Percy: Can You Pass The Salt?

piper: after everything you two have been through over the last 25 years, what are the most terrifying and brutal beasts you guys have ever faced?

everyone leaning in, ready for a good story:

percy: oh that would be our children

annabeth: *nodding slowly with wide eyes as she has flashbacks*

Nico: If I ever ask, "Do you want me to be honest?

Nico: Say no

Nico: What are you, five?

Percy, snorts: Yeah, five heads taller than you

Nico:

Percy:

Percy: I'm sorry, Please don't kill me

Reyna: Who's in charge here in camp halfblood?

Percy: ..............

Piper: ...........

Nico: Well, that's usually the one who yells the loudest

Lorcan: Love is a weakness. It's an evolutionary mistake

Rowan: You are literally making a birthday card for Elide right now

Lorcan: *points a glue gun at him* you're on fucking thin ice Whitethorn

Percy: Is this the part where you tell me that if I hurt Annabeth you'll kill me?

Thalia: No, if you hurt Annabeth she's perfectly capable of killing you herself

Percy, reading a fortune cookie: It says that if you kill a killer, the number of killers doesn't come down

Nico, with a mouth full of takeout: Kill two

*Sirius writing a letter to James*

Sirius: Deer James,

Lily: It's Dear

Sirius: No It's not