Philadelphia PA USA

Remember to say Please Sir and Thank You Sir.

THE HYPNOFETISH TRUST PYRAMID

A BRIEF GUIDE TO A HEALTHY, KINKY HYPNOTIC RELATIONSHIP by FallingInward

For those of you new to the hypnosis kink scene, you may be eager to play and wonder “why should I care about all of this?” In short, it will not only make you a better hypnotist (or subject), but will allow you to establish a relationship in which your suggestions have more bang-for-your-buck. This guide is aimed more at hypnotists/dominants and assumes that you probably want to mix in some dominant / submissive play in with your hypnosis. Here I will outline a framework for a healthy relationship and why that is beneficial to exploring your kink. There are many concepts borrowed from the bdsm community that apply equally to a relationship between hypnotist and subject in a non-d/s context. You will notice that I talk a lot about aftercare – that’s because aftercare is one of the most important aspects of play, yet easily overlooked if you aren’t experienced yet.

TRUST = RELAXATION = HYPNOTIC POTENCY

Have you ever heard the saying “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar”? It’s true, especially when it comes to hypnotism. Perhaps the single most important aspect of hypnotic suggestion is rapport, which is the degree of connection and trust between subject and hypnotist.

Many inductions involve relaxation because relaxation is one of several ways to bypass the “critical factor” (or “critical filter” as some call it), the mental processes people use to evaluate incoming information. Relaxation is just one a way of coaxing a subject to be less guarded with their thoughts, which works best if the subject already feels comfortable. Relaxation is not the only way, and if you are looking for a magic bullet to make your suggestions have that extra OOMF! then I’ll tell you what it is: TRUST. Trust is a surefire way to loosen up that critical factor and let your suggestions slip right in. But wait, there’s more! Trust also helps with relaxation, so you get a multiplier effect. After all, humans are social creatures. We keep our guard up to varying degrees when we interact with people, but this guard requires some amount of mental effort to maintain. We don’t think about it much, but if you’ve ever gone through a long job interview, or a party with people who you desperately needed to think well of you (in-laws, potential employers, etc.) then you know that watching every word you say and paying close attention to others is eventually draining.

It follows that removing the need to be guarded would allow the subject to become more relaxed naturally. The deeper the trust, the easier it becomes for a subject to go with the flow and to accept suggestions without critically evaluating them.

BENEVOLENT CONTROL

Are you someone who wants to use hypnosis in a dominant/submissive relationship with someone? Perhaps you have fantasies of an obedient servant, brainwashed pet, or mindless puppet? Maybe you would like to be one of those things?

Your best bet is to establish a safe, healthy relationship. I’ve seen the alternative in a few different communities now as both a community member and a moderator. Time and again I’ve seen predators seek out these fantasies by forcing themselves on unsuspecting victims or abusing trust, only to lose control and have those fantasies crumble when the submissive runs away.

It is self-defeating to exhibit short-term selfishness in a context where you could get more by being mutualistic or caring. If you want to control someone, especially hypnotically, one of the best way is with trust. And the best way to build trust is – I know this is shocking – be trustworthy. Trust me, this is one of the rare situations in life where you can have your cake and eat it, too. It takes a little more time, but the payoff is way more satisfying. A trusting, healthy relationship is more likely to last longer, which means that you will have more time to assert your control and reinforce your suggestions. Bam! Potency. Perhaps you are a sadist and you really want to cause pain or discomfort. Guess what? This applies double to you. A submissive in a healthy, trusting relationship is going to be able to endure a lot more torment without ditching you, and some of the most masochistic people out there are just waiting to find someone they can trust to push them slowly but surely past their current limits, the right way. All it takes is genuinely caring about your partner; if you do things right, you can break them over, and over, and over again.

Regardless of the type of play you enjoy, you are a lot more likely to achieve those deep levels of control if your partner is comfortable within that control.

