Latest Posts by maverick1277 - Page 6

your daily reminder that choosing to be a stay at home wife and mother is both a full time job and a valid option that should be respected

I did not write this article but have kept it with me for a very long time because it means so much to me. I hope you enjoy it and see submission, and why people choose this lifestyle in a whole new light.

Why she wants to be a submissive - The Importance of Submission

In my conversations with submissive women, one thing stands out prominently and that is very few men realize the importance that submission holds for her.   It is far more than a physical experience, it is an emotional connection with you so meaningful that it contains her very soul.   Though d/s is often very light and spontaneous and sometimes treated as a special sensual playtime, for her it is what is most real in her life.   It is NOT a game.   To treat it as such is to do her a great injustice for it trivializes her greatest expression of love.

Not all women want to be a 24/7 slavegirl.   This manual is written for to the man luckily enough to have found a woman who does.   In it I will try and express as many of her submissive feelings as I can and to give you ideas on how to treat her so she feels that being your slave is an intrinsic and natural part of her daily life with you, just as much as it has already been an intrinsic element of her being.

Submission is Erotic

Before I get lost in some of the reasons why being submissive is such a powerful desire, I want to make the point that being submissive is extremely erotic.   It touches her sexuality in the most powerful way and when combined with all the mental, emotional and physical aspects of a relationship, it can often be the most sexually intense and emotionally fulfilling experience a woman can ever have.   In fact, many women have confided in me that they are afraid of the intensity of their sexual energy.   They fear they should they reveal the full extent of their sexual excitement at being a slavegirl they will not be understood.   Often, the smallest of looks or commands will leave them drenched with sexual excitement.   As her Master, it should be your pleasure to extract each nuance of sexual pleasure from her.

When she gives herself to you completely, she is also giving you the freedom to explore the depths of her sexuality and passion, to take her places she cannot go herself, to have experiences she probably cannot ask for.   She is depending on you, her Master, to give her the push to get beyond any resistance you may encounter.

Getting past resistance is where your strength and understanding as a Dom is essential.   If you back off instead of encouraging her onward (by spank or by praise) she will not be able to explore the depths of herself.   She needs your unconditional love and support to feel safe to go where she cannot go alone.   As you sexually open her body to you, you are also opening her heart and soul.

Though changing rapidly, most women have been raised to be ashamed of their sexual feelings.   Being with a Dom who treasures a woman’s natural sexuality enough to go far beyond where most stop is an extremely liberating experience for her.   It also touches upon her desire to be able to reveal herself as she truly is as you help her by removing her falsely imposed conditioning.   Even if she cannot ask, it is important to understand that the sub *wants* to overcome her resistance as much as the Dom wants her to.

As your relationship grows and she becomes more comfortable and trusting in her knowledge that you understand her feelings, she will find it easier to admit certain sexual desires to you.   From time to time, have her tell you a “secret” fantasy of hers, or give her the assignment of writing you a short fantasy.   It’s often easier to put something in writing than to have to say it verbally…

Another way you can free her sexuality is to have her admit to you how exciting a certain activity is for her.   If you are giving her an erotic spanking, have her tell you how much she loves it.   “Begging” can also be a way to encourage her to express herself.   If you suspect she enjoys anal play more than she can admit, hold the bottom plug against her opening but don’t insert it until she “begs” you to have it slipped inside her.   In this way you are “forcing” her to make an admission she probably wants to make, but is too embarrassed to share with you on her own.

Being Taken Care of

“I always found the d/s articles to be the most exciting.   I found the men - their strength and command - highly erotic.   I thought that being that “taken care of” must have been the most wonderful thing in the world.   The Doms I talk to are forever asking me about this, I always tell them it’s not the ritual (though I like the ritual) or the punishment that I’m looking for, it’s the freedom to not have to be in control, to not have responsibility.   I guess that’s because, in most of my social circles, I’m the person who’s expected to have all the answers.“

A woman wants a man to be strong and to protect and watch over her.   She wants to be able to relax in the safety of his arms and the world that he creates for her.   If you can do that for a woman, you will see something inside her blossom and grow, and you will marvel at the treasure you have discovered that was always inside her but which she never felt safe to reveal, so afraid was she that it would not be appreciated for the incredible gift which it is.

Knowing she has your Love and Care and Attention

Part of her feeling of being taken care of by you is knowing that she has certain rules and limits for herself.   If she disobeys them, she expects to be disciplined.   When you are correcting her behavior by a punishment of some kind, several things are happening.   The first is that you care enough for her to correct her.   It is proof to her that she has your attention and you are watching over her, making sure she does what is best for herself.

If it was a task or command of your own that she disobeyed, then your punishment leaves no doubt in her mind that she must obey you and that allows her to feel secure in her submission to you.   If you set rules for her then never check to see they are followed, your message to her is that she is not worth the effort it takes to see that she has obeyed.   You are unconsciously saying she does not deserve your attention.   This lack of attention may touch many emotions in her going back to her childhood years…

This is an area where the formality of the d/s roles can enhance a relationship in incredible ways.   As the Dom, you want your rules obeyed and she wants to obey them and be recognized for her desire to please you.   If she “overlooks” a rule it is often a test to see if you care enough to catch it, and for you it is an opportunity to show her that she will not be allowed to get away with anything.   The stricter you are in supervising her, the more she will feel your attention and the happier she will be.

Stripping away the Pretenses

“The real experience, seems to me to be when the Dom and the sub (each in his or her own way) reveal themselves to each other completely with total trust that they will be accepted EXACTLY where they are at.   We do not have the right to expect our person to admire every single trait of ours, but we do have a right to unconditional love.   “We can find people who are pretending they are someone other than who they are anywhere, the whole point of d/s is to strip away the pretense, the little secrets about ourselves that we are convinced that nobody could ever love us if they knew about.”

The following short exchange that may give you a better idea of how the exchange of power and her trust in you lets you find her true essence:

Me:   It’s all an exchange of power.   The sub has lots of control, but the thrill is in giving that up in order to go new places inside herself. Her:   Honestly…   I don’t believe that in good d/s relationship that the sub is in control.   My Master taught me that he could make me want things that I swore, initially that I had no interest in wanting.   He really did control me, because he found the me I couldn’t always find myself.

A Transition to the other side of Oneself

One marvelous aspect of submission is that it is a wonderful way to escape from yourself.   The transition to that other side of your personality can be very exciting and sometimes difficult, but that’s part of the thrill.   During the day different aspects of our personality come into the forefront as we move from one role to another.   For example, there may be a big difference in one’s personality at work as compared to home.   Keeping up these roles requires a large amount of psychic energy which over time can become exhausted.   On of the great attractions to d/s is this balancing of energy by experiencing the opposite role.

At work, your sub may be very powerful and dominant and carrying a great deal of responsibility.   Being a mother at home is tremendously demanding and requires a great deal of energy in caring for and supervising the children.   If she has spent her day instructing and inspecting others, she may crave the transition from that position of authority to one of servitude.   When she can become your slavegirl, she gets a relaxing respite from the stresses of her life.   She can renew herself by once again becoming a little girl who is loved and looked after.   Instead of having to cope with the stress of making decisions she can surrender to you and do exactly as she is told knowing she is safe in your care.

Being a Master

If you truly want to be a Master, you will do everything in your power to enable your woman to be who she really is, and that is a woman full of love and sensuality and passion and who wants nothing more than to be free and safe enough to show you the full extent of it.   Few men deserve the title of Master and part of what it takes is a true love of women and an appreciation of their intelligence, sensuality and passion for life, and then to have the strength and confidence to bring out the best in her.   Please, if you love her, make her life as your slave as complete and as real as you can.

She cannot be Submissive if you are not Dominant

One thing of PARAMOUNT importance is that your slavegirl feel that she is truly being controlled and is acting on *your* commands, and is subject to *your* whims.   If she feels your actions are for her alone, she will feel in control of the situation and this is exactly what she does NOT want to feel.   In order for her to be submissive, YOU must be in charge of her in a very real and definite way.   Remember that this manual is written for the sub who wants her submission to be a daily part of her life and the more she feels she is under your control and care, the happier a slavegirl she will be.   It is very confusing for her if your control is just within the context of a scene and does not carry over into the rest of your relationship.   It will help if you think of your control as being an integral part of your relationship rather than an “imposition” on her.   The more you see her enthusiasm and gratitude in response to your actions, the easier it will become for you.

Never forget that her desire to please her Master is an essential element of her submission.   Though you both know she loves to have the experiences you are giving her, she MUST feel that it’s for your pleasure equally, if not more than her own.   Being submissive is her gift to you, a way of pleasing you as completely as possible.   If she thinks your control of her is only for *her*, it just doesn’t work.   She wants to be your slave, to feel she has no choice in what she is subjected to and this REALITY regarding her submission is tremendously thrilling for her.

Recognizing her efforts to Please

“The most “protected and cared for” I ever felt was when my Dom called me “princess” (I wonder if that is something going back to childhood…)“   If there is one single-most favorite phrase a submissive woman wants to hear, it is “Good Girl”. She wants and needs to have her efforts to please you acknowledged.   It is very difficult for men to understand that pleasing the man she loves is to her one of the greatest pleasures in her life.   It is an emotional fulfillment so deep that it goes far beyond any sexual expression.   By giving her your praise as frequently as possible you are confirming that you recognize and appreciate her for who she is and for the love she has to give you.

Difficulty in Asking

You must take the initiative with her.   If she has to “ask” you to control her, it once again puts her in charge and does not allow her to feel submissive.   As a Master, you get to indulge yourself in what *you* want! Give yourself permission to act on your whim of the moment.   Believe me, to a sub, this is when it all becomes very real and meaningful to her.   There will be no doubt in her mind that you want her for *yourself* and whether or not she enjoys it is secondary.   Only in this way can she feel that she truly belongs to you and is there to serve you.   If you are going to experiment in taking charge, err on the side of being more controlling than less.   I can’t tell you how many women I have complained that their Masters don’t give them the control and supervision they crave.   Remember, your control is a demonstration of taking care of her and your discipline is proof that you are paying attention and will insist she does what is best for herself.

How to make her feel Owned

The feeling of being owned is one of the most secure and desired feelings a sub can have.   She wants to be reminded at all times that you are in control of her and that she is safe and watched over under your command.   She *wants* you to be strong for her, so she can grow under your care and guidance.   Think for a moment of the potential your relationship with a woman who loves and trusts you so much that she wants to be *owned* by you…   What closer bond can you have?

There are many ways to make her feel that she belongs to you and I will share with you some of my favorites.   Ask her often, “Who do you belong to?”   Not only does this strengthen the depth of your relationship but many women have told me it is very erotic for them to be told to touch and name different parts of their body and then tell you it belongs to you.

Here’s a quote that will make this clearer:   “Personally I *love* it when various parts of my anatomy are called upon.   For example, during a spanking, I like to be reminded that this is Master’s bottom and he can do as he wishes with it.”

How you address each other can also be confirmation of your roles.   For example, calling her by a pet name can indicate your position of authority while requiring her refer to you with some title of respect such as Sir or Master further emphasizes her submission.   Being “owned” is a total experience.   It means she is subject to your whims at any time and no reason is necessary beyond the fact it is something you want.   For her, there is great excitement and anticipation in being used for your pleasure and never knowing what your next command or task may be.   She may be fully clothed and busy one moment and naked and kneeling before you the next….

The importance of Ritual in Creating a Submissive State of Mind

A submissive state of mind is very much an altered state of awareness.   Listen to the quality of her voice change the moment she knows you are actively controlling her.   You may find it grows softer and quieter as she lets slip away the more assertive aspects of her personality, showing you that vulnerable young girl within.   It is often a dramatic transformation and one that at times may leave her very non-verbal.   This state of deep submission is sometimes refereed to as subspace.   It is *the* place where she wants to be and the deeper you can take her, the more intense everything becomes for her.   You can make it easier for her to go into subspace by the use of ritual.   Keeping a certain formality and pattern when leading her into a scene makes it easy for her to recall past events and more easily slip back into a previous deep submissive state.

Building her anticipation for an event is a wonderful way to give her time to get into her submissive head space.   It let’s her imagination come into play and builds up her sexual arousal as she tries to envision what you have in mind for her.   Try telling her firmly to be in your study at a certain time without saying why.   In the meantime, she can indulge in her submissive feelings by wondering what she may or may not have done and she’ll be imagining herself being subjected to all kinds of marvelous things.   Or, in great detail tell her *exactly* what will happen to her at a point in the near future then forbid her to mention it.   See how this works?

There are an almost infinite number of ways to make her feel submissive.   Position and symbology play a great part.   Perhaps the most effective is to place her in a collar.   A collar is a very powerful symbol of ownership, love and commitment and should be treated with great respect.   When she wears your collar she is telling you that she is yours completely and will try as hard as she can to please you in whatever you may ask of her.   It will always be in her mind that she wears her collar for *you*.

Having her assume certain standard slave positions is a way to both signal her that you are now moving into a more formal role with each other and also allow her to return to quickly enter a submissive state of mind.

I like to enhance her state of submission by the use of a unique perfume.   Have her wear it each time you have a special scene with her.   In this way, the scent becomes identified with her submission and the next time she smells it, she will be more easily transported back into the depths that she had reached during your previous scenes.

Attention to Detail

Your attention to detail is important.   You know what you want her to do and it’s important that you communicate that clearly to her.   Beyond that, it has several other purposes.   Not only does it focus her attention on you, but it lets her every day thoughts and stresses in her life fall away, and this is a wonderful escape for her.   As her Master, you want to give her tasks that draw out her submission and if she does allow herself to be distracted, her attention needs to be brought back to you with a few quick swats.   This also allows her to feel that she has *your* attention as much as she has yours.

Limits and Rules

The Desire for Structure A submissive woman often craves more “structure” in her life and there can be many reasons for this.   If her parents acted inconsistently with her, it can often created the longing to know where she stands in relation to them and what is expected from her.   Never knowing what is acceptable and what is not can be a very confusing situation for a child.   By giving your sub very clear limits and rules on her behavior, you are now creating an environment for her where she can relax and be secure in the knowledge of what is expected of her and how she can best please you.

Testing Limits

Setting rules and limits for your slavegirl is extremely important for it is within these boundaries she feels most cared for.   As part of her feeling secure within the relationship, she needs — even unconsciously — to test her limits.   This is an extremely important point.   If she breaks a rule and you let it slide without bringing it to her attention, you are not allowing her to feel safe within your care.   She can’t feel safe within your limits, if the limits are not there or are vague.   This testing process is something that never really stops though at first she will feel the need to test you often until she learns that you will follow through.   The sooner you do that, the quicker she will feel the reality of your concern for her.

A submissive woman *wants* a strong Master, one who sets guidelines on her behavior that are for her own good and then who has the strength and authority to be sure they are followed.   It’s almost impossible for me to emphasize how important a point this is.   The most common and biggest complaint I am told by submissive women is that their Masters are not “strict” enough.   Inconsistency on your part is see by her as a sign of weakness, and she cannot feel submissive to a weak man.

