Perfect Paddle For Summer Bikini Season.

I wonder what is playing on that headset. I'd love to know. Is she listening to a lecture related to economics, a classic book on philosophy or music or bimbo hypno tracks?

Something to keep in mind.

I know exactly what I’m doing.

Honestly, I’m such a tease. I’ll forever act like I don’t want to be taken advantage of. I constantly act like I don’t want to submit. The truth is, I want you to force me. Don’t get me wrong, If I say my safeword I want you to stop. But, no matter how many times I say “no” I really mean “make me”. I want you to grab my jaw and force my mouth open while you tell me to be a good little whore for you. I want you to pull me over your lap and spank me until I’m dripping wet and sobbing while you whisper dirty things in my ear. I want you to pull my hair and slap my face and tell me that I’m just your pathetic little fucktoy. Then, after you turn me into a sobbing mess, I want you to tell me that I’m the prettiest little slut you’ve ever seen. Finger me while you tell me how good I feel around your fingers. Fuck me as hard as you can while telling me how pretty my moans sound. Then when I’m about to cum tell me to hold it. Tell me I don’t get to cum until after you do. Tell me that’s I’ll I’m good for. Pound into me until it hurts while you praise me for always being so good for you. Make me want to be your cheap slut and your princess and I’ll worship you like the god you are.

Initiating Play as a Submissive

It’s not very common for me to initiate sex or play. That’s mostly because we have plenty of both as it is. My needs are met before I even think to go after them myself. 

But also, I’m not sure I’m any good at initiating. I’m good at subtle teasing and playfulness when I’m feeling needy. I’m good at having conversations where I state my needs clearly and directly (e.g., “I am beginning to feel like I will need a spanking soon”). But I’m not great at overtly initiating in a sexy way. With my ex-husband, I sometimes initiated sex by saying, “So how about you and me have some sex later?” That line had a 100% success rate, for the record. But yeah… I don’t have a lot of game. 

The other issue is that initiating play feels somehow wrong as a submissive. In my head, I know it’s not. In my head, I know that initiating is a suggestion, not a decision. But the bolder the come-on, the more uncomfortable it feels. Like I’m wearing someone else’s clothes. 

Still, sometimes I do try to initiate. I know he likes to see my hunger for him. He likes to see where my head is at and what I want. So the other day I put on lingerie and heels, then laid floggers and canes neatly on the bed. They were mostly—though not exclusively—my favorite implements. I’d never been so bold, and it made me nervous. Was it going too far? Would I earn a punishment for pushing a little too hard? I didn’t think so, but then again, this was uncharted territory. I was barely ready by the time he got home. 

We had a wonderful impact session, with deep, thuddy pain and enough tears to feed my sadist. But first, he started with something he knows I dislike. He started with hitting my pussy. It almost felt like punishment to me, but in a playful way. It felt as if he were saying, Okay, girl. You want impact? I’ll give you impact… It felt like a reminder that I should be careful not to forget my place. But when we talked after, he said that wasn’t it.

“I was saying, Okay, you had a good idea. Now you can let go. I will take it from here. Because I didn’t want you to be in your head about whether I really wanted it or if I was doing it for you.”

And truthfully, that is fair. A cornerstone of our relationship is that I am absolutely not in charge. I am considered a trusted advisor; he wants to know my thoughts and feelings and opinions. But the choices are his. And that’s exactly how I want it. Our power exchange is sacred to me, and I never want to do anything that could undermine it. 

I think this is why it’s so hard for me to initiate. Initiating is a bold declaration of my own wants. And in some respects, I need for my wants to come last. I prefer to express my wants indirectly—through porn I share with him or flirty “I was thinking about that time when…” comments. Laying it all out there (literally) feels like putting my wants first. It feels like stepping out of my place.

But when he started hitting my pussy, as much as I hated it, those concerns washed away. That action calmed my brain. It reassured me that his wants come before mine. And with that, I was able to let go and stay in the moment, rather than overthinking my own actions.

I’m learning to trust that the power exchange we’ve built is strong, and a few implements suggestively laid on the bed won’t be enough to derail it. I’ve been with some insecure Dominants in the past who never would have allowed it. But Monsieur has shown me time and time again that I can rely on his firm control. He makes decisions carefully and with purpose. Sometimes he says no, and sometimes he says yes. Either way, making the suggestion isn’t the same as taking charge. If he chooses to do something for me, it’s because that’s what he wants to do. It’s that simple. 

