Not Compared To The Life Spans Elves Have In "Keeper Of The Lost Cities" They Aren't

My 65 year old grandma and I both think they look like tanks. Why are they built like that?

Every time I see one

Me: I MAY HAVE KILLED THE ENTIRE PLANET SOMEHOW!!! WHY WAS EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER ATTACKING ANYWAY?! I BETTER BE GETTING A PAY RAISE TOO!!!

You're just a simple pikeman who managed too hold a mountain pass fort alone against an army of thousands, ogres, Mages, and even a dragon at one point. Allowing your kingdom too win the main front and survive. Everyone looks at you now in relief and awe as you return home to the capital

No no Angel.... let Niffty cook

. . . Guilty!!!!

reblog if you're a writer but would rather drink straight cyanide than show any of your family members your work

@chromeeeeeeeeee why is this so true?????????????

I choke on my own spit.

drink water

God

who gave me all this autism

Someone: What's you're power? Me: I lose all common sense at random times.... Someone else: Oh shit!

In a world where superpowers are ranked based on its lethality and threat levels, you somehow ends up pretty high on the rank despite having a power that’s anything but lethal OR threatening.

The cross-over I never knew I needed

They

*intense thinking* you... could be the god mother if you want! Come over anytime! And you can choose the middle name! And teach the child magic!

“You should be aware that casting this spell will legally require me to take your firstborn child” said the Witch, “but the meaning of ‘take’ was never defined, so I imagine we can figure out a loophole or two that’d work for you.”