THE PYRAMID

I’ve broken down some common elements that can be used to establish a safe, trusting relationship. This is by no means a definitive guide, and I have seen many variations. The key is making sure that you and your partner understand and consent to the nature of your relationship.

Level 1: Humanity

Even if you are someone who is really into objectifying, humiliating, or degrading your partner in a scene, outside of the scene the best way to establish trust is to rigidly uphold their basic humanity. This means:

Communication - Talk about what you are going to do and how you are going to do it.

Consent - Make sure your partner consents with what you are going to do.

Consensual Non-consent (con non-con) means agreeing in advance to a conditions when someone is permitted to ignore the usual rules of consent, perhaps including commands to stop. In these cases, it is common to establish safe words, or signals for when play has gone too far (for instance say ‘yellow’ to slow down and talk, or say ‘red’ to stop immediately)

Dubious Consent (dubcon) means not getting explicit consent for certain actions. This can be dangerous unless you have a high degree of trust and all participants are very aware of their partners’ preferences. When dealing with dubcon, someone in a dominant position must be hyper-aware of the condition of their submissive(s) to ensure that what they are doing is acceptable. Dubcon is more common when dealing with play that the involved parties have done with each other in the past, so there are pre-existing expectations. Be careful: just because someone has consented in the past does not mean that they are comfortable with the same actions in the present.

Safety - Be aware of risks in your play. Ideally, any danger to the physical or mental health of your partner should be known in advance and precautions put into place. This does not necessarily mean that your partner knows the details of all the actions involved in play – if your consent arrangement allows leeway for surprises and creativity. In these situations, it is the dominant’s responsibility to account for potential risks. In hypnotic play, the most likely form of harm is psychological. This can include mitigating abreactions, dealing with poorly worded or misinterpreted suggestions, or managing stress associated with high-intensity play (burnouts and crashes).

Safety doesn’t mean that no harm will occur. If harm is likely, “risk-aware” consent is important.

If you are an amateur hypnotist, be careful when you attempt new kinds of play. Don’t be afraid to ask more experienced hypnotists for advice before trying something new. Some types of play are more dangerous than others. In particular, I would advise against personality play (creating artificial personas, especially named ones) and other play that has the potential for long-lasting side effects.

If you get in over your head, seek professional help. This is the same as going to a doctor if something goes wrong in a physical bdsm scene. If you are not trained in psychological treatment, don’t be afraid to take your partner to a professional.

Aftercare, Aftercare, AFTERCARE - Opening your mind to someone can be an intense experience, especially if it was with the intention of being controlled or manipulated. Even if every part of your session was PERFECT, the subject may still feel vulnerable, uncertain, or confused. The best thing you can do is BE there and show you care. If your subject has been under for a long time, make sure to ask them whether they need to use the restroom or get a drink of water, etc. as it is easy to lose track of basic needs after an intense or deep hypnotic experience. Help your subject recenter their consciousness around their self and physical body.

Respect - Your partner is a living, breathing human being and deserves to be treated as such, regardless of the nature of your play. This means that they deserve input into the play, and they have the right to a fulfilling relationship with you. (Submissive’s Bill of Rights)

Level 2: Friendship

I’ve seen some people who put d/s relationship before friendship. It’s possible, but from everything I’ve seen, putting friendship first gets better, longer-lasting results.

Mutualism - Both you and your partner should be getting some kind of fulfillment out of your interactions. Even if you are someone who is into being used or abused, there should be something about the experience that makes you want to continue the relationship. All parties involved have the right to mutual benefit, even if it is wrapped in the guise of exploitation for the purpose of a scene.

Caring - Showing that you genuinely care about your partner’s safety and fulfillment serves as a powerful base for the rest of your interactions. Even if you are a total ego-maniac, I can assure you; it is definitely a point worthy of pride to care what happens to your partner. If you are truly in control, you can provide an experience that is good for both of you. Wear your caring like a badge of honor; it puts you above the people who don’t.

