The Way My Brain Politely Steps Out For Coffee Every Time I Need It To Proofread.

to be loved the way i love f1, what a thought, but not like ferrari since 2010, no, that’s like a cursed love letter you keep reading even though it’s giving “toxic ex who keeps texting” vibes. no thank you, i’d rather be loved like red bull in 2023— chaotic, fast, a bit of drama, but at least we’re winning and making everybody mad. and maybe like mclaren after 2024? who knows, still figuring it out, but they’ll get there and so will i, just. let me breathe.

i’m not even sure i want to be loved— i just want speed, and noise, like driving down a street, f1 music blaring while my 1.2L engine pretends it’s a turbocharged beast, but it’s not, it’s just me, pretending i’m at monaco. but somehow it feels real.

so i went and chose engineering, because who wouldn’t want to suffer, like i’m not already doing enough by being born too late to be an f1 driver. like, yeah, i could’ve raced at 18, but here i am, soldering wires and calculating resistance, living the delusion that somehow, someway, toto wolff will see my tweets and hand me a seat so i can drive into the pit of my dreams.

but nah, i’m just here, pretending i’m quicker than i am, just like when i got my license at 18 and blasted f1 tracks as if i was about to win silverstone, while my car barely passed the speed bump at the end of my block. it was freedom, though. it was delusional and it was everything.

maybe i’m not even in love with people, maybe i’m just addicted to the idea of speed— and yeah, the walls i keep hitting don’t help, but hey, if i crash into a barrier, at least it’s a passion crash. i’m in love with the chaos. maybe that’s my problem.

but pls—if you’re gonna love me, don’t love me like ferrari, don't love me like “oh, we were so close but here’s p2,” love me like red bull— always faster, always something up in the air, always winning (in the most chaotic way possible). that’s the vibe i’m after, that’s the dream i’m chasing.

so, here i am—delusional, writing f1 rpf fanfics at 2 a.m. while figuring out why i’m broke and why my heart beats to the rhythm of pit stops, but if you get it, then maybe you get me. or maybe we’re both just chasing something that’s always just out of reach.

(aka: send help, and a car with a turbo unit, pls.)

OMG OMG OMG THE NEW BEARNELLI FIC????????

ARE YOU CLINICALLY INSANE??? I CANT BELIEVE YOURE LETTING US READ SUCH A MASTERPIECE FOR FREE......THE FLIRTING?? THE TENSION???? THE OVERALL DUMBASS ENERGY?? ACTUAL PERFECTION!!!! THIS IS THE KIND OF FIC THAT RUINS YOU SPIRITUALLY, MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY BUT IN AN AESTHETIC WAY. OLLIE MY POOR EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED GREMLIN WHAT MAKES YOU THINK ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH KIMI IS PLATONIC 😭😭. I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT OLLIE WOULD TOP BUT NOOOOO THE WAY YOU WROTE KIMI MADE ME FEEL DUMB AF FOR EVEN THINK8NG THAT CAUSE WOOOWWW MY MAN KIMI OUT HERE DOING THE MOST. THE WAY HE PRACTICALLY TORTURED OLLIE FOR WEEKS GAVE ME LIFEE LIKE YASSSSSSS TAKE REVENGE FROM THE DUMBASS WHO HAS BEEN IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS FEELINGS FOR YOU FOR YEAAARSSS BY FLIRTING WITH HIM TILL HE GOES INSANE. THIS FIC IS CANON TO ME, LIKE THIS SHIT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING IS SOME ALTERNATE UNIVERSE AND WE'RE JUST UNLUCKY TO NOT BE BORN IN IT

YOU HAVE RUINED ME IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE. I WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS. ITS LIKE YOUR WRITING STYLE WAS SPECIALLY CREATED FOR ME IN A LAB SOMEWHERE. I WOULD DEVOUR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU EVER WRITE EVEN IF IT IS JUST YOU DESCRIBING PAINT DRY FOR 100K WORDS. I WOULD EAT THAT SHIT UP LIKE STARVING WOMAN. I GENUINELY LOVE YOU

brb gonna write a 100k fic abt paint drying

but seriously, THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH FOR READING BABYGIRL I AM LITERALLY SLKFJFGBLVFKSNLB THANK YOU!!!! I JUST. YEAH.

@iluvoscarpiastri HIIIII IM GETTING A SIBLING YESSS

fellas i’ve done it again. i’ve accidentally adopted another child/sibling on tumblr. again. how i manage this is beyond me

everyday i’ve been thinking im not gonna go into ao3 today and then i get a notification about a new fic of yours… and what im supposed to do? i have to be in college in one hour but im reading the kingdom, the power, the glory

i should be studying for my exam but instead I'm replying to ur ask. life really be like that sometimes, huh?

also um idk where u reached in that fic, but u might need tissues. no, it's not an exaggeration. i created a monster. I'm lowkey proud tho so there goes that.

Hiiii its me again.....omg i was so stressed when I couldn't find ur tumblr account lol 😭😭😭

Anyway I just wanted to say that YOUR WRITING IS BLOODY AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND EVERY SINGLE FIC YOU HAVE EVER WRITTEN AND I HOPE YOU HAVE THE MOST PERFECT LIFE EVER 😭🛐🤍

HIII BABYYY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO ME IM GONNA CRY 😭❤️❤️❤️

ok so fernando being tony is ABSOLUTELY goated. and jenson being rhodey is slayyy. lewis and nico. no notes. we are turning brocedes into stucky. we can brainstorm the rest of them when I'm not half slept-for-two-hours and half should-be-studying my way thru life

“lando would be such a good spider-man”

“oscar would be such a good spider-man”

ESTEBAN OCON IS RIGHT THERE 😭😭😭

I should be studying. I also have so so much lestappen plot in my brain. I should be studying. What if I write angst? I should be studying. omg what if I write landoscar fluff? I should be studying. eh lets make max a dad. I should be studying. I'm gonna rickroll everyone and their mother (respectfully). I should be studying. I'm never gonna update greek comedies and tragedies. I should be studying. brb gonna rewatch the new mclaren video.

did i mention i should be studying?

does this race give you hope for monaco? no.

i approach human relationships in a normal manner

👀👀👀

Lestappen getting distracted because of each other and losing the wheel is so soulmate coded

Abu Dhabi 2021

Bahrain 2019

[Max might have fell first but Charles fell harder <3]