Dick Grayson:

Dick Grayson:

*runs the titans*

*works for the league*

*has a day job*

*solo patrols bludhaven*

*solo patrols New York*

*on call 24/7 for regularly scheduled Gotham crisis(es)*

*training at least 40% of new gen heroes at any given moment*

*infiltrating the current annoying cult, corrupt gov, spy organization, company, mafia group, evil underground ancestral foundations of a city and random corrupt modeling industry*

*monitoring drug pedaling in 3 cities*

*emotionally regulating 80% of his family bc why would they do it themselves? Nah let’s just ruin relationships for fun -cough Bruce cough-*

* maintaining civilian cover*

*canonically does volunteer work*

I am beginning to think nightwing doesn’t have anger issues he’s just overstimulated bc wtf

Like Dick take a break what is this?

————

Dick currently working on infiltrating the mob, after 4 days of 6+ hour patrols bc bludhaven has no chill an Arkham breakout, a performance review at work that took too long, organizing a titans outer space mission, just got back from training Jon Kent: no one call me plz god no one call me I can’t do this I have so much work no one. Call me plz

*phone rings* -it’s tim

He could ignore it but last time he left Tim alone for a month the dumbass lost his spleen and decided a cowl was a fashion choice (equally bad in his opinion)

Dick picking up the phone with his non broken arm: yello

Tim: so I accidentally maybe got kidnapped and maybe also started a cult around the concept of Batman and I’m out of energy drinks. (All equally dire in tims opinion)

Dick popping 4 caffeine pills: shut up I’ll be there in 30 don’t DO ANYTHing.

—————

Jason: sooo I might be engaged to an alien princess

Dick about to pop a Xanax: tell me it’s Kori or at least in this galaxy

Jason: nope

Dick: …. Can it wait

Jason: she wants to eat me, their species is like a praying mantis knockoff but with space and mind control.

Dick: yeah okay give me an hour I’ll call raven

————

Damian: hello Richard

Dick: what did you do.

Damian: I have been kidnapped by my mother

Dick: again

Damian: I feel it would be redundant to say anything

Dick: …….. alright I’ll call the nearest flying hero be there in a bit… keep ur spine where it is Damian or I swear to god-

——————

Bruce: cult

Dick who just got done with an undercover mission: anddd?

Bruce: we need someone to infiltrate it

Dick: I swear to god I. will. hurt. you

Bruce: hnnnn

——-

Babs: I have… acquired a child

Dick who is fighting deathstroke : …okayyyy

Babs who is watching the fight: she’s a little bit … traumatized

Dick, dodging a katana: preaching to the choir

Babs: can you do your whole, human empathy and kindness tell me ur life story I have puppy dog eyes.

Dick: ….

Babs: you owe me

Dick: … one day I will delete all your numbers and disappear

Babs cheerfully: you know no matter where you go I can find you hunk wonder see you in 3 hours don’t die before then!

More Posts from Lostpimplepatch and Others

5 months ago

Jason: You became a fucking cop?! Ew.

Dick: Is that really worse than being a gang member or a terrorist?

Jason(Crime Lord, recognized publicly in several nations as a terrorist): Yeah?

I love when ACAB gets brought up in batfam fics and people dog on nightwing like this dumbass hasn’t been using the same technique since the 80s.

-the mob is bad… I’ll join them and ruin it inside out

-the cops are bad… I’ll join them and ruin the corrupt system

-spyral is bad …. I’ll join them and ruin it inside out

-the court of the owls is bad… I’ll join them and ruin it from the inside out

-deathstroke is bad …. I’ll raise his kids and ruin their relationship with him from the inside out.

-Aliens want to take over planet… this is bad… I’ll send someone to join them and ruin it from the inside out

Dick saw the BDP and went … yep the same routine I use for terrorists, spies, aliens and mobsters work.

AND YALL THINK DICK LIKES THE COPS?

Bro is just a professional cuckoo let him liveeeee

-


Tags
5 months ago

I was rewatching Young Justice and the fact that all versions of Robin are the only one forced to keep their secret identity even with their teammates and friends is usually written off as Batman being paranoid. I think it's more than that, that it's his way of giving the kids an 'out'. If they ever decide they don't want to fight crime anyone they have a safe identity to return to, no obligations.