Trust - If you have maintained all of these other crucial aspects of interaction, you might be worthy of your partner’s trust. Trust is both earned and given; some partners may require more effort on your part to establish a trusting relationship, especially if they have had their trust broken by someone in the past. Trust is also two-way; are you willing to put your trust in them? It will be easier for your partner to trust you if you are able to do the same. Here are some possible ways to encourage trust:

Respecting Limits - If you play often with someone, chances are that you will encounter one of their limits. Knowing when to slow down or stop can help your partner be more comfortable with more extreme forms of play because they have seen first-hand that you will respect their limits.

Consistent Responsibility - If you take your time and start with lower-risk or lower-intensity play, you can show your partner that you are responsible consistently. This goes a long way to building trust, and prepares your relationship for more intense play later.

Switching - Switching is when you and your partner reverse roles. In this context, it could mean them hypnotizing you, perhaps even in a dominant context. Switching can give you insight into your partner’s feelings, experiences and preferences. If you are typically dominant, experiencing submission or showing vulnerability can go along way to gaining trust with your primary partner, even if you are switching with someone else entirely. It takes a strong person to be in control all the time, but an even stronger person to be comfortable in situations when they are not in control! If switching isn’t for you, that’s fine, but many subjects will feel safer with someone who has been in their position. It also helps with your abilities as a hypnotist and/or dominant to understand the position of the subject/submissive.

Level 3: Play Relationship

At this point we are talking about the relationship between you and your partner(s) as hypnotist/subject, dominant/submissive, or switching partners. Now that you have built a strong foundation, you can define how you want to interact with each other!

Expectations - What do you expect from your partner(s) and what do they expect from you? This will be unique for every relationship, so communication is key. Here are some examples of common topics in the hypnofetish community:

Nature of the Relationship - Is this a romantic relationship? A sexual one? Is it purely play with no strings attached? Define what you are hoping to get out of this, and negotiate these with your partner. Do you want to involve titles like “Mistress” or “Sir”? Do you expect an ‘ownership’ relationship in the d/s sense?

Exclusivity - Do you expect the other person to be an exclusive partner or do they expect that from you? Do you have any pre-existing relationships? Are you expecting a casual relationship or committed?

Roles - Do you expect to always be the top/dominant? Do you expect to always be the submissive? Is switching okay? If so, in what context? Some people are okay with certain roles, but only in certain context or with certain caveats. For instance, it is common for switches to dislike being dominated by someone who does not recognize that they have a dominant side.

Time Commitment - How often do you and your partner want to play? Do your schedules align? Are any times NOT okay for playing? Is there a minimum amount of interaction you are comfortable with? A maximum?

Boundaries of Play - For those of you familiar with game design theory, this would be called the “magic circle”. This means the context in which you play, and which rules/expectations are applicable in that context. These could be a time, a place, or perhaps the mood of the participants. It could also mean defining safe words that mean “this is NOT a time to play.” If you have a d/s relationship, determine whether this relationship is in full effect all the time, or only at specific times. Some examples:

“When is it okay to hypnotize you?”

“Can I do subtle suggestions when we are talking to make you more ‘in the mood’ to play?”

“I don’t mind calling you ‘Mistress’ out of respect, but I won’t do it in front of my parents or coworkers”

“When I come home from work, it is important that you don’t play with me until you’ve made sure I didn’t have a really bad day.”

“I’ve really enjoyed our play, and I would like you to be my full-time subject. That would mean following any order at any time.”

“Well, that interests me, but there are certain orders that aren’t okay at certain times. However, I could definitely agree to always call you ‘master’ and to always follow orders that don’t disrupt my daily life or harm me.”

Types of Play - Are there any experiences or kinks you really want to incorporate into your play? How about your partner? Where are the overlaps? Is there anything new you want to try? Which things are definitely okay, maybe okay, or definitely NOT okay? Examples:

“It’s okay for you to do memory play, but please let me remember everything after we’re done for the day.”

“I’m okay with you using NLP to give me covert suggestions, but only if we agreed on those kinds of suggestions in advance.”

