Latest Posts by khazdmazerb - Page 3

Thinking about this ent wife taking a nap in someone’s backyard

Is that not canon haha, that’s always how I imagine them 😭😭 like jaguars as humanoids

Headcannon:

Tolkien describes many of the elves in LOTR as ‘beautiful and perilous’ or some other combination to the same effect. What if Elves created uncanny valley effects towards the other races of Middle-earth?

The elves keep a little too still.

They blink, but hardly enough to be ‘normal’.

Their skin is a little too perfect.

Elves’ grace feels more predatory.

They can be completely silent.

In conclusion, give me more unsettling Tolkien elves. Please, fanfic writers I beg you.

Just a reminder that the ONLY ethical consumption of Harry Potter is via theft or fan made content.

So it it wasn’t stolen or written better than anything that personified week old used, non organic tampon would muster - it’s not ethical. This includes watching it on the television when it is being played during Christmas

Imagine if Dori and Nori were both dwarrowdames the whole time and they were just there to look after their shit ass nerd little brother.

Add this to the list of shit I need to draw

Dwalin finding out that Thorin - his best and oldest friend, his king who he would faithfully follow anywhere - is in love with this small ugly bitchy little creature that hasn't stopped complaining since they left the shire and immediately falling to his knees in agony

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again.

Take everything😭

”are they a dwarf or a dwarrowdam?” girl they’re stealing your shit watch out!!

Corporate would like you to spot the difference

Bilbo has terrible mental health but that brain is a fucking vault and he covers everything with the bitchy meanness that only a Baggins could muster

who from lotr most needs therapy and who would actually go to therapy 😇

LOTR Therapy Reactions:

Frodo: is a little bit reluctant at first and feels like he’s “taking away resources from people who need them more” a bit, but learns that he needs them just as much, not to compare himself to others, and settles down well.

Elrond: motherfucker tries to mansplain therapy techniques to the therapist in the first session, spends the entirety of the second session crying hysterically, and from that moment on is a total therapy nerd. he literally decorates his CBT notebooks. asks if he can get extra points for turning his worksheets early. literally treats his final session like he’s fucking graduating college and makes everyone attend in formalwear.

Pippin: argues with the therapist, who quickly wises up to his bantering ways and essentially starts doing talk-therapy masqueraded as an improv-comedy session. weirdly enough, it works, and he reports feeling much better.

Thranduil: books 10 sessions, doesn’t even go to the first one, and instead of asking for a refund, just straight up files a chargeback on his AMEX

Maedhros: sends Google hate mail every time it dares to show him an advert to a therapy service, which is a vicious cycle because he keeps Googling “how to prove therapy is a capitalist scam” and “cure panic attack reddit” and “cancel nightmare subscription”

Legolas and Gimli: wandered in by accident thinking it was a Starbucks, has no clue what therapy is, and genuinely just assume they’re gossiping with a strangely professional barista. they have been attending for the last 20 years and as a result have outstanding mental health

Fëanor: someone suggests a therapist to him after the third time he set his microwave on fire after it melted his cheese too much. he looks up said therapist, reports them to the registered psychologist regulatory body for no reason, and pulls political strings to ensure they lose their practice license. he has never met this person.

Bilbo Baggins: therapist drops him in 3 weeks with “yeah you’re fine move on” because he makes her cry every session. not because his mental health mind you but because he keeps being subtly mean about her fashion choices and room decorations.

Celegorm: banned from therapy centre before his first session for barking like a dog when the receptionist asked for his health insurance number.

If I catch anyone doing this to any of my art including my docs I will be poisoning everything and blocking you just fyi.

This is the worst timeline. (x)

may i ask how boromir is canonically aroace?

Sure! Within the appendix of the the lord of the rings ‘kings and rulers’ Boromir is described as having no desire or interest to take a partner. Having only love to his family and for his roll

It is most plainly put that he is unlike his brother who seeks love and a spouse where as he has no interest.

I don’t have a physical copy of the book with me currently otherwise I would write the direct quote out for me

They would be horrible

modern legolas and gimli would be yelling shit that would borderline get them imprisoned in the call of duty lobby and like eat worms on bets

It makes me a little same but I support it

(Although Boromir is canonically Aromatic/Asexual)

in my headcanon boromir had a one sided crush on aragorn and pippin had a one sided crush on faramir… guys who have one sided crush on gondor royalty twice their age with wives

He’s just so full of love and nerves

actually hilarious to me how defensive legolas is of his (boy)friends in the movies. boromir even as so makes a peep about aragorn and legolas immediately springs up from his seat, rambling about aragorn’s ancestry, and when eomer comments on gimli’s height, legolas immediately draws an arrow to eomer’s head. fucking insane

That’s why Elrond isn’t a dick

I love telling non or casual LoTR fans that Elrond isn't really an Elf. He's just Elf-passing

Alternatively:

Thorin who grew up in the kings court and was being raised to be the next king: never said a undignified thing

Bilbo who grew up as the son of wealthy and respected parents in the shire: also never said a bad word

Bilbo watching Thorin in the smithy, sitting on a bench, legs crossed, drinking some tea, yapping his head off

Thorin gets too locked in on his husband friends yapping and accidentally over works and tears some brass he was using to make a twist for a bracelet: Fuck

Bilbo: what?

Thorin: what??

