I Dont Know Who Needs To See This But: BSD Name Chart

AITA for trying to bag the new kid at my school? PART 3.

Due to the continued lack of progress, I am back, seeking help from the vagrant scum of this subreddit.

Dear basement dwellers and unwashed perverts: If even I, Tom Riddle, cannot get a date, then there truly is no hope for the rest of you.

Time to freshen up your cleaning charms and “lock in”.

For those of you whining about how I ought to just ‘approach him like a normal person’- I am not a normal person. I am a God, baptized in the blood of my enemies. Stop giving me meaningless platitudes, and start helping me smell his hair!

His little sycophant has been following him around everywhere, which has only made approaching him harder. Orion calls himself Harry’s ‘best friend’, but everyone knows Harry only hangs out with him because he feels so sorry for him. (Generations of inbreeding made one ugly baby lol!)

Harry’s very charitable like that. All the more reason to indoctrinate him into my cult, but he’s being weirdly stubborn about the whole thing?

“I don’t wanna learn dark magic, Tom.”

“I don’t believe in blood surpremacy, Tom.”

“Stop trying to take me into your murder dungeon, Tom.”

Isn’t that ridiculous? Anyone with half a brain would love to be invited into my murder dungeon the esteemed chamber built by my lineage!

Harry is very lucky to have so many muscles, as no one expects much brilliance from him. Still, I know he’s cleverer than he lets on. Just the other day, he noticed me cursing Grace Bell for lingering too long outside of the Quidditch changing rooms.

I was just looking out for him. And clearly I was right to do so, since I caught her creeping around while I was waiting for him to emerge, shirtless and damp, from his post game shower. Imagine the kind of obsessed weirdos he’d have to deal with if I wasn’t there to curse them all!

Still, other people would have been totally fooled- but not Harry. He gets me.

Clearly, he’s paying a lot of attention to me, so how can I capitalize on that? I tried spilling a bit of my potion on him in class the other day, so I could remove my shirt sensually and dry the liquid off of him. Only, then he started shouting at me about how I “wasn’t going to get away with this like I did with Myrtle.”

See- another example of how well he knows me! (That’s a girl I killed near my murder dungeon lol)

As you can see, this is a dire situation. Hurry up and provide me with some useful information before he kisses the incest baby.

Harry is very handsome, and I cannot afford to waste time. I have enclosed a photograph of him so that you wastes of genetic material understand the stakes.

[Harry_Potter_Riddle.Jpeg]

suziehiggins: oh, i get it. that guy is adorable

| OP: Stay away from my man, Susan.

Orion.Black: @harryjamespotterr

| OP: You will rue this day, you incestuous hellspawn.

harryjamespotter: Tom, is this some kind of prank?

| OP: Who is Tom I’ve never heard that name in my life.

| harryjamespotter: you literally posted a picture of yourself in the last update…

| ed_hardy: It’s okay, he was just catfishing

| OP: NO I WAS NOT

goonermachine: did you doodle Tom + Harry = Soulmates all over his picture?

| OP: I know you have eyes so I don’t see why you’re asking me such a stupid question. Yes

Soukoku headcanon that when they were 15 Chuuya especially liked using his ability to either walk or sit on the ceiling to get away from Dazai and he had the advantage for a while while Dazai was still pretty short

At 22 Chuuya still likes doing that because it became second nature for him to just sometimes wake up, make his coffee, and sit on the ceiling of his place while watching the upside down sun rise

But now if he does it around Dazai, Dazai can just boop him a lot easier without having to grab a chair to reach Chuuya. And sometimes Dazai just likes booping Chuuya and catching him in his arms before he falls

i was talking fem dazai hcs w a mutual on twitter

im in the middle of reading stormbringer and why does nobody talk about adam and chuuyas friendship goals its peak (if there is a certain spoiler ab them do NOT run thy mouth)

ima scrap my old stormbringer fic and can yall tell me which typa fic u want me to write first:

non violent ending obvi but y/n is one of the suspected people thats going to be targeted by verlaine. and so chuuya and adam come to protect her and defeat verlaine. and like chuuya and y/n are sassing each other and chuuyas like "okay i had a shitty week too yknow?? people i actually cared for died and i dont want you to be next!" --everything goes silent and adams like "Master Chuuya, I believe there are better words to articulate your romantic feelings towards y/n, maybe then you can form a relationship after this is all sorted out--" "NO."

dazai is either overseas for a while or disappears off the face of the earth(not uncommon of him) and stormbringer chuuya is given a temporarily partner (y/n). and the dynamic is like "i wish i had a family" "trust me you DONT". at the end chuuya uses corruption and y/n genuinely is like "beautiful. you're beautiful." while she smiles like GENUINELY.

TELL MEEEEE bc i like both of these ideas but idk which to write first!! stormbringer chuu chuu season!

ps. march break is after this week and im sorry for not uploading cus i have like two exams this week along with two essays and one big ass assignment :(

Hedwig:

my first thought was "drunk hedwig" would do this but ... i don't think she needs to be drunk to do this

I am a Kunikida had an emo phase truther and so just image Katai getting bribed by Dazai to give him a picture of Kunikida as a teenager.

Dazai's expecting dorky nerdy Kunikida in a suit or sweater vest at some school event.

What he gets instead is Kunikida yelling at a cop at a protest. His hair is in a high ponytail, with streaks of purple in it.

He's wearing a jean jacket filled with pins and patches. Fishnet gloves and flipping off said cop with one hand. And holding his notebook in the other.

Dazai is just staring, jaw dropped while Katai snorts in amusement.

Dazai's just like... I was robbed! We were robbed!

— I’MA TEAR OUT YOUR HEART, IT’LL ALWAYS BE MINE

RECEIVERS。stalker!nikolai gogol x fem!reader

WISHCARD。“Come and fetch me, you said. Oh, you can’t imagine how turned on I am when you invited me so. You even shouted in front of everybody else, like I was already yours to begin with. I was so excited, I needed to chase you right at that second.”

BOUQUET。stalker au, 18+ content, dark content, harsh languages, very dubious consent, predator/prey dynamics, threats, manipulation, rough make-out session, masochism, slapping, object penetration, toxic relationship, degradation kink, obsessive behaviour, inspired by a scene in haunting adeline, dead dove do not eat (please read add. notes here)

PRICE。approx. 14.7k+

FREEGIFT。haunted (isabel larosa), help (isabel larosa), runrunrun (dutch melrose)

OTHER SHOP。available on AO3

❝ That bastard is still outside of my house. 

It has been almost several weeks, and each week, he made his effort to come and stalk the fuck out of me. He just stands there outside of my window where lights could not reach him. And I can’t believe he has the massive balls to come inside my house when I was sleeping. 

He lurks in the dark like a fucking creep. I don’t know what the fuck he’s doing out there, just watching me every time I have something to do in my OWN living room. 

For all I know, he could’ve been jerking himself off watching me. Disgusting.

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new stickers for doujima! i'll be at g44

AND IF I SAY ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA