I Wish To Walk Through Crowds Of People , And To Be Filled With A Sense Of Sonder And Disbelief As To

3:33am

I've dreamt of better days, I still do...

I should've cried less, back when I could...

Take me...away.......

I need to stop overthinking...

"I slept, and slept, with my brain alive"

"I mistook a broken mirror for anonymity, and pared a hundred "me" within"

- Astha, "my two week old butterfly days" *a random collection of my 2am monologues*

00:18

Loneliness in Cities

Art Medium : Charcoal Drama : My Liberation Notes (2022)

Vulnerable yet dominant

I wish to fill myself with answers to questions I've never asked, for my mind is a hesitant colossal of chaos and mysteries , and it demands , but wouldn't dare , to know , more...

I want to...runaway

I want to disappear

" I can't explain myself, I'm afraid,

Sir, because I'm not myself,

you see. "

I wish to be held close , curled up in bed, with someone whispering " it's alright, everything will be alright " , as I cry with outmost uncertainty and numbness / I wish to feel the warmth of their breath , as I lay with clenched fists, tears rolling down my cheeks , my nails etching moons on my sweaty palms / their hands slowly slipping into mine, asking me to hold on for a little longer, promising me that they'll never leave me / I wish to feel the prevailing silence mixed with a sense of belonging / I wish to live these moments with someone, I wish to not be left alone...

- my autumn soul, dying beautifully everyday...

- "the dead soldier's quest back home", Astha || 27.2.2022