Glass Onion + Text Posts (part 1)

Testimony During the Blight Divorce Hearings

Luz: She tried to kill me! After tourting me all night.. which is hard my pain and humliation thresholds are VERY high.

Edric: I intorduced my boyfriend to her. she just.. laughed for like 80 mintues straight

Rad:…. it still haunts me

Willow: She told amity to stop hanging out iwth me or else, expelled me and tried to murder my boyfriend

Hunter: I’m her boyfriend! Oh and she once kneed me in the shin during an arms deal. She thought I wasn’t looking but I was

Amira: Her response to me dying my sisters hair was to sue me. I still won but I had an excellent lawyer

Tiny Nose: I somehow passed the baw!

Alador: She once literally whipped me to get me to work faster.. it wa sfun at first but then…

King: She threw a pinecone at me!

Eda: She tried to murder my daughter. The only reason I didn’t kill her is that I had better things to do.

Hooty: She called me a freak of nature! AM I A FREAK? AM I?

Lilith: She never respected me.. she was always like “ehhh tell it to your boss’ and I did but he did nothing.

Rahne: She let a feral racoon into my office.

Steve: Steve just loves the drama.. but she did hit me with her scroll for not unloading things fast enough once.

Boscha: She called me bobscha. That’s clearly my sperm donor!

Darius: She insulted this outfit!

Skara: She called me the annoying one. Has she met Boscha?

Principal Bump: She forced me to expel my children! MY CHILDREENNNN (bursts into tears)

Commander Renee Minkowski

Reblog if you agree

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John Doenut

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