✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Remus lupin realising there were all these other werewolves out there who never got the same opportunity he did. That he was truly the exception and it was because Albus planned to use him from the very beginning. Remus recognising he was instilled with this sense of debt towards dumbledore, Remus becoming disillusioned with Dumbledore and started seeing him for what he really was. Looking at the man they'd all followed in blind faith and wondered where the hell it got them and questioning if he was even worth following. Remus taking the job in POA not only because he needs the money, but because he wants to keep a closer eye, knowing that harry was under Dumbledore's care. Because he knew firsthand that at the end of the day Dumbledore's protection wasn't worth that much.

definitely don't read it and protect your peace. i absolutely loved choices and it makes sense that in a canon compliant world he somehow has to be able to move on from regulus. but ohmygod. the love they had was so magical and beautiful and seamless and then it crashed and then boom hes with lily. AND ITS ALL WRITTEN SO WELL THAT LIKE. THE WRITING WAS ON THE WALL BUT U ARE STILL FLABBERGASTED. I was clawing at my chest praying for death to just take me honestly.

One of my favourite things about Choices is how thoroughly interwoven jily and jegulus are. they're always present like a lingering shadow but I wish we had seen more of the time inbetween the end of jegulus and the start of Jily. The guilt James must have felt at moving on, despite everything that went down between him and Regulus. the fact that it was with LILY, who regulus always felt insecure about. And when I think about it too much my heart aches.

Because it was truly so insane. Like I think it hit him so hard. because he loved regulus, truly loved him. Regulus had him, unconditionally, with no strings or games, all of him. and all james wanted was for him to love him back more than he hated himself. more than he was scared. to try another path. to not give up. and he had SO much hope for them, that they would work. And in those moments with Regulus he just felt so full and so happy and then Regulus was gone and left this humongous hole in his life and the only person that can fill it is the very person Regulus was always scared was really meant for james.

canon sirius this canon sirius that canon sirius knew a man who canonically cross-dressed (even if for convenience) & did not bully him, did not mistreat him, did not approach the subject with malice or negativity. canon sirius said, verbatim, "if you want to know what a man's like, take a look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." canon sirius asked remus for forgiveness for not believing in the best of him. canon sirius instantly, without hesitation, forgave remus for believing in the worst of him. canon sirius expressed sympathy for barty crouch jr in regards to his father's neglect and entertained the possibility that barty may have been "in the wrong place at the wrong time" when discussing his crime. canon sirius, when he thought he would be a free man, immediately offered his godson a home and a place with him, even without being aware of the neglect his godson faced, even before he had a home to offer, and he did so by prefacing that he would understand if his godson didn't want to, making it clear he would not try to force him. canon sirius could be cruel, and insensitive, and vengeful, and obstinate—but that's not all he was. canon sirius could also be compassionate and sympathetic and forgiving and accepting. canon sirius was complex, and it goes both ways, in the direction of his faults as well as his virtues. btw.

i fear im so deep into escapism i've forgotten how to live my own life. it all just feels lacklustre in comparison.

i think reading crimson rivers as my first jegulus fic and then choices did something irreparable to my psyche.

One of my favourite things about Choices is how thoroughly interwoven jily and jegulus are. they're always present like a lingering shadow but I wish we had seen more of the time inbetween the end of jegulus and the start of Jily. The guilt James must have felt at moving on, despite everything that went down between him and Regulus. the fact that it was with LILY, who regulus always felt insecure about. And when I think about it too much my heart aches.

Because it was truly so insane. Like I think it hit him so hard. because he loved regulus, truly loved him. Regulus had him, unconditionally, with no strings or games, all of him. and all james wanted was for him to love him back more than he hated himself. more than he was scared. to try another path. to not give up. and he had SO much hope for them, that they would work. And in those moments with Regulus he just felt so full and so happy and then Regulus was gone and left this humongous hole in his life and the only person that can fill it is the very person Regulus was always scared was really meant for james.

the thing is, jegulus makes perfect sense to me genuinely. And I understand the gripes that people have with it, so i'm going to try and outline my thought process. i could talk about how good of a ship this is for HOURS.

• Regulus and James would have constantly been in each other's orbit at Hogwarts. Think about it. They're both on the Hogwarts quidditch teams (regardless of if jenes was a seeker or chaser ik it's up for debate) we all know how serious James Potter took quidditch. they would've been marking each other in games, taking notes of tactics etcetc. Plus with Sirius being James' best friend he would've been even more acutely aware of Regulus, like come on. If nothing else, then because of the arguments the black brothers would get into at hogwarts. And the stories Sirius would tell him in their first few years at Hogwarts, because hello, before Sirius went to Hogwarts who was his closest ally? who did he survive an abusive home life with? REGULUS. so james knew of him, DEFINITELY was introduced to him on the hogwarts express during second year (before slyhtherin sorting).

• James being Sirius' best friend and ultimately in Regulus' eyes, the person who replaced him as Sirius' best friend. He would've resented him, because before him and Sirius fell apart, they were all each other had and SUDDENLY sirius has this other rock, this but that he admires so much. You're telling me he wouldn't be raging at being replaced? On high alert of awareness, not only for his brother that he was steadily losing but on his best friend who replaced him???? the tension?? hello?? And once they got to know each other and he has that "oh so this is what he saw in you. oh wow" Moment??

•James potter, sunshine reincarnate, who believed in others even when it came to his own detriment would 100% try to save regulus. Believe he could. A lot of people say this doesn't fit James' character because he "wouldn't lie to his friends" But I think you guys are putting him in a box. I think he's just as capable of keeping a secret as anyone else. Especially when he thinks it's for a bigger purpose.

•I love the idea of a love greater than Regulus' loyalties to his families being what inspired him to take the horcrux. Like The symmetry of both Black brothers being guided by James into the light?? That his love saves them both in different ways?? How is it not the perfect ship.

Enemies to lovers, grumpy x sunshine, regulus falling first but james falling harder, the COMPLICATED nature of it. how much of this is vindictiveness towards sirius and trying to take something away from him, of reclaiming and how much is just pure admiration for someone so good and selfless? How much is this about James' saviour complex? You anti jegulus people are not seeing the bigger picture.

ALSO HOW IS IT ANY DIFFERENT TO DRARRY??? Its the PERFECT foil to drarry. Because this truly is a world where history repeats itself. Pressured into the dark arts by his family's expectations but couldn't stomach pushing through when it actually came down to it? And his beautiful sunshine boyfriend who embodies the GOOD in the world despite everything. Give me 10 more of it right now.

it's been a full day and i'm still in catatonic shock over arcane season 2 act 2. i physically can't process what i watched holy shit.

please god give me a soft unconditional patient love like james and regulus in choices. the kind that makes you question everything you believe in and makes a home in your chest and makes you feel full and seen and understood and accepted

real asfk i was sitting there with james, blind leading the blind, nodding my head when he said he would NOT let them be doomed.

Violently sobbing over Jegulus breaking up

I know from the beginning Reg told James he couldn’t be saved but wow I didn’t expect it to hurt this bad