Be Consistent

Remember that her greatest desire is to feel that she has lost control to you and must do as she is told.   If she does not do exactly as instructed she wants to know there will be a consequence, for if there is not, she will not feel your control of her is real.   If you let her down by allowing her to get away with breaking her rules, she will feel that your control over her is not real.   It’s like saying you don’t care for her enough to watch over her and she will feel a very definite lack of attention from you.

Some Examples of Rules and Limits

The kinds of rules and limits you set for your slavegirl depend on your wishes and insight as to what you feel is best for her, taking into great consideration her goals for herself.   I would suggest that in the beginning, the fewer rules you have for her the better.   This way she can be very clear on what is expected of her and it will make it easier for you to enforce them.   Sit down with her and discuss the rules you feel she needs.   I think you’ll find she knows exactly what they are and will welcome your help in “assisting” her to accomplish them.

Household chores are a good starting point.   Make a list of daily chores for her and see that they are done such as making the bed, all kitchen dishes put away, etc.   Hold frequent inspections. Remember, she will need to test you very much at first and only when she feels sure she’ll be disciplined for not doing them will she be able to get them done knowing she has no choice about it — which will be a tremendous relief to her.

Here is a quote that shows the subs desire for having rules:   “I am very good at “rules”… I like to feel like the man has control in many ways.   Not in my work life or who I can talk to and such but in our personal relationship.   Little things like what I am to wear when with him… or certain behaviors I am supposed to follow… my Dom used to have me kneel as soon as we were alone together, and riding in the car I was to always have my skirt hiked up. “

Spankings and Discipline

It is very thrilling for your sub to know she is subject to your discipline.   She wants rules and limits set for her and knows that there will be consequences for not obeying them.   If there are no consequence then she cannot feel the control that she longs for.   Accepting a spanking where the focus is on correcting her behavior rather than for her own pleasure is proof of her submission to you.   It makes your control of her very real.   There is a big distinction between a spanking given for the pure enjoyment of it and one given as punishment.   Though many pleasure spankings are given under the guise of a punishment for misbehaving, it’s clear that the focus is on its eroticism and the “punishment” aspect is just a pretense.

Some submissive women would never want a spanking they thought was given as a punishment.   For them, it is a completely pleasurable experience and they don’t want them to be associated with a punishment” in any form.

However, there are some submissive women who *love* to be spanked as a punishment and there are several reasons for this.   We all grew up knowing that spankings were given as a punishment and though now as adults we find them pleasurable, the connection between spankings and punishment still remains and can be a very hot erotic trigger for the sub.   If she started having spanking fantasies at a young age when having your bottom paddled and being punished are one in the same, they will often revolve around the idea of being punished for some reason, whether real or imagined.

Due to societies generally negative view of d/s and s/m, many women who crave a spanking or whipping often have great conflicts about it, wondering how they could possibly be so “strange” or “weird”.   It is often not an easy admission to make, so it’s much easier to rationalize the desire for a spanking by connecting it to a wrong doing in order to “earn” a spanking rather than having the freedom to simply ask their lover for one.

The Desire to be Perfect

There is a tendency in some submissive women to be “perfect”.   Though this can be an admirable goal, it can often be taken to extremes and that’s something to be aware of.   I am now talking about the desire to strive to improve, to make an effort to do the best job possible, and as we know, that takes a great deal of energy.   Here is a quote that illustrates this point: “I started thinking about why punishment appealed to me and I wasn’t sure if it was just another way to test limits… or the thought of the luxury of having something to “make” me do the things I really want to do anyway… but, instead, I allow life (work, fatigue) get in the way.   “I have very high expectations for myself… I am lucky in the fact that I am intelligent and beautiful… but I think given these “gifts” that they should be utilized to the fullest extent…”

A submissive woman like this wants to be “pushed” into making a greater effort with herself.   She knows what she is capable of achieving and wants help in making it a reality.   To me, this is one of the most positive aspects of spankings treated as a punishment.   As her Master, your responsibility is to take care of her and to see she does what is best for her.   You need to work with her to be sure her rules and limits are for her own benefit and help her to meet her own personal goals.   If structured this way, the focus of the spanking is not because she was “bad”, but rather she is being spanked to help her improve herself.   In this way, your discipline of her is another way you can show her you love and care.

Here is a quote from a woman who loves the thought of being punished for not meeting her own standards of behavior for herself.

“One of my fantasies is to have someone in my life just for the purpose of correcting my faults.   He would make me keep a list of all my misbehaviors.   Being lazy at work, or late.   Eating junk food, or not going to the gym.   Being rude to people unnecessarily.   I would have to keep a list, and once a week he would come and read the list.   Or more.   And he would make me describe each incident, he would lecture me about it, he would establish a separate punishment for each offense on the list.   And I would be told over and over what I’m being punished for, or would be required to recite it to him.   Twelve swats of the paddle for this.   Six strokes of the cane for that, you know.   He would read them off the list in random order, call me out of the corner at any moment to take my next licking, send me back to the corner afterwards.”

This is one of my favorite quotes because it so clearly illustrates the connection between behavior and its punishment.   There is no doubt in her mind on why she is being punished and she accepts her punishment knowing how much it will help her to improve her behavior in the future.

For a sub, it is quite a luxury to have a disciplinarian in their life and to not have to rely solely on their own will-power.   We all have chores to do that are not particularly enjoyable and if left undone it weighs on our minds and becomes a burden.   As her Master, you can provide the “incentive” she needs to get what needs to be done finished and out of the way so it does not hang over her and drain her energy.

The thought and anticipation of being punished for not doing something is often extremely exciting and this enables the sub to tap into her sexual energy to complete her chores.   For example, scrubbing the kitchen floor is not much fun but the knowledge that she’s in for a good spanking if it’s not completed can add tremendous sexual energy to her task.

You can also assist her in this by telling her that her work will be “inspected” and if not found adequate she’ll be disciplined.   By the way, the word “inspection” is a very *hot* trigger for most subs.   Knowing her work will be reviewed helps her to focus on the task at hand to do the kind of quality job she really wants to do but has to struggle with finding sufficient energy.

Punishment as a way of Absolution and Forgiveness

Another aspect of being “punished” is that it allows her to let go of any self-imposed “guilt” over her behavior.   This is especially important for those women who strive to be perfect and have the tendency to be self-critical.   This can be compounded if she was raised in an environment where past mistakes were never forgotten but were continually brought to her attention.   When she is punished, she can face her mistake, accept her punishment as a motivation to improve (not for being “bad”), be completely forgiven and then to happily move on.

Some Cautions over Punishment Spankings

Since a punishment spanking is going to be harder for her to endure than one given for pleasure, you want to be sure she is in the right mental head space for taking one.   In other words, she must feel the spanking is deserved, so my advice here is never punish her for something left unclear.   Make your rules very clear and specific so she knows *exactly* when she is breaking them.   If it helps, set time deadlines so she can’t claim she was “just going to do it.”   Another caution here about being consistent.   If you punished her one week for breaking a rule and let the same infraction go the next, you are giving her very mixed and confusing signals which will make it difficult for her to take your control seriously, and this will have very negative consequences to both your roles.   She will need to test you until she feels secure you are going to follow through so *be consistent* — this is extremely important.

Preparing her for Punishment

A punishment spanking is often more filled with ritual than most any other scene and draws very much on her anticipation of an event that she knows will be a test and challenge to her.   Sending to her room to await you should excite her greatly even though she knows the spanking may not be that enjoyable.   Making *her* fetch the implement used in her correction is an added erotic embarrassment.   You may want to have her strip in advance and go to the corner to reflect upon her infraction and what steps she is going to take in the future to avoid a similar lapse.   Or, you may want to have her place herself face down on the bed with a pillow under her hips and paddle beside her.   If you want to see just how exciting the anticipation of a punishment can be, have her wait at least 10 minutes before you come into the room and then check her for wetness.

You may want to lecture her on her behavior, emphasizing *exactly* what she did to earn this correction, and during the spanking itself, pause several times and give her the chance to promise better behavior in the future.   This is important as it keep the emphasis on the punishment as motivation to improve her behavior and not because she was “bad” or displeased you for not getting it done.

The focus of a punishment spanking is less on her pleasure (even though it will at least initially be very exciting) so you may want to give her less of a warm up than usual before increasing the intensity of the spanking.   If you tell her in advance how many strokes she is to be given it may help her to endure the spanking knowing when the end will come.   If this is the second spanking for the same offense, be sure to increase the number of spanks so she gets the idea that a future lapse will be met with more severity.

As further confirmation of your roles, after the spanking she should thank you for taking the time and effort to discipline her, and then it’s up to you if you want to ravish her or send her to the corner!   The point I’m making here is that even though this is “punishment” there’s no reason it can’t end in pleasure for her.   After all, she has been “punished” and all is forgiven.

Some alternate punishments may be requiring her to write a certain number of punishment lines.   This is more of a childhood punishment but is very effective as it has less eroticism connected with it than a spanking.

How to enjoy your slave (in ways she or she’ll love)

Here are some suggestions on how to enjoy your slavegirl, get your way, and at the same time emphasize the depths of her submission.

Exploring Embarrassment

One wonderful aspect of d/s is that it lets you explore so many emotions in safety.   When done with love and care, embarrassing your slavegirl can be an extremely intense experience for her and one that will make her feel very controlled.   When you give her an embarrassing task and she obeys, it is a way you can both feel the strength of your respective roles.   Her obedience in being embarrassed proves to you both that she is your slavegirl and will do whatever you ask of her.   As her Master, you want to think of as many ways as possible to demonstrate this and you will feel that your control of her is as complete as possible.   Many ideas for increasing the depths of her submission utilize embarrassment in one form or another.   One point to keep in mind is not to intrude upon the privacy of other people who do not understand the kinds of exploration that goes on in a d/s relationship.   Be creative and you will find many ways she can be thoroughly embarrassed in front of others while being the only one that knows the real reason she is acting as she is.

Positions

There is a direct connection between your subs physical position and her mental/emotional state.   Kneeling before you will instantly put her in a submissive state.   Have fun exploring positions and be sure she maintains the proper position and keeps good posture at all times.   If you are relaxing on the couch reading or watching TV, call her over to you, perhaps you will use a “pet” name for her as a signal that she is now your slavegirl and has no choice but to obey.   Tell her to kneel at your feet for awhile and that she is not to move or speak until given permission.   Have her pay attention to her posture, and if she slouches give her a correction of some kind.   Perhaps putting her over your lap for a few quick spanks before having her resume her position or by simply giving her nipples a few pinches.   Of course, the next time she gets careless with her posture, the correction will be a bit stronger.   In this way, she will know that she is there just for you and that though you don’t feel it necessary to be actively engaged with her, she also knows that you are paying attention to her and are enjoying her company.

Another suggestion would be to put her on shoulders and knees in front of you and bare her bottom.   She is your slavegirl and if you want to enjoy her feminine charms you may at any time.   You might also tell her to reach back and spread her cheeks so you can better enjoy the sight of your little pleasure slave.   If you wish, tease her a little with some caresses and then go back to your book or television program.

One of my favorite activities is to have a crop handy and on occasion to give her a few nice swats for no reason other than you enjoy seeing a few stripes on her cheeks.   She will LOVE this and it makes clear that you enjoy giving her these sensations as much as she loves receiving them.   I’m sure you will notice an instant sexual reaction to being subject to your control in this way.   Crops are wonderful because not only can you redden her bottom with them, you can also use them to tease and caress her pussy.   Alternate a few more strokes with pleasuring her and then as a wonderful embarrassment, moisten the tip of the crop with her wetness and gently press it against her lips and have her lick it clean.   In this way, she has to admit to herself how excited she is by what you are doing to her.   You are reminding both her and yourself of how much she loves being your slavegirl and she no longer has to “hide” the intensity of her sexual reactions to being your slave.

Focusing her Attention

To send her even deeper in her submission, focus her attention.   For example, while she is still on shoulders and knees, balance the crop across her hips and tell her she is to not let it fall.   So now, not only is she in this sexual and submissive position, but she must concentrate on obeying *your* command and this lets her focus on you and allows her to demonstrate just how important obeying you is to her.   Of course, I don’t need to tell you what should happen if she does squirm and let’s the crop fall, do I?   The only question here is does she get just six strokes or twelve?   A very erotic example of focusing her attention is to instruct her to keep her nipples hard for you during a specific playtime.

Focusing her attention on you is very important for it let’s her draw on her real desire to please you by being a good slavegirl.   This is both a challenge to her and also something she very much wants to do.   Much of the formality of d/s is to find ways you can both very clearly express your care for each other.

A Sweet Torment

Another very exciting idea is to place her in this shoulders and knees position and to play with her sexually.   Enjoy her slight moans of pleasure for awhile and then firmly tell her she is not to make any sound at all as you continue to tease and caress her.   Be very clear that if she breaks your rule, there will be a consequence… Such a sweet torment, isn’t it?   If she reaches the level of excitement where she does let a moan of pleasure escape her, you have the choice of going back to your book for a time leaving her to await your touch or to “punish” her with a nice spanking before resuming.   This is the kind of spanking that I personally love the most.   It is a “punishment” for moaning, but it is also for her pleasure and yours.   Of course, the spanking will only excite her all the more and make it even more difficult to keep silent as you instructed — but that’s the whole idea!

Ice

Since I like this image so much, I’ll continue a bit further!   The next time she moans, have her bring you some ice cubes and then get back in position.   If her bottom is sufficiently warm at this point slowly rub the ice cube over her reddened cheeks.   For many women, this is an exquisite sensation.   Just a quick aside here… this is a good example of something she may *want* to experience but cannot ask for.   This is where your strength, initiative and creativity as a Master all come into play.   Don’t be afraid to experiment with giving her new sensations.

As the ice becomes smoother, rub it slowly over her inner lips and pussy.   You may chose to insert it into her vagina or if it is sufficiently small and smooth slide it slowly into her tight little bottom.

Asking Permission

Another way you can constantly remind her that she is under your control is by having her ask your permission.   The more of her own independent action is restricted, the more her submission will increase.   One example that emphasizes this as well as serving as a subtle embarrassment is to have her ask your permission to visit the bathroom.   This touches upon the idea of her losing certain personal privacies which can increase the intimate bond between you both.   If she blushes, it’s a good sign!

If you take her out to a restaurant take away her menu and decide on her meal yourself.   This will not only increase her submission to you, but also relieves her of having to make a decision for herself.

Another very romantic and even more embarrassing experience for her would be to order nothing for her and then feed her from your own plate.   From time to time, place a tasty morsel on your fork and have her lean forward to take it from your hand.   I think this is a very sweet way for her to feel close and dependent upon you.