Thorin, who grew up in a society often portrayed as brash and crude, and faced many traumatic and difficult events in his life: has never said an “undignified” word in his entire life

Bilbo, who not only grew up in the prim, proper and respectable society but was considered a gentle hobbit of them: curses like a fucking sailor

No one asked but this was my dinner

That mango died a brutal and gorey death.. post mango clarity is real…

The fact that when bitch ass bitch Azog killed Thrór he branded his name on his head means that that absolute sun stricken snot cough can write.. who caught him to write? And why!? Specifically so he could do hair like that? Does he know how to write other things? Does he sit does at his little orc writing desk and pen letters to his boss? What a loser.

Writing Tips Master Post

Edit: Some posts may be deleted

Character writing/development:

Character Arcs

Making Character Profiles

Character Development

Comic Relief Arc

Internal Conflict

Character Voices

Creating Distinct Characters

Creating Likeable Characters

Writing Strong Female Characters

Writing POC Characters

Building Tension

Writing Grumpy x Sunshine Tropes

Writing Sexualities/Gender

Plot devices/development:

Intrigue in Storytelling

Enemies to Lovers

Alternatives to Killing Characters

Worldbuilding

Misdirection

Consider Before Killing Characters

Foreshadowing

Narrative:

Emphasising the Stakes

Avoid Info-Dumping

Writing Without Dialogue

1st vs. 2nd vs. 3rd Perspective

Fight Scenes (+ More)

Transitions

Pacing

Writing Prologues

Dialogue Tips

Writing War

Writing Cheating

Writing Miscommunication

Writing Unrequited Love

Worldbuilding:

Worldbuilding: Questions to Consider

Creating Laws/Rules in Fantasy Worlds

Book writing:

Connected vs. Stand-Alone Series

A & B Stories

Writer resources:

Writing YouTube Channels, Podcasts, & Blogs

Online Writing Resources

Outlining/Writing/Editing Software

Writing Translation Software

Writer help:

Losing Passion/Burnout

Overcoming Writer's Block

Fantasy terms:

How To Name Fantasy Races (Step-by-Step)

Naming Elemental Races

Naming Fire-Related Races

How To Name Fantasy Places

Ask games:

Character Ask Game #1

Character Ask Game #2

Character Ask Game #3

Miscellaneous:

1000 Follower Post

Writing Fantasy

Miscommunication Prompts

Variety in Sentence Structure (avoiding repetition)

He’s fighting for his life to stop everyone in his family from trying to kill his uncle honestly.

Kíli has ' I do.dumb or funny things to break tension and keep the family together. im playing 5-d chess while everyone else is playing battleship' vibes

They have a dad. Vili.

They are to my mind:

Princes Fili and kili of the line of Durin. Sons of Dis of the line of Durin. Heir and steward prince of Azsâlul'abad

Normally it would run to most peoples agreement that they would be sons of their father but because of Vilis commoner status (and don’t due to his death) it is seem as acceptable for them to take their mothers name in their titles as she is the member of the line of Durin.

Though I imagine in situations where they don’t want to be known they would be introduced as ‘sons of Vili’

it always catches me off guard when i see people use Durin as a stand-in last name for Fíli and Kíli. it’s not necessarily a pet peeve, but i’m still like ‘hmmm feels wrong’. so now im curious:

If there’s one thing that motivates me to draw it’s my dumb ass art from two/three years ago.

I really thought I ate with that first one.

We got this guys! Ai is losing favorability as people learn how bad image/story generation is for the environment and the novelty is wearing thin.

We have been here since the dawn of man kind, this is just a flash in the pan.

Appreciation post for all the beginner artists who work hard despite the AI ​​looming over us. You are fabulous. You are precious. Keep up the hard work, you are needed.

Do you think sleep alludes us because it’s shy and knows how fucking badly we want it?

This feels so wrong… GANDALF? Followed by.. Legolas… okay maybe I am just strange and off putting…that’s fine. You know what? I’ll take it

It better to look for crystals in the rain.

(When life feels shitty, take that time to appreciate the small good things you don’t normally pay attention to)

If I was laying, mortally wounded on the battle field- would you take up my sword and defend me as I took my final breath?

Didn’t think so. Get out of my face.

I actually wrote the next chapter of Avenge the living, I’m gonna edit it and post it tomorrow 👍🏻👍🏻

Oh….0////0

Render process on an elf Thorin

The company: So what's for dinner?

Bombur: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise!

The company: ...

Gloin: Is it soup?

Bombur: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Dwalin: Please, enough with the soup puns!

Bombur: Wow, you're soup-per mean

Thorin: STOP

*one hour later*

The company: It's fucking roast beef?!?!?!?

Someone said they liked the idea of Thorin using hand gestures and not talking much when he doesn’t have to (think somewhat selectively mute, maybe using Iglishmêk) and Bilbo yapper who fills every pause with his thoughts.

Bilbo: -and then he said ‘we can’t plant roses on the terraces, they’ll freeze’ can you believe that? We had the last winter snow six weeks ago- dear, where are the measuring spoons

Thorin: *doesn’t look up from his mountain of shitty paperwork, gestures vaguely in the direction of the a drawer that he put them in*

Bilbo: *rifling through the drawer* what do you think though? About the roses? Surely we can’t be expecting anymore snow? The-

Thorin: *without looking up* There’s not enough sun on the terrace you’re thinking of…

Bilbo: but-!

Thorin: plant them at the gates..

Bilbo: oh… o////o