Not A Big Writer But I Do Have Some Things I Need To Put Down! I'll Be Your Friend!

Me: Return it My mom: What?!- no I can't retu- Me: It is ugly. Where is it's tail? Why is it screaming? It stinky. Return it.

You are a siren, a rather young one. Today your mother, the leader of your pod, introduced an unfamiliar little squishy pink thing to you as your little sibling.

Anti-social people: FUCK YEAH BITCH!!!!!

You were cursed by an evil witch to become a horrible monster. You know that she meant to destroy your life, but you have never been happier.

I move the smol baby to my bed and tuck them in, letting them sleep

Early one morning, you start your normal routine of making coffee, but when you pull your favorite coffee mug from the cupboard, you find a very small dragon curled up in the bottom, sleeping contentedly.

I don't get it. I'm that dumb.

Kinda fuckin scary but what the hell

Not compared to the life spans elves have in "Keeper of the Lost Cities" they aren't

if you're 30 then you are NOT old. I cannot stress this enough. you're probably less than a third of the way through life. life is long as fuck you have so much time here

This is so fucking true.

down with found family. UP with FOUND DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: *is crying* Demon hunter 1: WHY THE FUCK IS SHE CRYING?! WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO?! Demon hunter 3:*is panik* Demon hunter 2: I'm too sober for this.... *goes to drink alcohol*

Your father is a demon, and your mother is a human. You were raised by her, and only saw your father a handful of times as a kid. Your mom raised you right. You're by all accounts a pretty good person, which is why it was a shock when demon hunters showed up at your door.

I choke on my own spit.

drink water

Me: SO SOMEONE WAS ABLE TO GET IN HERE, LEAVE THIS, AND GET OUT?! WHY DIDN'T THEY TAKE ME?!

You’re stuck in a dungeon. you have been in here so long you don’t remember what crime you committed to be thrown in here. The kingdom has long since collapsed, and you’ve been stuck drinking the drips off the walls and eating the rats. One day you wake up to a surprise, a letter and the key.

And in some states it's illegal to take a picture of someone without their consent