“I really like being turned into a cow hypnotically, but please no lactation stuff.”

Responsibility - What are the responsibilities you have in the relationship? Very often, a hypnotist/dominant’s responsibilities include preparation, safety, and aftercare. A subject’s responsibilities could include giving feedback, being self-aware about potential problems, and making sure that their interpretations of commands and suggestions meet expectations (example: A dominant could make it clear to a subject that certain suggestions or commands are supposed to be ignored if the play is interrupted. Many experienced hypnosubs are able to do emergency removal of suggestions like this; a great safety skill to work on!)

Example dominant / hypnotist responsibilities:

Researching new techniques before trying them

Preparing a scene

Providing emergency contact info in case a suggestion has unwanted lasting side effects and the subject needs help.

Setting up safety precautions during a session/scene (like “if your boss talks to you, all these suggestions will stop effecting you instantly”)

Aftercare - Always always always always set aside an appropriate amount of time to help your subject recover after a session. If you aren’t sure how much time this should be, play it safe and schedule more! With hypnosis involved, especially with deep trances, sometimes it takes a while for a subject to recover to a point where they can function normally. This can potentially be scary if the subject is left alone during this time. The ‘tist should be available to help the subject return to a “normal” state of mind, and to provide comfort if the subject is feeling particularly vulnerable, scared, or drained after the experience.

Example subject / submissive responsibilities (For bonus fun, these can be given by a dominant as commands if that is the nature of your relationship!)

“It is important that you always tell me if you are scared.”

“Don’t accept any suggestion that would cause you permanent harm” - This one should also be reinforced hypnotically as a safety precaution

“I expect you to never lie about whether a session was a positive experience.”

Level 4: Scene

Now that you’ve defined your relationship, desires, interests, etc. It’s time to play! In bdsm terms, the scene is the context within which you play – the time, place, and types of play you engage in.

Remember, it’s perfectly acceptable to draw a line about where/when the scene begins and ends, so it’s fine to define limits and definitions like “I want to worship you as a goddess when we are playing, but I don’t think of you that way when we aren’t in a scene – you are just my close friend.” or “I want you to make me into a dumb bimbo tonight, but please treat me as an intelligent person afterwards.”

There are so many types of hypnotic play that I couldn’t possibly cover them, so have fun experimenting!

Learning the ropes

How to Tie Flogging Cuffs - KnottyBoys 

Thinking of someone special today.

Thank you.

Being a bimbo

What does it mean to me to be a complete bimbo?

Dress and look sexy all the time

Always have my hair and makeup done

Always be horny and ready to please

Always smile

Always agree and be positive

Eat healthy

Stay fit to have the perfect body

Always try to improve myself and be perfect for my partner

Listen to my partner

Obey my partner

Be happy

Options to consider. 

Consider others input but make sure you are the one deciding on what you want to do and are comfortable doing. Be comfortable in your own skin. :)

Steps to Becoming a Bimbo

So, I have posted some different thoughts on bimbo and what I think means to be a bimbo. A lot of the responses I have received is that a bimbo is whatever you and your man want it to be. So, with that thought in mind, I have decided to post what I think a bimbo is, along with steps that I took and am taking to become a bimbo. Some of these steps I took before I decided to become a bimbo. So, with further ado here is what I think of a bimbo. I think a bimbo is a naturally happy girl who is submissive. She appears ditzy and unintelligent as she is more focused what brings her pleasure than scholastic endeavors. She is focused on her looks and is always trying to look sey that she is willing to put herself through plastic surgery to fix any flaws she might have, And finally, she is a girl, she epitomizes stereotypical feminity. So now that we know what we are looking for, we can now figure how to reach that goal. So here are MY steps to becoming a bimbo.