The more we talk about it, the more confident I grow in trying to initiate play. Now I’m even wondering if it’s time to step up my game. Maybe next time, I drop a crop in his lap and give him some raised eyebrows and a wink wink. That’s how you flirt, right?

Being a social airhead

I said a few times recently that people around me, other than at work, considered me an airhead. Well even at work even if I’m considered as very efficient and knowledgeable in my field of work, I pass sometimes for an airhead especially with people that don’t work directly with me. Work is the part where the looks give the first impression.

Being a social airhead took me quite some time to master, it’s not something you can do in one day. It took me about two years to get to the point where I can even say acting (being) an airhead has almost become a safe place for me. It hasn’t really changed over time the way I do it, but I just fall in character very fast right now and yes sometimes it’s hard to get back to be smart.

In a social context looks and attitude can be a very efficient way to have someone consider you as an airhead. In general being blonde is a good start but to dress rather sexy gives a big plus. People will assume, most of them, that you are dumb. Then you just need to adjust the attitude a bit and there you go. That’s even easier when people around you ask you questions, by being vague you’ll give out the airhead impression to the people you are interacting with. Here are a few examples

People ask you about politics

A : Politics is so complicated (with an eye roll or a giggle)

They will assume you don’t understand anything about politics, but when you really think about it, politics is a very complicated subject if you want to discuss it in depth.

People ask you about travelling

A : OMG it’s so much fun, I love going to the beach (saying it very excited and bubbly)

People will assume you just like to party and wear bikinis. Even though you know you love hiking too, visiting museums, etc… By skiping the full subject people assume you’re an airhead.

People ask you about fashion

A : ‘start talking very fast’ about shoes, accessories, you favotire designers, etc…

People assume it’s your main interest and you’re a bit superficial.

People ask you about your love life

A : My fiancée is so great, I love him so much, etc… and add some details about sex life.

Then they completely assume your a bimbo.

General discussion

(ALWAYS answer the first thing that comes up in your mind, maybe add a little “ummm” before answering like you’re thinking really hard)

As I said it’s probably the same thing an actor does when they get into character, it usually takes me a bit of time to adjust to “play” airhead. With practice the time has dramatically reduced. To get into it, it takes me about 30 minutes… then I go deeper and deeper into my airhead space which I now call my “safe happy place”. For me it’s where all the worries vanish, where I’m just enjoying life in it’s purerest form. Not thinking about work or anything serious, no need to focus anymore, being very confused about simple discussions. It’s a very comfortable place to be. The only drawback about this, the longer I am in that “space” the longer it takes to come back up to normal. If I spend a weekend in that space it’ll take me a few hours to go back to being “normal”. A week, took me about a day and it was very hard I had to focus.

Do I have a trigger, not really, it just happens with the social context I’m in. If we go clubbing then I do drop into that space instantly. Sometimes Daddy asks me to go in that space, then it takes a bit more time. But there’s no trigger, I go in and out as I please usually.

One important thing, even if people sometimes call me dumb in my face I take it as a compliment. To me being dumb isn’t bad, it’s having less worries and being happy. Dumb = happy and I want to be happy in life.

Yes I’ll say it again I do really love using my brain and my job as well. I wouldn’t let go any of this except for maybe one thing. But I love my career at this point and I hope to climb the corporate ladder quite fast. Being very competitive helps a lot

🐰

I instantly fell in love. So many desires, fantasies, wants evoked.

Sharing the wealth

Since no one seems to be able to build an import tool to get our stuff out of here on to another site and, tumblr’s export tool seems to not want to play with explicit blogs…I went searching for something to save my blogs

https://github.com/johanneszab/TumblThree

This downloaded my blog to my C drive in less than 5 minutes. I also backed up my vanilla blog and it saved it separately in it’s own folder

And because "this cannot be reblogged often enough", I'm reblogging it.

we need more women

Our generation needs women.

Not girls who are trying to be men.

We need more women who are excited and enthusiastic about becoming wives, mothers, homemakers, and nurturers.

Not women who think that assuming these natural roles will make them weak or ignorant.

We need more women who understand the strength and empowerment that comes with embracing femininity.

We need more women who understand the value of looking soft yet having a strong heart.

We need more women who want to serve and honor their husbands in return for endless protection and cherishment.

We need women who can’t wait to begin their lives as mothers, and not see having children as the end of their youth.

We need more women who value their appearance not only for their husbands but for themselves as well.

We need more women who are not frightened by the abounding love their hearts have to give, and do not wish to suppress their natural inclination towards emotional nurturing.

We need more women who are excited to submit to their husbands, instead of constantly competing with them to be the man in the relationship.

We need more women.