James: Please tell me I’m imagining that I got drunk and claimed I was the King of All Ducks.
Matthew: I would, but then I’d be lying to the King of All Ducks.
Kidnapper: Did you order a pizza?
Simon: … maybe
Kidnapper: So, you found a phone and instead of calling someone for help, you ordered a pizza?
Simon: Are you mad that I used your card?
Kidnapper: You wHaT?
Will: How about have a seat? Maybe you'd like a glass of water?
Matthew: Anything with a little more kick?
Will: Seriously, Matthew, you're in my office.
Matthew: You're right. I don't know what I was thinking-
Will, pouring whisky in two glasses: You want ice, you're out of luck.
Julian: It's really cold outside.
Kit: Just like my heart.
Julian: Now is not the time to debate which one of us is more dead inside.
Simon: Hey, what is your greatest fear?
Alec: Losing a loved one
Simon: That’s deep…
Simon: … mine is the kool aid man, but I feel kinda stupid about it now
Will: How do you always know when I’m sad?
Jem: Well, you look sad and you haven’t said anything mean to Gabriel for like 3 hours.
Jem: Oh, and you’re wearing a button that says “I’m sad, ask me why.”
Thomas: What are you doning when you meet someone new?
Alastair: I die
Thomas: ... you can just say hello
Alastair: No, I'm just gonna die
Lucie: Once, when I was younger, I tried to start a gang.
Jesse: How did it go?
Lucie: It turned into a book club.
Jesse:
Lucie: Actually, it was just Mum, Dad, Jamie and me and Bridget used to make cookies.
Anna: Yo, is that guy sleeping or dead?
Matthew: Hopefully dead, I hated that guy.
James: Yeah, so did I.
Alastair, laying on the floor: First of all, fuck you all-
Christopher: I’m scared
Gabriel: Your mom said to go to bed.
Christopher: But there’s a monster under my bed!
Gabriel: Is it scarier than your mom?
Christopher:
Christopher: *goes back to bed*
If you ever feel happy, just remember that your favorite character probably hates you and will call you a whiny little bitch for crying over them ;)
Why pick one favorite character when you can simply adopt every single one of them (except for the Dearborns, they go straight into the trashcan)?
280 posts