I Want To Disappear

What if I loose myself while trying to figure out why you left me ?

I want to...runaway

//Fulminare//

I seem to have fallen for grey skies as I see myself running past gushing winds ,laying flat on the grass  humming quotes from my favorite books,those I seem to have etched onto my skin , into unknown,  poetic , compositions of music, misery and love. And oh my! running through storms , hysterically laughing , barefoot , with my hands in the air , trying to capture this feeling for I wish it to last forever.

I lost so much,

I thought I had nothing...

I suffer from stargazing...

The tragedy of being an artist is having to withhold a thousand souls in one body,

escaping only to conquer or to be doomed...

Such keen observers, how reticent to the naked eye,

yet, overwhelmingly exposed, aggressively honest, spatially present,

as if to mock oneself...

How January of a month to birth a poet in me ~

- Astha, "I should've painted my face blue", 18.01.2022

- Written by Astha Kesri

- Visuals by Vaishnavi

The text has been formatted by amalgamating the various stages my brain tends to process emotions through. With poetry and, without it.

I am extremely thankful to Vaishnavi for visualizing this piece. I can’t think of anyone else who’d film my poetry as you have. I look forward to more such collaborations where both of us can pursue our love for creating art.

@metamorphesque @kill-your-darlin @ashstfu @ritikajyala

I am 🤏🏽 close to running away to some abandoned palace and secretly live there forever...

Lines that start with "If I could ...." are so painful. They remind me of emotions I've experienced before but haven't been able to confess , to my own self or to anyone ever , their anger and fear borne numbness wording long dead dreams into a broken sentence , drawing parallels between a world we drew as kids and the one we lived through gasping for the very colors we were promised...

"I have nothing to say" , and more lies...