1. Smile more…I had a picture recently that goreanmann(another great blog), tifhat said nothing sexier than a great smile. I could not agree  more, but a smile is not all, what does the smile represent. it should indicate…

2. Cheerfulness…So, gret you are smiling, but if the smile is one that I am going to slit your throat, well that is not really bimbo, so just be happier. Do things that will make you smile

3. Worry less…Become more oblivious to the worries of the world, this kind of goes with step 2

4. Focus on what brings you pleasure. Again this goes with number 2, but even if what you want to do is may get slightly ridiculed do it anyway if it makes you happy, and employ step 3 and just not worr what others think.

5. Say Yes..Now I am ripping off AnniDoll’s blog…I was going to say try new things but saying yes helps on two fronts…One it helps you find new things to bring you pleasure and two it makes you more submissive…Again, you may need to use step 3 if it is something that you are uncomfortable with.

6. Giggle, not laugh…Now that we have worked on part of the personality, let us try some behavior things. Instead of laughing, just let out a giggle instead. A giggle is a softer more girlish version of a laugh, you know it when you hear, and try and giggle more, see step 2.

7. Make up…Now I know some expect me to say, start applying your make up like a whore, but no, you want to take small steps, start with a little more, or if you don’t wear any at all, just add a little bit of blush, maybe a tinge of gloss.

8. Knickers…So we are feeling beautiful on the outside, you would expect that continue. But no, in my experience I feel that it can be uncomfortable to dress as a slut at first but no one know what sort of naughty girl you are if you start wearing sexy knicker first.

9. Exercise/Diet…This is more of an option step.. Let us say you are comfortable wearing some more revealing things but do not have the body for it…So just tone up, you want to look your best so treat your body right…Plus you will have more energy to be happier

10. Dress/Skirts…Skirts and dress are decidely female clothes, so start adding them to your wardrobe, and even wear stockings, underneath for that sexy look

11. Heels…Now that we are in a skirt, let us done some heels. Heels make your legs and bum look better. Start small if you are not use to wearing them. I have a post in my bimbo writing that kind of glosses over how to walk in them.

12. More Makeup…So, here we are, a knee length skirt some heels, stockings and possible a cute blouse. Our face is a little done up, we just need to add little more make up, really gloss those lips, add some eye shadow etc

13. Revealing outer wear..Now we can get to some of the more clothes, nothing to extreme, but maybe that knee length skirt becomes an inch or two short, that blouse loses a few buttons up top, or if not at work, maybe becomes a tank top that shoes a little belly and cleavage.

14. Degrading comments…This is the hard part…So here we are at a bar, wearing decent make up, rocking a mid thigh skirt, tank top, 2 inch heels and stockings. Well, that is going to attract some unsavory comments, go with step 1 2 and 3. Just smile, giggle, thank them and go on your way…Some will be usy I always recommend using my boyfriend is over there.

15. Orgasm…So far I have left off anything actual sexual…The reason for this is I want you to feel comfortable in your own skin…So now that you can take damn girl you got a nice arse, I think you feel good about yourself…so start, some of you may already have one, a routine of orgasming twice a day, three times if you can manage it..I always orgasm at least twice a day…once in the morning and once at night…If you do it in the morning, it make the entire day just happy.

16. Porn/Sex toys…So let us say you are fairly inexperienced in sex, just a few romps with some boyfriends that left you not to excited about sex…Watch porn, study, see some of the stuff that they do, if you have a boyfriend watch it with him…maybe you can try some stuff see if that excites you. I listed toys as part of the orgasm, if you having trouble with getting off with your fingers try some toys…

17 Accessorize…Now we get to doll ourself up like we did our barbies as a child…Some of you may wonder why this is so far down the list…so what if I am wearing some bracelets or ear rings…Well when I think of accessories I think of more body modification sort…Such as ear rings but maybe have a belly ring,  tongue ring, or add some extra ear rings…Stuff that is considered trendy

18. Sluttier Dressing So now we re getting more and more comfortable let step it up a notch…Wear skirts that show of the top of your stockings. wear tube tops, etc You should be proud of your body at this poin show it off.

