Stop Helping Men. Stop Going Out Of Your Way To Share Knowledge With Them. Ignore Them If You Can Do

Drunk James: and then they…

Drunk Sirius, but not as drunk as James: wait, you wanna say that my godson fucks with my nephew

James:

James: they’ve kissed right in front of me *cries*

Sirius:

Sirius: I always knew that all of Black practice incest

part 1

Mermay

Lil detail for myself but Neil is a siren and Andrew is a merman (there’s a small difference in how I draw the species and a large difference in how they are in my world building)

"No one asked you"

The King's Men - Chapter Nine

Oh this took a while, but I'm glad people stuck with me for this one because I'm really happy with it!

If you repost please credit me and/link back to this post! 🙏💕

relationship between kevin and thea only existed to establish and distance andreil from kevin. it’s so unnecessary it’s just there, but it BRINGS NOTHING to the plot. like i see why nora put kevin in a relationship and yeah it might’ve worked if it wasn’t SO FUCKING AUWFUL. i hate kevin/thea with my whole heart and just want my boy kevin to be happy and with someone fucking else.

Comic doodle I was too lazy to really clean up

Hc that once the Foxes really realize that Neil and Andrew are actually in a serious relationship and not just a fling, they're all weary of it and don't bother hiding the fact.

One day, they all happen to be in the lounge without Neil and Andrew, and the Upperclassmen are talking about the fact that they're kind of worried about Andrew and Neil being in a relationship, and Aaron agrees, and someone says something like: "I'm surprised you're worried, I thought you hated Neil. Although, I suppose you'd know Andrew's violence better than any of us since you've spent more time with him." And Aaron just scoffs and says, "I'm not worried about Neil at all. Anyone with half a brain cell can tell that Andrew would never hurt him. No, I'm more concerned about what Neil could do to Andrew." And the Upperclassmen just. Stare at him. Minds blown.

From that point on, they're forced to reevaluate everything they thought they knew, and they pay more attention to every interaction they see between Andrew and Neil, and they're forced to realize that- Aaron's right. Andrew wouldn't hurt Neil, and they're a bit ashamed of the fact that it took them so long to realize.

consider, for just a moment, the first time neil gets drunk with the foxes.

i think it wouldn’t happen until the end of his second year, but when it does, nobody was prepared.

so, neil is partying with his foxes. it’s probably a bonding night or something, just them in a dorm. i doubt he’d let himself get drunk with strangers around, but he trusts the foxes not to hurt him and he trusts andrew not to let him do anything stupid.

shockingly, neil is a massive lightweight. he rarely ever drinks, so in reality it’s not that surprising, but somehow none of the foxes expected him to get completely pissed off of like three beers.

neil, as it turns out, says the most batshit outta pocket things when he’s drunk. i’m talking bringing up his traumatic childhood in casual conversation and then immediately afterwards asking allison to braid his hair or something. just completely random and a little horrifying.

eventually, andrew decides that it’s time for neil to switch to water, but when he tries to hand neil a glass, he just says “oh, fuck off, aaron.”

andrew tries to ask what the fuck neil just called him, but neil tries to punch him before he can.

that’s right, just tries to full on deck andrew.

andrew finds the whole thing hilarious, because 1. even if andrew hadn’t caught neil’s arm, the punch wouldn’t have hurt at all. neil was moving too slowly and he probably would have missed anyway, and 2. because the first (and only) time neil ever mistook the twins, it didn’t end with him trying to kiss aaron, it ended with him trying to punch andrew in the face. neil’s gut reaction to seeing aaron is just punching him in the fucking face, and if that’s not fucking hilarious i don’t know what is.

anyway, andrew is now holding neil’s arm. neil just blinks, looks at him for a second, and goes “drew? when did you get here?”

andrew, now trying very hard not to laugh, is all like “time for bed” and drags neil back to their dorm.

neil has no memory of any of this happening until allison shows him the video she took.

andrew assures him that it was funny, but he still uses it to win arguments for a month afterwards.

я столько лет поздравляла всех ровно в 00:00 со всеми праздниками но почему-то меня никто и никогда за редким исключением

women look better without makeup and femininity is ridiculous

AU where everything is the same except Andrew has been flirting with Neil from the very beginning but Neil kept misinterpreting it for threats, whereas Andrew kept thinking that Neil was flirting back and not realizing that he’s one wrong move away from getting stabbed in his sleep. this miscommunication isn’t realized until after they hook up for the first time

Neil: does this mean you don’t want to kill me anymore?

Andrew: what do you mean?

Neil: you’ve been threatening to take me out for months

Andrew: I was talking about dinner??? what the fuck???

Neil: wait, no… you also said that you were going to blow my brains out!

Andrew: Neil. Rabbit. Junkie. I did just blow your brains out. I was down there not five minutes ago, remember?

Neil: I don’t believe this. what about that time I took the cigarette out of your mouth to take a drag and you said that if we weren’t in such a public area you’d make me scream?

Andrew: Neil you are so stupid

Neil: fuck. what about that time you said that if I kept running my mouth you’d  find a way to keep me nice and quiet?

Andrew: Neil, you are so stupid

Neil: ohhhh shit. yeah, no, I hear it now. wait, does this mean you’ve liked me all this time?

Andrew: does this mean you were willing to sleep with me even despite thinking I wanted to murder you???

Neil: hey. we all have our issues

Andrew: WHY DID YOU KEEP GOING TO SECLUDED LOCATIONS WITH ME?! you have the worst fucking survival instincts, I swear to fucking god you’re going to give me a stroke one of these days. damn is this how Wymack feels all the time? I should send him a gift card to the cheesecake factory or something