I Think Reading Crimson Rivers As My First Jegulus Fic And Then Choices Did Something Irreparable To

this this this this

my roman empire is that i will never be able to experience a friendship as deep as the marauders had

fun fact i finished crimson rivers right before my therapy appointment and i went in there eyes red heart broken in a state of dissociation and she thought it was over my family but no. i was emotionally distraught over two gay men who fought through hell and death arenas to get to each other and have a family and not be a great big tragedy.

i'll be fine and then i'll remember that regulus was 14 when choices started. FOURTEEN. and he'd already been through so much, and his life was on a ticking clock because he dies 4 years after the start of the story. he was literally a child it makes me feel so sick.

no thoughts, just... thinking about the way Ekko looks at Powder...

One of my favourite things about Choices is how thoroughly interwoven jily and jegulus are. they're always present like a lingering shadow but I wish we had seen more of the time inbetween the end of jegulus and the start of Jily. The guilt James must have felt at moving on, despite everything that went down between him and Regulus. the fact that it was with LILY, who regulus always felt insecure about. And when I think about it too much my heart aches.

Because it was truly so insane. Like I think it hit him so hard. because he loved regulus, truly loved him. Regulus had him, unconditionally, with no strings or games, all of him. and all james wanted was for him to love him back more than he hated himself. more than he was scared. to try another path. to not give up. and he had SO much hope for them, that they would work. And in those moments with Regulus he just felt so full and so happy and then Regulus was gone and left this humongous hole in his life and the only person that can fill it is the very person Regulus was always scared was really meant for james.

rewatching gof bc i watched poa in theatres yesterday and am watching ootp in theatres tomorrow. and im getting to the scene where harry goes into the pensieve and goes to the court room. and like i’ve seen this scene many times but. “mr rosier is dead” and it’s like. it’s hitting me bc oh he died in the ministry of magic. the attack on the ministry. where regulus got injured and james went to see him and…like i forget that canon compliant fics take place in canon and that harry potter is canon…therefore these events take place after the fanon canon compliant events. and that regulus black and james potter were in love in this fanon canon universe. and that regulus black was present when evan rosier died and his death being referenced in gof is a reference to the attack on the ministry in choices which is not canon but could exist in canon because choices is canon compliant. and jegulus is real not because jkr wrote them into the canon hp books, but because the magical wizarding universe itself that exists itself is thing and they existed in that universe in choices. so they exist in hp movies too…technically

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

｡･ﾟﾟ･　　 ･ﾟﾟ･｡

go support me on ig too if you want: siri.ustar🫶🏻

please god give me a soft unconditional patient love like james and regulus in choices. the kind that makes you question everything you believe in and makes a home in your chest and makes you feel full and seen and understood and accepted

Regulus Black in choices:

the pov switch was kinda funny when you think about it he was STRESSING

“You really care about him?”

James’s mouth forms another sad smile. “I really do.”

Ao3