A War I Didn't Sign Up For.

A war I didn't sign up for.

We're teenage girls, me and my friends. In every sense of the word.

We've got one who loves k-dramas, Tom Holland and makes great almond cake, we've got a tiny one who's sarcasm mutes me every time (to her great delight) and loves anime, we've got one who's the light and laughter of any party, who's soft safety and recently was diagnosed with depression, and we've got a childish and dreaming one who's beautiful, stunning. Everyone tells her. It frightens her.

I haven't seen my friends in a while.

No one's fault, just life. School, tests, a pandemic. So imagine my happiness! Our excitement! When a friend's friend invited us to a party, and we found time to meet up beforehand, to talk! Laugh! Eat pizza!

My friends came. And we laughed. I told them I've never been to a party, that I was pretty nervous. Soft And Safe grinned at me, told me it was fine, the boys that invited us were nice. And guess what? She had kissed one of them!! A drunken make-out, wasn't that cool??!

Then she stopped. Her smile slipped a little

Well, not that cool. She started, sitting there beside my bed.

Not all of it.

And sentence for sentence, Soft And Safe, who I grew up with, who I'd known like the other girls since I was ten, new in town and was adopted into their little group, hesitantly told me a story I'll never forget. Because it taught me life.

Because the boy she made out with was nice.

Until he asked her to kiss him on the cheek for a picture and she felt too uncomfortable and drunk to say no.

Until, when they were kissing alone in a room, he kept trying to put his hand under her shirt, even when she pushed it away.

Until he pulled her onto his lap, crotch pushed uncomfortably against her jeans, and held her waist down.

Until he barked at the girl checking up on Soft And Safe to get out.

Until he put his hand into her pants, and answered "everything is fine, relax", when she told him she didn't like that.

Until he pushed her over the sink.

Until, when she said she didn't want that and that they should go back downstairs, he got back claps and fist bumps from the other boys.

She got her best friend, whom she had rejected a week earlier, call her a slut. He said he could never see her the same way again.

We thought it wouldn't happen to us. But as we sat there in my room, staring at her forced smile, eyes frantic, we realised how she had done everything right.

And it had still happened.

It had happened to me three weeks earlier, at my gym.

And we realised

It wouldn't stop. We wouldn't grow out of it.

Being a woman would be a war we hadn't signed up for.

We went to the party. I saw him. I didn't deck him like I had planned. Because everyone would think I'm the one out of line.

More Posts from Libraryidealist and Others

10 months ago

unavoidable that you will be the villain in someone else's story. You will be painted in an unfavorable light. You will be the irredeemable one. and all of this will happen despite how nice you might usually be or how kind or how respectful or how warm. and you will just have to move on.

1 year ago

Hello, OP here.

I didn't quite know how to feel about this post ad-on, since I wrote the post in a spur of the second, omg-I'm-so-excited-about-this-show flash. And the Palestine-Israel conflict is one I very much avoid, for a few reasons.

But I do want to say that I very much appreciate how @mo-mode puts an emphasis on seeing things from all sides. The chance that every person you disagree with is a monster is actually very slim, my friends.

I'm just not a friend of the internet and this website's quick hand at polarizing and simplifying complex topics.

THAT BEING SAID

Reblog with your fave illegal streaming website, y'all. Kick Disney where it hurts.

After tireless searching I've finally found an illegal website to stream Percy Jackson over and now I'm making it everyone's problem

3 months ago

In the future, children will think our ways are strange. "Why do old people always grow so much milkweed in their gardens?" they'll say. "Why do old people always write down when the first bees and butterflies show up? Why do old people hate lawn grass so much? Why do old people like to sit outside and watch bees?"

We will try to explain to them that when we were young, most people's yards were almost entirely short grass with barely any flowers at all, and it was so commonplace to spray poisons to kill insects and weeds that it was feared monarch butterflies and American bumblebees would soon go extinct. We will show them pictures of sidewalks, shops, and houses surrounded by empty grass without any flowers or vegetables and they will stare at them like we stared at pictures of grimy children working in coal mines

10 months ago

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡ (no pressure)

Wow, this is like a sudden smile from the stranger on the bus you take every morning together.

Okay! 5 things!

looking forward to a summer party I organised, meeting my friends

realising I could perfectly recreate my childhood ice tea (and i DID)

realising I wasn’t ‘failing’ for suddenly preferring some basic clothes instead of my usual vintage

finding out that I really like my summer job

my newest, beautiful obsession, Anne of Green Gables. It’s so *sobs happily*

This was fun! Nice to meet you! <3

10 months ago
Ada Limón, From "The Widening Road", Sharks In The Rivers

Ada Limón, from "The Widening Road", Sharks in the Rivers

1 year ago
I Have So Much Rage In Me One Day I Think I Will Explode. I Dont Think I Know How To Forgive As Much
I Have So Much Rage In Me One Day I Think I Will Explode. I Dont Think I Know How To Forgive As Much

i have so much rage in me one day i think i will explode. i dont think i know how to forgive as much as i know how to forget

1 year ago

Sometimes I think I'm holding back out of habit. Like I should've broken a long time ago. What does that make my current state, hm?


Tags
1 year ago

EY ITS FINALS SEASON!

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXAMS!

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR ESSAYS!

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR PRESENTATIONS!

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR FINAL PROJECTS!

GOOD LUCK!!! YOU’VE MADE IT THIS FAR!!

and a gentle reminder to take breaks, and get a snack and some water. Don’t forget to take a moment to breathe.

and if you can, try to do something nice for yourself after its all over. No matter how it turns out, you struggled and you survived so you deserve something nice :)

3 months ago

A bit of a palate cleanser for everyone.

A Bit Of A Palate Cleanser For Everyone.
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libraryidealist - Dried flowers and art
Dried flowers and art

(She/her) Hullo! I post poetry. Sometimes. sometimes I just break bottles and suddenly there are letters @antagonistic-sunsetgirl for non-poetry

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