Dazai: Babe!

Chuuya: Are you ready to commit?

Dazai: Like, a crime, a suicide or a relationship?

Dazai: I think this outfit makes me look older :D

Kyouka: But you're already old.

Dazai: EXCUSE ME, WHAT?

Chuuya: Here's the thing. So I've known for a while now that Dazai has a little crush on me...

Kouyou: A little crush?

Chuuya:

Kouyou: Well, I suppose so, in the same way Menelaus had a little crush on Helen of Troy.

Chuuya: Yeah, I don't rlly know who they are...and I don't care, so listen...

Chuuya: The point is Dazai isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with.

Kouyou: Darling, Dazai isn't the kind of guy anyone usually goes out with...

Atsushi: What was Chuuya like when he was a little?

Dazai: Oh I think you mean young. He's always been little.

Chuuya: I find that I adore a person pleasantly more if they can speak a second language, especially French.

Dazai: Ma ciao!

Chuuya:

Akutagawa, opening a door he shouldn't have opened: Dazai, Chuuya?

Dazai and Chuuya shocked, as their kissing session just got disturbed: Akutagawa?

Akutagawa, concerned: Is everything alright?

Dazai: It's perfectly fine.

Dazai: Chibi, tell him what we're doing.

Chuuya: We...

Chuuya: I'm teaching him some poetry.

Akutagawa: Poetry?

Dazai:

Dazai: Yes, I love poetry.

Akutagawa:

Chuuya: I'm surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it.

Akutagawa: I'll leave you to do your poetry then...

Akutagawa: *closes the door, regretting all his life decisions*

*married soukoku au*

Chuuya: I dont understand. I thought we were on the same page about kids. We talked about this.

Dazai: We did?

*flashback*

Chuuya: Aw, look at these pictures of Q and Elise.

Chuuya: *shows photos of the kids in a water park*

Dazai: Mm.

Chuuya: We should do this someday. What do you think?

Dazai: Are you kidding me? Of course!

*end of flashback*

Dazai: I was talking about going to the water park! You were talking about having kids???

Chuuya: Yeah! I said, "Do you think we can afford it?" and you said, "We'll start saving right away."

Dazai: So you mean, all that water park money I've been saving, you want to spend it on kids now?

Atsushi: Chuuya kissed you?

Dazai, staring woefully out of his window: Aha...

Atsushi: And you said thank you…?

Dazai: Yeah...

Atsushi: Well that was very polite of you.

*meanwhile*

Chuuya: Thank you?!?! WTF DOES THAT MEAN?

Kouyou: He’s stupid Chuuya you know that!

Chuuya: The mission might be over, but as long as you're around, we'll always get into trouble.

Dazai, happily: Thanks Chuu!!!

Chuuya: Not a compliment.

Dazai: 😔

*Dazai and Chuuya get captured and are tied together*

Dazai: Chill out slug. It's not like you've never been tied up before.

Chuuya, talking really fast: Sure. But there weren't involved a psycho and a piece of shit.

Dazai: Am I... Okay, Am I the the psycho or the piece of shit?

Chuuya: Both.