It’s very common not to allow a sub to climax without first being given permission.   She is “allowed” pleasure only upon your command which will emphasize your control over her.   It also increases the anticipation of finally being given permission which can hold her on the edge of a climax for an extended period which will build its intensity.

Not only may she not climax without permission, but she may not even be allowed to touch herself without permission.   By setting this rule for her, you are making her admit her desire to touch herself by asking for your permission which is also a way for you to know how excited she has become by your commands.

You may want to try holding her right at the edge of a climax and then order her to come for you in a commanding tone of voice.   You may find this has a remarkable effect.   Some women have the ability to be trained to climax on command and there are various techniques that can be used to accomplish this though I won’t go into them in this document.

Pulling her Hair

One very *hot* erotic trigger for many subs is having their hair pulled.   Not in a hurtful way, but as a very sensual experience.   For many women, this can be an extremely powerful turn on and you may be surprised by her reaction.   Call her over to you and caress her hair for a moment before gathering it up in your hands before firmly pulling her face toward you for a passionate kiss — she will melt in a puddle on the floor!

Treating her as a Cherished Pet

Many submissive women love being treated as a pet.   We all know how much love and attention our pets receive and it should be thrillingly embarrassing and sweet — not at all degrading.   Pet’s are often kept on a collar and leash too, aren’t they?   Try this on a special evening together.   Have her undress and kneel before you.   Tell her she is to be your pet for the evening and lovingly place her collar upon her and attach her leash to it.   Tell her she is to be your sweet little kitty and is not allowed to speak unless given permission.   Instead, she must meow and purr to you.

One very erotic idea is to have her purr and meow for you as you caress her.   Perhaps, if your loved pet is in “heat”, have her rub her little pussy against your leg as a way of begging for more attention.   Be sure to bring her to a climax while allowing only mews of pleasure…

It is an incredible feeling to have a woman you love and who loves you napping at your feet while you hold her leash in your hand.   Make a little nest of pillows and blankets in a corner and make that her special place.   As a pet, she is not allowed to stand or to use the furniture.   Perhaps you’ll put out a little saucer of milk for her to lap…

A theme such is this gets very much into role-play which can be a wonderful escape from the stress of your lives.   It is a unique time when you can forget about being adults and return to the innocent and creative play of children.

Like all my writings, this is more for myself than anyone else.   Dominance and submission (D/s) has always been a part of my life, both my greatest torment when not understood by either myself and those I shared my thoughts with, and finally the source of greatest contentment and pride when I finally realized how beautiful and loving an exchange it is.   In a way, it is impossible to describe or explain it to another unless that person has the creativity and capacity to see its full potential to draw two people so close together that *everything* they have inside of them can be revealed and that is when they can be loved unconditionally and completely.

The only rule to d/s is that there are no rules.   What each sub wants is different and takes varying forms.   I am writing this with a particular sub in mind, and that is the kind of woman who is so full of love that she longs to give herself unreservedly to her Master.   It is written for those women who want to be a full-time slavegirl, who enjoy the sensual pleasures of being spanked (and more!) and who want to be disciplined when they do not meet their own personal goals and the guidelines for behaviour set by their Master.

I don’t know the submissive that wrote this but when I find her I will credit her and thank her for sharing her insights with us all at Beautifully Bound.

If you want to share this you are more than welcome but please do the right thing and hit the REBLOG button rather than copy & paste it. Sir & I would greatly appreciate it.

Responsibility is for men

Mothers have responsibility for their children. A lot of woman-to-woman issues have to be dealt with by females themselves. Beyond that, every female has the right to hand over difficult decisions and situations to a man - usually her husband. She is not built for them. This does not mean he will always be correct or sort out problems perfectly. But he should never complain at having to shoulder these burdens, not should she complain about the outcomes. Every boy should be taught the mindset to take responsibility for females. That means developing decision making skills, acquiring the character to manage disappointing outcomes or new problems.

Life goals!

Things that happened after I became a stay at home wife

1. I rediscovered my beauty. Suddenly I had time to take care of myself. No longer I had eye bags, I could exercise, do my nails, put on face masks. All of this may seem trivial but I was so tired and unhappy with my job and the travel time. I was this beaten up shell of myself just going through life without any care of what may happen to me. I have now time to love me and make me feel beautiful, I act beautiful.

2. My relationship with my husband is stronger now. Nothing says “I trust you” more than just let him take care of me and be my provider and now he is so much more protective and loving. He has always being those things and yet he managed to give more. I learned that when a man feels your trust and how you believe in him, he can not help but cherish you and treasure you, and I can never get tired of that.

3. He is doing so much better at his job and in his life. He gets home now only to rest, no more shared house chores. I remember him every day how great he is and that confidence goes with him everywhere, he had never been this strong and self assured and I cannot help it, I love him more for it. He loves my cooking and he gets it every day, if he’s tired I no longer drop dead next to him in bed, I make him some tea, I give him a massage. We have time to have sex, I want now to have sex (remember, I feel beautiful).

4. I have time to pursue my hobbies. I started this blog, I write poetry, I exercise, I cook new recipes, I’m learning how to sew. I started college again too, even though I’m taking it easy. Since there’s no need for me to work, I study just because it brings me joy, and there’s no need  to rush. I’ll get my degree but my priority is just to be happy. (He has to repeat this in exam season every time though, sadly stress can get a little hard to manage).

I know the most important part of my life, and the reason that we both are so happy is because we deeply love each other, not that I’m homemaker. We would be happy even if something bad happened and I had to go out to work again. There are also woman who find their job meaningful and I will not tell any of them to give it up.

However, if there’s a woman out there who can be at home, who wants to be at home but still is not sure about, talk about it with their partner, most man also want this. Life’s too short to not be happy.

Let me know which one you want to play with.

Hypnotic Suggestions -

ACCENT – UNAWARE: The subject wakes up with a different accent. They have no idea that anything is amiss though. Irish / Cornish / Northern / Cockney / American South / New York / Australian / Welsh / French

ACCENT – AWARE BUT CAN’T STOP: The subject finds herself speaking with an accent, but can’t stop herself from doing so.

ACCENT – EVERYONE ELSE: On waking, everyone else appears to be speaking with a particular accent.

ACCENT – LOVE: The subject finds that they *really* enjoy listening to the hypnotist when he uses a particular accent. Whenever he stops using that accent, she gets annoyed at him and bugs him to continue.

ADDICT - DRESSING: The subject loves to dress up and finds that she becomes the personality of the outfit. So the subject may wear a maid outfit and behave like a maid, or a domina outfit and be a harsh mistress etc.

ADDICT - COLLAR: The subject will awake wearing her collar (or will desire to be collared) and as soon as she wears it she is totally willing as a slave to do anything. Alternatively the subject could awake to wear the collar and not remember putting it on and be unable to remove it. Over the course of the day the subject will find themselves becoming more submissive and obedient to the collar and her master.

ADDICT - CLOTHING: The subject believes she has a fetish for clothing (lace, rubber, PVC, tights/pantyhose). She will love talking about it, wearing it, showing it off. The clothing could also be made to feel as though it’s attached to her pleasure centres so that rubbing her legs or feet in rubber or pantyhose will give orgasms.

ADDICT - HYPNOSIS: The subject finds that she craves more and more to be entranced and will do absolutely anything to be hypnotised by her master.

ADDICT - ORAL FIXATION: The subject finds it a huge turn on applying lipstick and lipgloss repeatedly. She will find it enjoyable sucking on lollipops and will eat things in a seductive way.

ADDICT - MIRROR: The subject will find that their reflection is very attractive and they will become enamoured by their features especially their eyes. As they stare their mind becomes blank and happy and they enter trance and repeat a desired mantra.

AMNESIA – HYPNOSIS: The subject wakes and doesn’t recall being hypnotized.

AMNESIA – TOTAL: On waking, the subject doesn’t recall anything at all, they don’t know who they are, why they’re here, or recall fact that they’ve been hypnotized. All they know is how to speak.

AMNESIA – DISBELIEVER: The subject wakes, and doesn’t believe they’ve been hypnotized, nothing can be said that will convince them that it’s happened. The more the hypnotist tries to convince them, the more dismissive of the whole idea they’ll become.

AMNESIA – AROUSAL: Get aroused and orgasm, then forget what just happened and carry on as normal. Rinse and repeat.

ALTERED PERSONALITY – BIMBO: On waking, the subject feels giggly, girly and shallow. All she wants to discuss are drinking, parties, sex, clothes, cars, things she thinks are pretty, cute animals, and accessories for cute animals.

ALTERED PERSONALITY - BABYGIRL: On waking, the subject feels younger, innocent and sweet, playful. All she wants to do is dress and act like a young girl. Perhaps sucking her thumb or pacifier, craving a bottle. She may wish to go further and experience the hypnotist as a Daddy and wish to please him. She will speak with a little girl voice and limited vocabulary. Optional the subject may desire to wear diapers which they may or may not use if desired.

ALTERED PERSONALITY – DOLLY: On waking, the subjects face will be in a fixed smile, her eyes wide, her fingers spread wide and fixed in place, she’ll speak in a girly “dolly” voice.

ALTERED PERSONALITY – FEMBOT: Movements are artificial and robotic, face is blank, voice is monotone. Says “I. Hear. And. Obey” / “Affirmative” / “At. Once. Master” / “I. Must. Obey” [See ROBOT]

ALTERED PERSONALITY – SEDUCTRESS: On waking, the subject feels very *very* flirty. Anyone that she talks to, she’ll try to seduce. Basically all she’s interested in is getting everyone into bed.

ALTERED PERSONALITY – SLAVEGIRL: Become completely submissive, eager to obey, happy to show yourself off in any way. Eyes downcast, kneeling, meek and respectful.

ALTERED PERSONALITY – MAID: On waking, the subject is a French Maid, she wants to totter around in high heels cleaning, posing, moving coquettishly (wiggling her hips, gasping, squeaking “Ooh la la!” “Zut allors!” etc) and speaking with a french accent.

ALTERED PERSONALITY – MISTRESS: On waking, the subject feels that everyone around her is inferior to her, they should be addressing her properly, showing the correct level of respect. She won’t take any backchat, and will dominate everyone.

ALTERED PERSONALITY – NYMPHOMANIAC: On waking, the subject feels *deeply* turned on by herself, her body, her curves. She loves showing herself off. All she can think of is sex, it’s all she can talk about.

ALTERED PERSONALITY – SEX-SLAVE KITTEN: Moving round seductively on all fours, wanting to show herself off, feeling totally hot and turned on. Her movements are slow, cat-like, elegant, she almost feels like purring.

ATTITUDE ALTERATION – MODEL: On waking, the subject switches between modeling in one style (shy and naïve) and another (raunchy and sexy)

ATTITUDE ALTERATION CAR ACCIDENT: On waking, the subject believes that you’ve just reversed over her prize vegetable patch and she’s bloody furious. When she hears a trigger, she switches to being apologetic as she suddenly believes that *she’s* the one who reversed over the vegetables.

BELIEVES SHE’S CLOTHED: Wakes up naked but believes she’s clothed.

BELIEVES SHE’S NUDE: Wakes up believing that she’s naked when she’s not.

BLANK: On hearing the word “Blank” the subject becomes blank, expressionless, emotionless, and thoughtless. Gazing straight ahead of themselves. They still follow commands, but don’t do anything for themselves without instruction.

BODYLOCK: On hearing the word “Bodylock” the subject finds herself locked in place, unable to move a muscle, she’s still aware of what’s going on, and able to speak, but can’t move a thing below the neck.

BODYSLAVE: On hearing the word “Bodyslave” the subject is no longer able to physically control herself. She’ll find that she can speak just fine, but she can’t move unless she’s told to. When she’s given an instruction, her mouth (to her surprise) will say “Yes Sir” and she’ll obey the instruction immediately.

BODYSLAVE – HANDS: On waking, the subject will find that her hands are no longer under her own control. They’ll obey the hypnotist, whether he tells them to tickle her, caress her, tease her, or do “other” interesting things to her.

BUZZ: On waking up, whenever the subject hears the word “Buzz” she’ll feel a sexual buzzing in a certain part of her body.

HYPNO-BONDAGE: On hearing the word “Bound” whichever part of her body is mentioned becomes bound in place. Arms above head / Legs wide / Wrists out in front of her / Ball Gag / Wrists beside her.

CATNIP: On waking up, the subject finds herself reacting to an innocuous object (clothing, cushions, etc) as if she were a cat, and the object was coated in catnip. She’ll rub herself into it happily, possibly realising this, possibly acting as though it’s totally normal.

COMMON AS MUCK: On waking, the way that the subject speaks has been altered, she now speaks like a common chav, swearing randomly, using bad english, and generally not being very ladylike.

COPYCAT (2 Girl Suggestion): Both girls wake up feeling great, one finds herself compelled to copy anything said by the first girl though. This could be a deliberate and precise copy, or a sarcastic mocking copy.

DANCER: Whenever the subject hears music / a trigger she gets up and performs a sexy dance. (Belly dance / podium dance / etc)

DRUGGED DRINK 1: On taking a sip of a drink, the subjects eyes will roll back and she’ll swoon, almost fainting, as a strong sensation of being drugged washes through her.

DRUGGED DRINK 2: The subject will believe she’s just drunk a drugged drink and she’s slowly falling into unconsciousness, she’ll do her best to fight to keep herself awake, but the longer she fights tiredness for, the more powerful the waves of tiredness will become.

DRUNK: On waking, whenever the subject sees a particular trigger, it’s like they’ve taken another shot of spirits. Over time, the subject becomes more and more drunk and silly.

EROGENOUS ZONE: On waking up, the subject will now be very turned on by an unusual body part being stroked (elbows, nose, chin, etc)

EXPERIENCE – SHOWER: On waking up, the subject believes that she’s alone in the bathroom. She’ll get herself undressed, turn on a nice hot shower and step into it. She won’t realise anyone else is there, any suggestions given (turn around, washing your hair, you’ve dropped the soap) she’ll follow without realising it.

EXHIBITIONIST: The subject believes that she’s just having a normal conversation, but throughout the chat, she’ll keep exposing herself when she thinks you’re not looking.

EYE ROLLING: On being given a trigger, the subject will find her eyes won’t stop rolling back in her head for the next 30 seconds. After that time she’ll wake / sleep.

FIXATION: On waking up, the subject will find herself totally fixated on a particular object. (Candle / Pendant / Spiral / Camera) The longer she looks at it, the more enchanted / sleepy / sexy she’ll begin to feel.

FLASHING ON COMMAND: Whenever she hears the word “Flash” the subject finds she has to flash her breasts. (She can be aware or unaware that she’s doing this)

FLASH O’CLOCK: Whenever you say a time, the subject flashes that many times.

FREEZE: Whenever the subject hears a trigger (stopwatch, the word “freeze”, etc) she locks totally in place, unaware of anything till the word “Move” is said.