They are children first, soldiers second. Bruce knows better than anyone the loneliness his job brings and of course he would want better for anyone, especially his kids.


Tags
4 months ago

Lois: Listen Clark, I know for a fact some of the things you own can't come from a reporter's salary

Clark (didn't know how expensive some of the gifts he received were) : Well-

Lois: And I've noticed you get requested for Wayne interviews more often than you should and always right as Mr. Wayne goes on vacation

Clark (thought their excuse of "interviewing Bruce" when they had an off-world mission was genius) : Um-

Lois: Look I don't mind if you're his sugar baby or whatever. You do what you gotta do and if our home appliances conveniently get replaced right as they start showing wear and tear that'll be that

Clark (has regularly broken those appliances by mistake using his powers and replaced them with his JL collateral property damage allowance) : I'm not-

Lois: You're not disappearing to go spend time with Mr. Wayne? Or the money and gifts don't come from him?

Clark (remembering what will happen if he lets Batman's identity slip) : No, I am... And they do... You're right...

Nah Bc Why Would Lois Say That

Nah bc why would Lois say that


Tags
5 months ago

This is just a mini info dump from an Arab batfamily fan because I find Damian calling his siblings Akhi... adorable (for me as a native speaker watching a writer use Arab words) and, not painful, just... itchy, it URGES me to make a pptx with 300 slides and just? Talk about Arabic?

So... أخي, Akhi, Brother.

It's not incorrect. The word is used in the right place and delivers its intended meaning. Other Arab speakers might not find a problem with it. They'd feel odd like I did but will likely go "eh" and carry on. But I'm an Arabic enthusiast, so...

Like with every language with geographically widespread users, the Arabic tongue kind of- deviated from its roots. The language has naturally branched out into so many dialects I myself can't keep track of.

Arabs from different regions can understand each other. They use the same words but for different purposes and with different pronunciations.

The original root language that holds them all (Quranic Arabic) was simplified into an easier, standard version that is used for formal speeches and as a communication bridge (seeing that you can't, say, translate something to Arabic and say it's for all Arabs if you use a certain dialect. Because an Arabic dialect is an identity at this point, tell me somebody is Syrian, and I know them already)

Now, with the fun part.

See, no Arab calls any sibling of theirs Akhi, I myself would burst laughing if mine did.

Yakhoi يَخوي (nonstandard, everyday Arabic for o, brother) , maybe, if I'm calling a stranger from the streets or an offender I'm going to give a piece of my mind.

Or, hold your breaths, my brother is crying, and the lights are out and I NEED to use the tenderest, most loving, most adoring, most revering tone I could muster so he just knows he is loved and family. Y'know? This specific situation.

And other Arabs might just say, no, I use it when, I use it when, I don't use it, etc.

The point is, nobody will mention Akhi. Because it's a Standard Arabic word, a formal word, and a word used in translated texts and stories when a foreign character we don't consider part of us call their brother. It's weird, it's devoid of emotions, and it's like watching a robot trying to be emotional, but it's a translated text. That's what translated texts use, and it's fine.

It is fine, Standard Arabic has been used for stories so much that nobody questions its influence on a character's characterisation.

I'm not saying Standard Arabic shouldn't be used for story writing, quite the opposite, in fact. I'm just saying that if Arabic is used to represent an Arab, its usage should also consider an everyday Arab experience and manners.

Now to Damian.

Akhi is robotic. Damian's personality does allow him to fall under that category. If for his well refined manners and polite, formal speech.

But even the King wouldn't call his brother Akhi.

He'd call him by his name. For my community (and most, I'm sure) siblings are called by their names, and if we look up historic Quranic (Root) Arabic speakers, they, too, call their siblings by their name. Yes, even the Sultan.

If not by actual name, then either endearing or demeaning names.

Arabs LOVE endearing names, but they're dipped in a pool of honey I don't think Damian would like to dive in.

Talia, on the other hand, would most certainly call Damian Mama. Arab parents call their kids by their own titles. It's the ultimate expression of parental love of all times, in my opinion.

(Don't make Batman call him Papa, though. Pretty sure Damian would malfunction)

-

Well, I said all that, but watching writers include Arabic words in his vocabulary is still sweet. Tt is not even a word, but it's such an Arab thing it's my favourite.

