Nakajima Atsushi...and The Slow Steps It Takes To Fully Believe In Yourself. A Lot Of Stories Have The

I absolutely love the sskk (fic) dynamic where Akutagawa loves Atsushi yet he doesn't tell him due to fear

He holds in his feelings because of fear of rejection, fear of Atsushi hating him for loving him and losing Atsushi. Fear of losing the only person bathed in light in his life. Fear of losing his equal because of three words

I just think it's a beautifully tragic take on their romantic relationship, where Akutagawa loves Atsushi but he can't say it because what if Atsushi doesn't requite his feelings? Considering fanfiction though, Atsushi 100% loves him back, but yk

Akutagawa has experienced more loss in his life than anyone should, and the inner monologue of him being so scared to lose Atsushi or disgust Atsushi with his real feelings would make a great oneshot/fic

Seeing Akutagawa deal with alienating feelings like love for Atsushi is always so interesting to me

Sskk reunion sskk reunion but seriously sskk reunion. They've been separated so long. Last time they met, Akutagawa died to allow Atsushi to survive. And then all the airport mess, and Akutagawa subjugating Jouno, and Atsushi being trapped by Teruko; and then they meet again, but it's not really them, Akutagawa is a vampire, he doesn't recognize Atsushi. They are in the same place, but they're not reunited. Then, Fukuchi dies, Dostoyevsky gets reincarnated in Bram, the airport is turned to rubble; Akutagawa is finally back, but he's still not here. Atsushi is still unrecognizable for Akutagawa. They're still separated. He fights Ame-no-Gozen, he loses, and Atsushi dies for him in turn. He dies for him, because Akutagawa's life is worth dying for even if he doesn't remember him. He dies for him, and Akutagawa gets his memories back, but it's a split second too late, Atsushi is gone already. They're torn apart again.

And it's softly excruciating? Two men being so intertwined and complementary, who only make sense as halves of a same whole, who can only know themselves when they are together, being violently taken apart for so long. Always on the verge of meeting, but unable to touch each other. It must be agonizing, unbearable.

Until Atsushi gets out of the fourth dimension. And he's immediately attacked by Ame-no-Gozen, and Akutagawa saves him. And Atsushi knew that Akutagawa was there, but he doesn't know– he doesn't know that Akutagawa is truly back this time. He tells him “Just the two of us?”, and doesn't know what to expect, doesn't know what he's allowed to hope for. And it's only when Akutagawa delivers the only right answer there there is to it, that Atsushi gets it: he's back. They're back. And he smiles!!!!!!! And he knows nothing else matters!!!!!!! They can face everything together!!!!!!! They faced death twice and they're still there fighting side by side. Isn't!! That!! Insane!!!!!!!!!!

Here's a sskk Spotify playlist I made if anyone wants it

Redraw of Dead Apple's second volume cover

Kyouka is adorable<3

I started a new sketchbook! (〜^ . ^)〜

(has anyone found a cure for bsd yet?)

Here are some images of the bite in case anyone wanted a refresh on just how gay this entire scene was<3

Oh also I'd like to mention that Akutagawa was noticably gentle when biting Atsushi, he usually grabbed his victim harshly and unhinged his jaw to take a chomp, but with Atsushi he was pretty delicate. I guess even in his vamp state he didn't want to hurt Atsushi

Okay so we all know that Atsushi must've replayed Akutagawa's death and final words like a million times in his head,

But what about the bite?

I know Akutagawa biting Atsushi while he was a vamp was after Akutagawa's death, but still, Atsushi had ample-ish time to think about it

I love how Akutagawa bites Jouno, Higuchi, etc all on their shoulder but when it's *Atsushi*, Akutagawa pulls down the collar of his shirt and bites him on the neck

There's no way in hell that Atsushi *didn't* think over that moment a bunch (the romantic tension was insane in that scene)

The fact that Akutagawa's lips and mouth have canonly come into contact with Atsushi's bare skin is something that I hold dearly in my heart

But really though, if sskk ever addresses the bite thing it's going to be so awkward, I love it 😭

First Akutagawa dies to save Atsushi, then he gives Atsushi a hickey in the middle of the war, and now Atsushi just died to save Akutagawa. How have they not kissed yet

@mi1ikan

*Mrrrr*

He grabs his clothes when he's nervous/scared I'm gonna sob

Asagiri please I'm begging you I NEED a scene where sskk talk about each other's trauma and trace each other's scars

Like just imagine Atsushi gently touching the scar on Akutagawa's neck with tears in his eyes as they talk about their pasts IT WOULD BE THE THERAPY I NEED