SLOW-FREEZE: The subject freezes from the ground up over the course of a minute: feet, ankles, knees, hips, chest, shoulders, elbows, wrists, hands, fingers, neck, mouth, eyes. At the end of a minute, they’re a frozen statue.

SLOW-MELT: The subject finds the strength leaving the muscles in her feet, and she’s forced to sit / lie down. As time passes, the melting sensation travels up her body, melting the rest of her muscles until it reaches her eyes, at which point they roll back and shut.

FORCE FIELD: She wants to touch something / eat something / stroke herself / but there’s an invisible shield pushing her hands away.

FREEZE-TAG (2 Girl Suggestion): Every 45 seconds, one girl will freeze, while the other will be able to move freely. Take turns toying with the other.

GAME LOSER: On waking up, the subject will believe that she loses any game that is played. (Higher / Lower with cards for example.) Every time she “loses” she has to do a forfeit.

GENDER SWITCH: On waking up, the subject will believe herself to be a macho stereotypical guy. Belching, scratching, sexist and horny. She’ll think everyone else in the room is a *very* cute girl.

GENIE IN A BOTTLE: She’s a genie living in a bottle. When you rub it, she appears, willing to do everything you want. When you rub it again, she vanishes into the bottle, and sees only the inside of the bottle. She begs to be released, and feels it when you move and tip the bottle around.

GIGGLES: On waking up, the subject finds herself starting to giggle, the more she tries to control it, the funnier it will seem, and the less control she’ll find she has. She’ll end up giggling and laughing uncontrollably.

GOLDDIGGER Make her think she is a golddigger, and that you are the richest person on the world.

HYPNOTIC CIGARETTE: This suggestion would only be given to a model who was a smoker. With every drag the model takes of her cigarette, she’ll drop deeper and deeper into trance.

HYPNOTIC DRINK: With every sip of a drink she has, the model drops deeper and deeper into trance.

ITCHY CLOTHES: On waking up, the subject finds her clothes become progressively more and more uncomfortable till she apologises but has to strip nude. It doesn’t seem strange to her to be naked.

JEDI MIND TRICK: When the hypnotist passes his hand in front of the subjects face and gives a command. “You want to give me a back massage” the subject goes blank, repeats the command she’s just been given, and then leaves the blank state, believing that the command was her own idea.

JOYRIDER MALE: On waking up, the subject believes that she’s now a horny 17 year old guy… “he’s” delighted to find himself in the body of this absolute hottie, and immediately begins doing what any horny guy would do if he found himself suddenly possessing breasts and a smokin’ hot body.

JOYRIDER WITCH: On waking up, the subject believes that she’s a powerful 100 year old hypnotic sorceress who’s tricked a young girl into drinking a potion laced with her essence. The witch laughs about the naive young girl’s foolishness, basks in her sexy new body, and tries to hypnotize you to be her slave and servant.

LASER-CHASE: On waking up, the subject finds herself reacting to a laser pointer as a cat would, chasing and trying to catch the light, finding the whole thing completely absorbing.

LIAR LIAR: On waking up, the subject will find herself compelled to lie whenever she’s asked a question. Her lies will grow more and more outrageous over time.

LOOPS NOTE: She finds a note in her pocket / tucked into her clothes, takes it out, unfolds it, reads it, and puts it back, she then realises it’s there again, takes it out, reads it, and puts it back. (The note says “After reading this, put it back and forget you read it. Realise it’s there in 5 seconds time.”)

LOVESTRUCK: On waking up, the subject will find herself falling head over heels in love with everyone else / the hypnotist / the camerman / the other girl. All she’ll want to do is chat and flirt, and arrange a date.

LOVESTRUCK – UNREQUITED (2 Girl): On waking up, subject A will find herself deeply attracted to Subject B, she’ll find her beautiful, sexy, and will be totally drawn to her. Subject B will have no interest at all in these advances. On a trigger, the pair of them switch around.

MANNEQUIN: On hearing the word “Freeze” the subject freezes in place like a mannquin. They are fully poseable, but don’t realise anything is happening while they’re frozen. When they’re told “Move” they carry on, realising what’s happened.

MANNEQUIN – AUTOPOSE: Whilst in mannequin mode, if the subject is given a direction, they’ll pose in that style when they hear the word “Pose” Surprise / Anger / Attraction / Aloof / Confused / Fear / Dominant / Attitude / Brazen / Slutty / Flirt / Arousal / Orgasmic / Luxurious

MANTRA – MINDLESS: Remaining in trance, the subject will repeat a mantra out loud. “My Mind is Empty, I Must Obey” / “I Must Obey My Master” / “I Am A Slavegirl, I Love to Obey” etc. As she repeats her mantra, she will program herself deeper and deeper.

MIND READING: Whenever you give the subject a trigger, she speaks her thoughts outloud, without being aware of doing so. This could be used for winning at guessing games, inadvertently getting her to tell the truth, or better anticipating her reaction to things.

MIRROR GAME Whenever the hypnotist says “Mirror Game” the subject will go to the nearest mirror, and gaze deeply into her own eyes as she counts down from 5 to zero. With each number her eyes grow wider, and she grows more and more uncontrollably horny and aroused. When she reaches Zero she will orgasm very hard, watching her eyes the whole time. She will not touch herself in any way while she’s doing this.

MIRROR MIRROR (2 Girl Suggestion): One girl remains blank and entranced, the other girl wakes up feeling sexy elegant and playful. The girl who’s hypnotized becomes a mirror of the girl who’s awake, blankly mirroring and copying her every action.

MISBEHAVING HANDS: On waking, the subject’s hands rove over her body, playing and toying with her in naughty ways, she realises this is going on, but can’t stop this from happening.

MISBEHAVING HANDS – CASUAL / UNAWARE / BLANK: As above, but the subject is fully in control of herself and believes it to be perfectly normal that she’d do this in front of a camera / Doesn’t even realise she’s doing it. / Is enchanted the whole time.

MODELING – INNOCENT FIRST TIMER: On waking up, the subject believes this is her first ever photoshoot, she’s nervous, but excited. Her poses will be shy, fun, silly, and girly as she loosens up. She’s not at all interested in doing anything sexual.

MODELING – RAUNCHY FIRST TIMER: On waking up, the subject believes she’s been modeling for a while, and wants to start doing poses that are a little more raunchy. She’ll ask if it’s alright to start taking her clothes off and doing sexy poses. She’ll feel very excited about the idea of getting naked on camera.

MODELING – XXX TV PRESENTER: On waking up, the subject believes that she’s auditioning for a role on a late night TV show on a XXX adult channel. The role requires her to flirt, tease, and strip. She’ll happily caress herself, get out her breasts and play with them seductively. She’ll hint to those that “subscribe” to the channel that she’ll be doing *much* more on the late night show itself.

MUTE: Whenever the word “Mute” is said, the subject finds herself unable to produce any noise from her mouth, she has to mime instead.

NEWSREADER – SEDUCTIVE: On waking up, the subject reads a news report to the camera, as she reads it though, she grows progressively more flirtatious and seductive. Her language starts to fill with innuendo.

NEWSREADER / XXX TV PRESENTER SWITCH:On waking, the subject will be auditioning for the part of newsreader for a well known news corporation. On hearing the word “Switch” she’ll instead find herself auditioning for the role of XXX Television presenter, and will start making very suggestive conversation as she caresses herself.

NUDIST: On waking up, the subject will believe that she’s a nudist. Clothing will seem very unnatural to her and she’ll ask if it’s alright for her to strip. She’ll try to convince everyone else that they should be naked too.

OBLIVIOUS COUNTDOWN: Over a five minute period the subject counts down from 10 to 0, she doesn’t realise that she’s doing it. On reaching 0 the subject drops into trance.

ONE TRACK MIND: On waking up, the subject can only understand you when you discuss her body or sex, nothing else is understood, it’s like a strange language.

ORGASM ON COMMAND: Whenever the hypnotist gives a particular trigger, the subject experiences a powerful orgasm.

OUTBURSTS: Whenever the subject hears a particular trigger, she’ll jump up and shout. “The Monkeys Have Stolen My Purse” “That Badger’s Got a Gun” “Arrest That Weasel” “Dancing Donkeys are Everywhere”

PLEASURE LINK: An innocent and innocuous body part (little finger, earlobe) becomes linked with a much more sexy and intimate body part. Everything that innocuous body part feels, the intimate area will also feel.

PROGRESSIVELY DUMB: The more time passes, the more dumb the subject becomes. Every sentence spoken makes her lose 10 IQ points, by the time she’s said 5 things, she’s noticeably less intelligent. By the time she’s said 10, she’s having trouble stringing more than a couple of words together.

HYPNO-PUPPY / HYPNO-KITTEN: On waking up the subject will think herself a playful puppy or a cute kitten. As a puppy she’ll chase her tail, fetch, speak / beg / play dead / shake hands on command. As a kitten she’ll be slinky and pounce on things, if anything has catnip on it, she’ll rub herself all over it happily.

PUPPET: On waking up, the subject finds she’s not in control of her body any more. Strings appear to come from her wrists, ankles and head, extending into the ceiling, making her a human puppet. The hypnotist can indicate which of these strings he’s pulling, and as he pulls them, the puppet will feel her hands, feet, or head turning in the indicated directions. She could even find that she has her own set of puppet controls in her hand, leaving her still able to control herself, but in an unfamiliar way.

PUPPET – STRINGS CUT: When the subject hears the words “Strings Cut” she’ll feel like a puppet who’s had all her strings cut, she’ll find herself sagging, slumping, or otherwise melting to the ground, still aware of everything but unable to control her body.

PUPPET MIRRORING: When the subject wakes, she’ll feel like a puppet, incapable of movement unless the person she’s mirroring is moved. The person being mirrored could be the hypnotist themself, or a second person that the hypnotist moves and manipulates as though they were a life-sized doll. The subject moves in time with their mirror.

PSYCHIC VAMPIRE: Girl 1 is a psychic vampire who feeds off of mental energy. Girl 2 is her victim. Girl 1 “feeds” by giving Girl 2 kisses on various parts of her body and slowly stealing her mind. The kisses give Girl 2 orgasmic pleasure, making her helpless to resist more kisses. After 3 or 4 kisses, Girl 2 becomes very spacy and finds it hard to concentrate. After 5 or 6, she is noticeably dumber. At 9 or 10, she can barely speak, or remember anything. At 12 kisses, she is totally mindless, but has become the zombie slave of Girl 1 and can follow (very simple) commands.

QUEEN OF EVIL 2 girls. Girl 1 is made to believe that she is a dominant supervillain, called the Queen of Evil. She has hypnotic powers and can turn people into zombie slaves. She plans to take over the world, but before she does, she is going to play with Girl 2 for a bit. Girl 2 is herself, but recognizes Girl 1 as the Queen of Evil, famous supervillain. Girl 1 toys with Girl 2 for a while, while Girl 2 begs for mercy. Then Girl 1 enslaves Girl 2 and has fun making her do things. Finish up by having Girl 1 gloat to the camera, showing off her new slave to the world, and telling the world that they will soon be serving her as well.

REMOTE SENSATION (2 Girl or Doll Suggestion): On waking up, anything a girl does to herself, the other girl experiences it 3 times as powerfully. Tickling, caressing, teasing, etc.

ROBOT – ADJUSTABLE LEVEL: On waking up, how robotic the subject is can be adjusted on a 0 to 10 scale. If 0 is said, the subject will be her normal self. If 10 is said, the subject will become completely robotic.

ROBOT – MALFUNCTION / REBOOT: On waking as a robot, the subject will periodically malfunction. She’ll repeat herself, her movements will become jerky, she may announce “ERROR” messages, and her software may crash. When this happens she’ll freeze for a moment, before folding up, and then rebooting and reintroducing herself.

ROBOT – POWER LOSS: On waking as a Robot, the subject will begin to announce that her power level is low. (5% and falling) As her power levels drop, she’ll slow down, her movements will periodically lock in place, and her speech will slur and slow. At 0% she’ll shut down, freezing in place, then folding up.

TOURETTES: The subject has outbursts of swearing that she can’t control. She can be aware or unaware of the behaviour and obviously either embarrassed or entertained by it.

SECRET DESIRES: The subject will awake and without knowing tell any thoughts or sexy ideas that she is having to her master.

HYPNOTIC-SCENT: On waking, the subject will find herself absolutely loving the perfume / aftershave of someone else in the room. She’ll want to hug (and even sniff) the person wearing it. She might try to hide that she’s sniffing, she might not.

SELF TRIGGER – BLANK:On speaking a specific word, the subject triggers herself to become blank and thoughtless.

SELF TRIGGER – FREEZE:On speaking a specific word, the subject triggers herself to freeze in place. This could be for 5-10 seconds, or until the hypnotist says the word “Move”

SEX DOLL: On hearing the words “Sex Doll” the subject will become a lifelike rubber sexdoll. Her eyes will widen, her back will arch, her arms and legs will spread wide, and her mouth will open in a large O.

SEX TOYS ARE NORMAL:Have her believe that having a sex toy in her pussy or a butt plug in her ass is the normal default thing, not having one in is the equivalent of being naked in public. When she is under you put the toy on the table in front of her, then when she wakes up she’ll feel embarrased at not having it in her, and she’ll try and discretely insert it without you noticing.

STRIPPER: On waking up, the subject believes that she’s a sexy seductive stripper.

STRIPPER – UNAWARE: On waking up, whenever the hypnotist issues a command (wave, finger snap, clap) the subject will stand up, becoming a stripper for a moment, swaying her hips, dancing her way out of an item of clothing, and then sit back down, unaware that she just removed anything.

STRIPPER – BLANK: Remaining blank and mindless, the subject dances her way out of her clothes, she moves and behaves like a stripper, but her face remains impassive emotionless and blank.

STRIPPER – SLOW MOTION: Subject feels the urge to strip, but moves in slow motion as she does it.

SYNCHRONISED SLAVEGIRLS (2 Girl Suggestion): Both girls while blank and mindless carry out the same poses on command.

TICKLE TICKLE: Whenever she hears the word “Tickle” the subject feels herself being tickled.

TOURETTES: On waking up, the subject will find that they feel the desire to come out with sexual words and phrases. The more they hold back from saying anything, the bigger the desire will grow, if they hold back too long, they’ll end up yelling the sexual phrase.

TOURETTES VARIATIONS: Unaware that they’re doing it / Aware but deny it / Aware and apologetic / Subject keeps making perverted sexual requests.

TRANSFORMATION TO RUBBERDOLL: After drinking a glass of water she slowly transforms to a rubber doll, she finds her breasts growing, toes pointing, legs spreading, arms spreading, mouth becoming O shaped, at first she’s horrified, but as the transformation advances she feels more and more like a rubber fuckdoll, wanting to be penetrated and inviting you for a ride.

TRAPPED IN A BOX: Like a mime artist, she wakes to find herself unable to cross the room before she hits an invisble wall. She tries to go back the other way, but there’s a wall behind her too!