19. Schedule appointment at salon…The reason I am doing salon, is because a lot of girl’s do not know how to do their nails, or do real heavy make up. Schedule an appointment at  salon, let them take care of you, you deserve…But while you are there ask them questions, like how do you do this what do you recommend when I do this…Most will be more than happy to answer you…(this is were I added streaks of blonde to my hair)

20. Have more sex…This is preferable with a significant other as there are some weirdos…If you have a man try and have sex once a day if you can spare it…just get use to having sex it is great for tension.

21. Learn more about sex…If you have sex once a day it can get kind of boring so spice things up, try new position, try some light bondage, spanking etc…just never let it become dull

22. Become comfortable with sex…So now that we having more and more sex and trying new things…You should already be pretty comfortable with sex so some one make a raunchy joke that normally you would have been awkward with just giggle at it, or even tell your own stories…If you bf wants his cock sucked in the mall parking lot…remember lways say yes and just do it…

23. Hair colour….Remember this is just my steps…But go ahead dye your hair something exotic remember we are doing it to look our best, so if your man like a red head go red, or whatever colour excites him.( this is where I am at)

24. Reassess…The step after this is to me one of the biggest and is the last one, so before we do it , let us make sure we can lie with being a bimbo…Can you live with people thinking that you some what slutty, can you live with people treating you like a ditz…Can you live with your man telling you. not asking but telling you to suck their cock…If yes proceed to step 25 if no reasses if you will ever be able to…Once you come to grips you can go to step 25, if you never can but are comfortable with what you are now then just live happy, or maybe change your look.

25. Extreme Body Mods. Now by extreme I do not mean getting GG sized tits but I mean go get surgery done, if you boobs to small get them up a size, need better,as goreannman puts it, thanks my man calls them this, cock pads plump them. Nose to big shrinking it. Do whatever you think will make you look pretty…Also, twat piercings and tit piercings are apart of this because these are more sexual piercings than the others. Disclaimer, I know a bimbo is submissie but this is decision that should ultimately be yours…You will be the one who has the boobs the rest of your life…Let your man hve osme input but make sure you are the one deciding.

So here are my 25 steps…I did not mean it to end up 25 I just thought of all I have done along with stuff I written down when younger….If you have any suggestiong please feel free I am certain I forgot something. or maybe did not add it to one of my posts such now that I think about it the giggling…When you do not understand something just giggle Remember the first two steps Smile and be cheerful…if being a bimbo does not amke you happy do be one…

This is just plain good relationship advice regardless of certain words/lables.

10 ways to worship your Master

1.       Always kiss His cock after he’s fucked you or let you suck him off … tell him how wonderful his cock tastes/feels/looks, and how much you love it. … and say “Thank You Master”

2.       Be kind – it’s not all about rules, or play, sometimes take the time to watch him, get a sense of His mood, is He stressy? Is he tired? Try to be in tune with what He needs, and when you can make His life - better do so.  You can do lots of nice things – simple acts of kindness and goodness, bake a cake, litter the house with scribbled post it notes hidden in cupboards, in His wallet, in His favourite girlie mag or on the bathroom mirror. If he’s ill make him soup, bring him warm drinks before he needs to ask, bring Him a cushion if he’s been sat to long hunched over a laptop.  

3.       Be proud to be His. Stand for what you believe in. Call Him Master in public/ with vanilla friends – maybe not constantly, but when it matters. If you’re asked to go somewhere – say “I’ll ask my Master”. Your friends may think you’re jesting, but by the time they realise you aren’t you’ll probably find they’re pretty accepting.  Mine were. I always deferred on important decisions and asked them to ask Him. Every time you’re honest about your relationship it reaffirms the dynamic.

4.       Pay attention to what He likes – forget anything, but remember what matters to Him, His core values, his worries, His preferences, His favourite smells, foods, colours, fabrics etc.

