I'll Just Stay On The Moon Please... No Going Back For Me

I gave you the key, you need to unlock it.

This is a very open love letter to the one embedded deep in my heart.

Love

You are my obsession, I see your words /your face... My heart pounds and I feel calm, I feel perfect and right..... You are my addiction, I crave and need, in in those moments after our interactions I need, crave, my desire grows, so much I shake, you are powerful.

Don't ever feel you aren't strong, because i beg to differ.

You are my moon, my moonlight.

Why?

I look at the moon I feel calm, it's reflective light bathing us comforting.

I look up at the moon the same time as you and no matter our paths, no matter the distance, we are looking and loving the same thing.

Only you are my moon..my comfort, my inspiration. You are my light when all I see is dark, when I'm bright, you reflect my light, spread it farther than I ever could alone.

You speak to my heart, understand me in ways many could not, even when I don't understand myself you somehow find what it is I can't voice.

You take every part of my intensity, even though I know it's one of my biggest issues, you accept all my faults, the moments when I know it's my past trust /abandonment issues taking, and even when hard, with tears in your eyes, you not only handle me, but love me more.

I didn't have to learn to love you, and that is why it's so easy to love you.

The faults you carry, you know I don't see them as such, never have.

Thank you for your light.

Your love.

Your glow upon my life.

“You’re basically seeing all of the sunrises and sunsets across the world, at once, being reflected off the surface of the moon” – NASA

“She did not need much, wanted very little. A kind word, sincerity, fresh air, clean water, a garden, kisses, books to read, sheltering arms, a cosy bed, and to love and be loved in return.”

— Starra Neely Blade (via quotemadness)

Come here.....

I hate that I'm afraid to sleep, not because of the demons that try to get at me as my dreams turn into nightmares.

It's because I survived today, everyone I care about in this fragile world I live in survived the day. Tomorrow..... Is inevitable and could be so much worse than any bad day I've ever had to live through.

While I go to sleep, against my will, but out of necessity. I know I have the comfort of my moon to glow upon me.

I don't take her for granted.

I search for you.... your trail... the scent of your blood as it courses through your veins.

I see the fingerprints you lay.

I'm thinking about you

When I say...... 'I'm thinking about you'..... It sometimes isn't so simple.

I'm thinking about you....... Means my mind is flying, so many thoughts slamming around, too many paths it's taking, that I don't know what to do.

It means that i can't stop thinking about your eyes, your face, the glow of your skin, the sound of your laugh, the beautiful way you cum, the shape of your legs, the way I feel safe with you, the way you calm me, the way you slip into my head, the one thought I didn't think..... And it disarms many.

I'm thinking about you..... Means I know you've had a rough day, I know you are down because I can feel it in your aura, in the invisible energy your words carry.

I'm thinking about you..... Means I'm hurting and you are all I want. Life has me scared and I want to lay at your breast and close my eyes. It means that you've been quiet and my mind won't stop itself thinking that you have been filling your moments with someone else... Someone better.

I'm thinking about you...... Is a very powerful statement.

The solar eclipse of June 19, 1936. L'Astronomie : revue mensuelle d'astronomie. 1937. Gallica.

Fragmented I strain to hold myself together.

I try to reach and parts of me fall to the floor. No matter how I try to hold it in, the only way to keep myself together is to hold myself tight.

It hurts to reach, to watch the vulnerable pieces of yourself, the ones you've picked up, dusted off, cut your fingers to hold, slip away, fall to the dark for another.

I reach for your glow.

Not worthy.

Not entitled.

Not out of despair.

I reach because I must, because the first time seeing you was all it took, to invade my head, to spin my thoughts, kicking up parts of me long since dormant.

I reach out of sheer need.

I don't care what happens to me.

She can give and I'll be so blessed. She can choose not to shine upon me and I'll stand, waiting for you.

I know I'm not the best. I know I'm not the kindest. I know I'm not much of anything in this life, but for long as I breathe, keeping my beating heart going in this temporary husk I'm in...... I'll be all I can be for her.

Even in doubt, even when I feel like I'm farther away. Even scared..... I will not give up reaching... I will reach until my arms start to spasm, until my body aches from wait, long since weary...... I will reach.