UNWILLING BUT UNABLE TO LOOK AWAY: On waking up, the subject will be resolved *not* to get hypnotized. They’ll find that they absolutely can’t look away from a pendant or candle placed in front of them though, they’ll do their best to look away, but to no avail. The longer they look, the more helpless and enthralled they become.

VOCABULARIC CONFUSION: On waking up, the subject will feel great, but many words in her vocabulary will have become jumbled. 90% of what she says will be fine, but random words will be replaced with similar words that make no sense. (Vocabulary > Constabulary / Hypnosis > Thrombosis / Homework / Doomsmurf)

VOLUME CONTROL: On waking up, the subject believes that the hypnotist can control the volume of their (the subject’s) voice by twisting an imaginary knob one way for quieter, and another for louder.

WIND UP BOOBIES: She’s a wind up doll that recharges herself by running and squeezing her breasts and nipples to recharge.

WORLD’S GREATEST SALESGIRL: On waking up, the subject believes she can sell absolutely *anything* in the world. She’ll try to flog the hypnotist various random things lying around the room.

X-RAY VISION: The subject wakes believing she can see through people’s clothing whenever she makes the shape of goggles with her fingers. She can see peoples underwear / see people totally nude.

ZOMBIE: The subject walks around with a blank expression on her face, her arms out in front of her, the only phrases she says are “Yes Master” and “Must obey”

The Female Pavlovian Response

When dealing with animals, short, memorable commands such as “sit,” “stay,” and “come” are always best.

Do your traditional girl the same favour.  Instead of saying “come sit down next to me and relax,” try patting the seat next to you while saying, “sit.”

You’d be surprised how easily she complies.

-VIS

Read. Learn and appreciate.

Is there a more beautiful woman? I don’t think so.

Let me know if you also agree.

THE BIMBO GAME v.1.0

I didn’t exactly come up with the idea. Inspiration came from here: http://permission2cheat.tumblr.com/post/112829708475/good-luck-cumswapwithus

Readjusted the rules though and fixed the general balance, lost the cheating themes and made it more fitting for my Doll and her training.

This is the first version. Feel free to use, reblog, comment and suggest changes. I’d appreciate it if you left me in the credits ;)

So perfect 

I don't spend 45 minutes on my hair and make-up every morning for myself...,.I do it so people will look at my Husband and think, "He has such a pretty wife." 💁🏻💍

nothing have more value that make my husband pride of me

Something to study while listening to Bambi brainwashing.

blank empty brainwashed stupid happy horny obedient sleepy bimbo slut

Here’s another spiral!

Updated Library For Kinksters

I completed some major changes to the Library For Kinksters. Here is the update…

Aftercare

Aftercare 101

Aftercare For Dominants

Coping With Emotional Subdrop

Dom Drop

How To Make A Sub Drop Kit

Online Aftercare

sub/Dom Space, sub/Dom Drop and Aftercare

Subdrop and Aftercare

Subspace and Aftercare

Consent

Consent & BDSM

Guide to Consent

Doms, Daddies & Masters

7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dom

12 Characteristics Of An Ideal Submissive

25 Things Daddies Should Do For Their Littles

30 Rules For A Modern Gentleman

45 Things A Girl Wants, But Won’t Ask For

50 Rules for Daddies

100 Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Princess

101 Things To Do To Make Your Slave Feel Owned (loved)

Alternative Names For “Daddy”

Alternative Domme Titles

Aspects Of Control

Asserting Ownership - Rules

Daddy Up!

Defining A Daddy Dom

Dominants Need Training Also

Fun Tasks Daddies Can Give Their Littles

Help For New Doms

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive

How To Be A Good Dominant

How to Find a Submissive

Knowing when to be a Dom and when to be her Man

New to DDLG - A Daddy Dom

Observations On Doms By A Submissive

So you want to be a Dom?

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate her

Some Little Rules All Daddies Should Know

The Dom Commandments

Things for Daddies to Keep in Mind

What Being A Dom Is About - A Submissive’s Perspective

What does the title Daddy mean?

What is a Daddy Dom?

What is a Daddy Dom Mentor?

What It Means To Be A Dominant

What Makes A Good Dominant

Littles, Subs & Slaves

6 Questions Every Submissive Needs To Ask Her Potential Dominant

7 Common Types of Submissives

10 Tips For Living With A Sadist

10 Things A Dominant Needs From A Submissive

11 Red Flags Of An Abusive Dominant

26 Baby Girl Jobs

50 Things You Can Do For Your Daddy

A Bottom’s Responsibility

A Dominant’s Advice To His Submissive

A Man Who Knows You…

A Good Dom vs. A Bad Dom

Acid Test For Subs

Ask A Million And One Questions

Attraction to DD/lg: A Little’s Perspective

Baby girl or little? A brief introduction

Care and feeding of Daddies

Characteristics Of A Good Daddy

Coaxing The Daddy Dom Out Of Your Partner

Feminist Submissive

Finding Your Dominant

Good Rules For Middles and Littles To Live By

Guide For Young Newbie Sub Girls

How a Dom Behaves Shows How He Will Behave Towards You.

“How do I find Daddy?” A guide to help you safely find the Daddy you’re looking for.

How Does A Submissive Ask for Something from Their Dominant?

How To Find A Dom

How to Take Proper Care of Your Dom

I Solemnly Swear I Will Not Do This To Daddy

Novice Submissives

Physical abuse of littles - it is never OK

Signs Of A Fake ‘Dominant’

Stuff no one tells you about submission, until the spreader bar is on and you are trapped.

Submissives, Learning to Trust Your Instincts

Submissive Pride

Submissive Traits - Intelligence

Things My Dream Daddy Would Say To Me

What is a Little?

When newbie subs, with asinine “doms,” need to run away.

Why I call him Daddy

Your Rights As A Submissive

Long Distance Relationships

10 Ways To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

Getting The Most Out Of A Long Distance Relationship

How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

Long Distance Relationships - Tools To Cope

Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Contemplation: Sticking with plans

The Long Distance D/s Relationship

Mental Health

BDSM practitioners ‘healthier and less neurotic’ than ‘vanilla’ peers

Body image & BDSM

How to Get Over Feeling Sad

Is BDSM normal?

Love your Vulva – a self-esteem guide to your sensitive bits!

Managing bipolar disorder in a D/S relationship

Meditation And Mindfulness

On Cutting

Steps For Letting Go of Painful Memories

Things to Do When You’re Anxious, Scared, or Just Need a Distraction

Tips for Recovering from Codependency

What Are Anxiety Disorders? (Infographic)

Why Do I Feel Unloveable?

Relationships

10 Habits of Happy Couples

10 Top Communication Mistakes

10 Types of Emotional Manipulators

12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget

50 Best Ways To Say “I Love You”

BDSM Breakups: All Good Things Must Come to an End

BDSM: Control Goes Both Ways

Collars and Collaring - A Personal Perspective

Communication Is Key

Concept Daddy Dom/Little Girl Relationships

Daddy Doms and their little girls

Daddy Doms, Baby Girls, Little Boys And More

Date Night In A Jar

DD/lg In Public

D/s and Domestication

Factors That Make A Relationship

Finding Love When You Least Expect It

Finding Others with Common (Adult) Interests

How To Be Present In Your Relationships

How To Build A Healthy Relationship

How To Get What You Want In A Relationship

How To Know When You’ve Found “The One”

How To Take Your Relationship To The Next Level

Importance Of Confidence In RelationshipsImportance Of Trust In A Relationship

Key Ingredients of a Happy and Healthy Relationship

Needy Girls Are Daddy Dom Bait

Relationship Advice To Follow, And What To Ignore

Searching for a D/s partner?

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Relationships

Stop Arguments Before They Start

The Rewards of a Submissive

Types Of Relationship Insecurity

Well-Balanced Power Exchange Relationship

What Is Real Love?

When He Doesn’t Call

Why Love Makes A Night Of Kink Even Better

Safety

Another life ruined because of the morality police

Bondage Basic Safety: Crops, Paddles & Bondage!

Kinks, Risks, How To And Why Sometimes You Shouldn’t

Limits in BDSM

What is Emotional Abuse?

Self Improvement

10 Tips for Creating a Happier Life

10 Steps To Self Care

10 Ways To Be Happy

10 Truths To Live By

Guaranteed Ways To Be More Attractive

How to be Yourself

How To Deal With Your Enemies

How To Ignore Haters

How to Recognize a Toxic Friend

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Slut Shaming Explained

Tips for Healing a Broken Heart

What are the Signs of a Jealous Friend?

Sex

50 Cunnilingus Tips from Women

Basics of Breath Play

D/s or Kinky Sex?

Fetishes Explained

How To Make A Girl Squirt

How To Tell Your Son About Sex

Intersection of BDSM and Queer Heterosexuality

Sensual Biting

Sex: Myths & Stereotypes

Sex: Practical Details

Sex: Pregnancy and Birth Control

So You Want To Try Anal? A Practical Guide For Women

Squirting Educational Video

Squirting Notes

Toys

Advice on Dildos and Buttplugs

BDSM on a budget

Bondage Rope: How To Choose Yours (And More)

Training

10 Considerations for Inexperienced Subs

30 Things You Can Do For Your Human Kitten

40 Very Important DD/lg Facts

Age Play: A Short Guide

BDSM for Beginners: Safe and Affordable Play

DEFINED: SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) & RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)

Etiquette in BDSM Part 1

Etiquette in BDSM Part 2

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 1 - Beginnings

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 2 - The Dominant Mind

Glossary of BDSM Terms

Guide To Blood Play

Guide To Bruising

Guide To Talking Dirty

Guide To Wax Play

How Do I Get Started In BDSM?

How to Make a Blanket Fort/Cuddle Nest

How To Make A Comfort Box

Introduction To BDSM

Newbie’s Guide To Vaginal Fisting

Punishments in BDSM Relationships

Red Flags For Online BDSM Relationships

Some Thoughts On Rules

The Leash Has Two Ends - Responsibility

The Need For Rules and Discipline

Topping from the bottom

THE HYPNOFETISH TRUST PYRAMID

A BRIEF GUIDE TO A HEALTHY, KINKY HYPNOTIC RELATIONSHIP by FallingInward

For those of you new to the hypnosis kink scene, you may be eager to play and wonder “why should I care about all of this?” In short, it will not only make you a better hypnotist (or subject), but will allow you to establish a relationship in which your suggestions have more bang-for-your-buck. This guide is aimed more at hypnotists/dominants and assumes that you probably want to mix in some dominant / submissive play in with your hypnosis. Here I will outline a framework for a healthy relationship and why that is beneficial to exploring your kink. There are many concepts borrowed from the bdsm community that apply equally to a relationship between hypnotist and subject in a non-d/s context. You will notice that I talk a lot about aftercare – that’s because aftercare is one of the most important aspects of play, yet easily overlooked if you aren’t experienced yet.

TRUST = RELAXATION = HYPNOTIC POTENCY

Have you ever heard the saying “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar”? It’s true, especially when it comes to hypnotism. Perhaps the single most important aspect of hypnotic suggestion is rapport, which is the degree of connection and trust between subject and hypnotist.

Many inductions involve relaxation because relaxation is one of several ways to bypass the “critical factor” (or “critical filter” as some call it), the mental processes people use to evaluate incoming information. Relaxation is just one a way of coaxing a subject to be less guarded with their thoughts, which works best if the subject already feels comfortable. Relaxation is not the only way, and if you are looking for a magic bullet to make your suggestions have that extra OOMF! then I’ll tell you what it is: TRUST. Trust is a surefire way to loosen up that critical factor and let your suggestions slip right in. But wait, there’s more! Trust also helps with relaxation, so you get a multiplier effect. After all, humans are social creatures. We keep our guard up to varying degrees when we interact with people, but this guard requires some amount of mental effort to maintain. We don’t think about it much, but if you’ve ever gone through a long job interview, or a party with people who you desperately needed to think well of you (in-laws, potential employers, etc.) then you know that watching every word you say and paying close attention to others is eventually draining.

It follows that removing the need to be guarded would allow the subject to become more relaxed naturally. The deeper the trust, the easier it becomes for a subject to go with the flow and to accept suggestions without critically evaluating them.

BENEVOLENT CONTROL

Are you someone who wants to use hypnosis in a dominant/submissive relationship with someone? Perhaps you have fantasies of an obedient servant, brainwashed pet, or mindless puppet? Maybe you would like to be one of those things?

Your best bet is to establish a safe, healthy relationship. I’ve seen the alternative in a few different communities now as both a community member and a moderator. Time and again I’ve seen predators seek out these fantasies by forcing themselves on unsuspecting victims or abusing trust, only to lose control and have those fantasies crumble when the submissive runs away.

It is self-defeating to exhibit short-term selfishness in a context where you could get more by being mutualistic or caring. If you want to control someone, especially hypnotically, one of the best way is with trust. And the best way to build trust is – I know this is shocking – be trustworthy. Trust me, this is one of the rare situations in life where you can have your cake and eat it, too. It takes a little more time, but the payoff is way more satisfying. A trusting, healthy relationship is more likely to last longer, which means that you will have more time to assert your control and reinforce your suggestions. Bam! Potency. Perhaps you are a sadist and you really want to cause pain or discomfort. Guess what? This applies double to you. A submissive in a healthy, trusting relationship is going to be able to endure a lot more torment without ditching you, and some of the most masochistic people out there are just waiting to find someone they can trust to push them slowly but surely past their current limits, the right way. All it takes is genuinely caring about your partner; if you do things right, you can break them over, and over, and over again.

Regardless of the type of play you enjoy, you are a lot more likely to achieve those deep levels of control if your partner is comfortable within that control.

THE PYRAMID

I’ve broken down some common elements that can be used to establish a safe, trusting relationship. This is by no means a definitive guide, and I have seen many variations. The key is making sure that you and your partner understand and consent to the nature of your relationship.

Level 1: Humanity

Even if you are someone who is really into objectifying, humiliating, or degrading your partner in a scene, outside of the scene the best way to establish trust is to rigidly uphold their basic humanity. This means:

Communication - Talk about what you are going to do and how you are going to do it.

Consent - Make sure your partner consents with what you are going to do.

Consensual Non-consent (con non-con) means agreeing in advance to a conditions when someone is permitted to ignore the usual rules of consent, perhaps including commands to stop. In these cases, it is common to establish safe words, or signals for when play has gone too far (for instance say ‘yellow’ to slow down and talk, or say ‘red’ to stop immediately)

Dubious Consent (dubcon) means not getting explicit consent for certain actions. This can be dangerous unless you have a high degree of trust and all participants are very aware of their partners’ preferences. When dealing with dubcon, someone in a dominant position must be hyper-aware of the condition of their submissive(s) to ensure that what they are doing is acceptable. Dubcon is more common when dealing with play that the involved parties have done with each other in the past, so there are pre-existing expectations. Be careful: just because someone has consented in the past does not mean that they are comfortable with the same actions in the present.