5.       Don’t try to be an expert on His interests though.  I’m starting to realise that actually me and my Master are different. He is logical, and has a scientific, mathematical, right-brained man’s mind. I on the other hand, am typically left brained and artistic. I do not understand what He is talking about when he talks about physics. But it doesn’t matter – I enjoy listening to Him talking passionately about something. I don’t need to understand all of it, or how it works.  People so oftenly mistake showing interest with debating or firing inquisitory questions at the other person. It’s actually really nice that we are different – it balances us perfectly. I don’t try to outsmart Him on His topics or question Him.  I wondered if this might actually be a problem of where the bimbo-ideal and living it would give rise to a conflict of desires he might have, but He doesn’t need or expect me to understand.

6.       Learn role-appropriate-skills to make His life wonderful.  Being submissive is a discipline. It’s kind of like being a geisha. It is about (particularly for doll-types) aspiring to perfection. So presentation is everything – perfect self presentation, perfect home, perfect meals. Learn everything you can about home care – cleaning tips- cooking skill- sexual skills- beauty tips- massage tips- exercise facts-and do everything with grace and skill. Practice speaking nicely, moving elegantly and learn how to hold yourself and at what angles you look best. Learn to communicate effectively and appealingly – find out if He wants you to be explicit , or more subtle, to communicate using specific words or sometimes in your tone, your eye contact and body language, and learn to listen , active listening makes for better relationships. Take time to process his questions before responding.  It is nice to be unquestioning and the ideal of submission is surrender as an absolute not a semi-version but as a relationship its really important to comprehend what is being communicated to you , so even if you fully plan to agree – pause and absorb before moving on.

7.       Be useful to Him. In public do whatever He needs. Be His personal cheerleader, or right hand woman, his rock and confidente. Laugh at jokes you don’t understand. Don’t criticize Him even as part of general hen-crowd-man-baiting. Be near enough to him that you are by His side, but let him shine – don’t cling to Him and be in the way, be devoted and patient, serene and poised.  It’s ok to be a private performer and to put on a show when He tells you. But be what He needs when He needs it and understand that what is expected or desired may change based on environment.

8.       Make His life easier. He may get final say on things but don’t ask Him about everything, it can be exhaustive. Like home furnishings. I have pretty much always had the D/s M/s dynamic in all my adult relationships . Never, have I met a Master, or man for that matter that particularly cares about curtains.  From what I understand generally the topic is boring and you only make a pest of yourself running to Him with catalogues of fabric. If you know what colours He likes narrow it to maybe 3 options you think He will like. The same applies on other things that he finds dull or laborious – i.e. food shopping, anything He may need for health or self care.

9.       Tell Him things that you appreciate about what He does for you i.e.  patience, promoting your confidence, learn to see the things that go beyond “kink” (I hate that word so much).

10.   Believe in him. Trust him… believe in His dreams even if you don’t understand them…do everything you can to help him flourish towards his own happiness… offer to promote his restaurant, offer to help Him gift shop for children/women/relatives in his life, offer to promote his craft or art through social media, offer anything that you think is of service or benefit to Him. 

q��SI

Old school wisdom.

Submissive Housewife Truths (that may take some getting used to)

📌 Home cooked meals are a necessity. If you are a homemaker you should not be ordering food in or picking up take-out.

📌 Your husband’s career goals are now your goals as well. You may have to put your own career aspirations on the back burner until your children are in school full time or no longer living in the house.

📌 Your husband has the final say in household/familial issues and your obedience is key.

📌 Always respond “yes” or “okay” when your husband asks something of you. This displays respect.

📌 Your tone will either foster communication or set it back; in essence your tone sets the tempo of the relationship. Be cognizant of the manner in which you speak to your husband. Aggressive and nagging speech can negatively affect your marriage.

📌 Your husband should always be sexually satiated…if he is not it is up to you to reevaluate how you can better please him. Your pleasure should be derived from pleasing him.

📌 A disorganized home breeds chaos and unrest. Always do your best to clean the house as best you can.

Types of intimacy

So well said. I wish I had thought of those words. So easily spoken. So accurate.

We all experience this.