Happy New Year! Gosh, It's Been A Long Time!

Healing for a Better Future: Why My Next Relationship Deserves a Fresh Start

Hey everyone,

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately and how our past can impact our future. I’ve come to realize that my next relationship shouldn’t be weighed down by what happened in my past. Instead, I need to heal and grow so that I can give my future partner the best version of myself.

We all have experiences that shape who we are. Some of these experiences are amazing, while others might be painful. It’s easy to let the negative ones cloud our judgment and affect how we treat new people in our lives. But that's not fair to them or to us. Each new person deserves a chance to be seen for who they really are, not through the lens of our past hurts.

Healing is super important. It means recognizing the pain, understanding how it affects us, and working to move past it. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. It means learning from it and letting go of the negativity. By doing this, we can take the lessons we’ve learned and use them to become better people.

Part of healing is about growing as a person. It’s about seeing where we can improve, like being better at communicating, setting healthy boundaries, or just being more self-aware. By focusing on our growth, we make sure that we bring the best version of ourselves into our next relationship.

When we commit to healing and personal growth, we give our future partners the chance to be seen and loved for who they truly are, without the shadows of our past experiences. This fresh start is not only good for the new relationship but also freeing for us. It lets us experience love and connection in a more genuine and fulfilling way.

As I work on healing and growing, I feel hopeful for the future. By dealing with my past and focusing on myself, I believe I can create a healthier and more loving environment for my next relationship. It’s not about being perfect but about making progress, and each step I take brings me closer to being the person I want to be for my future partner.

In the end, our pasts might shape us, but they don’t have to define our future relationships. By committing to healing and personal growth, we can make sure our next relationship starts with mutual respect, understanding, and genuine love. Here’s to new beginnings and a brighter tomorrow. 🫶

Hope you all have a great day!

A list of items that I take for granted, which might not be available to people in other parts of the world.

Wow. This is tough. Just thinking about it makes me realize how unappreciative I am of the little things that would mean a lot to other people if we were to trade places.

House - I own a house, though it's not entirely mine yet. This place is where my trauma began, and every visit brings back painful memories. As a result, I often find myself in other cities, feeling out of place. While I am thankful for having a house, I can't call it a home. It's a gift that I dread because of the emotions it evokes. However, through therapy, I've started to adjust and view it from a different perspective.

Food - I sometimes skip meals intentionally, driven by my concern for my weight due to scoliosis. I feel guilty about not eating regularly, knowing that many people struggle with hunger daily. I should appreciate the privilege of having food readily available and make healthier choices.

Water - Clean, running water is something I seldom think about. I can turn on the tap and expect it to be there, but many people around the world have to walk miles for access to water, and even then, it's not always safe to drink. I'm grateful for this basic necessity that's so easily accessible to me.

Electricity - From charging my phone to lighting my home, I rely on electricity every day. Power outages are rare inconveniences, whereas for some, electricity is a luxury they can't afford or only have sporadically.

Healthcare - Access to medical care is something I often take for granted. When I'm sick or need a check-up, I can see a doctor without worrying too much about the cost or availability. Many people don't have this privilege and suffer from preventable or treatable conditions due to lack of access.

Education - I had the opportunity to go to school and pursue higher education. This has opened many doors for me, but for millions of children and adults, education is out of reach due to various socioeconomic barriers.

Internet Access - The internet is an integral part of my life, providing endless information and opportunities for connection. Yet, there are many areas in the world where internet access is limited or non-existent, cutting people off from these resources.

Clothing - I have a wardrobe full of clothes for every occasion, while others have to make do with the bare minimum. Having adequate clothing for different seasons and activities is something I often overlook in terms of privilege.

Transportation - Whether it's public transit, my car, or even a bike, I have multiple options to get where I need to go. In contrast, many people have to walk long distances or rely on unreliable and unsafe transportation methods.

Safety - Living in a relatively safe neighborhood is something I take for granted. The peace of mind that comes from feeling secure in my environment is a privilege that not everyone experiences.

Freedom of Speech - I can express my opinions and beliefs without fear of persecution. This freedom is not universal, and many people live in fear of speaking out due to oppressive regimes or societal norms.

Job Opportunities - Even though I have faced setbacks and challenges in my career, I still have access to job opportunities and the ability to seek new ones. Many people struggle with unemployment or underemployment, unable to find work that provides a livable wage.

It's true that life can sometimes feel overwhelming, but taking a step back to appreciate what we have can bring a lot of peace and motivation. What are some things you're grateful for today?

Some moments cut so deep they become woven into who we are. Choosing to close the door on someone who brought so much pain isn’t just a decision; it’s survival. In the quiet spaces of my heart, I still hear the echoes of betrayal, disappointment, and heartbreak. Whenever I think of letting him back in, a wave of loathing rises up, reminding me that stepping back into that pain would mean losing myself all over again.

Let’s be clear: there are people who take and take, leaving nothing but a hollow shell in their wake. He was one of those people. The way he twisted my trust into a weapon against me was nothing short of monstrous. I loathe him, not just for what he did, but for the way he made me feel—small, insignificant, and unworthy of love. He took my vulnerability and used it as a means to manipulate and control, and the sheer audacity of that betrayal is enough to make my blood boil.

The memories haunt me like phantoms in the night. I remember the promises made, the tender words whispered in the dark, and the way they all crumbled like ash in the face of reality. He was a storm that wrecked my peace, and now, the thought of inviting that chaos back into my life makes my stomach churn. I would rather drown in despair than suffer through another chapter of torment that he would bring.