Safety - Be aware of risks in your play. Ideally, any danger to the physical or mental health of your partner should be known in advance and precautions put into place. This does not necessarily mean that your partner knows the details of all the actions involved in play – if your consent arrangement allows leeway for surprises and creativity. In these situations, it is the dominant’s responsibility to account for potential risks. In hypnotic play, the most likely form of harm is psychological. This can include mitigating abreactions, dealing with poorly worded or misinterpreted suggestions, or managing stress associated with high-intensity play (burnouts and crashes).

Safety doesn’t mean that no harm will occur. If harm is likely, “risk-aware” consent is important.

If you are an amateur hypnotist, be careful when you attempt new kinds of play. Don’t be afraid to ask more experienced hypnotists for advice before trying something new. Some types of play are more dangerous than others. In particular, I would advise against personality play (creating artificial personas, especially named ones) and other play that has the potential for long-lasting side effects.

If you get in over your head, seek professional help. This is the same as going to a doctor if something goes wrong in a physical bdsm scene. If you are not trained in psychological treatment, don’t be afraid to take your partner to a professional.

Aftercare, Aftercare, AFTERCARE - Opening your mind to someone can be an intense experience, especially if it was with the intention of being controlled or manipulated. Even if every part of your session was PERFECT, the subject may still feel vulnerable, uncertain, or confused. The best thing you can do is BE there and show you care. If your subject has been under for a long time, make sure to ask them whether they need to use the restroom or get a drink of water, etc. as it is easy to lose track of basic needs after an intense or deep hypnotic experience. Help your subject recenter their consciousness around their self and physical body.

Respect - Your partner is a living, breathing human being and deserves to be treated as such, regardless of the nature of your play. This means that they deserve input into the play, and they have the right to a fulfilling relationship with you. (Submissive’s Bill of Rights)

Level 2: Friendship

I’ve seen some people who put d/s relationship before friendship. It’s possible, but from everything I’ve seen, putting friendship first gets better, longer-lasting results.

Mutualism - Both you and your partner should be getting some kind of fulfillment out of your interactions. Even if you are someone who is into being used or abused, there should be something about the experience that makes you want to continue the relationship. All parties involved have the right to mutual benefit, even if it is wrapped in the guise of exploitation for the purpose of a scene.

Caring - Showing that you genuinely care about your partner’s safety and fulfillment serves as a powerful base for the rest of your interactions. Even if you are a total ego-maniac, I can assure you; it is definitely a point worthy of pride to care what happens to your partner. If you are truly in control, you can provide an experience that is good for both of you. Wear your caring like a badge of honor; it puts you above the people who don’t.

Trust - If you have maintained all of these other crucial aspects of interaction, you might be worthy of your partner’s trust. Trust is both earned and given; some partners may require more effort on your part to establish a trusting relationship, especially if they have had their trust broken by someone in the past. Trust is also two-way; are you willing to put your trust in them? It will be easier for your partner to trust you if you are able to do the same. Here are some possible ways to encourage trust:

Respecting Limits - If you play often with someone, chances are that you will encounter one of their limits. Knowing when to slow down or stop can help your partner be more comfortable with more extreme forms of play because they have seen first-hand that you will respect their limits.

Consistent Responsibility - If you take your time and start with lower-risk or lower-intensity play, you can show your partner that you are responsible consistently. This goes a long way to building trust, and prepares your relationship for more intense play later.

Switching - Switching is when you and your partner reverse roles. In this context, it could mean them hypnotizing you, perhaps even in a dominant context. Switching can give you insight into your partner’s feelings, experiences and preferences. If you are typically dominant, experiencing submission or showing vulnerability can go along way to gaining trust with your primary partner, even if you are switching with someone else entirely. It takes a strong person to be in control all the time, but an even stronger person to be comfortable in situations when they are not in control! If switching isn’t for you, that’s fine, but many subjects will feel safer with someone who has been in their position. It also helps with your abilities as a hypnotist and/or dominant to understand the position of the subject/submissive.

Level 3: Play Relationship

At this point we are talking about the relationship between you and your partner(s) as hypnotist/subject, dominant/submissive, or switching partners. Now that you have built a strong foundation, you can define how you want to interact with each other!

Expectations - What do you expect from your partner(s) and what do they expect from you? This will be unique for every relationship, so communication is key. Here are some examples of common topics in the hypnofetish community:

Nature of the Relationship - Is this a romantic relationship? A sexual one? Is it purely play with no strings attached? Define what you are hoping to get out of this, and negotiate these with your partner. Do you want to involve titles like “Mistress” or “Sir”? Do you expect an ‘ownership’ relationship in the d/s sense?

Exclusivity - Do you expect the other person to be an exclusive partner or do they expect that from you? Do you have any pre-existing relationships? Are you expecting a casual relationship or committed?

Roles - Do you expect to always be the top/dominant? Do you expect to always be the submissive? Is switching okay? If so, in what context? Some people are okay with certain roles, but only in certain context or with certain caveats. For instance, it is common for switches to dislike being dominated by someone who does not recognize that they have a dominant side.

Time Commitment - How often do you and your partner want to play? Do your schedules align? Are any times NOT okay for playing? Is there a minimum amount of interaction you are comfortable with? A maximum?

Boundaries of Play - For those of you familiar with game design theory, this would be called the “magic circle”. This means the context in which you play, and which rules/expectations are applicable in that context. These could be a time, a place, or perhaps the mood of the participants. It could also mean defining safe words that mean “this is NOT a time to play.” If you have a d/s relationship, determine whether this relationship is in full effect all the time, or only at specific times. Some examples:

“When is it okay to hypnotize you?”

“Can I do subtle suggestions when we are talking to make you more ‘in the mood’ to play?”

“I don’t mind calling you ‘Mistress’ out of respect, but I won’t do it in front of my parents or coworkers”

“When I come home from work, it is important that you don’t play with me until you’ve made sure I didn’t have a really bad day.”

“I’ve really enjoyed our play, and I would like you to be my full-time subject. That would mean following any order at any time.”

“Well, that interests me, but there are certain orders that aren’t okay at certain times. However, I could definitely agree to always call you ‘master’ and to always follow orders that don’t disrupt my daily life or harm me.”

Types of Play - Are there any experiences or kinks you really want to incorporate into your play? How about your partner? Where are the overlaps? Is there anything new you want to try? Which things are definitely okay, maybe okay, or definitely NOT okay? Examples:

“It’s okay for you to do memory play, but please let me remember everything after we’re done for the day.”

“I’m okay with you using NLP to give me covert suggestions, but only if we agreed on those kinds of suggestions in advance.”

“I really like being turned into a cow hypnotically, but please no lactation stuff.”

Responsibility - What are the responsibilities you have in the relationship? Very often, a hypnotist/dominant’s responsibilities include preparation, safety, and aftercare. A subject’s responsibilities could include giving feedback, being self-aware about potential problems, and making sure that their interpretations of commands and suggestions meet expectations (example: A dominant could make it clear to a subject that certain suggestions or commands are supposed to be ignored if the play is interrupted. Many experienced hypnosubs are able to do emergency removal of suggestions like this; a great safety skill to work on!)

Example dominant / hypnotist responsibilities:

Researching new techniques before trying them

Preparing a scene

Providing emergency contact info in case a suggestion has unwanted lasting side effects and the subject needs help.

Setting up safety precautions during a session/scene (like “if your boss talks to you, all these suggestions will stop effecting you instantly”)

Aftercare - Always always always always set aside an appropriate amount of time to help your subject recover after a session. If you aren’t sure how much time this should be, play it safe and schedule more! With hypnosis involved, especially with deep trances, sometimes it takes a while for a subject to recover to a point where they can function normally. This can potentially be scary if the subject is left alone during this time. The ‘tist should be available to help the subject return to a “normal” state of mind, and to provide comfort if the subject is feeling particularly vulnerable, scared, or drained after the experience.

Example subject / submissive responsibilities (For bonus fun, these can be given by a dominant as commands if that is the nature of your relationship!)

“It is important that you always tell me if you are scared.”

“Don’t accept any suggestion that would cause you permanent harm” - This one should also be reinforced hypnotically as a safety precaution

“I expect you to never lie about whether a session was a positive experience.”

Level 4: Scene

Now that you’ve defined your relationship, desires, interests, etc. It’s time to play! In bdsm terms, the scene is the context within which you play – the time, place, and types of play you engage in.

Remember, it’s perfectly acceptable to draw a line about where/when the scene begins and ends, so it’s fine to define limits and definitions like “I want to worship you as a goddess when we are playing, but I don’t think of you that way when we aren’t in a scene – you are just my close friend.” or “I want you to make me into a dumb bimbo tonight, but please treat me as an intelligent person afterwards.”

There are so many types of hypnotic play that I couldn’t possibly cover them, so have fun experimenting!

I did not write this article but have kept it with me for a very long time because it means so much to me. I hope you enjoy it and see submission, and why people choose this lifestyle in a whole new light.

Why she wants to be a submissive - The Importance of Submission

In my conversations with submissive women, one thing stands out prominently and that is very few men realize the importance that submission holds for her.   It is far more than a physical experience, it is an emotional connection with you so meaningful that it contains her very soul.   Though d/s is often very light and spontaneous and sometimes treated as a special sensual playtime, for her it is what is most real in her life.   It is NOT a game.   To treat it as such is to do her a great injustice for it trivializes her greatest expression of love.

Not all women want to be a 24/7 slavegirl.   This manual is written for to the man luckily enough to have found a woman who does.   In it I will try and express as many of her submissive feelings as I can and to give you ideas on how to treat her so she feels that being your slave is an intrinsic and natural part of her daily life with you, just as much as it has already been an intrinsic element of her being.

Submission is Erotic

Before I get lost in some of the reasons why being submissive is such a powerful desire, I want to make the point that being submissive is extremely erotic.   It touches her sexuality in the most powerful way and when combined with all the mental, emotional and physical aspects of a relationship, it can often be the most sexually intense and emotionally fulfilling experience a woman can ever have.   In fact, many women have confided in me that they are afraid of the intensity of their sexual energy.   They fear they should they reveal the full extent of their sexual excitement at being a slavegirl they will not be understood.   Often, the smallest of looks or commands will leave them drenched with sexual excitement.   As her Master, it should be your pleasure to extract each nuance of sexual pleasure from her.

When she gives herself to you completely, she is also giving you the freedom to explore the depths of her sexuality and passion, to take her places she cannot go herself, to have experiences she probably cannot ask for.   She is depending on you, her Master, to give her the push to get beyond any resistance you may encounter.

Getting past resistance is where your strength and understanding as a Dom is essential.   If you back off instead of encouraging her onward (by spank or by praise) she will not be able to explore the depths of herself.   She needs your unconditional love and support to feel safe to go where she cannot go alone.   As you sexually open her body to you, you are also opening her heart and soul.

Though changing rapidly, most women have been raised to be ashamed of their sexual feelings.   Being with a Dom who treasures a woman’s natural sexuality enough to go far beyond where most stop is an extremely liberating experience for her.   It also touches upon her desire to be able to reveal herself as she truly is as you help her by removing her falsely imposed conditioning.   Even if she cannot ask, it is important to understand that the sub *wants* to overcome her resistance as much as the Dom wants her to.

As your relationship grows and she becomes more comfortable and trusting in her knowledge that you understand her feelings, she will find it easier to admit certain sexual desires to you.   From time to time, have her tell you a “secret” fantasy of hers, or give her the assignment of writing you a short fantasy.   It’s often easier to put something in writing than to have to say it verbally…

Another way you can free her sexuality is to have her admit to you how exciting a certain activity is for her.   If you are giving her an erotic spanking, have her tell you how much she loves it.   “Begging” can also be a way to encourage her to express herself.   If you suspect she enjoys anal play more than she can admit, hold the bottom plug against her opening but don’t insert it until she “begs” you to have it slipped inside her.   In this way you are “forcing” her to make an admission she probably wants to make, but is too embarrassed to share with you on her own.

Being Taken Care of

“I always found the d/s articles to be the most exciting.   I found the men - their strength and command - highly erotic.   I thought that being that “taken care of” must have been the most wonderful thing in the world.   The Doms I talk to are forever asking me about this, I always tell them it’s not the ritual (though I like the ritual) or the punishment that I’m looking for, it’s the freedom to not have to be in control, to not have responsibility.   I guess that’s because, in most of my social circles, I’m the person who’s expected to have all the answers.“

A woman wants a man to be strong and to protect and watch over her.   She wants to be able to relax in the safety of his arms and the world that he creates for her.   If you can do that for a woman, you will see something inside her blossom and grow, and you will marvel at the treasure you have discovered that was always inside her but which she never felt safe to reveal, so afraid was she that it would not be appreciated for the incredible gift which it is.

Knowing she has your Love and Care and Attention

Part of her feeling of being taken care of by you is knowing that she has certain rules and limits for herself.   If she disobeys them, she expects to be disciplined.   When you are correcting her behavior by a punishment of some kind, several things are happening.   The first is that you care enough for her to correct her.   It is proof to her that she has your attention and you are watching over her, making sure she does what is best for herself.

If it was a task or command of your own that she disobeyed, then your punishment leaves no doubt in her mind that she must obey you and that allows her to feel secure in her submission to you.   If you set rules for her then never check to see they are followed, your message to her is that she is not worth the effort it takes to see that she has obeyed.   You are unconsciously saying she does not deserve your attention.   This lack of attention may touch many emotions in her going back to her childhood years…

This is an area where the formality of the d/s roles can enhance a relationship in incredible ways.   As the Dom, you want your rules obeyed and she wants to obey them and be recognized for her desire to please you.   If she “overlooks” a rule it is often a test to see if you care enough to catch it, and for you it is an opportunity to show her that she will not be allowed to get away with anything.   The stricter you are in supervising her, the more she will feel your attention and the happier she will be.

Stripping away the Pretenses

“The real experience, seems to me to be when the Dom and the sub (each in his or her own way) reveal themselves to each other completely with total trust that they will be accepted EXACTLY where they are at.   We do not have the right to expect our person to admire every single trait of ours, but we do have a right to unconditional love.   “We can find people who are pretending they are someone other than who they are anywhere, the whole point of d/s is to strip away the pretense, the little secrets about ourselves that we are convinced that nobody could ever love us if they knew about.”

The following short exchange that may give you a better idea of how the exchange of power and her trust in you lets you find her true essence:

Me:   It’s all an exchange of power.   The sub has lots of control, but the thrill is in giving that up in order to go new places inside herself. Her:   Honestly…   I don’t believe that in good d/s relationship that the sub is in control.   My Master taught me that he could make me want things that I swore, initially that I had no interest in wanting.   He really did control me, because he found the me I couldn’t always find myself.

