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Luz: She tried to kill me! After tourting me all night.. which is hard my pain and humliation thresholds are VERY high.
Edric: I intorduced my boyfriend to her. she just.. laughed for like 80 mintues straight
Rad:…. it still haunts me
Willow: She told amity to stop hanging out iwth me or else, expelled me and tried to murder my boyfriend
Hunter: I’m her boyfriend! Oh and she once kneed me in the shin during an arms deal. She thought I wasn’t looking but I was
Amira: Her response to me dying my sisters hair was to sue me. I still won but I had an excellent lawyer
Tiny Nose: I somehow passed the baw!
Alador: She once literally whipped me to get me to work faster.. it wa sfun at first but then…
King: She threw a pinecone at me!
Eda: She tried to murder my daughter. The only reason I didn’t kill her is that I had better things to do.
Hooty: She called me a freak of nature! AM I A FREAK? AM I?
Lilith: She never respected me.. she was always like “ehhh tell it to your boss’ and I did but he did nothing.
Rahne: She let a feral racoon into my office.
Steve: Steve just loves the drama.. but she did hit me with her scroll for not unloading things fast enough once.
Boscha: She called me bobscha. That’s clearly my sperm donor!
Darius: She insulted this outfit!
Skara: She called me the annoying one. Has she met Boscha?
Principal Bump: She forced me to expel my children! MY CHILDREENNNN (bursts into tears)
Somebody write this fanfic NOW
OKAY HEAR ME OUT - Puck bunny Austria and hockey player Prussia
Roderich, who usually prides himself on knowing who is on the local team and misses the biggest trade of the season
Gilbert who who finds out about the trade right before the deadline on social media and it’s all anyone seems to be talking about on his timeline
Alfred and Matthew, who have known Gilbert forever, feeling bad for him despite their excitement for Gilbert joining their team and taking him out one night once he’s settled in
Roderich, going out with Arthur to see a local band and hanging out by the bar while Arthur gets crushed in the pit
Alfred spotting Roderich and immediately running to find Arthur because he will get that man to say yes to a date if it’s the last god damn thing he does
Gilbert and Matthew getting separated in the crowd, so Gilbert slips off to the bar to get a drink and seeing Roderich for the first time and instantly falling for him before he even introduces himself
Roderich recognising the man standing next to him immediately and letting Gilbert buy him a drink without trying to be too obvious
Gilbert and Roderich spending the rest of the show together talking. Gilbert feeling like he has someone who actually listens and cares for the first time in a long time
Gilbert asking Roderich to go back to his hotel with him. They hook up and Roderich leaves in the middle of the night
Gilbert going to practice the next morning and finding Roderich taking to Matthew like he hung the stars and understanding what happened and who Roderich is which sets off a string of loathing and miscommunication
“Thank fuck I only have a year here, you’re making my life a living hell” -Gilbert Beilschmidt
Alfred being forced to ban Roderich from practices because Gilbert seems to be intent on getting into stupid fights with him, but can’t do anything about games when he shows up with Arthur (who is dating Alfred by this point)
Roderich trying to act like he’s not completely in love with Gilbert
Gilbert taking a bad hit in the last regular season game and Roderich waiting outside the locker room until the team doctor decides Gilbert can change and go up to the players box
Gilbert walking out of the locker room fully expecting to be alone, only to be wrapped up in Roderich’s arms
Gilbert being forced to watch the playoffs from the players box because he’s too injured to play, and Roderich sitting with him for every game
Gilbert explaining the game to Roderich because he realises while he knows a lot about the players, he knows almost nothing about the nuances of hockey
Roderich and Gilbert genuinely enjoying each others presence and falling into a routine when the team doctors clear Gilbert for play in the semifinals, where they lose
Roderich’s heart sinking when he realises this is the end of Gilbert being on the team and they’re likely never going to see each other again so he leaves before Gilbert hurts him again
Gilbert making the decision to stay on the team and looking for Roderich, and finding him nowhere. Practically begging Arthur to tell him where he went