I Want To Create But I Also Don’t Want To

AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! WHAT GHE FUCK AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!!

guys….do we like tan nakayama???!!

the idea and concept of nakayama and his ships—where did they come from?

the idea for nakayama originated from my jujitsu kaisen interest i’m pretty sure? i mainly based him off of choso (but with religious trauma) (hence his ability, lapvona, which allows him to manipulate blood in any form unlike nathaniel’s which is more controlled) and when my friend reese brought up dazai once i was like “oh, maybe they should be friends!” and that’s one of the first ships i made.

i think the idea of nakayama x nikolai came to me in a dream, where there was this REALLY cursed fic with the tag “portal fucking”. i don’t know how to feel about that but the premise of the fic was that nakayama met nikolai and they ended up…yeah. hooking up. IM PRETTY SURE ATSUSHI WATCHED TOO???? but the ship is slightly more tame now—despite nakayama considering him “another body to dispose when he’s done with him” or when he’s not of use to him anymore.

i’m pretty sure when i first met poe (or when reese introduced me to him, far before nakayama even existed—i’m pretty sure my first oc was fumiko) i IMMEDIATELY loved him. still do btw but when nakayama came to existence i was like “man. i can’t really ship nakayama with dazai, can i?” so when the idea of nakapoe came to me I RAN FOR THE HILLS WITH THE SHIP IN MY ARMS because MY GOD did i love the idea. i’m pretty sure i built the dynamic in c.ai? i’m not too sure but the dynamic is pretty interesting (because i killed off this character that was poe’s best friend and nakayama reminded him of that friend, his name was river in the sense of “crossing the jordan river” which is a metaphor for death)

i’m pretty sure the idea of shibusawa x nakayama also came to me in a dream? also the whole “shibusawa, am i pretty” and “yes, you look wonderful” made it…considerable? despite that they don’t have many interactions together

the infamous yokohama cannibal goes to meursalt! (NOT CLICKBAIT!!)

btw the weird stick thing is supposed to be a microphone. i based it off this one scene

this too shall pass but like… when

my favorite yaoi (oc x canon, nakapoe!! or poenaka)

nakayama eats a strawberry in roblox free draw

(i should probably have a proper intro)

hello!! i’m marcel (as you can tell by my user) and i’m a bsd fan!! i’m neurodivergent and have adhd (explaining why my drawings look a tiny bit rushed, also it’s partially because i’m not too good with digital art with my hands—i have a stylus)

i’m both a fyodor and dazai kinnie (also a shibusawa, poe, and nikolai kinnie) but i promise im nice PLEASE!!!!!!

my favorite characters are probably poe, fyodor, dazai, ranpo (i find him relatable too), shibusawa, nikolai, shunzen, fukuchi, lucy, natsume, and lovecraft!

my favorite (canon character) ships are kuniango and atsulucy, and akulucy! i’m also a fan of my oc x canon ships (or any oc x canon ships in general!)

my favorite bands/artists are:

london after midnight

fear cult

mark bernes

the apples in stereo

the garages

bôa

and i enjoy classical music!

Reblog to make it die faster

and for my next trick, cannibalism!