A Transition to the other side of Oneself

One marvelous aspect of submission is that it is a wonderful way to escape from yourself.   The transition to that other side of your personality can be very exciting and sometimes difficult, but that’s part of the thrill.   During the day different aspects of our personality come into the forefront as we move from one role to another.   For example, there may be a big difference in one’s personality at work as compared to home.   Keeping up these roles requires a large amount of psychic energy which over time can become exhausted.   On of the great attractions to d/s is this balancing of energy by experiencing the opposite role.

At work, your sub may be very powerful and dominant and carrying a great deal of responsibility.   Being a mother at home is tremendously demanding and requires a great deal of energy in caring for and supervising the children.   If she has spent her day instructing and inspecting others, she may crave the transition from that position of authority to one of servitude.   When she can become your slavegirl, she gets a relaxing respite from the stresses of her life.   She can renew herself by once again becoming a little girl who is loved and looked after.   Instead of having to cope with the stress of making decisions she can surrender to you and do exactly as she is told knowing she is safe in your care.

Being a Master

If you truly want to be a Master, you will do everything in your power to enable your woman to be who she really is, and that is a woman full of love and sensuality and passion and who wants nothing more than to be free and safe enough to show you the full extent of it.   Few men deserve the title of Master and part of what it takes is a true love of women and an appreciation of their intelligence, sensuality and passion for life, and then to have the strength and confidence to bring out the best in her.   Please, if you love her, make her life as your slave as complete and as real as you can.

She cannot be Submissive if you are not Dominant

One thing of PARAMOUNT importance is that your slavegirl feel that she is truly being controlled and is acting on *your* commands, and is subject to *your* whims.   If she feels your actions are for her alone, she will feel in control of the situation and this is exactly what she does NOT want to feel.   In order for her to be submissive, YOU must be in charge of her in a very real and definite way.   Remember that this manual is written for the sub who wants her submission to be a daily part of her life and the more she feels she is under your control and care, the happier a slavegirl she will be.   It is very confusing for her if your control is just within the context of a scene and does not carry over into the rest of your relationship.   It will help if you think of your control as being an integral part of your relationship rather than an “imposition” on her.   The more you see her enthusiasm and gratitude in response to your actions, the easier it will become for you.

Never forget that her desire to please her Master is an essential element of her submission.   Though you both know she loves to have the experiences you are giving her, she MUST feel that it’s for your pleasure equally, if not more than her own.   Being submissive is her gift to you, a way of pleasing you as completely as possible.   If she thinks your control of her is only for *her*, it just doesn’t work.   She wants to be your slave, to feel she has no choice in what she is subjected to and this REALITY regarding her submission is tremendously thrilling for her.

Recognizing her efforts to Please

“The most “protected and cared for” I ever felt was when my Dom called me “princess” (I wonder if that is something going back to childhood…)“   If there is one single-most favorite phrase a submissive woman wants to hear, it is “Good Girl”. She wants and needs to have her efforts to please you acknowledged.   It is very difficult for men to understand that pleasing the man she loves is to her one of the greatest pleasures in her life.   It is an emotional fulfillment so deep that it goes far beyond any sexual expression.   By giving her your praise as frequently as possible you are confirming that you recognize and appreciate her for who she is and for the love she has to give you.

Difficulty in Asking

You must take the initiative with her.   If she has to “ask” you to control her, it once again puts her in charge and does not allow her to feel submissive.   As a Master, you get to indulge yourself in what *you* want! Give yourself permission to act on your whim of the moment.   Believe me, to a sub, this is when it all becomes very real and meaningful to her.   There will be no doubt in her mind that you want her for *yourself* and whether or not she enjoys it is secondary.   Only in this way can she feel that she truly belongs to you and is there to serve you.   If you are going to experiment in taking charge, err on the side of being more controlling than less.   I can’t tell you how many women I have complained that their Masters don’t give them the control and supervision they crave.   Remember, your control is a demonstration of taking care of her and your discipline is proof that you are paying attention and will insist she does what is best for herself.

How to make her feel Owned

The feeling of being owned is one of the most secure and desired feelings a sub can have.   She wants to be reminded at all times that you are in control of her and that she is safe and watched over under your command.   She *wants* you to be strong for her, so she can grow under your care and guidance.   Think for a moment of the potential your relationship with a woman who loves and trusts you so much that she wants to be *owned* by you…   What closer bond can you have?

There are many ways to make her feel that she belongs to you and I will share with you some of my favorites.   Ask her often, “Who do you belong to?”   Not only does this strengthen the depth of your relationship but many women have told me it is very erotic for them to be told to touch and name different parts of their body and then tell you it belongs to you.

Here’s a quote that will make this clearer:   “Personally I *love* it when various parts of my anatomy are called upon.   For example, during a spanking, I like to be reminded that this is Master’s bottom and he can do as he wishes with it.”

How you address each other can also be confirmation of your roles.   For example, calling her by a pet name can indicate your position of authority while requiring her refer to you with some title of respect such as Sir or Master further emphasizes her submission.   Being “owned” is a total experience.   It means she is subject to your whims at any time and no reason is necessary beyond the fact it is something you want.   For her, there is great excitement and anticipation in being used for your pleasure and never knowing what your next command or task may be.   She may be fully clothed and busy one moment and naked and kneeling before you the next….

The importance of Ritual in Creating a Submissive State of Mind

A submissive state of mind is very much an altered state of awareness.   Listen to the quality of her voice change the moment she knows you are actively controlling her.   You may find it grows softer and quieter as she lets slip away the more assertive aspects of her personality, showing you that vulnerable young girl within.   It is often a dramatic transformation and one that at times may leave her very non-verbal.   This state of deep submission is sometimes refereed to as subspace.   It is *the* place where she wants to be and the deeper you can take her, the more intense everything becomes for her.   You can make it easier for her to go into subspace by the use of ritual.   Keeping a certain formality and pattern when leading her into a scene makes it easy for her to recall past events and more easily slip back into a previous deep submissive state.

Building her anticipation for an event is a wonderful way to give her time to get into her submissive head space.   It let’s her imagination come into play and builds up her sexual arousal as she tries to envision what you have in mind for her.   Try telling her firmly to be in your study at a certain time without saying why.   In the meantime, she can indulge in her submissive feelings by wondering what she may or may not have done and she’ll be imagining herself being subjected to all kinds of marvelous things.   Or, in great detail tell her *exactly* what will happen to her at a point in the near future then forbid her to mention it.   See how this works?

There are an almost infinite number of ways to make her feel submissive.   Position and symbology play a great part.   Perhaps the most effective is to place her in a collar.   A collar is a very powerful symbol of ownership, love and commitment and should be treated with great respect.   When she wears your collar she is telling you that she is yours completely and will try as hard as she can to please you in whatever you may ask of her.   It will always be in her mind that she wears her collar for *you*.

Having her assume certain standard slave positions is a way to both signal her that you are now moving into a more formal role with each other and also allow her to return to quickly enter a submissive state of mind.

I like to enhance her state of submission by the use of a unique perfume.   Have her wear it each time you have a special scene with her.   In this way, the scent becomes identified with her submission and the next time she smells it, she will be more easily transported back into the depths that she had reached during your previous scenes.

Attention to Detail

Your attention to detail is important.   You know what you want her to do and it’s important that you communicate that clearly to her.   Beyond that, it has several other purposes.   Not only does it focus her attention on you, but it lets her every day thoughts and stresses in her life fall away, and this is a wonderful escape for her.   As her Master, you want to give her tasks that draw out her submission and if she does allow herself to be distracted, her attention needs to be brought back to you with a few quick swats.   This also allows her to feel that she has *your* attention as much as she has yours.

Limits and Rules

The Desire for Structure A submissive woman often craves more “structure” in her life and there can be many reasons for this.   If her parents acted inconsistently with her, it can often created the longing to know where she stands in relation to them and what is expected from her.   Never knowing what is acceptable and what is not can be a very confusing situation for a child.   By giving your sub very clear limits and rules on her behavior, you are now creating an environment for her where she can relax and be secure in the knowledge of what is expected of her and how she can best please you.

Testing Limits

Setting rules and limits for your slavegirl is extremely important for it is within these boundaries she feels most cared for.   As part of her feeling secure within the relationship, she needs – even unconsciously – to test her limits.   This is an extremely important point.   If she breaks a rule and you let it slide without bringing it to her attention, you are not allowing her to feel safe within your care.   She can’t feel safe within your limits, if the limits are not there or are vague.   This testing process is something that never really stops though at first she will feel the need to test you often until she learns that you will follow through.   The sooner you do that, the quicker she will feel the reality of your concern for her.

A submissive woman *wants* a strong Master, one who sets guidelines on her behavior that are for her own good and then who has the strength and authority to be sure they are followed.   It’s almost impossible for me to emphasize how important a point this is.   The most common and biggest complaint I am told by submissive women is that their Masters are not “strict” enough.   Inconsistency on your part is see by her as a sign of weakness, and she cannot feel submissive to a weak man.

Be Consistent

Remember that her greatest desire is to feel that she has lost control to you and must do as she is told.   If she does not do exactly as instructed she wants to know there will be a consequence, for if there is not, she will not feel your control of her is real.   If you let her down by allowing her to get away with breaking her rules, she will feel that your control over her is not real.   It’s like saying you don’t care for her enough to watch over her and she will feel a very definite lack of attention from you.

Some Examples of Rules and Limits

The kinds of rules and limits you set for your slavegirl depend on your wishes and insight as to what you feel is best for her, taking into great consideration her goals for herself.   I would suggest that in the beginning, the fewer rules you have for her the better.   This way she can be very clear on what is expected of her and it will make it easier for you to enforce them.   Sit down with her and discuss the rules you feel she needs.   I think you’ll find she knows exactly what they are and will welcome your help in “assisting” her to accomplish them.

Household chores are a good starting point.   Make a list of daily chores for her and see that they are done such as making the bed, all kitchen dishes put away, etc.   Hold frequent inspections. Remember, she will need to test you very much at first and only when she feels sure she’ll be disciplined for not doing them will she be able to get them done knowing she has no choice about it – which will be a tremendous relief to her.

Here is a quote that shows the subs desire for having rules:   “I am very good at “rules”… I like to feel like the man has control in many ways.   Not in my work life or who I can talk to and such but in our personal relationship.   Little things like what I am to wear when with him… or certain behaviors I am supposed to follow… my Dom used to have me kneel as soon as we were alone together, and riding in the car I was to always have my skirt hiked up. “

Spankings and Discipline

It is very thrilling for your sub to know she is subject to your discipline.   She wants rules and limits set for her and knows that there will be consequences for not obeying them.   If there are no consequence then she cannot feel the control that she longs for.   Accepting a spanking where the focus is on correcting her behavior rather than for her own pleasure is proof of her submission to you.   It makes your control of her very real.   There is a big distinction between a spanking given for the pure enjoyment of it and one given as punishment.   Though many pleasure spankings are given under the guise of a punishment for misbehaving, it’s clear that the focus is on its eroticism and the "punishment” aspect is just a pretense.

Some submissive women would never want a spanking they thought was given as a punishment.   For them, it is a completely pleasurable experience and they don’t want them to be associated with a punishment” in any form.

However, there are some submissive women who *love* to be spanked as a punishment and there are several reasons for this.   We all grew up knowing that spankings were given as a punishment and though now as adults we find them pleasurable, the connection between spankings and punishment still remains and can be a very hot erotic trigger for the sub.   If she started having spanking fantasies at a young age when having your bottom paddled and being punished are one in the same, they will often revolve around the idea of being punished for some reason, whether real or imagined.

Due to societies generally negative view of d/s and s/m, many women who crave a spanking or whipping often have great conflicts about it, wondering how they could possibly be so “strange” or “weird”.   It is often not an easy admission to make, so it’s much easier to rationalize the desire for a spanking by connecting it to a wrong doing in order to “earn” a spanking rather than having the freedom to simply ask their lover for one.

The Desire to be Perfect

There is a tendency in some submissive women to be “perfect”.   Though this can be an admirable goal, it can often be taken to extremes and that’s something to be aware of.   I am now talking about the desire to strive to improve, to make an effort to do the best job possible, and as we know, that takes a great deal of energy.   Here is a quote that illustrates this point: “I started thinking about why punishment appealed to me and I wasn’t sure if it was just another way to test limits… or the thought of the luxury of having something to “make” me do the things I really want to do anyway… but, instead, I allow life (work, fatigue) get in the way.   “I have very high expectations for myself… I am lucky in the fact that I am intelligent and beautiful… but I think given these "gifts” that they should be utilized to the fullest extent…“

A submissive woman like this wants to be "pushed” into making a greater effort with herself.   She knows what she is capable of achieving and wants help in making it a reality.   To me, this is one of the most positive aspects of spankings treated as a punishment.   As her Master, your responsibility is to take care of her and to see she does what is best for her.   You need to work with her to be sure her rules and limits are for her own benefit and help her to meet her own personal goals.   If structured this way, the focus of the spanking is not because she was “bad”, but rather she is being spanked to help her improve herself.   In this way, your discipline of her is another way you can show her you love and care.

Here is a quote from a woman who loves the thought of being punished for not meeting her own standards of behavior for herself.

“One of my fantasies is to have someone in my life just for the purpose of correcting my faults.   He would make me keep a list of all my misbehaviors.   Being lazy at work, or late.   Eating junk food, or not going to the gym.   Being rude to people unnecessarily.   I would have to keep a list, and once a week he would come and read the list.   Or more.   And he would make me describe each incident, he would lecture me about it, he would establish a separate punishment for each offense on the list.   And I would be told over and over what I’m being punished for, or would be required to recite it to him.   Twelve swats of the paddle for this.   Six strokes of the cane for that, you know.   He would read them off the list in random order, call me out of the corner at any moment to take my next licking, send me back to the corner afterwards.”

This is one of my favorite quotes because it so clearly illustrates the connection between behavior and its punishment.   There is no doubt in her mind on why she is being punished and she accepts her punishment knowing how much it will help her to improve her behavior in the future.

For a sub, it is quite a luxury to have a disciplinarian in their life and to not have to rely solely on their own will-power.   We all have chores to do that are not particularly enjoyable and if left undone it weighs on our minds and becomes a burden.   As her Master, you can provide the “incentive” she needs to get what needs to be done finished and out of the way so it does not hang over her and drain her energy.

The thought and anticipation of being punished for not doing something is often extremely exciting and this enables the sub to tap into her sexual energy to complete her chores.   For example, scrubbing the kitchen floor is not much fun but the knowledge that she’s in for a good spanking if it’s not completed can add tremendous sexual energy to her task.

You can also assist her in this by telling her that her work will be “inspected” and if not found adequate she’ll be disciplined.   By the way, the word “inspection” is a very *hot* trigger for most subs.   Knowing her work will be reviewed helps her to focus on the task at hand to do the kind of quality job she really wants to do but has to struggle with finding sufficient energy.

