Nero: I Have An Army

Annabeth: I love how we say "oh man" to express disappointed

Reyna: Because men are, in fact disappointing

Math tells us the saddest love stories

"Parallel lines were never meant to meet"

"Tangent lines only meet once and grow apart forever"

"Asymptotes get closer and closer but will never be together "

Sadie: Uncle Amos! I need your help! I-

Amos: Is the house on fire, Sadie?

Sadie: .........No?

Amos: Then it's not really an emergency. *hangs up*

Jaz: What did he say? What should we do about the portal to hell in the living room?

Sadie: Apparently, it's not really an emergency

Carter, being strangled by a monster: IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY-

Monsters reaction to Percy over the years

12 year old Percy : fuck you

16 year old Percy : fuck, it's you

Percy calls Poseidon dad, Nico calls Hades dad, but Jason calls Zeus/Jupiter 'father' and there is a difference and I'm not normal about it

*Sirius writing a letter to James*

Sirius: Deer James,

Lily: It's Dear

Sirius: No It's not

Percy: *turns on the Argo II's and places his hand on the handprint scanner*

Computer: Welcome, voice verification required

Percy: Percy

Computer: Access denied

Percy: Percy Jackson

Computer: Access denied

Percy: Seaweed brain

Computer: Access denied

Percy: ........

Percy: Dam you, Valdez

Percy: Aquaman

Computer: Access granted, welcome Aquaman

sally and Percy having an argument over something stupid that Percy did:

Sally: if Annabeth jumped of a cliff, would you too?!?

Percy:

Percy, in his mind : *oh crap crap crap crap crap crapcrapcrapcrapcrap*

Percy:

Percy: well... It's kind of a funny story-

Hades: Ask me why I love you

Persephone: why do you love me, hades?

Hades, pulling out a two-hundred slide presentation: I'm glad you asked