Dazai: I Need A Top.

Chuuya: what the fuck are you looking at?

Dazai, on the inside: You’re so beautiful and I'm so in love with every part of you. The curve of your mouth when you laugh while you're having a good fight. How you stand leaning on your side with your hands in your pocket. The way your hair shines like the sun and how you always blush when I get too close. I’m so lucky to have you. You are the greatest person I’ve ever met and I will never regret meeting you. I would find you and love you in every lifetime.

Dazai, out loud: You got shorter.

Chuuya: Shut up!

Dazai: Or what?

Chuuya, thinking what to say that could make Dazai shut up forever:

Chuuya: Or else I'll marry you!

Dazai: *malfunctions*

Dazai: I think this outfit makes me look older :D

Kyouka: But you're already old.

Dazai: EXCUSE ME, WHAT?

*the agency reorganizes and cleans the office cause it is a total mess*

Kunikida: We need a more efficient method. What about the Norwegian system Munkensmat?

The ada: ???

Kunikida: In Munkensmat, you get rid of all personal possessions except one.

Dazai: Ok I'll go first. It's between my antidepressants and this fidget spinner.

Dazai: *throws in the can his meds*

Dazai: I think I made the right call.

Dazai: Would you slap your crush's face for 2 million dollars?

Chuuya: I would roundhouse kick you in the face for free.

Dazai: Savag-

Dazai: Wait...

Dazai: WAIT-

Chuuya, panicking: fgqhcwgnaklud-

Akutagawa, opening a door he shouldn't have opened: Dazai, Chuuya?

Dazai and Chuuya shocked, as their kissing session just got disturbed: Akutagawa?

Akutagawa, concerned: Is everything alright?

Dazai: It's perfectly fine.

Dazai: Chibi, tell him what we're doing.

Chuuya: We...

Chuuya: I'm teaching him some poetry.

Akutagawa: Poetry?

Dazai:

Dazai: Yes, I love poetry.

Akutagawa:

Chuuya: I'm surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it.

Akutagawa: I'll leave you to do your poetry then...

Akutagawa: *closes the door, regretting all his life decisions*

Dazai: You're wearing make-up???

Chuuya: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?

Dazai:

Dazai: No it looks stupid...

*some moments later*

Dazai, sobbing into Odasaku's shoulder: It looked so good!!!

Odasaku: I know.

Dazai: I'm so gay...

Odasaku: *sighs* I know...

Dazai: We both look very handsome tonight!

Chuuya: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said "so do you."

Dazai: No you wouldn't.

Chuuya:

Chuuya: Yeah, you're right.

Dazai: When you see him, please don’t freak out ok?

Kunikida: I’m not going to freak out. Who ever you’re dating I’ll always be accepting of them. Even if they were working in the port mafia...

Dazai: Alright, you can come in!

*Chuuya walks in*

Kunikida: Mr. Nakahara, please get out of the way. I’m trying to see who is Dazai dating!

Chuuya: When I was 16 and incapable of expressing any feelings, I got a crush on someone and because I didn't know what else to do, I wrote them a letter on Christmas that said; "I hate your guts. Wish you are miserable for the rest of your life."

Dazai:

Dazai: ... wait whAT? IT WAS YOU?!