. No, you won't get to control the ancestors when they join in.

The final phase has you controlling Penelope again as she restarts her duel with Le Paradox. More QTEs follow, but now they're easier as our heroine gives her speech on what she learned about friendship.

I find it a bit hard to believe that after 11 years of Thieves In Time, and combing through several rewrites...

My rewrite is somehow the only one that has Penelope fighting Le Paradox at the very end.

Why does she end up fighting him? Simple. She feels it's something she has to do as part of her redemption quest. If she can't do it all by herself, her attempt to atone won't count.

After all, this is her mess. She needs to be the one who finishes cleaning it up. What better way is there than taking Le Paradox down?

This, of course, leads to the final lesson she needs to learn: Atoning for her crimes doesn't mean she has to try to fix everything all by herself. She is allowed to ask for help.

Writing Dialogue: Ways of Saying No

When your characters are saying no without saying "no"

INARTICULATE

Ah

Oh

APOLOGETIC/UNCOMFORTABLE

Alas ⚜ Can’t help ⚜ Do me a favour ⚜ Give over

I’m afraid… ⚜ Sorry ⚜ Unfortunately

EVASIVE

Any other time… ⚜ Ask Arthur ⚜ ‘Bye ⚜ Must run

Not right now ⚜ Talk to me later ⚜ The thing is… ⚜ What a pity

DEFINITE (with negative word)

No can do ⚜ No chance ⚜ No go ⚜ No way (José)

Never (in a thousand years) ⚜ Not in a million years

Not on your nelly ⚜ I should say not

DEFINITE (no negative word)

Are you serious? ⚜ Drop dead ⚜ Fat chance

Get lost / knotted / stuffed… ⚜ God forbid ⚜ Hard cheese

I’d rather die ⚜ Impossible ⚜ Over my dead body

Push off ⚜ See you in hell first ⚜ Tough titty

Unthinkable ⚜ You must be joking ⚜ You’ve had it

EXCUSES

If it were up to me ⚜ I’m right out ⚜ It’s more than my job’s worth

It’s not in my hands ⚜ Love to, but…

EUPHEMISMS/CLICHÉS

Chance would be a fine thing ⚜ Closed for business

Correspondence closed ⚜ If wish were father to the deed

Je regrette, mais… ⚜ Not my department ⚜ Not my remit

The editor regrets… ⚜ The umpire’s decision is final

Would that it were possible

Parents begin to teach their children to read between the lines in this way at an early age. Here are some of the negative responses used by parents to a request by their 4-year-old for another biscuit.

You’ve just had one ⚜ It’ll be tea time soon

Ask Daddy ⚜ I haven’t heard the magic word yet

Source ⚜ Word Lists ⚜ Notes & References

I honestly and truly believe all good AUs should be a little “”””ooc”””” in the sense that good characterisation involves understanding that changes a characters backstory and circumstances will have an effect on how they respond to the world around them

Good characterisation isn’t about creating a perfect 1:1 canon replica it’s about understanding why a character is different in your work and about grounding the changes you do deliberately choose to make in canon character traits

Quick Tips for Writing Protective Tension

One character immediately steps in when something happens, overprotective much? The other one is like, “Chill. I got this.”

They stand just a little too close, constantly checking if the other person’s okay, but trying (and failing) to be subtle about it.

“Be careful,” “Watch out,” or “Don’t do that,” every two seconds, like they’re babysitting, but it's all about concern.

One of them puts a hand on the other’s shoulder, almost possessively, like, “Don’t worry, I’m here.”

They instinctively move in front, even if it’s something minor like a crowded street or a heated argument.

Writing, at its core, is about stepping into someone else’s shoes. It’s not just about creating characters who are like you, it’s about understanding characters who are nothing like you. Writing forces you to ask, “Why does this person act this way?” “What are they afraid of?” “What do they want?” You have to feel what your characters are feeling, even if you don’t agree with them. That’s how you create characters who are complex, layered, and real.

Writing Notes: Types of Characters

You may recall from your literature classes that characters can be “flat” or “round,” and likewise, “minor” or “major.”

A character also may be a protagonist or antagonist.

Look at F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby for examples of character types.

Note that the characters in the novel are more complex than what is stated here, and that Gatsby faces other antagonists—such as class, bourgeois snobbery, and the progression of time itself.

Protagonist: the main or central character, the hero (Gatsby)

Antagonist: opponent or enemy of the protagonist (Tom Buchanan)

Flat/Minor: a character(s) who helps readers better understand another character, usually the protagonist. Also, “a static and undeveloped character of two dimensions” (Knorr and Schell 165). (Nick Carraway)

While Gatsby is our protagonist, the one who we want to succeed, his success would mean ousting his beloved Daisy’s husband, Tom Buchanan.

An idea can also function as an antagonist: Gatsby is also fighting against the bourgeois prejudice of elite 1920s New York City, where “old money”—such as the Buchanans—is worth more than new money, as exemplified by the divide between East Egg and West Egg.

Usually, the protagonist is also a Round character, “a developing three-dimensional character” (Knorr and Schell 165).

In other words, the protagonist must be a character that grows and changes during the story; it is the progress of this change that keeps the reader interested and cheering for the character.

Archetypes

Part of why The Great Gatsby has endured in American literature is because the characters are complex, rather than being simple archetypes.

You are already aware of many archetypes; you can recognize them in the movies you watch, such as the Reluctant Hero (Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games series).

Using an archetype is a kind of shorthand; if you put in a character like The Lonely Old Lady With A Dog, the reader recognizes the character and knows what to expect from them.

This may be helpful when populating your world with minor/flat characters, because it is reassuring and comforting to your reader; your reader knows these archetypal characters already.

Unfortunately, that also means that archetypal characters may be clichéd. Once you put your character down into their world, they can react in various ways to the setting and reality of their lives.

In Mooring Against the Tide: Writing Fiction and Poetry, Knorr and Schell write:

…your characters may react to the world in one of four ways. They may see this society and its values and assimilate by adopting those values as their own; they may accommodate in that they do not like those values but will adopt them anyway if only to get along; they may rebel against those values in any number of ways; or, they may take flight from that society and, as did Huck Finn, head out to the new territories.

In other words, just as our choices in life determine where we go, the plot of your story is determined by the nature of your characters.

These four choices might not seem to offer many different plot options, but in reality, they can play out in an infinite number of ways. Think about your favorite novel or short story—it’s likely that the main character is faced with a choice and has to pick one of the four routes described above.

Otherwise, there may not be much conflict in your story.

Source Writing References: Worldbuilding ⚜ Plot ⚜ Character