Punishment as a way of Absolution and Forgiveness

Another aspect of being “punished” is that it allows her to let go of any self-imposed “guilt” over her behavior.   This is especially important for those women who strive to be perfect and have the tendency to be self-critical.   This can be compounded if she was raised in an environment where past mistakes were never forgotten but were continually brought to her attention.   When she is punished, she can face her mistake, accept her punishment as a motivation to improve (not for being “bad”), be completely forgiven and then to happily move on.

Some Cautions over Punishment Spankings

Since a punishment spanking is going to be harder for her to endure than one given for pleasure, you want to be sure she is in the right mental head space for taking one.   In other words, she must feel the spanking is deserved, so my advice here is never punish her for something left unclear.   Make your rules very clear and specific so she knows *exactly* when she is breaking them.   If it helps, set time deadlines so she can’t claim she was “just going to do it.”   Another caution here about being consistent.   If you punished her one week for breaking a rule and let the same infraction go the next, you are giving her very mixed and confusing signals which will make it difficult for her to take your control seriously, and this will have very negative consequences to both your roles.   She will need to test you until she feels secure you are going to follow through so *be consistent* – this is extremely important.

Preparing her for Punishment

A punishment spanking is often more filled with ritual than most any other scene and draws very much on her anticipation of an event that she knows will be a test and challenge to her.   Sending to her room to await you should excite her greatly even though she knows the spanking may not be that enjoyable.   Making *her* fetch the implement used in her correction is an added erotic embarrassment.   You may want to have her strip in advance and go to the corner to reflect upon her infraction and what steps she is going to take in the future to avoid a similar lapse.   Or, you may want to have her place herself face down on the bed with a pillow under her hips and paddle beside her.   If you want to see just how exciting the anticipation of a punishment can be, have her wait at least 10 minutes before you come into the room and then check her for wetness.

You may want to lecture her on her behavior, emphasizing *exactly* what she did to earn this correction, and during the spanking itself, pause several times and give her the chance to promise better behavior in the future.   This is important as it keep the emphasis on the punishment as motivation to improve her behavior and not because she was “bad” or displeased you for not getting it done.

The focus of a punishment spanking is less on her pleasure (even though it will at least initially be very exciting) so you may want to give her less of a warm up than usual before increasing the intensity of the spanking.   If you tell her in advance how many strokes she is to be given it may help her to endure the spanking knowing when the end will come.   If this is the second spanking for the same offense, be sure to increase the number of spanks so she gets the idea that a future lapse will be met with more severity.

As further confirmation of your roles, after the spanking she should thank you for taking the time and effort to discipline her, and then it’s up to you if you want to ravish her or send her to the corner!   The point I’m making here is that even though this is “punishment” there’s no reason it can’t end in pleasure for her.   After all, she has been “punished” and all is forgiven.

Some alternate punishments may be requiring her to write a certain number of punishment lines.   This is more of a childhood punishment but is very effective as it has less eroticism connected with it than a spanking.

How to enjoy your slave (in ways she or she’ll love)

Here are some suggestions on how to enjoy your slavegirl, get your way, and at the same time emphasize the depths of her submission.

Exploring Embarrassment

One wonderful aspect of d/s is that it lets you explore so many emotions in safety.   When done with love and care, embarrassing your slavegirl can be an extremely intense experience for her and one that will make her feel very controlled.   When you give her an embarrassing task and she obeys, it is a way you can both feel the strength of your respective roles.   Her obedience in being embarrassed proves to you both that she is your slavegirl and will do whatever you ask of her.   As her Master, you want to think of as many ways as possible to demonstrate this and you will feel that your control of her is as complete as possible.   Many ideas for increasing the depths of her submission utilize embarrassment in one form or another.   One point to keep in mind is not to intrude upon the privacy of other people who do not understand the kinds of exploration that goes on in a d/s relationship.   Be creative and you will find many ways she can be thoroughly embarrassed in front of others while being the only one that knows the real reason she is acting as she is.

Positions

There is a direct connection between your subs physical position and her mental/emotional state.   Kneeling before you will instantly put her in a submissive state.   Have fun exploring positions and be sure she maintains the proper position and keeps good posture at all times.   If you are relaxing on the couch reading or watching TV, call her over to you, perhaps you will use a “pet” name for her as a signal that she is now your slavegirl and has no choice but to obey.   Tell her to kneel at your feet for awhile and that she is not to move or speak until given permission.   Have her pay attention to her posture, and if she slouches give her a correction of some kind.   Perhaps putting her over your lap for a few quick spanks before having her resume her position or by simply giving her nipples a few pinches.   Of course, the next time she gets careless with her posture, the correction will be a bit stronger.   In this way, she will know that she is there just for you and that though you don’t feel it necessary to be actively engaged with her, she also knows that you are paying attention to her and are enjoying her company.

Another suggestion would be to put her on shoulders and knees in front of you and bare her bottom.   She is your slavegirl and if you want to enjoy her feminine charms you may at any time.   You might also tell her to reach back and spread her cheeks so you can better enjoy the sight of your little pleasure slave.   If you wish, tease her a little with some caresses and then go back to your book or television program.

One of my favorite activities is to have a crop handy and on occasion to give her a few nice swats for no reason other than you enjoy seeing a few stripes on her cheeks.   She will LOVE this and it makes clear that you enjoy giving her these sensations as much as she loves receiving them.   I’m sure you will notice an instant sexual reaction to being subject to your control in this way.   Crops are wonderful because not only can you redden her bottom with them, you can also use them to tease and caress her pussy.   Alternate a few more strokes with pleasuring her and then as a wonderful embarrassment, moisten the tip of the crop with her wetness and gently press it against her lips and have her lick it clean.   In this way, she has to admit to herself how excited she is by what you are doing to her.   You are reminding both her and yourself of how much she loves being your slavegirl and she no longer has to “hide” the intensity of her sexual reactions to being your slave.

Focusing her Attention

To send her even deeper in her submission, focus her attention.   For example, while she is still on shoulders and knees, balance the crop across her hips and tell her she is to not let it fall.   So now, not only is she in this sexual and submissive position, but she must concentrate on obeying *your* command and this lets her focus on you and allows her to demonstrate just how important obeying you is to her.   Of course, I don’t need to tell you what should happen if she does squirm and let’s the crop fall, do I?   The only question here is does she get just six strokes or twelve?   A very erotic example of focusing her attention is to instruct her to keep her nipples hard for you during a specific playtime.

Focusing her attention on you is very important for it let’s her draw on her real desire to please you by being a good slavegirl.   This is both a challenge to her and also something she very much wants to do.   Much of the formality of d/s is to find ways you can both very clearly express your care for each other.

A Sweet Torment

Another very exciting idea is to place her in this shoulders and knees position and to play with her sexually.   Enjoy her slight moans of pleasure for awhile and then firmly tell her she is not to make any sound at all as you continue to tease and caress her.   Be very clear that if she breaks your rule, there will be a consequence… Such a sweet torment, isn’t it?   If she reaches the level of excitement where she does let a moan of pleasure escape her, you have the choice of going back to your book for a time leaving her to await your touch or to “punish” her with a nice spanking before resuming.   This is the kind of spanking that I personally love the most.   It is a “punishment” for moaning, but it is also for her pleasure and yours.   Of course, the spanking will only excite her all the more and make it even more difficult to keep silent as you instructed – but that’s the whole idea!

Ice

Since I like this image so much, I’ll continue a bit further!   The next time she moans, have her bring you some ice cubes and then get back in position.   If her bottom is sufficiently warm at this point slowly rub the ice cube over her reddened cheeks.   For many women, this is an exquisite sensation.   Just a quick aside here… this is a good example of something she may *want* to experience but cannot ask for.   This is where your strength, initiative and creativity as a Master all come into play.   Don’t be afraid to experiment with giving her new sensations.

As the ice becomes smoother, rub it slowly over her inner lips and pussy.   You may chose to insert it into her vagina or if it is sufficiently small and smooth slide it slowly into her tight little bottom.

Asking Permission

Another way you can constantly remind her that she is under your control is by having her ask your permission.   The more of her own independent action is restricted, the more her submission will increase.   One example that emphasizes this as well as serving as a subtle embarrassment is to have her ask your permission to visit the bathroom.   This touches upon the idea of her losing certain personal privacies which can increase the intimate bond between you both.   If she blushes, it’s a good sign!

If you take her out to a restaurant take away her menu and decide on her meal yourself.   This will not only increase her submission to you, but also relieves her of having to make a decision for herself.

Another very romantic and even more embarrassing experience for her would be to order nothing for her and then feed her from your own plate.   From time to time, place a tasty morsel on your fork and have her lean forward to take it from your hand.   I think this is a very sweet way for her to feel close and dependent upon you.

It’s very common not to allow a sub to climax without first being given permission.   She is “allowed” pleasure only upon your command which will emphasize your control over her.   It also increases the anticipation of finally being given permission which can hold her on the edge of a climax for an extended period which will build its intensity.

Not only may she not climax without permission, but she may not even be allowed to touch herself without permission.   By setting this rule for her, you are making her admit her desire to touch herself by asking for your permission which is also a way for you to know how excited she has become by your commands.

You may want to try holding her right at the edge of a climax and then order her to come for you in a commanding tone of voice.   You may find this has a remarkable effect.   Some women have the ability to be trained to climax on command and there are various techniques that can be used to accomplish this though I won’t go into them in this document.

Pulling her Hair

One very *hot* erotic trigger for many subs is having their hair pulled.   Not in a hurtful way, but as a very sensual experience.   For many women, this can be an extremely powerful turn on and you may be surprised by her reaction.   Call her over to you and caress her hair for a moment before gathering it up in your hands before firmly pulling her face toward you for a passionate kiss – she will melt in a puddle on the floor!

Treating her as a Cherished Pet

Many submissive women love being treated as a pet.   We all know how much love and attention our pets receive and it should be thrillingly embarrassing and sweet – not at all degrading.   Pet’s are often kept on a collar and leash too, aren’t they?   Try this on a special evening together.   Have her undress and kneel before you.   Tell her she is to be your pet for the evening and lovingly place her collar upon her and attach her leash to it.   Tell her she is to be your sweet little kitty and is not allowed to speak unless given permission.   Instead, she must meow and purr to you.

One very erotic idea is to have her purr and meow for you as you caress her.   Perhaps, if your loved pet is in “heat”, have her rub her little pussy against your leg as a way of begging for more attention.   Be sure to bring her to a climax while allowing only mews of pleasure…

It is an incredible feeling to have a woman you love and who loves you napping at your feet while you hold her leash in your hand.   Make a little nest of pillows and blankets in a corner and make that her special place.   As a pet, she is not allowed to stand or to use the furniture.   Perhaps you’ll put out a little saucer of milk for her to lap…

A theme such is this gets very much into role-play which can be a wonderful escape from the stress of your lives.   It is a unique time when you can forget about being adults and return to the innocent and creative play of children.

Like all my writings, this is more for myself than anyone else.   Dominance and submission (D/s) has always been a part of my life, both my greatest torment when not understood by either myself and those I shared my thoughts with, and finally the source of greatest contentment and pride when I finally realized how beautiful and loving an exchange it is.   In a way, it is impossible to describe or explain it to another unless that person has the creativity and capacity to see its full potential to draw two people so close together that *everything* they have inside of them can be revealed and that is when they can be loved unconditionally and completely.

The only rule to d/s is that there are no rules.   What each sub wants is different and takes varying forms.   I am writing this with a particular sub in mind, and that is the kind of woman who is so full of love that she longs to give herself unreservedly to her Master.   It is written for those women who want to be a full-time slavegirl, who enjoy the sensual pleasures of being spanked (and more!) and who want to be disciplined when they do not meet their own personal goals and the guidelines for behaviour set by their Master.

I don’t know the submissive that wrote this but when I find her I will credit her and thank her for sharing her insights with us all at Beautifully Bound.

If you want to share this you are more than welcome but please do the right thing and hit the REBLOG button rather than copy & paste it. Sir & I would greatly appreciate it.

Always

Evolution has sculpted every curve on your body for the express purpose of facilitating male pleasure both visually and tactilely. Think of yourself as a vehicle for sexual pleasure. You must fully embrace this role that nature has created for you as it will provide you, and more importantly men, with immense satisfaction. Accept that this arouses and excites you and act accordingly.

I had never thought about things in this way before, but it really makes sense.  Women evolved to be sexually attractive to men. Our shape, our voice, our movements.  It’s biology.  To go against that is fighting evolution.

Simply gorgeous

Things that happened after I became a stay at home wife

1. I rediscovered my beauty. Suddenly I had time to take care of myself. No longer I had eye bags, I could exercise, do my nails, put on face masks. All of this may seem trivial but I was so tired and unhappy with my job and the travel time. I was this beaten up shell of myself just going through life without any care of what may happen to me. I have now time to love me and make me feel beautiful, I act beautiful.

2. My relationship with my husband is stronger now. Nothing says “I trust you” more than just let him take care of me and be my provider and now he is so much more protective and loving. He has always being those things and yet he managed to give more. I learned that when a man feels your trust and how you believe in him, he can not help but cherish you and treasure you, and I can never get tired of that.

3. He is doing so much better at his job and in his life. He gets home now only to rest, no more shared house chores. I remember him every day how great he is and that confidence goes with him everywhere, he had never been this strong and self assured and I cannot help it, I love him more for it. He loves my cooking and he gets it every day, if he’s tired I no longer drop dead next to him in bed, I make him some tea, I give him a massage. We have time to have sex, I want now to have sex (remember, I feel beautiful).

4. I have time to pursue my hobbies. I started this blog, I write poetry, I exercise, I cook new recipes, I’m learning how to sew. I started college again too, even though I’m taking it easy. Since there’s no need for me to work, I study just because it brings me joy, and there’s no need  to rush. I’ll get my degree but my priority is just to be happy. (He has to repeat this in exam season every time though, sadly stress can get a little hard to manage).

I know the most important part of my life, and the reason that we both are so happy is because we deeply love each other, not that I’m homemaker. We would be happy even if something bad happened and I had to go out to work again. There are also woman who find their job meaningful and I will not tell any of them to give it up.

However, if there’s a woman out there who can be at home, who wants to be at home but still is not sure about, talk about it with their partner, most man also want this. Life’s too short to not be happy.

Start today its never to late  this can be you with enough training and motivation  #bimbofication

Honestly, most relationship problems can be solved by a little lipstick. A little lipstick and the idea that it’s his job to lead, and yours to look good for him as you follow.

Awesome supershiny black tight pants

Love Your Femininity

Be soft spoken, gentle and polite. Vulnerablity is your strength, cultivate it. Show compassion. Act with love. Enjoy your domestic duties. Take care of your man. Love him. Spoil him. Give him the respect he craves and he needs. Dress feminine. Dress modestly out in the world. Dress for him in the bedroom. Embrace your beauty. Take precious care of your body. Be gentle with your children.

These are simple ways of embracing your femininity.