Dang I Was On A Roll Posting A Bunch Of Art But Then Depression Got Me Again :/

First portraits of Finch from October 2020

The worst thing about getting diagnosed with a disability/chronic illness as a young adult is realizing I’ve dealt with a lot of these problems since I was born. Without having a diagnosis, no one listened to me, and I’ve lived my entire life pretending to be a “normal” functioning person while suffering alone for survival. Whenever I couldn’t pretend anymore, there was just something wrong with me “emotionally” or I’d be given a bandaid to make me feel better temporarily. It was so easy for my doctors and parents to make snap judgments that left me/my body at fault. Moody, difficult, anti-social, spoiled, anxious. I thought there was something wrong with me mentally my entire life because I’ve been consistently dismissed, invalidated, and expected to be high functioning without accommodations. I wonder if my nerves would cause so much pain if my sensitivity was acknowledged or if I’d have trouble walking right now if I wasn’t pushed beyond my limits. It’s so much harder to accept disability as an adult because of the amount of ableism I’ve unconsciously internalized over the years. Being loved, worthy, and successful has only ever been associated with performance and productivity :/

Skip Google for Research

As Google has worked to overtake the internet, its search algorithm has not just gotten worse.  It has been designed to prioritize advertisers and popular pages often times excluding pages and content that better matches your search terms 

As a writer in need of information for my stories, I find this unacceptable.  As a proponent of availability of information so the populace can actually educate itself, it is unforgivable.

Below is a concise list of useful research sites compiled by Edward Clark over on Facebook. I was familiar with some, but not all of these.

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Google is so powerful that it “hides” other search systems from us. We just don’t know the existence of most of them. Meanwhile, there are still a huge number of excellent searchers in the world who specialize in books, science, other smart information. Keep a list of sites you never heard of.

www.refseek.com - Academic Resource Search. More than a billion sources: encyclopedia, monographies, magazines.

www.worldcat.org - a search for the contents of 20 thousand worldwide libraries. Find out where lies the nearest rare book you need.

https://link.springer.com - access to more than 10 million scientific documents: books, articles, research protocols.

www.bioline.org.br is a library of scientific bioscience journals published in developing countries.

http://repec.org - volunteers from 102 countries have collected almost 4 million publications on economics and related science.

www.science.gov is an American state search engine on 2200+ scientific sites. More than 200 million articles are indexed.

www.pdfdrive.com is the largest website for free download of books in PDF format. Claiming over 225 million names.

www.base-search.net is one of the most powerful researches on academic studies texts. More than 100 million scientific documents, 70% of them are free

Pixel art of my dnd party I made in may 2021.

welcome…to night vale

a redraw of this inktober from way back when night vale was first taking off. the quote still resonates with me all these years later

From December 2020

In 1980 the bones of a bird with a wingspan of twenty-five feet were found in Central Argentina. It has been named the “Magnificent Argentine Bird” (Argentavis Magnificens). It is estimated to be about eight million years old. This species is the largest flying bird ever discovered. 

Kenneth E. Campbell, (one of the discoverers), stands in front of a silhouette of the “Magnificent Argentine Bird.” And yes, this is to scale. It is on display at the Natural History Museum in Los Angeles.