It’s infuriating how someone can waltz in and out of your life, leaving you to pick up the shattered pieces of your heart. I have spent countless nights wrestling with the demons of self-doubt and despair he unleashed upon me. I have fought against the notion that I am somehow responsible for the pain he inflicted. But now, with every ounce of strength within me, I declare that I will not let him back in. I refuse to be a victim of his charm once more, a puppet in his twisted game of manipulation.

The agony of betrayal runs deep, and the scars left behind are reminders of the strength I’ve found within myself. The choice to keep him out is not just about protection; it’s about self-respect. I would rather die than endure the suffering of reliving the torment he caused. The thought of opening that door, of offering him a second chance he does not deserve, fills me with a deep, aching dread.

So, I stand firm. I choose to honor my pain rather than let it fester into something more destructive. I refuse to let him back in, to allow his toxicity to seep into my life once more. Every moment spent apart is a testament to my resilience, a reminder that I have the power to reclaim my life from the wreckage he left behind.

To anyone who finds themselves at a similar crossroads: choose yourself. Choose peace over chaos. The road ahead may be paved with heartache, but it’s also a path toward healing and strength. Embrace the emotions that arise—let the anger and sadness wash over you, but don’t let them define you. You are not a product of someone else’s actions; you are a warrior who has fought and survived.

In the end, my decision is not just about him; it’s about my freedom. I will not suffer the consequences of his choices any longer. I will not allow the ghosts of my past to dictate my future. I close this chapter for good, sealing the door with a promise to myself: I am worthy of better.

Why People in Relationships Who Stay in the Dating Pool Are the Worst 🙄🙄🙄

Let’s get one thing straight: if you’re already in a relationship and still lurking in the dating pool, you’re playing with fire—and not in the fun, adventurous way. You’re deliberately hurting people, and no matter how you spin it, that’s just plain selfish.

For starters, relationships are built on trust. When someone chooses to be with you, they’re committing their time, emotions, and often a big part of their life to you. By keeping one foot in the dating world, you’re betraying that trust. It’s dishonest and manipulative. You’re leading people on, both your partner and anyone you’re flirting with in the dating scene, giving them false hope or expectations.

It's not just about hurting your partner either. The people you’re chatting up on dating apps or meeting through other channels? They're being deceived too. No one enters the dating pool thinking they’re going to be someone’s backup plan or side fling. Most people are there hoping to build something genuine, and by pretending to be available, you’re wasting their time and energy—time they could be using to find someone who's actually emotionally and physically available.

Then there’s the emotional damage you're causing. People who discover their partner is still dating on the side often end up with trust issues, insecurities, and emotional scars that last long after the relationship ends. You’re not just making a mistake in the moment; you’re causing long-term harm to others.

Being in the dating pool while in a relationship is an act of selfishness. It shows a lack of respect for your partner and for the people you're stringing along. If you're unhappy in your current relationship or seeking something new, the mature and respectful thing to do is end things before involving other people. Otherwise, you're just proving you don’t value honesty, loyalty, or the feelings of those around you.

In short, if you’re in a relationship and still trying to date, you're acting like an asshole. It’s toxic, harmful, and deeply disrespectful to everyone involved. Do better. 💅

I don’t know about you, but dating apps are a comedy goldmine. Don’t get me wrong—I understand their purpose and how they’ve helped so many people find connections, but honestly, they’re like an endless source of entertainment for me.

First of all, the profiles. Some are well thought out, showcasing someone’s personality and interests, but then you’ve got the absolute gems. The guys who upload blurry photos from 2010, or better yet, a group photo where you have no idea which person you're supposed to be swiping on. Or the ones where they pose with a fish—what’s with the fish?! Is that supposed to reel me in?

And let’s not forget the bios. I’ve seen it all—from overly poetic lines like, “I’m a wanderer looking for my partner in this chaotic universe” to the extreme laziness of, “I don’t know what to put here, just ask.” You get two extremes—people trying way too hard to sound deep and philosophical, or people who are straight-up giving no effort. Both are funny, in their own ways.

The conversations, though, that’s where the real comedy kicks in. Sometimes you get a perfectly fine opener like, “Hey, how’s it going?” Other times, it’s like people forget how to have a normal conversation and come in with, “You’re cute, wanna get married?” I mean, at least they’re getting to the point! But really, there’s no better way to start a day than by reading awkward pickup lines or someone saying something completely random out of nowhere. It's like people are playing a game of How weird can I be?

And then there’s the unmatched confidence some people have. Like, they’ll send one message and if you don’t respond in 15 minutes, it’s either “Hello??” or worse, “I didn’t like you anyway.” What even is that?! The speed at which some people can go from interested to offended is impressive.

Maybe I’m just here for the show, but dating apps, to me, are like reality TV: a little absurd, a little unexpected, and always good for a laugh. Sure, I might be looking for a real connection, but I’m definitely going to enjoy the comedy while I’m at it.

Happy New Year everyone! It’s noisy out here! ♥️ Despite of all the noise around, I’m doing a movie marathon of LOTR and The Hobbit. Hope you’re having a blast tonight! 💗

So this is how it feels when you have so much inside your head

I don’t know if peaches tastes good with condensed milk....

Re-reading 1984 today. ❤️ What are your plans?