✨️🎂 Hbd Jay & Alfie 🎂✨️

Mission: Steal the Batmobile keys from Bruce's office Status: Fail due to irreversible emotional scarring

This lineart already took WAY too long to sketch & draw so my pitiful attempt at full color quickly pivoted to this. Inspired by a comic from Nan Hao & Shang Feng. Really recommend this silly manhua if you want an easy afternoon read.

son.

anyway i wanted to draw a short comic about jason

tell them

May I present to you…

TIM DRAKE AND JASON TODD’S CONFRONTATION IN TITANS TOWER.

AS IT WAS MEANT TO BE EXPERIENCED.

Bruce: I pissed off Jason to the point he decided to take out stitches in my uniform… it fell apart as soon as I put it on

Dick: That’s the thing with pissing off a ‘dead’ man. He’s got nothing but time

i’m asexual.

one of my favorite types of fanfic is smut.

i’m still asexual.

my playlist is full of insanely vulgar music.

i’m still asexual.

i love making dirty jokes.

i’m still asexual.

i’m aromantic.

one of my favorite types of fanfic is romance.

i’m still aromantic.

i listen to a lot of love songs and attribute them to my friends.

i’m still aromantic.

i love playfully flirting with people i’m close with.

i’m still aromantic.

I'm so fascinated (respectfully) by people who experience sexual attraction.

That's wild, you were just going about your business one day and what? The puberty fairy gave you an intense desire to kiss some thighs? You looked around and saw a bum and were like 'nothing would bring me greater pleasure than to grab that bum' It sounds made up.

"but tim is a misogynist in the earliest comics" "but dick cheated" "but jason is a manipulive sadist" pookie if you want to be in this fandom as well as to be sane you Cannot take the whole canon seriously. if we all would do that then- well. you can imagine

One of the bats has to go undercover as a patient of a particularly suspect new and upcoming therapist. Bruce already has a backstory fleshed out and a cover identity, but that's no fun now is it.

Dick: Okay, the bat council is now in session. First things first-

Steph: I'm the realest.

Jason: Shut the fuck up.

Dick: No, no arguing. We're here on a MISSION.

Tim: That's right, a very important mission.

Dick: One of us has to go undercover as Dr. Hoffman's patient. But why? Why are we seeking therapy?

Tim: Wrong answers only. If any of you get too real, Dick can and will find you a real therapist.

Dick: And Tim, no superhero related answers. Bernard's PowerPoint nights give you too much of an advantage.

Tim: You're just jealous I know that Batman is actually a tulpa.

Jason: You shut the fuck up too.

---

Dick: Okay, I'll go first to get the obvious answer out of the way. I'm going because I'm secretly Batman, BUT I'm not here about that. I just have incredibly selective amnesia and can't remember the code to the Batmobile.

Jason: Oh that one's good. Let me think.

Steph: Hoffman is a man, right?

Dick: Right.

Steph: Easy, I'll claim womanly problems. Maybe get prescribed a vibrator.

Tim: *wheezes*

Dick: Ok Gotham's in the dark ages of psychology but not THAT much.

Steph: Spoilsport. Fine, I'm Batman's long lost twin sister.

Duke: Come on, we can't all go to therapy because of Batman.

Jason: I don't know, I feel like all of us should go to therapy because of Batman.

Cass: I'll go because I'm Batman.

Jason: I'd vote for you.

Duke: I think I would go because Metropolis isn't real.

Tim: Like, the whole city is-

Duke: It's a conspiracy. The government wants us to think there's this wonderful city where nothing bad ever happens and an actual alien from space saves the day. Tries to make us buy into some utopian bullshit.

Tim: Hoffman's just going to drive you there.

Duke: Ha! He's not getting ME to a secondary location. He might be in on it.

Steph: Compelling, definitely compelling. I nominate Duke's for first place.

Jason: Don't jump the gun.

Tim: Yeah, you haven't heard ours.

Steph: Well? Let's hear it then.

Tim: I'm an alien spy, sent here to study humans. Only I'm not doing well because I was taken in by rich people and they act weirder than me. I want to know what it means to be human, but whenever I look around all I see is how to make a good margarita. It makes me... sad.

Steph: That's no good. We said wrong answers only.

Jason: Solid four out of ten.

Tim: Fuck off.

Jason: I think I would go because I was convinced I was the second coming of Jesus which is all fine and good, but my whole family is Jewish so it's making things a little awkward at the dinner table.

Steph: You did come back from the dead.

Jason: I did and I'll tell him that. Took a little longer than three days this time, though.

Tim: Okay, I'll be honest. Jason and Duke's are the best.

Dick: Hold on- Damian, do you have an answer?

Damian: Of course. And not one so foolish.

Duke: Well?

Damian: Well, my whole family is comprised of vigilantes and I'm under a lot of stress to be one as well and continue the family tradition. I will of course swear him to secrecy and avoid naming any vigilantes by name.

Dick: ...

Jason: This is what I'm talking about. This is exactly what I'm-

Dick: Yes, okay. Game's over. All of you are getting psych referrals in your inbox by the morning.

Steph: What about-

Dick: Duke won.