If only I could make subtitles of everyday Arab talk and show you, their speech is heavy with, excuse my English, word softeners, it's like they're talking in a TV drama and not the real world.

Watching Damian adopting it would be interesting :D


Tags
3 months ago

Gotham Gargoyles named by Robin

This is an older idea of mine that I have shared with others before, But what if the Gargoyles were all named by the Robins and it became a sort of secret code known only to them? Only those that have been Robins (or Robin adjacent to include the Batgirls). Each gargoyle at a given location is known by a name to them. So if one says "Meet me at Bartholomew." they know to go to the gargoyles at 7th and Bleaker, 8 stories up.


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5 months ago

This except like most polyglots they end up knowing certain words and phrases only in particular languages so they've created a weird new bat language. None of them know all of the languages mixed in there fluently. They hear words and understand them but they couldn't tell you which language that word is from.

multilingual batkids. they learn each others languages so they can mix and match. for example:

tim in french: have you figured out how we’re gonna tell b we’re not going to that gala yet?

damian in arabic: no i thought that was thomas’ job?

duke french: me? no jason said he’d do something

jason in arabic: hey don’t drag me into this!

dick in romani: i’m gonna kill him i really i am

steph in russian: who are we killing?

dick in english: ah! nobody! wait i didn’t know you spoke romani

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason in english: wait my greek is rusty say it again slowly

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason: …. you motherfucker

cass signing: nice drawing

damian in chinese: thank you

dick yelling at bruce about something he did

jason in spanish: what language is he speaking right now?

tim also in spanish: uh all of them i think

jason: does bruce even know-

tim: no he doesn’t


Tags
2 months ago

For some reason I truly fully believe that Kuina’s death wasn’t an accident. We know her dad was misogynistic and thought she would never become the world’s greatest swordsman. And that she was a skilled martial artist who could win fights against adults in the dojo with ease. We hear gossip amongst people at the funeral that she “fell down the storehouse steps apparently” which is just hearsay.

You expect me to believe such a talented young martial artist just slipped down the stairs and died?? No. I suspect foul play.

I refuse to accept that the canon is supposed to be an accident.


Tags
5 months ago

My Thoughts Watching Arcane S1!

I know from edits and stuff that powder becomes a villain but I really hope the siblings have their sibling relationship.

BAMF Vi, death flags have flown, powder being so proud of herself is painful and I hate misunderstanding tropes.

Jayce has no business bagging these baddies. I'm jealous.

This show is so gay omg I'm being fed

I have come to the conclusion Jayce is also a Baddie™.

I was expecting Mel to be kinda evil, seeing her be the voice of reason against senseless violence threw me off a bit.

The fight scene with Ekko and Jinx goes so hard!

The fight with Vi and Jayce goes insanely hard!!! I need this to be a video game but not League of Legends.

I kinda love that Silco isn't just a one dimensional villain and that he did love Jinx.

I fear I was wrong and Jinx may need to die for the sake of some semblance of peace :/ I'm all for the idea of choosing family over the world but holy shit the parallel of everything almost working put until Jinx intervenes hits

My girl Mel better not be dead :((

Will add as I watch S2!


Tags
4 months ago
Silhouettes For That Nightwing WIP Works Fairly Universally As References. I’m Hoping You Can See The
Silhouettes For That Nightwing WIP Works Fairly Universally As References. I’m Hoping You Can See The
Silhouettes For That Nightwing WIP Works Fairly Universally As References. I’m Hoping You Can See The
Silhouettes For That Nightwing WIP Works Fairly Universally As References. I’m Hoping You Can See The
Silhouettes For That Nightwing WIP Works Fairly Universally As References. I’m Hoping You Can See The
Silhouettes For That Nightwing WIP Works Fairly Universally As References. I’m Hoping You Can See The

Silhouettes for that Nightwing WIP works fairly universally as references. I’m hoping you can see the movement from one panel to the next clearly. Please give me feedback on that and how I can make it better.


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lostpimplepatch - Lost Pimple Patch
Lost Pimple Patch

Patch | She/Her | 22 | தமிழ் 🇮🇳🇺🇸 | I'm learning to draw so occasional fanart | Current Obsessions: One piece and Batfam

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